Challenge: Daily Poetry 2020

From Series Bible
Jump to: navigation, search


Contents

January 2020

1/1/20

  • 7 Poems
  • 45 lines

So Many Things (poem)

NB, 4 lines

So many things that I should write
If words would come, my day be bright
And shiny then, but now so dull
I pray for rain 'fore I must go

The Days (poem)

Hello there again
A new year is come
The days are our friends
More great than the sum
Of hours between
Both good and the bad
I give thanks and believe
In all that I had

The Sharp Chill (poem)

For N

Missing you is a knife-sharp breath
Like my lungs on a winter's day
Breathing in the sharp chill
Where is warmth? Where is love?
You were always my fill

SPAG (poem)

I am asked to punctuate and capitalize properly
And there is a part of my heart that just balks
There's a breath and a cadence I'm trying to say
And hope in between all the words that it talks

New Light (poem)

Good morning to a brand new year!
I say goodbye to all my fear:
And leave it as I find new light—
The days ahead are shining bright.

letters to our (poem)

we write letters to our friends and call it journal
these steps along the way of our own journey
no one knows our heart but we ourselves
but we set them out on fancy shelves
and open up the doors and windows—"Shop!
and buy my wares, if only you would stop,"
we kindly say, our invitation warm
and buffer me, we dream, through life's long storm

of saints (poem)

joy is of the saints
I theme I find in mind a lot
where do I fit within this slot?
have I a tongue and does it sing?
what happiness do I bring
or find is brought to me?
there are moments that I see
what looks like joy that feints
my fingers slip, I need
to find another creed
that amplifies my hope
for this is the way I cope

1/2/20

  • 10 Poems
  • 52 lines

New Start (poem)

A new day breaks
Upon my heart
A promise here
Is your new start
And so with open
Hands I take
My brand new choices
Mine to make

Prayers, Series III, #001 (poem)

I thank You, God of all good things
For love, for hope, for family
And pray for more of Your great strength
To hold me close and grant me wings

A Blade of Grass (poem)

Hope is a blade of grass, the herb of the field
Any scattered seed may grow and find the light
Above the dust of the earth, fed by the Spirit
Until we reach the sun and linger near it

Different (poem)

Hope burns in my heart
Today will be different
My eyes will see a new light
And find a new end

only for you (poem)

For F and Y

quiet awaits me in moments
hidden behind closed doors
you draw me out, you wish me
to be more like before
I open my eyes and whisper
only when you's who it's for

cold (poem)

I'm not cold, I promise
it just hurts
I never meant to hurt you
forgive me please
I never meant to break us
or make you leave

wake up, my heart (poem)

wake up, new day
wake up, my heart
we watch and pray
we make a start
upon the way
before our eyes
we do and say
to reach the prize

sold (poem)

sold! to the highest bidder—my heart
wrap up all the pieces—like shards
of precious gems and jewels in the dark
gleaming with the light of a spark

moments warm (poem)

golden moments, warm and pure
full of love—my family
gathered, laughing, groaning with tales
funny and punny and true

the way the laughter (poem)

I love the way the laughter fills
the air, my heart, and lingers still
when all of us have gone to bed
within my dreams and in my head

1/3/20

  • 4 Poems
  • 29 lines

my cry (poem)

this is my cry for help
do you notice me clutching my throat
unable to breathe
I beg you, please
like you notice the changing of leaves

software, dear (poem)

you can do it, software dear
exert yourself; please make it clear
what was done: I need to see
your data captured just for me

where did you go? (poem)

For A and LO

I saw you fall
where did you go?
lost? my child
know what you know
hold to it hard
and don't walk away
all I have asked
ever is stay

no sense (poem)

For a flukey bug

no sense at all
what would it mean
you look just like
what you're between
but one before
behaves itself
and after you
is someone else
who's also fine
and all the time
I say confused
no sense at all

1/4/20

  • 3 Poems
  • 15 lines

to pass (poem)

still awake. at last, at last...
the quiet future comes to pass
beneath the sun, the bawling wind
I find myself and let it in

and also pray (poem)

another Sabbath upon us
the presence of God invited in
we praise, give thanks, and also pray
for Christ in us, our hope begin

let me be (poem)

keep quiet
stop controlling
me
I wait
for a moment
when you let me
be

1/5/20

  • 3 Poems
  • 13 lines

for you (poem)

For F and Y

if I hurt, I hurt for you
and if I ache, I ache for you
that trembling need under my skin
hopes for you just once again

a singular moment (poem)

a singular moment
captured in time
my memory a camera
this photograph mine

cry (poem)

we cry
the heat running up our body
the urge sharp behind our eyes
and dream of a morning come early
when all of this feeling may die

1/6/20

  • 3 Poems
  • 20 lines

to do (poem)

thoughts and things
I wish to do
quite so many
but I'll get through

prioritize
hope the best
reach the prize
leave the rest

stakes (poem)

numbers, colors— winning hand
pray my heart will understand
closing in, the final round
unafraid, I still will go

make 'em count (poem)

For F and Y

count 'em up
count 'em down
when all's done
make 'em count
number up
the days and heart
shuffle, cut
and now restart

1/7/20

  • 3 poems
  • 37 lines

labels (poem)

NB, 14 lines

I could be bold
like the colors of ancient crayons
unlikely adjectives sprawled
over the yellow labels
I peeled them off sometimes
and let the hearts shine through
like all your labels peel
off my heart— the boxes
of judgment placed on me
the gleaming walls
invisible cages
off in yellow, birchlike strips
I blaze inside, unlikely
colors and shine

a name (poem)

NB, 19 lines

call me something, anything,
I used to say,
as though just having a name
was good, though it wasn't
a name I would choose for myself

now, I know better,
or so I could hope;
feel the flutter— my chest
filled with butterflies,
their wings never reaching
my stomach
(they don't look down,
but I do; I do
whatever it takes
to reach up,
to pray):

call me something, anything,
but only the names
I choose

lamp on the wood (poem)

NB, 4 lines

bright lamp on the wood beside my window
keeping watch with steady eye and yellow
warmth throughout my room steadies my heart
it's almost time to sleep in cozy dark

1/8/20

  • 3 poem
  • 16 lines

beams over me (poem)

the days pass
light on the walls
beams over me
and I lie beneath
like it's only a dream
yet, here, do the math
stepping through days
'til it all comes to pass

goodnight, dear world (poem)

goodnight, dear world; I'll see you soon
I pray that I don't sleep past noon
but wake before the morning light
so I can do and make things right

lasso the sun (poem)

For A. A.

standing on tiptoes, touching the sky
never let dreams go passing you by
but catch down the clouds and lasso the sun
when it pulls ahead, hold on and just run

1/9/20

  • 4 poems
  • 29 lines

In My Bones (poem)

Sometimes, I'm tired enough to feel it in my bones
The effort, pain, and toil just to sit down on these thrones
I am the queen of something—my mind, my heart, my deeds
Until I cede and abdicate to He who claims my creed
And may this meet my needs

I wait (poem)

NB, 8 lines

cold, I wait:
the aches and pains
cannot break
my spirit nor tame
my soul that needs
to breathe, be free
I hope, I see
new light in me

we're chosen (poem)

we're golden
we're chosen
we've been here all this time
we're purple
we're royal
we're going to be just fine
a promise
before us
to walk, our hand in Christ's
ahead now
we're led out
of darkness into light

the little birdies (poem)

NB, 4 lines

the little birdies
cheep! cheep! cheep!
wonder if
their thoughts are deep

1/10/20

  • 2 poem
  • 7 lines

adorable (poem)

my sister is adorable
and that's the honest truth
exuberant and wonderful
with all the joy of youth

Change (poem)

Today, I don't like change
Today, it doesn't matter;
I will change

1/11/20

  • 3 poems
  • 16 lines

thinking of you (poem)

love bloomed in my heart today
put out shoots and petals and swayed
lovely colors in breezy winds
I think of you, time and again

God Save (poem)

God save my soul
For all the ages know
I cannot save myself
I turn to Someone else

but only me (poem)

if I hurt and scream and ache and bleed
who cares but only me?
if in my veins, I feel the need
who feels that need but me?
and should my pain outgrow the cage
of flesh and mind of me
then why do I feel all is vain
and no one cares but me?

1/12/20

  • 1 poem
  • 8 lines

Morning Cheer (poem)

I love the morning sunshine
It feels like morning cheer
Like happiness and comfort
Are always drawing near

I love the glow of daybreak
The warmth of radiant sun
I feel it in my heartbeat
A joy for everyone

1/13/20

  • 2 poems
  • 20 lines

New Week (poem)

New day, new week
New hope I seek
New joy to be
At work, you see
And light ahead
Is all I said
I need but true
I also need You

you wait for me (poem)

For A and LO

a reaching hand
an open heart
my eyes too wide
to take it in
you call to me
I turn from you
I can't believe
this love is true
you wait for me
too patiently
until that love
is all I see

1/14/20

  • 4 poems
  • 19 lines

A Prayer for a Tuesday (poem)

A prayer for a Tuesday, a hope for good things!
Rise in my heart and give that hope wings
Prayers without words for something to give
For better than survival; I just want to live
To do all You want and all that I must
I give this to You and I let go in trust

(haiku for river)

Look! water running—
River demure, unlike itself,
That roars and tumbles

I haven't forgotten (poem)

For G.B.

cold frosts the windows
I haven't forgotten you
you feel forgotten, lost in the cold—
I'm sorry
I love you still,
though I cannot be where you are

Love Through Me (poem)

This is a new day
Please make it a good one
With hope I will now pray
Love through me, God's Son

1/15/20

  • 12 poems
  • 63 lines

grace (poem)

my heart receives grace
I cannot deserve
my God deserves praise—
my family, my Love
His mercy is mine
I've felt His good grace
I fall at His feet
giving thanks to His name

Prayers, Series III, #002 (poem)

I pray for Holy Love to purge my soul
of anything unclean and heal me all
of every wound I bear and every scar
until I can be holy like You are

hold my hand (poem)

another new morning— again
I call out and cry to my Friend
Lord Jesus, please take, hold my hand
and never let go 'til the end

let me be (poem)

I'm not another person
what works for them might not for me
all I ask: the same respect
to let it go and let me be

to the bright, bright sun (poem)

wake me up to the bright, bright sun
white in my eyes and heat on my skin
I wait in the light and linger a while
that every last drop my heart can drink in

screen of death (poem)

blue screen, grey screen, white screen—
getting familiar with all these
if only my web
would work on its kreb
to show me a page and not freeze

coping mechanism (poem)

For A and LO

teach me how to cope with this
no one did before
no matter how I flailed my hands
or begged for something more
the love that was denied me once
was not requested now
so since it has arrived, I need
for you to teach me how

the blossoms (poem)

petals full, soft and gentle
the pink blossoms decorate a tender breeze
I reach out my hand and sigh
filled with the beauty I see

the tracks of my heart (poem)

follow the tracks of my heart
made through the heartlands of snow
did you know heartland was cold?
winds sharp like the mountains of childhood
howling at night 'round the house
there! I left footprints; you see me
will you come find, take my hand?

bruises (poem)

For F and Y

bruises yellow my heart organ
it beats in my chest with an ache
I make with my fingers and cry without tears
waiting to see what you'll say

sweet things (poem)

For M

sweet things
milk tea
a kitten's mew
and soft paws
sweet air
a soft breeze—
we like
sweet things

the world I remember (prose poem)

bold beauty dazzles the eyes, the golden hills that sweep away, their grassy carpet dotted with color—a bush, a flower, a tree

this is the world I remember from childhood—mountains that climbed to the heights of the sky, the crying of winds in a sound like my soul, the sound fo the stars, the crickets at night

overcast night, the darkness lit well, for my eyes to read books and my wonder to swell, where the daydreams seem real in the silence of sleep... and we dream, yes, my friend, then we dream

1/16/20

  • 4 poems
  • 27 lines

hello, world (poem)

hello, world!
good morning to you
I now am awake
so what should I do?
I open my eyes
and reach for the light
to stars and my dreams
I salute you! goodnight!

where we've been (poem)

For F and Y

love is where we've been
I want to be
there, your hand in mine—
be there again

soft words (poem)

soft words
grown from fertile soil
imagination bright
with moving pictures
feeling their way to life

to be (poem)

I'm not supposed to want things
or like things
or be things
I'm not supposed to need things
to feel things
to disagree

but I've the right to be a person
I've the right to speak
I've the right to breathe aloud
I've the right to be

1/18/20

  • 6 poem
  • 31 lines

should have been (poem)

another cold, bright morning
I'm waking into light
and suddenly remembering
what should've been done last night
I breathe, the world comes in
I pray the Lord again
to save me and my skin
and all I should have been

(american haiku for sisters)

sisters fight sometimes
and still we cherish, protect
each other from pain

free from (poem)

comes a day
when I'll be free
from pain, from fear
from everything
that keeps me, Lord
from Thee

in Your presence (poem)

Psalm 16:11

joy takes root in my soul
when You come over me and You stay
at home in my heart for a while
I pray that You never let go

With Love (poem)

For Christ is the King and the Lamb and the Son
He rises with healing, sends grace like a dove
He pours out His mercy and pays with His blood
For He holds me to Him and claims me with love

Pearls (poem)

Days pass by
Like beads on a string
Each pearl of price
A gift I may bring
To my Father with love
Should I live for my King

SEE NOTEBOOK (7)

1/19/20

  • 1 poem
  • 4 lines

to breathe (poem)

NB, 4 lines

For F and Y

let me breathe, I need to breathe
see the waters boil and seethe
and my heart volcanically heaves
whenever you say that you will leave

1/20/20

  • 4 poems
  • 32 lines

Joy Comes (poem)

Psalm 30:5

Joy comes in the morning
When I open my eyes to You
The Sun of heavenly glory
Who loves me through and through
Who bought me as a treasure
Who saves me and my life
Beyond what I could measure
I pray, fill me with Christ

The Father Hears (poem)

A child prays, the Father hears
And always stays close and near
I nestle in to perfect love
And keep my gaze fixed on above

teach my heart (poem)

why am I made welcome
when I'm in filthy rags?
why am I beloved
when I fell down again?

I pray You never leave me
and never let me go
teach my heart to love You
more than anything I know

seed of light (poem)

we are golden
bright promises
I promise in your soul
the seed of
potential
is buried and may grow
within us
the greatest
of things we'll ever know
like a candle
is burning
and soon may light us all

1/25/20

  • 1 poem
  • 4 lines

late (poem)

a moment late
don't hesitate
nor stand and wait:
get through the gate!

1/26/20

  • 6 poems
  • 55 lines

talk to me, my love (poem)

talk to me, my love
let your murmur linger in my ear
so my heart can hold you near
no matter how the miles between
I hear your voice and all it means
settles in and meets my need

turtle (poem)

am I a terrible person
for locking myself away?
I'm supposed to be with you
at some point today
I feel l'm never enough
even if you won't say
I could be more loving
and surely I could stay

Most Faithful (poem)

Good afternoon! It's evening soon:
Did I accomplish all I wish?
I know it's true, so much to do—
The lists we know are never through...
And yet my heart cannot depart
From knowing love must be enough
To hold to me most faithfully,
Though I'm not what I should be.

do you love me? (poem)

For M

love
do you love me?
I wander too long on this question—
back and forth
like a sidewinding road
"We take the scenic route"
I remember your laugh
how it tickled my insides
with delight in the joy of your presence
is this the way it's supposed to be?
when I lie here awake
and the night feels less warm than it did
I wonder sometimes if it all
was the product of imaginations
of course not
of course it was not
it'd just be easier if it were

like red (poem)

For C and D

a crimson tide— your bloodstained hands
a glass of wine, to taste your mouth
I wonder at the shades of red
the flaming hair upon your head
the faintest smile, stained like you
with all the darkness that you do—
it is not black inside like me
but red like blood, like blood should be

grit my teeth (poem)

watch me be stubborn
I know how to do that
watch me hold on
with nails, gritted teeth
the end of the world
is not here, not yet
so I'll carry on
as I must, until dawn

1/28/20

SEE NOTEBOOK (3)

Prayers # (poem)

my heart contains multitudes
good and bad and true
if I long for purity
then what's a girl to do?
I take these crowds within me
and give them all to You

1/29/20

again (poem)

I am quiet again
today
the house is still
I fell down again
this happens too often
wondering when
like everyone else
I'll walk

1/30/20

1/31/20

SEE NOTEBOOK (3)

to everything there is a season (poem)

snow upon my soul
to make me clean
new life to spring and grow
a carpet green
that I might bear much fruit
within the Vine
and all the dead leaves fall
'til glory's mine

February 2020

2/2/20

  • 3 poem
  • 14 lines

New Week (poem)

New days ahead, new week, new bread
To fill me up and brand new cup
I drink it down, the days that pass
Like sands that slip through hourglass

Sometimes I Wonder (poem)

The truth is, sometimes I wonder
Why anyone loves this wayward heart
The fact that I seem a blunt hammer
Even when I'm trying to love
I fall upon the mercy of
My God and hope I'll be enough

the new day (poem)

new morning catch me by surprise
just as I open up my eyes
and feel the new day flood my limbs
and so I rise up once again

2/3/20

  • 4 poems
  • 36 lines

a step of faith (poem)

Good morning is a step of faith
A carried hope within my breast
That every song the songbird trills
Really sees some future joy

Time Understands (poem)

I don't tend to look backwards—
Well, I do—but not the way you think
I don't look at the old things,
The days past, because nothing lasts
That we can clutch within these hands
Time knows and understands
That nothing real has happened yet
Nor is it real what shall become
The only thing that I can have
Is this new moment—just this one

postage stamp (poem)

my life does not fit on a postage stamp
my heart can't be contained within these lines
I feel you look at me—it's cold and damp
that's just when winter happens in these times
I feel the heat of spring; my heart unthaws
and tentatively I shoot out my leaves
wondering if I'll be snapped in jaws
or find myself pressed down between the leaves
another book is writ: I'll take the pen
it was never if but only when
I'll know the warmth of summer, come what may
it is the truth that I have some to say
and let the ice fall from me, broken shards
off this heart of flesh, once cold and hard

poems for the ages (poem)

these are not poems for the ages
they're to break and empty cages
that try to shroud my heart
I've known them from the start
surely there are words to answer
and powers and mercy that conquer
break every chain with freedom
come out, by grace, and run

2/24/20

To Hope (poem)

Good morning again, O brand new world—
A brand new day made just for us.
I feel it in my bones, the world
Waiting for me, new, untouched.
Is it wrong for me to hope
And pray and dream and mostly hope
That this new day would so unfold
That I'll look back, pleased, tomorrow?

To Success (poem)

I'm a little behind on some things
That shouldn't ever stop me
From carrying onward, forward
And rising ever upward

To Pray (poem)

For G

I hope you have a lovely day
I miss you and I pause to pray
That God will hold you in His heart
And comfort you throughout your way

For Family (poem)

Thank You, Lord, for family
A great gift that You've given me
Those who also walk with You
And somehow always love me too

Hold Fast (poem)

For B and G

These are the days burning bright in us
Can we hold on through all too much
Hold fast to all the promises?
I'll walk with you and this we'll do

2/29/20

  • 3 poems
  • 16 lines

with love (poem)

with love He has drawn me
near to His heart
with mercy poured out
His light in my dark
changed all my visions
my hopes and my dreams
even transformed
my reality

drastic measures (poem)

drastic measures
come to me
my eucalyptus
and I breathe

in precious moments (poem)

joy in precious moments
between the longer days
love and sharing memories
with you—so warm today

March 2020

3/15/20

SEE NOTEBOOK (1)

so much (poem)

How can my heart hurt?
—so much, so much
How does my heart cry?
—so much, so much
I don't deserve to
cry all these tears
How do I live now?
—so much, so much

April 2020

4/7/20

A Winter Day (poem)

For N

A winter day–
how my heart hurts:
I think and pray,
remember love–
remember days
I heard your voice,
felt warm embrace
around me close,
and then I say,
I give You thanks
for every moment
she was mine.

catch me (poem)

For N and for F and Y

catch me when I'm waking
up from an endless dream
and hold me when I falling
into an endless scream
for all my days are empty
when they are void of you
and there is no one else
and nothing else to do

a broken record (poem)

I feel like a broken record

some days

broken in so many ways,
like the sunlight breaking through my
walls was just a joke I made,
I played–
do you understand the roles we play?
in this game we call
a thing I won't invoke
I feel it down in my bones
and I'm asking you to know
the person I am

who I could be

before I enter eternity

4/10/20

heart unawares (poem)

so mark me down as one who cares
you catch my heart down, unawares
where all can see how open and
feel what they don't understand

June 2020

6/7/20

in a temple (poem)

my heart lives in a temple
the ceilings tall and white
arcing over above me
glowing in sunlight

my soul rests on an altar
within the fires bright
here the warmth will hold me
ever in the light

so often (poem)

once upon a time, I wrote so easily and so often
the words danced on my tongue and spilt in ink— I hear the bells
chiming out the songs and melodies within my heartspace
and filling all my mind with all that was and what can be

loud and clear (poem)

For F and Y

I hear you
loud and clear
you claim you do not
want me near
and yet you linger
so close to me
as if demanding
that my eyes see

For One Thing (poem)

Today, I hope for one thing
To catch up to myself in flight
Where my wings went out ahead of me
To carry me into the light

in order (poem)

I don't write in order
but I don't care
I do not do it right
not unaware
but watch me weave my words
and mark it well
when one day you fall under
my own spell

6/8/20

see notebook (4)

I have cried so many tears
It's time to put away my fears
And look ahead to coming years
With hope in Christ, so I draw near

July 2020

7/25/20

in the end (poem)

SMP

I am not broken
I wrote some years ago
that is not how I feel today
trust not feelings
many say
and I'm still one of those

I trust in the Hand
that carried me down
two sets of stairs alive
safe in a bubble
as head over heels
I tumbled and crashed—I tried
to know this feeling
deeper than bones
through the slow-eroding flood
to know in my heart
to write in my blood
that I shall emerge in the end

7/28/20

SEE NOTEBOOK (5)

tonight (poem)

I am quiet tonight
I say again
as if I were not quiet
every other night
and as if the stars don't twinkle
up in the deep blue sky
more quiet than my softest
deepest sigh

August 2020

8/9/20

in quietness (poem)

NB, 8 lines

in quietness I wait
and here I stay
where hope and light have burned
seems for always
they guide me through the
darkness and the deep
and keep me when I wander
through my sleep

8/29/20

seems not intuition (poem)

Maker, 8 lines

8/30/20

He Calls (poem)

SMP, 8 lines

the quiet lingers
in my bones
I hear the voice
my soul still knows
He calls, He calls
with love to me
and to His home
my heart will flee

heartsore (poem)

SMP, 8 lines

bruised and broken, heartsore, torn
though I cry as if newborn
and though my skin is new and red
as though with blood, I'm bound to tread

yet and still, my God believes
in who I am if I receive
the plan He once laid out for me
I reach to Him and He to me

a little songbird (poem)

SMP, 12 lines

there's a little songbird in my heart
you hear that clear, sweet melody? so far
beyond the urge within me to lie down
ashamed enough that I would go to ground

I hear the echo clearly in my soul
of Light shining so brightly, as if I know
a secret I have only just forgot
the One who saw my fully and who bought

my life with Love so perfect, for His love
laid down His own and bought me with His blood
this the source of that small, perfect song
I listen to the songbird and go on

candles (poem)

SMP, 4 lines

we wait, like little children
candles in the night
shining for our Father
that others see His light

the golden sea (poem)

NB, 4 lines

For K and B

the golden sea within your eyes
an innocence devoid of lies
a perfect love I've never seen
how could I not love all you've been?

let this be known (poem)

NB, 4 lines

For K and B

fire and light within my soul
stand by your side, let this be known
for any who would mean you harm
shall face me first, this I have sworn

a kind of lightning (poem)

NB, 24 lines

For K and B

there's a kind of lightning in the tongue
fired up when hea'en and earth were young
a light that shines but only in a heart
a passion that can pierce the fiercest dark

there's a kind of love that beats anew
with every pain and trial we've been through
a desperate loyalty that knows no cure
and never wants but for it to endure

there's an open question in your eyes
a broken invitation we realize
burnt into the pattern of our lives
we clasp our hands together in the light

there's a bond that's older than the earth
a blood far deeper than the blood of birth
a covenant between your heart and mine
there is no line between us and that's fine

there is an end of battle on the field
an enemy we promised to make yield
a victory that's sweeter for the sharing
we never learned a song where we weren't caring

for there's a friend that's closer than a brother
and family that's dearer than our mother
and that which can't be broken in our lives
nor in worlds beyond still in our eyes

September 2020

9/2/20

the one (poem)

For K and B

I see you in the stars above
bright shining in the dark I loved
before my eyes could see the sun
because of you: you are the one

crystal (poem)

moments broken and shattered like crystal vases
fallen from their heights, spilled out of cages
cherished songbirds locked between the bars
free at last, the price of endless wars
if my heart could capture in these phantom
images refracted, glowing bright
all the moments crystalline and perfect
that carried me through battlefields at night
then maybe I would hold too close to vases
full of glitt'ring memories like flowers
and maybe images would be my master
instead of lending me their inward powers
and so I stretch my fingers out—a songbird
spreads her wings and flies away at last
I spread my arms, my eyes upon the sunset
and walk away from all the roads I passed

9/5/20

like the sun come down (poem)

For L and D

you look at me
I stretch out my legs, to look at you slowly
is to burn like the sun come down
out of its heavens and perch on my sill
you're there at the window
jabbering like the dark jays, flirting their wings
and jawing their little beaks
full up of things to say and also
of too many things to eat
I feel a hunger inside me
to taste all the words in your mouth
and the smile flashing like sunlight
over your face, strike me like beams
golden and bright and a little too warm
I look at you
the same way you look at me
when you think I'm not looking
for friendship blossomed between us
too long ago to turn back now
too far ago and too rooted
to burn it all down and start over
but every evening the sun goes down
and every morning the sun rises up
I think to myself if I push under horizon
that maybe the morning will come

9/7/20

strange days (poem)

sometimes I have strange days—

that's what they feel like
burning under pain and a tingling, ravaged feeling in my chest

this is not the end of the road
and wouldn't it be nice to know when that will come?
but I promised my sister, my very best friend
that so long as she's on the road
I'll be there too
I feel it on these days when wings almost wake inside me
beating within my breast like a captured song
begging to be released
when I feel the heat
burning up under my skin and I cry
with the cries of a thousand birds within the cage
of my body, my tongue, my life
this is the day I look to the heavens and pray
for wings that break through cocoons and shatter the wind between them
send life through my veins, and stiffen me up
so I can take the skies

9/9/20

smoke and ash and dust (poem)

I have burned to pieces
been broken and distraught
felt cities walls come crashing
where my heart has bled and fought
until the sands were stained
with evidence of tears
and the night was covered
with the leavings of the years
smoke and ash and dust
cascading through the air
I have learned to trust
for you still found me there

9/29/20

what I can take (poem)

do not bruise me
do not make me ache
please
there's only so much that I can take
the shivering leaves
in bristling winds
the breezes blow
my breath begins
I feel it there
the steady pounding
thrumming, drowning out my thoughts
in time with you
your tongue

9/30/20

don’t always (poem)

tumblr

I don't always talk a lot
sometimes I talk too much
I never say the things
festering inside my heart
the color of rain that breathes
out my sorrow and fear
the sweetness of every moment
I forget that you're not here

October 2020

10/6/20

see notebook

10/11/20

Lost (poem)

Maybe I'm lost
And the trees have withered
Paid the full cost
To carry me hither
I wanted to know
More than I contain
Full to the brim
What I cannot explain

10/13/20

I have words (poem)

I have feelings
I have words
where do I put them?
why aren't they heard?
they look at me
disappointed eyes
I turn away
and look at the sky

10/20/20

illusion (poem)

NB [Tumblr], 4 lines

for F and Y

There's a moment, beautiful and new
Where I open my eyes and see you
I reach out my hands, as if I could touch
Dispel the illusion–I miss you so much

10/21/20

The Day I Wake (poem)

Today is the day that I wake
Feel the decisions I'll make
The day that's before me can quake
The heart that's within me won't shake

Prayer # (poem)

God of our Fathers, I pray You this day
To open the eyes of Your children who pray
And open the ears of all who may say
Thy will be done– Lord God, have Your way!

see the tides (poem)

This is a new day, a new morning,
breaking upon me like dawn on the sea.
See the tides washing over me–
a sea of possibility
lies open before me,
a horizon of sun.

November 2020

11/1/20

biting at my insides (poem)

I feel it
biting at my insides
like sunlight chewing on the underside
of a dark horizon
just before it consumes it all
in light
this is not a bad thing
the itch to change
to be someone I want to be
someone I am not now
but somehow someone
I can become

legendary (poem)

for K and B

this is the history of us
we were legendary once
for all the wrong reasons
did they know you changed the world
overwrote my history
with futures beyond imagining
if only "I" was "we"
you went beyond the story
a hero from my dreams
I followed and I'll follow
you're legend still to me

11/15/20

my pen (poem)

I'm not waiting the way you think I am
I'm lying still, anticipating
brightness breaking; I move my pen
for this is where the light comes in

11/18/20

Sense of Self (poem)

There are bruises on my sense of self
In the shape of footprints where you have walked
I do not blame you or anyone else
I put salve on my wounds and refuse to back down

11/24/20

a good start (poem)

the light is beautiful each morning
I wake to brand new brightness in my heart
call upon the mercies of the Father
this is what I call a good start

not the end (poem)

good morning to my heart again
please remember, sensitive friend
this is not at all the end
carry on; I'll see you then

December 2020