Challenge: Daily Poetry 2019

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Contents

January 2019

1/1/19

containered pain (poem)

For N

my breastbone aches
with containered pain
the new year comes
I cry in vain
all I want
is you again

of happy moments (poem)

happiness is not the sum
of happy moments that have come
nor everything that breaks the numb
shell around my heart, the sum
of smiles, of laughs, of memories made
with family on better days
happiness: a choice I make
regardless of the pain I face

hope splinters (poem)

bones break
porcelain cracks
hope splinters
but grows back

the world is tired (poem)

the world is tired
and aches besides
within me all
the universe hides

so I can shine
like stars of light
or fade away
the longest night

sky boats (poem)

boats to the heavens
skyward fly
I'll see their promise
by and by
the light so brilliant
before my eyes
from the ashes
I might rise

my biggest project (poem)

I'm not the pleasant person
that I used to be
I know my biggest project
is to get to work on me
because my heart is hurting
is the weakest pale excuse
somehow I must conquer
all my follies and misuse

the little stupid things (poem)

I care
about the little stupid things
the things that get under your skin
they seem to carry their wings
take off and fly in my eye
I swat them and keep going by
I care and it hurts and it bleeds
I try to forget all my needs
but sometimes it hurts and it aches
and sometimes it trembles and quakes

a flaw (poem)

I am not a self-promoter
this is stupid of me
it's not a flaw I'm unaware of
I'm not as good at some at writing
or anything really
and I'm not even as good right now as I was

it's not a lack of discipline, a lack of will
the troubles that plagued before do plague me still
I've spent too much of a year fraught and ill
and it seems too much to ask, please love me still

how to bleed (poem)

I have been damaged
I know how to bleed
but not how to staunch up
my wounds or to heed
the firing neurons, the pain in my head
I'm never enough and so trudge on instead

take solace (poem)

take solace in the winter rain
the icy mist, the snowy plain
the chilly air the heart makes warm
christmas lights glow in the storm

kisses goodnight (poem)

loving farewells
kisses goodnight
blessings of peace
turn out the light

starry skies (poem)

starry skies
wink bright above
eternal, less so
than Christ's holy love

1/2/19

Prayer for the New Year 001 (poem)

guard my steps and tongue today in all things
I want to live as Christ would have me do
teach me love and purity that Christ brings
speak to me and help me follow You

little birds (poem)

little birds flit
across the sky
ideas bright
within my mind

battle plans (poem)

battle plans rarely survive
the first hour of the day
I will not plan, yet will thrive
if in all things I pray

something inside (poem)

quiet me down
there's something inside
amenable to being soothed
don't pin me down
there's something I hide
once wakened, it cannot be soothed

a morning poem (poem)

a morning poem
stretches the heart
flexes the mind
off to good start

wisdom is (poem)

wisdom is knowing when to laugh
and when to stop laughing
wisdom is knowing when to jump
and when to stand there looking
wisdom is knowing when to feel
and when to stick to thinking
wisdom is knowing when to seek
and when you've found be thankful

Stress (poem)

Habits
Those little persnickety things I lose so easily
When I least expect it, tell me how
To keep them in my pocket that seems to be holey
As if it's trying to let bad humors out

like constellations (poem)

hope, like constellations in my heart
the starry skies below, once thought so dark
lit up with beams of visions and of dreams
they linger on and catch my eyes with gleams

deep in the eye (poem)

wake me up when it's over
I can sleep through a storm when I may
deep in the eye I lie waiting
and here is where I will stay
don't rouse me to ride like the thunder
or swirl about like the wind
I'll wait out the temper and wonder
just when we will do this again

of joy (poem)

joy is of the saints
'cause joy is with the Lord
those near, close to Him
shall have the fullest joy

1/3/18

Prayers for the New Year 002 (poem)

God on high, I pray Your light
Fill my heart and fill my sight
Overflow me with Your love
Teach me praise to rise above

Prayers for the New Year 003 (poem)

I pray the aid of Heaven
in all that must be done
to glorify the Father
by Him all battles won

dancing in your arms (poem)

broken pieces of my heart
hold you close, the music starts
a symphony begins to play
I cannot hold our love at bay

This Is One of Those Days (poem)

This is one of those days
When winter breaks the boughs from trees
My body's blown by a strong enough breeze
At home, I crash, it is release

1/5/19

the turning gears (poem)

the turning gears
the wise machine
between my ears
is ruled by me
revolving door
the feeling heart
my guiding hand
must stop and start

moments, masks (poem)

moments, masks, filtered through
hides, reveals, my heart shines through
upon my sleeve, so clear to you
hold me now and I'll hold you

1/6/19

this is what it feels like (poem)

this is what it feels like
everything all new
maybe sparkly, shiny
but I just want to see right through
to all the trials, battles
lurking 'round the way ahead
I will push on through them
will not turn around instead

crying (poem)

there's crying downstairs
it hurts my chest like my own tears do
it hurts my heart like my own fears do
I stay upstairs and do not cry

1/7/19

one cup for me (poem)

good morning, tea!
one cup for me
well, make it two
before adieu

we were here (poem)

speak love before you say goodbye
it's not like asking you to cry
just acknowledge reasons why
we were here before love dies

calculations (poem)

what matters the heart to a mind of cold calculations
I open my eyes; I am become mathematician
the heart is on fire: I cool its burning with song
for choices are mine, if so be I am strong

couplet for the river (poem)

the frozen river bubbles away below
waiting for a warmer day, less snow

push, push (poem)

sometimes I'm just so tired
the world once felt so new
now it feels like I'm wired
to just push, push, push through

moving (poem)

moving in the quiet
my nerve endings light up
the darkness is not quiet
not enough

hoping for perfection
screaming 'cause I'm not
the hope can keep me going
I'm in knots

keep me burning (poem)

For F and Y

touch me, catch me, keep me burning
light me up, my heart is yearning
always hold me close to you
every day and all night through

1/9/19

days go by (poem)

days go by
the open road
is traveled by
an open heart
my feet are like
the bounding deer
my heart can fly
for years and years

passion burns (poem)

For F and Y

sweetness yearns
passion burns
cross our swords
and throw our words
razor grins
the turns and spins
that bring me back
to you again

Prayers for the New Year 004 (poem)

keep my eyes on You, O God
keep me walking in Your love
teach my heart to fear Your name
my soul Your praise to e'er proclaim
Your peace depends on holding to
You in my mind and all I do

turn the page (poem)

turn the page
and then one more
the white and blank
is spread before
a willing mind
heart poised to write
so let unfold
dip pen in light

feel the warmth (poem)

a cup of tea
so comforting
I feel the warmth
inside of me
the smoothness on my tongue
when morning still feels young
the needles' edge, the sweet
the hint of tannin bark
I open up my mouth
and take into my heart

overflowed (poem)

my soul alight with hope and promise
joy will come with each new dawning
hope arise though trials yawning
their mouths overflowed by the flood of Your love

(haiku for thaw)

crackles and shivers
ice breaks off the eaves in time
heart and hands do thaw

don't you ever miss (poem)

For F and Y

don't you ever miss the warmth we shared
the way I turned to you when I was scared
it seemed that you were never unprepared
together all the things we hoped and dared
every hurt you felt, you know I cared
we did our best and it seemed we fared
well and happy for a time, I was ensnared
by no suspicion, you left me unaware
and now you're gone. did you ever care
don't you ever miss the warmth we shared

firebird (poem)

waters run down
it's the heat death of the universe
so don't look now
until we're born again

the tiny bird (poem)

hope is the tiny bird, fluttering in my chest
its wings beat against the inside of my heart
I open my mouth to speak, its song flies out

entwined (poem)

sold to the highest bidder
my love
cannot be bought for jewels
or gold
but with your heart, our worlds entwined
with this, I know, I'm yours
you're mine

1/10/19

(haiku for joy)

joy lurks in the depths
bubbling up, a spring of
cold and clear water

hope (poem)

some of us hope
the day's not over
my hope's got wings
and forever sings

full (poem)

fetch down
haul up
live full
full cup

want your love (poem)

For F and Y

Things that I want
And hopes that I keep
It's not a great mystery
It's not very deep
I just want your love
You held once for me
More than for him
It meant everything

moments like fireworks (poem)

For F and Y

moments like fireworks burst
behind my eyelids
I cannot see for light
cast in colors bright
every moment I used to share
with you, I feel right there

1/13/19

still (poem)

I am quiet, still
swirled around like water
keep me quiet, still
serenity is power

1/14/19

however long (poem)

happiness springs
like a well in one's soul
it can't just be given
but must be claimed whole
so hold out your hand
and reach for the light
never stop singing
however long the night

blood is flowing (poem)

I have good days and bad days
happiness on sad days
blood is always
flowing in my veins

1/18/19

(haiku for family night)

love is laughter late
before a bright screen; family
together again

(haiku for patience)

hope burns in my heart
joy rises with dawning sun
I with patience wait

no (poem)

red flags
no means no
if he ignores
it's time to go

the light (poem)

colors bright
I love the light
my gaze is fixed
'til faith is sight

until morning (poem)

quiet me gently
hold me with love
just stay here with me
until morning come

be fine (poem)

For SM

I will be fine
sometime
don't check my breath
or wait for my death
I'm breathing in fire
the flames are alive
I'm blood and I'm bone
can't end me tonight

1/19/19

everything known (poem)

I am quiet
in my heart, in my soul
everything past
is just everything known
go beyond
where no one will go
reach to the stars
and find they're home

earned this moment (poem)

For F and Y

I've been burned before
come find me
in the open door
you earned this
moment on the floor
we're dancing
as if it's what we planned

third time (poem)

For F and Y

third time's the charm
to keep me warm
to open my eyes
to hold through the storm
third time's the charm
at the end of the day
to know we're together
and won't walk away

how it will go (poem)

I wrote a poem today
though I didn't know quite what to say
isn't that how it will go
so often it feels like I know
this is the way we will run
remember me in the bright sun

just my best (poem)

I never promised a good one
just my best
I know I promised the moon
but gave you the rest
I hope in my dreams for it all
but I'm blessed

1/21/19

all my edges (poem)

Burnt at all my edges
I used to be a good girl
I'm praying on the ledges
Save me, pull me back, Lord

1/23/19

buried deep (poem)

The things I mean
and secrets keep
I pray that I
can go to sleep
and find in dreams
I buried deep
the love we lost
at cost too steep
Find me where our hearts still sigh
before we have to say goodbye

1/25/19

Teach Me (poem)

Teach me Your ways, O God of Heaven
Teach me to praise, O King of earth and
All my days, forever always

the tongues of winter (poem)

winter settled in my bones
audible sound of foreign phones
cold that shivers, ice that breaks
the difference just a season makes
speak the tongues of winter now
do not stop to wonder how

1/26/19

clean my soul (poem)

broken pieces of my heart
clean my soul in every part
do not let the dark escape
transmute my pain to something great

love can't stay (poem)

love is a memory, warm and full
within my heart, that memory grows
but love can't stay, just fade away
unless it blooms and I give it away

hope is (poem)

hope is the little bird singing
and the way my heart is beating
and the sunrise that is coming
the canvas of becoming

do you know love (poem)

For F and Y

tell me: do you know love
hold me; the night is long
listen, we two are strong
in unbroken bond belong

(haiku for breezes)

breezes through my hair
blow history and thought to
some faraway place

need for healing (poem)

I've been bruised and broken
but also have awoken
to need for healing touch
and kindness, love so much

I pray now (poem)

I breathe, my heart pounds
don't make a sound
I hope, I pray now
all's well somehow

one of those things (poem)

hope is one of those things
the heart breathes; the soul sings
the mind rides forth on love's wings
and faith will fill; the Son brings

1/27/19

The Way We Laughed (poem)

For F and Y

Have you forgotten the way we laughed
Sometime back in the distant past?
It aches in my heart, it breathes in my lungs
The joy and the love from when we were young

Hungry (poem)

I am hungry deep inside
Like a cavernous ocean trench
A maw that gapes so deep and wide
And swallows all, the teeth'll clench

easy to burn (poem)

so easy to burn
instead of to earn
reach up, try to build
there's hope for you still

1/28/19

Prayers for the New Year 005 (poem)

morning time, before they wake
the dreams of night I try to shake
God, help me fix my eyes on You
and keep them there the whole day through

for tea (poem)

a swirl of tea
a ribbon of heat
I patiently wait
for the morning's treat

Prayers for the New Year 006 (poem)

God, You are more than enough
Even when times get rough
Forgive my wandering heart
Draw me back to the start
Of Your love

three times 'round (poem)

three times 'round the cup
three times 'round for me
it's time to sip that fragrant tea
the life's that's pulsing in my bones
the air that breathes, the soul that knows
I drink it down and so it goes

on average (poem)

a powerful thing: on average
I keep the goal on average
I build it up on average
the discipline I need

the stairway (poem)

the stairway I climb
just step by step
it's painstaking
I cannot skip
but in the end
it's worth the trip

a dream of more (poem)

hope beats like pounding drum
a dream of more outweighs the sum
when every deed supports the thought
the heart concurs, the vision bought

what they say about castles (poem)

you know what they say about castles
don't build them up in the air
but look at the ones now standing
how do you think they got there

a hundred stories (poem)

If I was going to write a hundred stories
Set out with every one fixed in my mind
I think I should go chart a new trajectory
Than the one machete's like to find
The jungle's thick with a hundred new ideas
But take a look, consider what the kind
Should I go pave a road and level mountains
I'd want to leave a legacy behind

1/29/19

this I pray (poem)

For Sarah

heartfelt, sincerely, I wish you all joy
may Christ be your lamp and His hope be your buoy
let faith guide you surely, His love guard your way
His truth be your armor—all this I pray

Prayers for the New Year 007 (poem)

hello, new day
we hope, we pray
a bit of joy
might come our way
in Christ we week
His promised peace
pray through our trials
success increase

the river's dreams (poem)

white upon the river
snow upon the ice
below I hear the rushing
its dreams are passing by

1/30/19

Prayers for the New Year 008 (poem)

wake up my eyes, O God; let me see
the truth of my life and what's growing in me
wake up my heart, O God; help me believe
and live out Your promises now faithfully
wake up my soul, O God; fill me with light
guide me and keep You forever in sight

(haiku for refreshment)

cool, clean water runs
river down my throat—I breathe
spring has come at last

1/31/19

On Looking Back to the Start of the Year (poem)

I close my eyes
One month is gone
Each day that flies
A blur, a swan
Upon the surface
I looked too long

wish for love (poem)

the moon is bright
with stars tonight
I wish for love
to found my sight
I wish for joy
to live in me
and hope in Christ
eternally

February 2019

1/3/19

for rain (poem)

quiet, we hope for rain
the sound of its susurrations
to warm our hearts again
and wash away the pain
the murmur of cleanness coming
the hope of a brand new morning
we wait with our arms wide open
water sluicing our hearts

someone waits (poem)

For F and Y

someone waits on the bench for another
hands folded, anxious, it's been so long
the sun beats down, the shadows pass
the other comes, they sit, belong

nervous (poem)

knocked knees, hands sweat
anticipation now met
breathe deep, open mouth
let the words come flowing out

easy to want (poem)

so many easy things to want
claims upon my heart and my attention
to focus on the one is somehow brave
and let to fall away all bright distraction
I guide my heart and gaze in its affection

sunset brightness (poem)

golden promises
molten light
sunset brightness
'fore the night

2/4/19

in everything (poem)

holiness, to set myself apart
from all I want that is not of You
all the day, in everything I do

butterflies (poem)

fluttering wings
my heart beats
beneath my ribs
I breathe, I need

what I'd give (poem)

mornings come and evenings go
seasons fly and days move slow
what I'd give to finally know
the life I want, the hope I grow

Somebody (poem)

somebody tell me
which way the wind blows
which way the road goes
which way my heart knows
somebody tell me
You'll walk beside me
lead me and guide me
always abide me

2/5/19

the break of day (poem)

the morning's poem, the break of day
a light of lyric to hold its sway
I speak in picture and feel in rhymes
may heaven's mercy be on these times

on happiness (poem)

happiness dons the robe of peace
it walks in love, lets thanks increase
and notes with chiming rings of joy
all good things that trials alloy

lowly scribe (poem)

I am but a lowly scribe
both good and bad I may imbibe
the secret is to choose the good
and share it out to all who would

cast my cares (poem)

so much to do, so much to try
sometimes I'd like to hide and cry
but strength from Christ will carry through
if I will cast my cares on You

no words to say (poem)

the days I have no words to say
even then, take time to pray
and let my mutest sorrows earn
the path from me to You: I learn

like children (poem)

children clamber the saintly knee
or royal lap with impunity
the God of heaven invites us to
become like children and love renew

The Bridegroom (poem)

do not leave the Bridegroom at the altar
stretched out, the Lamb of God, with open arms
waiting for the marriage that He offers
to love forever and to save from harm
consider now the very Prince of Heaven
and pray return His love, accept the crown

count it gain (poem)

days can be cold and love can be pain
when trials come find you, then count it all gain
as you climb up the mountain and fight the good fight
you'll master yourself, don clothing of light

do we answer (poem)

the children cry but do we answer?
hear the questions, hear the pain
remember when you were a child
do not let them cry in vain

one (poem)

there is one God
and there is one road
that leads through this life
and reaches His throne
there is one Maker
and there is one Christ
only one way
out of darkness to light

some days I surprise (poem)

some days I surprise myself
I open pen and heart flows out

wisdom states (poem)

wisdom states, we all must learn
the lessons of self-mastery
and all receive the things we earn
of joy or pain, and things we need
to grow through trials; forests burn
the old and dead and on it feed
so with hope, we meet the turn
of circumstance with eyes that see

what birth (poem)

hey, hope is a thing
it takes root in my heart
like the seed of a flower
grows down in the dark
of the earth where it's warm
'til the water and light
whispers, now grow
draws it out of the night

I hope in my soul
like a butterfly's wings
molded in the cocoon
until the birth brings
all the pain and the trial
to shape them and spread
into glorious flight
and to stand in good stead

there is something to say
for the evening then day
for the push before gain
for what birth without pain

A Prayer for You (poem)

For S

May God hold you in His hand
I know He understands
He feels so far away
Like there's no need to pray
But God who made Himself
The image of your pain
Gave His life away
Just your life to gain
I hope for perfect peace
May in your life increase
I pray for joyful things
To find you and for wings
Of hope to raise you up
And love to fill your cup

they bleed (poem)

we hurt, we ache
our wounds, they bleed
we're made of hopes
we're shaped by need
the God above
who made us all
we hope he hears
us when we call
the earth could shake
the mountains fall
our hearts split open
our minds a squall
this storm shall pass
when in the eye
we reach for Christ
hold fast thereby

must bloom (poem)

within the desert, we must bloom
and be the brightness others see
I long for water, shade, and room
to be whate'er I want to be
but life sweeps all as with a broom
I make my own reality

upon the winds (poem)

eagle cry upon the winds
rise above the coming storm
carried by the tides of clouds
lightning dances far below
so I cry to God and rise
above the troubles plaguing me
by riding on the driving wave
of the strength in Christ I need
just to live another day
to wake, to stand, and then to be

Furtive Wings (poem)

I have written many things
And imagined many dreams
Given ideas furtive wings
Just to see what they might bring

2/6/19

Lord of Love (poem)

Christ alone, the Lord of love
Can overflow my heart enough
To wash away all fear and doubt
And make me joy to live without
These weak, small things that humans love
But all which pale against God's love

Notes to Self (poem)

I write so many notes to self
They mean a lot to me
To point out all I need to do
And be so honestly
Perhaps my prayers seem strong about
My abandoning
All that stands 'tween me and God
But that is no bad thing

Prayers for the New Year 009 (poem)

Once I was a little girl
I longed for certain things
A writer's pen, a perfect love
A heart that always sings
I write the words, I open mouth
Praise pours out in streams
But God above, that perfect love
And thanksgiving I need
So I pray again today
Please do this work in me

love bears (poem)

love bears upon her wings
the light of God that sees
the clearest vision brings
and conquers dark in me

The Path to Joy (poem)

The path to joy
Leads to the throne
The greatest love
The world has known
We enter in
By earnest praise
By seeing good
And giving thanks
What good to me
Is feeling pain
And only looking
When it rains
I also need
The glorious sun
I fix my sight
And so I run

small bird sings (poem)

a small bird sings
and does not ask
if others care
about this task

2/7/19

hence (poem)

consequences—logic
sequences of events
that which flows
from seed it grows
recompenses

we hope (poem)

we hope
though life is hard, we hope
though times are rough, we hope
we live, we learn, we sometimes earn
through steadfast faith
desire that burns
fulfilling of our hope

steady me through (poem)

I drink my tea
it's good for me
and then survey
the world I see
the heat is welcome
full and warm
steady me through
the coming storm

the balm (poem)

God my strength in trial
and God my help in pain
the balm amidst my sorrow
comfort my heart again

the gold (poem)

"buy of Me gold"
we see treasure untold
but tried in the fire
and the trials unfold

for we are the gold
in flames purified
'til we gleam and we shine
a light none can hide

2/9/19

moments of joy (poem)

moments of joy
find homes in my heart
I visit betimes
to breathe, then restart

2/11/19

enter in (poem)

joy in You the whole day through
the keys are praise and gratitude
I kneel, I pray, in heart always
and enter in Your Presence' gates

this cup of tea (poem)

tea will warm me when I'm cold
seems to reach right down to soul
I've heard this feeling in my hands
like touch my body understands
imitates the tenderness
of loving arms and faithfulness
there's no one here but only me
my loving God, and this cup of tea

Prayers for the New Year 010 (poem)

love, take root in my heart
and mercy within me sing
let forgiveness run in my veins
and thanksgiving be my wings

(haiku for tears)

crying under eaves
like in the secret garden
someone's lonely pain

2/12/19

to someone else (poem)

For F and Y

bits and pieces of myself
they don't belong to someone else
I give my broken heart away
in whole not part, that is my way

fill (poem)

For F and Y

build me up on broken pieces
from ruins does the city rise
fill my heart and fill my vision
for you are great within my eyes

sweetness (poem)

sweetness lies
in pleasant things
the grateful heart
what kindness brings
the giving hands
the warm embrace
compassion swift
and not misplaced
a listening ear
a heeding heart
sweetness borne
in every part

reconcile (poem)

For F and Y

a token of my trust
despite the stains of rust
new oxygen will breathe
in you and out of me

2/13/19

tea's promise (poem)

the promise of tea
sometimes carries me
as far as I go
for the foretaste I know

2/14/19

day for love (poem)

a day for love, and love is kind
love gives thanks with all the mind
love sees what is best in you
and thinks on that in rosy hue

catch me (poem)

For F and Y

catch me
I won't hide away
can't find me yet
or not today
tomorrow
I will come to you
catch me, love
I want you to

Foretaste (poem)

a foretaste of His perfect peace
those moments despite everything
when all is well and I feel strong
when God has planned, I go along
the trials come, but I can pass
with song on lips, a painless class
contentment fills me sweet and warm
and I survive the raging storm
with faith that morning light will come
and all is well when said and done
this peace, what must perfection be!
if this is earth and heaven I see?

Prayers for the New Year 011 (poem)

my limbs awake
my eyes go fresh
as tea sinks in
to morning flesh
I raise my cup
and drink to You
please carry me
and guide me through

2/15/19

To Look Beyond (poem)

Hope is the prerogative of all
To look beyond the headwinds of the squall
To see the vision of the storm's last breath
And even see beyond its final death
Hope for joy beyond and glorious light
To fix our gaze on heaven is our right

the light of the Son (poem)

remember the light
and take hold of the Son
a lamp that will keep you
we've barely begun
the road may seem long
but it's nothing when done
the pain and dark vanish
in light of the Son

2/16/19

ten thousand years (poem)

For F and Y

I could wait ten thousand years, and never will I find
another one like you have been to heart and to my mind
no one compares to my first love or all that you have meant
my partner, team mate, family member, and my true best friend
I could wait ten thousand years, and never will it end
that I will wait with hope and need for you to return again

2/19/19

brighter visions (poem)

the morning quiet soothes
my fierce spirit
still reeling from nighttime dreams
the dreams of day are softer
brighter visions glow
I reach for glory now

castles grow (poem)

bold and bright
the day grows light
and castles grow
within my sight
their spires rise
and towers fly
above the earth
and in the sky

love the Lord (poem)

love the Lord with all your heart
through the very deepest parts
with every single breath you take
and every choice you have to make
love Him for He died for you
if you draw near, He'll carry you

2/20/19

how they turn (poem)

look at the clocks, how they turn
their hands run down to the sea
the skies overhead, how they learn
the seasons and annums to please

love like this (poem)

soft, gentle, tender
jewel-like rare
the love like this
in the face of every pain
of every flaw
true love's like this

catch me the sun (poem)

hey, catch me the sun down
blazing bright like wishes
burn inside my visions
we fly into the heavens

2/21/19

oasis (poem)

water for a thirsty soul
the desert sings and flowers bloom
beneath this burning sun so bright
oasis in the midst of night

2/24/19

the bustle (poem)

the hustle, the bustle
the scurry, the hurry
trust in the Lord and
you don't have to worry
commit to His hands
all the chores you must do
and watch as He makes you
a way just for you

2/25/19

the light of day (poem)

the light of day
becomes, renews
it fills my sight
it warms me through
I keep my gaze
fixed on the Son
and in so doing
the day is won

like sunrise (poem)

hope in the morning
like streaks of the sunrise
burning through daylight
across the bright sky
like this, it burns in me
my hope for the journey
across the expanse of
my awakening mind

My Parts (poem)

I am more than the sum of my parts
The fire inside me that burns through the dark
The light in my eyes and the visions I see
The logical thinking, the softness of dreams
The memories of pain, the wounds I bear still
The conflict avoidance and hard iron will
The things that I want and the things that I need
Comingled and scattered throughout all of me
These are my parts that I hold out to You
I'm mirrors and masks that I know You see through
There's more to my questions, the cries of my pain
Than just what I utter or show on my face
There's more to my failings, an ocean of flaws
You will not remove them from my iron jaws
Until I release them all fully to You
And that's what I ask You to help me to do

a letter to my brain (poem)

this is a letter to my brain:
a reminder that I have things to do
and a note that you are my faithful tool
so loyal be and do as I ask
lend yourself to every task
logically turn through analysis
handle my reading and parsing it
open up thoughts I stashed on a shelf
draw right conclusions and follow the path
revealing like yarn that certain way
that troubles rolled through and left their mark
I've things to do, so wake up and get on it

call me crazy (poem)

call me crazy if you want to
if you need to
if it makes you feel all right
if it helps you
know that you are
not crazy at this time
it's okay that we see
differently
it's okay that we are
different, see
it's okay if you need to be right
tonight

2/26/19

goodbye (poem)

For F and Y

save me a bit of love
your heart overflows
remember me forever, friend
and all that we were

serenade (poem)

love me when the birds sing
and I will sing with them
to serenade your heart, love
until our hearts are full

warm (poem)

warm and bright, the morning sun
draws me from my warm, dark bed
a cup of tea warm in my hands
awakens thoughts and gives them wings

like the swallow (poem)

I feel things you don't understand
and sometimes that means moving slowly
like an old woman
sometimes my feet fly
like the swallow skip-hopping over the earth
his joyful feathers rustling blue
just before he flies

where you are (poem)

the light is warm where you are
I want to stand so near
draw me close, remember
I've loved you always, dear

know you (poem)

dear to me, the softest glance
hidden away in your eyes
warmly cherished, the gentle touch
your embrace, or word of the wise
I know your voice on a summer's day
your breath in the winter chill
I feel I shall know you for always
and after forever still

tripping over whispers (poem)

quietly
tripping over whispers
they move within my wake
the light comes through the break
between the slats in the walls
windows to my would
I look at you
you stare at me
there's something beating beneath this skin
I feel you moving deep within
where I've taken and hidden
the best parts of you and memories inside
there's more than whispers
to trip over
more than love to now remember
aching in my chest
where all the things we ever were
are whispering now

in my sense (poem)

For N

night time
I remember feeling you
breathing in the house with me
I didn't need to see you
or sit beside you
I felt you
like a candle light burning
in the senses of my brain
and knew that you were there
it warmed and soothed me
brought me comfort
as I fell asleep again

2/27/19

Prayers for the New Year 012 (poem)

Good morning, God, the day is new
I'd like to live today for You
Please cleanse my heart of all but good
And help me do the things I should
Please lead me through the trials of day
And guide me that I may obey
I pray for strength to walk in light
Please help me keep You in my sight
I thank You, God, that You love me
I pray to serve You faithfully

fell down again (poem)

I fell down again
so often, so much
and yet, You still love me
my heart You still touch

heart is loud (poem)

I feel quiet
my heart is loud
can you hear it beating
or feel it pound?
the moon is bright
and the day so far
I lie down
think of where you are

are we shadows (poem)

are we shadows
cast upon the canvas
where life is pale and white
until the light
of God's imagination
brightens up behind us
and here we are
required to shine

2/28/19

yellow blossoms (poem)

yellow blossoms
bright in bloom
feel the love
within the room
a father's touch
a hard-won smile
their beauty shines
for a long while

(haiku for cold)

morning cup staves off
crackling eaves, frosted panes,
wind's bite and fog's chill

(haiku for tea)

smooth, warm, mellow heat
vanilla melts light honey
into ginger's bite

(haiku for mountains)

mountains and raindrops
I can run between under
trees piney and tall

I was a child (poem)

I was a child once
you were there
you saw me in the woods
beyond the river
nestled near the mountainside
remember the blue sky
the evergreen trees
the roads whipped by
the crying winds and breezes
I remember the night
warm as an embrace
tucked up in my bed
listening to the wind

under my belt (poem)

the end of a long, hard month
work under my belt, a mind like a hammer
clunking away at troublesome nails
I've been fine of mornings
unpleasantly tired, my heavy limbs
under a lively, working brain
in the evenings, I cry for weariness
sleep, then begin again

morning calls (poem)

silent nights
morning calls
the bells that chime
those predawn hours
calling me
to greet the day
and find again
my working way

my weary heart (poem)

remember me this twilight
I'm praying under the eaves
that God may rest my weary heart
and finally grant me peace

nothing hurts (poem)

find me waiting
nothing hurts
I don't remember
why it could
ignore the pain
bright on my face
grant me this
a moment's grace

day's still young (poem)

sweetness on my tongue
the day's still young
I wait as the spinner rounds
it's curling bend
I look from the beginning
and see the end

its spinning (poem)

call me crazy
I want the world to stop its spinning
around me like a turning dial
making me dizzy, never reaching a destination
why does it spin and spin and never go
I think I'm not the one who'll ever know

light of Christ (poem)

"That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world." — John 1:9 NKJV"

golden bright
God's love and light
that lives within
I fix my sight
that inward glow
the truth that frees
when it becomes
all my eye sees

with patience run (poem)

Habakkuk 2:3, Hebrews 12:1, John 8:32

the promises of God are guaranteed
have patience, run the race until you're freed
when what has waited long is due to come
it will not linger then; you will become

child of God (poem)

John 10:34-36

the child does not wish to always linger
near the parent's loving watchful eye
neither do we humans wish to wander
only on the paths the heavens devise
yet can we say the child is more wise

the child does not learn to say, I thank you
because the parent needs to hear it said
nor do humans look to God with gratitude
to serve a dire need inside His head
even God gave thanks when He was fed

the child wants to go on great adventures
to walk, to run, even though they fall
neither from our growth will God restrain us
but guide us through the pains that find us all
what child should be trapped behind a wall

for child must become one day like parent
strong and capable, as full of grace
so man must also grow to be like Father
it is the destination of our race
and could we be like gods, what lower place
would the child choose to always stay

(haiku for the light)

John 1:9

Christ the light inside
burns a sun in every cell
life that sparks and shines

March 2019

3/1/19

another day (poem)

a brand new month, again, I say
it's time to start another day
I did not wake at morning's light
but I'll make ready and leave the night

pour it out (poem)

empty out the bitterness
pour it out like undrunk tea
drain your heart of what's not love
that is what I say to me

a better place (poem)

the world could be a better place
if we all gave each other grace
remembered love when we were hurt
it soothes our heart and might do good
in those we feel have hurt us so
sometimes they don't even know

3/2/19

to run to the light (poem)

give me one reason
to run to the light
to bask in its glow
to slough off the night

let bright morning wake me
and nest in my heart
let joy flutter boldly
sprout wings and embark

love is a (poem)

love is a morning cup of tea
hot and waiting just for me
love is a hug when needed most
right when pain has invaded the coast
my borders quake, my heart's in need
by the arms of love it's freed
love is the laughter sweet and warm
of family together through the storm
love is my treasure, held so close
impossible to overdose
love is the pleasure of company
of one who knows the realest me

everything (poem)

For A. C.

music from the soul
the body sings
with every nerve and cell
and depth of feeling
hear and mark it well
and then give everything

do you understand (poem)

do you understand the endless love
shown to us by God and by His Son
Christ who gave up everything for us
God who watched His only child die
what parent does not know the deepest pain
is one that falls upon their precious child
for us God went through this and in His love
reconciled us to Him again

Christ alone (poem)

Christ alone the power over sin
to conquer all temptation born within
to do the things I know I'd rather not
and feel and be a person that I oughtn't

Christ alone the love that overcomes
all history of sin and every wrong
the weight of things that burdened me so long
if I forgive, it's 'cause He made me strong

and if I love, it's 'cause He loved through me
and if I praise, it is by Christ's strengthening me
and if I'm pure, it's 'cause He made me free
for Christ alone like whom I want to be

tiny little pieces (poem)

I feel like I will fall apart in tiny little pieces
I feel like you should know that I am crying out for real and
wish that you would care if I will break apart and fragile
whisper through my choking tears, I hide my pain inside me

3/3/19

pretend (poem)

we get tea
we pretend to be
okay
I keep on praying
for my life
for dear life
I watch it go
in winds that blow

everything hurts (poem)

everything hurts but all is well
is that the thing they say to me
they don't all say that everything hurts
they don't all say that all is well
but somehow that's what comes to me
out of the words and out of the noise
that falls from the lips of a world in pain
my heart keeps beating, step by step
on through the world as I must do
if this is what it is to be
a member of humanity
then pray, dear God, please set me free!

my bruises (poem)

somebody salve my bruises
somebody soothe my heart
is there balm in Gilead
tell me where you are
I need You, God my Father
to bind up the wounds I bear
wherever Your peace and love lives
my God, please take me there

mercy hidden (poem)

every ache and every bruise
it feels like just another ruse
another dose of painful truths
washed under false beliefs we choose
there's something here deep under skin
to the things we see akin
but different from its core within
I cannot end where I begin
the truth I find beneath the pain
is like the clouds above the rain
and all the way to the seas again
mercy hidden, naught in vain

just one (poem)

For F and Y

one thing, just one
is that enough
to breathe you in
and know there's nothing more
beyond a quickly shutting once bright door
but I would not give up
the joy I had

tears (poem)

grant me tears then let them breathe
don't let them take all over me
I fall beneath the rising waves
but I will swim and rise again

have not done (poem)

all the things I have not done
and all the reasons why
are not enough to make me quit
or e'en to make me cry
this life is hard and tough sometimes
I carry on despite

It Grows (poem)

Hope is the sort of things that grows on you,
not on trees, but in your heart
where all the things you love grow
and all the things you cling to
and all the things you put on yourself
like the fairytales of your youth
and the visions in your head
and the things you do and do and do
no matter what you want instead.

3/4/19

Prayers for the New Year 013 (poem)

Good morning, God
Forgive my heart
I pray You help me
Expel the dark
And purify
My deepest soul
Cleanse my thoughts
Heal me whole

dawn crowned victor (poem)

spring is just around the bend
even stormy winters end
even dark gives way to light
and dawn crowned victor with no fight

3/5/19

is bright (poem)

brightness fills my vision
like hope, the sun is bright
burning doubt away
at last we see the light

infinite scroll (poem)

"The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light." — Matthew 6:22 KJV

blur of things that I must do
scrolling through my mind
down, reload, they flood on in
a truly infinite line
and at the top, stuck on the page
the header of it all
keep my eyes fixed on the Lord
not on the daily squall

pills (poem)

too many pills
not enough joy
thank you, I pray
that I'm still alive

I'm sure that my day
will improve if I praise
it's better than pills
but for those too, give thanks

3/6/19

yesterday (poem)

yesterday is over
though it did not shine so bright
yesterday is over
and gone with it, the night

like a cat (poem)

the morning chill arrives quietly
like a cat into my bed
and sits upon my feet
until I warm it up instead

Prayers for the New Year 014 (poem)

dear God, I pray
please guide my way
in all that I
must do today
show me clearly
what to do
and grant me strength
to make it through
perfect my thoughts
and cleanse my heart
I give today
right from the start

what hope (poem)

what hope have we
if God not be
the loving Father
we've thought to see
great hope invades
my heart with joy
for love is proved
by the cross employed

for what but love
would die for us
in such a manner
and bear our scars
what love but God's
could be enough
to sin encompass
and overcome

3/7/19

missing you (poem)

For N

missing you
I catch my breath
an ache so sharp
I have to rest
in memories
I think of you
wish you were here
I still love you

3/8/19

with hope (poem)

winters more
prolong the days
I wait with hope
for springtime warmth
the light that shines
like candles in me
a memory of sun
I wait, I breathe

in streams (poem)

catch me where the light falls down
in streams upon this quiet room
and feel me where the water breathes
in and out, it flows through me
I open hands, I feel like rain
there is no end to moving on
always forward, however long

unbroken (poem)

For A.S.

I am not broken
though you reckoned me so
you counted on the pieces
left on a pale blue floor
you did not count the way I stood
wavering in my broken strength
and stood before through the blood
I did not fall again

you think you know (poem)

For K and T

we try
you think you know our names
and cry
over our memories
and do not understand the flames
that burned us down to nothing 'til
we built ourselves back up again
I remember something
buried in the heart of me
a core I cannot see but only feel
and that is where the you that was
still lives
and that is where the me that was
has gone
you cannot bring me back again
by letting the name that's on your lips
belong to someone, me
that lost it long ago

3/12/19

bless me (poem)

bless me in the morning
with a share of strength
and Christ the light within me
I pray Your joy bequeath
and may Your wisdom guide me
Lord, grant me ears to hear
a heart that understands You
and power to obey

the dam breaks (poem)

the dam breaks
the flood behind
my mouth and lips and heart
no longer hides
and I might break
beneath the flood
but I will put
my hand in God's

light hearts (poem)

family games
light hearts, light smiles
before the evening comes

3/13/19

lies my heart (poem)

in little pieces
lies my heart
the day grows cold
the storm is dark
above the storm
the eagle rides
and on God's wings
God's hope abides

where my heart lies (poem)

For F and Y

I love you where my heart lies
give rest to my affection
make room for me, I pray you
where your own heart beats

spring is come (poem)

spring is come
the cold, wet winds
blow snow, bring ice
green leaves

when did you stop (poem)

For R and Y

when did you stop with love?
you loved me once
with black eyes full of whispered feelings
like fish fleeting through the water's depths
quick, alive, unceasing
but here you are, your heart grown cold
when did you stop with love?
what have I said or done
to still your heart's blood?

3/14/19

morning prayers (poem)

morning, moments
wash over me
praying, once more

3/16/19

lines drawn bright (poem)

we move in circumscribed circles
lines drawn bright on world sands
moved by the force of imagination
and driven by whips in our own hands

first love (poem)

having the form but not the power
every day, the duty to love
married to God, a once-strong fervor
remember your heart and chase that joy
remember the days you chased another
chase again and bloom once more

fixed (poem)

fix it in my mind, the words we hear
give me ears, my God, that really hear
I open up my eyes to fix on You
guide me, Christ my God, with Christ light true
fix my wand'ring heart, anchored on You

before His wisdom (poem)

what can you say that God does not know
you can't amaze Him no matter how far you go
open up your eyes and a true listening ear
sit before His wisdom and live it out here

perfect scribe (poem)

who can read from an unclear hand
and who can hieroglyphics truly understand
seek, consult the wisdom of a Perfect Scribe
the keeper of all knowledge, seek His Word to imbibe
heed the Wonderful Counselor with all your life

like candlelight (poem)

light in dark
glory shines
fills my heart
like candlelight
a cold wind blows
and storms may come
but I'll go on
as I've begun

these arbitrary lines (poem)

show me a map of the world
these arbitrary lines of loyalty
tell me at which borders
my love for others should cease
and where should the love of God
fail, rather than increase
stretch out Your hands of mercy
O great and sovereign God
remember Your hands have made us
and pour out forgiving love
teach the ignorant children
I pray that it be enough

forever will (poem)

forever will I love You
forever I will praise You
guard my heart from falseness
forever in Your hand

3/18/19

dreams (poem)

cold dreams
broken seams
spilling light
cries tonight
wake me when
sun comes again
and place warm dreams
within my hand

give me hope (poem)

give me hope
I need it now
fill my soul
with sunlit glow

3/19/19

now (poem)

the evening and the morning were the first day
now is the kind of word I like to say
for all that is old is done and has passed away
behold! now the new is come; behold a new day

when I was a child (poem)

when I was a child, each morning
was full of new possibilities
I took it on faith that my hope was secure
and so it became my reality
the light shines before me
the Christ leads the way
that I might enter eternity

blessed (poem)

I am blessed
you know the rest
for peace in God
is my sole rest
He leads me through
the painful test
let trusting Him
be what I do best

what I choose (poem)

color me something that isn't confused
is this the cup I'd like to have refused
is this the cross by which my heart bruised
can carry forth the kingdom? it is what I choose

set my eyes (poem)

Christ in me
the victory
I set my eyes
eternity

By His Strength (poem)

Holy God, the Lord of all
I hear His Word and answer call
Only by His strength and grace
I enter in with joy and praise

of unclean lips (poem)

set thanks down in my heart; let it take root
cleanse me of the fire, ash, and soot
let my lips fall silent, even mute
of anything unworthy, Lord, of You

unstoppered (poem)

I forgot what it was like to write a poem
until I unstoppered my heart
where has it been all this while
let the words fly forth like a dart

but a child (poem)

I am but a child, sovereign Lord
an infant guided forward by Your word
shivering in the silken tight cocoon
obliged to overcome for breathing room

a treat for me (poem)

tea! warm tea!
a treat for me!
it's even a
necessity

spilt (poem)

water spilt
mate splashed
shrug and drink
whatever's last
my struggles on
the Lord are cast

not painless (poem)

I have hope
I know that it hurts
but was the cross painless
do we cry at our birth
these trials shall deliver
a fire-tried reward

gold-sealed (poem)

should my heart ache
let it praise You
should my heart break
let it thank You
pour Your love in
broken cracks
seal them with a
gold that lasts

Prayers for the New Year 015 (poem)

I forgot a heart so full
I turn and offer prayers to You
and ask You empty out all doubt
replace it with a faith devout

embrace me with (poem)

For F and Y

hold me
embrace me with your violence if not your love
you used to look at me
like I was the sun
and not even clouds could block the light
you found a brighter sun to fill your sight
so I will beg your violence and your hate
if you'll just look at me
then I will wait

of firm decision (poem)

hope
the daughter of bright vision
light
the joy of firm decision
to keep my eyes on You
whatever I walk through

am I a little (poem)

am I a little crazy?
maybe
even so
I have to know
and do the best I can

tell me there's hope (poem)

tell me there's hope for the weary
tell me there's rest for my soul
tell me there's peace for the restless
and healing is something I'll know

tell me there's love for my heartache
tell me there's joy for my night
salve me with light in the darkness
and bring me a morning that's bright

it'll all work out (poem)

right off the coast of this will work out
is the island of I think we've blown it
hang on with me and we'll make it work out
e'en if we had overflown it

recklessly you smile (poem)

For K and T

recklessly, you smile at me
it's all I need to see to breathe
I smile back and hold inside
the warmth of such a lovely sight

3/20/19

fire burned us (poem)

For F and Y

a moment, just a moment
let me breathe
did you forget you mean so much
to me
we used to be inseparable
indeed
even fire burned us
consistently
but now you're burning far away
from me

can't help but love (poem)

For F and Y

I love you in my memory
I love you for eternity
No matter all the games we play
The fights, the insults that we say
Still I cannot help love you
Forever always, this is true

repurpose (poem)

repurpose
a grand design
can change
I am proof
it is not strange

move me like (poem)

For F and Y

move me like you moved the world
to make more room for me
enter into my heart, unfurled,
and wrap yourself in me
I love you like the dance that whirled
together you and me

wrapped (poem)

For F and Y

gotta wrap my head around this
gotta wrap my heart around you
its beating is going too fast
in the brightness of you

3/21/19

(haiku for robins)

robins prance across
asphalt—twittering birdsong
rustles the new leaves

white spring (poem)

spring is come, they say
I stare at the white, white world
and the bright yellow sun
that's shining on the ice—
yes, our spring has come

wash me away (poem)

wash me away like I'm crying
look up to the heavens, we're flying
the ngiht closes in, but we're waking
and ne'er we stop to be braking

to make sense (poem)

no one asked me to make sense
it feels too hard to try
but just hold on a little while
and don't ask reasons why

3/23/19

words words words (poem)

words words words—
they get buried in your soul,
and if they cannot make you whole,
does that stop them? do you know?

there are words, words, words.
and I heard it on the ground—
(where the pretty words are found)
—their power isn't stopped
when they do not make a sound.

and the words words words
that are burning in my soul—
(these are dangerous, you know)
—would that ever stop you? go!

the maker (poem)

point one: to the keeper
he knows his business right
he guards the door and holds the fort
until the morning light

point two: to the taker
who soars away in flight
the maker of these iron bars
has finally 'scaped the night

consider (poem)

For K

have you stopped to consider
your part in all this?
the ways that it ended
and the ways it begun
did you stop to consider
the legends we fashioned
the stories we told
and the myths that we spun?
my heart keeps on breaking
a pain that goes on
and just keeps going on
and just keeps going on
and all I can think
is the way it begun
in blood and in fire
we didn't see as wrong

Sonnet for God's Love (poem)

Good morning, God, I love You so
But You love me more than I know
Enough to send Your only Son
Even if I was all He'd won
I cannot understand this love
A mortal mind is not enough
To comprehend the mind of God
Nor comprehend the depths of Love
But should I hold my only child
So perfect in his every part
For these already lost and wild
Could I give away my heart?
The price to lose what I love most
Such love as this, my God can boast

a child's comfort (poem)

what is joy but God
a love to hold me close
I think of days long past
tucked safe in loving arms
my parent strong to hold
and keep me safe from harm
I am not that child
and know now many things
that parents cannot hold
nor e'en in love control
but in the arms of God
I am safe and sound
a child I still can be
and utterly at peace

3/24/19

that moment (poem)

that moment when
you drink too fast
you go too hard
and you make a mess

that moment when
the chips are down
the stakes are high
and you go to town

First Love (poem)

I love You, Lord; You love me more
I ask Your strength, a single heart
Help me keep my eyes on You
And love You first in all I do

3/25/19

to run (poem)

hope is the thing
that wakes me
today
will be different
it will drive me
to run
like the first of runners
to the joy
that is waiting for me

Clock Chimes (poem)

Clock chimes,
tells the time—
time to wake,
O friend of mine!

Yours the Hands (poem)

Thank You, God, O true provider!
You have known all things I need.
I will eat and taste Your goodness,
knowing Yours, the hand that feeds.
I will drink and taste of heaven,
knowing You have filled my cup;
when I fall and when I stumble,
know that You will help me up.
Yours the hands that came for me, Lord—
You the loving Father are.
Yours the heart that ever holds me;
I long to be wherever You are.

the prize (poem)

not my better days I can admit
the days I wept my heart out and a bit
the pain that bit me deep, I seemed to drown
I'll keep my eyes on You; it's worth the crown
to run through every trial and every tear
knowing at the end, the prize is near

ever with us (poem)

dishes, like taxes, ever with us
O when shall my freedom from dishes arrive!
I gird up my sleeves with a sigh and hoe in now
let's not hold our breath, for such a long time

workday morning (poem)

tea to drink and food to pack
dishes in a mighty stack
Lord, I give my day to You
please hold my hand and lead me through

repayment (poem)

come, you are no queen
look in the mirror
this world owes you nothing
but you'll repay
the deeds and thoughts and dreams
you've poured out in it
and reap again
when they come home to stay

Prayers for the New Year 016 (poem)

I may not be a queen, but I am God's
I give myself to Him and to His love
remake me, shape me, Lord, until I'm clean!
and shine like refiner's gold with holy gleam!

Prayers for the New Year 017 (poem)

Clean me up and wash me down
Make my heart Your hallowed ground
Hold me up and make me new
I pray Your grace: make me like You

3/26/19

to say (poem)

it seems to me I have a lot
perhaps too much to say
and get, if you should ask me then
I would be silent, there
is so much fraught and tense if I
must find the words to hold
my heart or mind or questions bright
I'd rather sit and hear

my silence (poem)

who would believe my silence
there are so many words, tripping together
across my wary tongue

make it good (poem)

everybody has their moments
try to make yours good
do not worry about judgment
or being understood
endeavor with your fullest strength
and do all that you would

scalding (poem)

scalding tea
vents of steam
like the feeling
inside me
open spout
and steam pour out
fill the cup
with all I got

like a small sun (poem)

For F and Y

like a small sun
you shine on the earth
where I can see you, feel you
where I can revolve around you
the warm bright planet
basking in your love

wisdom's children (poem)

wisdom loves her children
if you can choose a mother
choose the joys, rewards
that wisdom brings

a little bird sings (poem)

a little bird sings
in my heart
I breathe
there is promise
on my tongue

Note to Self 002 (poem)

rest in the joy of the Lord
open your heart up to sing
praise Him for all that He does
bringing good out of everything

Quiet My Heart (poem)

Quiet my heart back down
Down into peaceful rest
Let trust wash my soul into God
His arms hold me close through each test

3/27/19

Prayers for the New Year 018 (poem)

Christ, meet me in the morning,
awaken in my heart;
I pray You take Your throne,
renew my every part—
the mind, the soul, the person,
the choices I have made...
Help me make bright new ones,
walk always in Your ways!

dawn in my soul (poem)

the light shines
dawn in my soul
when I look to You
and You make me whole

hope light (poem)

hope light my soul
thrown over the walls
I once built to shelter my heart
candlelight glow
the visions and dreams
I cling to—bright shining, my hope

behind walls (poem)

I've been distant
behind walls
untouching, unreaching
trapped behind
my silent mouth

without a word (poem)

I think I like the stories
where people understand without a word
because I don't know how to talk to you
I don't want to play this for laughs
my heart's in my throat
I can't speak, I can't breathe
the question and answer, they pass

Adulting (poem)

I'm not a little girl anymore
best get doing
the clock is ticking
the hours drip down like sand

song in my heart (poem)

song in my heart
like a tiny bright bird
sing in the spring
in the winter, in summer
sing to the King
in all pain
in all joy

can't forget (poem)

For F and Y

my love is not in vain
you love me too
no matter what we feel
I can't forget you

fulfillment (poem)

fill me with hope to the brim
fill me, my cup overflows
one day, Your love that sustains me
shall wholly fulfill and remake me

3/28/19

Okay (poem)

I'm supposed to be okay...
Right?
Does it have to be this way—
All night,
Mem'ry claws through my mind,
And I
Can't seem to wake the light,
But
My God shall never leave me,
No,
My God shall ever keep me.
I
Will walk through night 'til morning,
And this
Will all passs like a dream

in your nearness (poem)

For A and W

my very bones shiver in your nearness
the heat of kisses against my skin
you stared at me in silences
my heart beat under the scrutiny
used to sniper scopes and dangerous intent
I turned your head another way
another angle, where we touch not look
and whisper words like promises
there is no one else like you
no one else I want to see this moment
I feel like something precious weaves
between us in our hands

between my hands (poem)

tea heats between my hands
my palms are warm with something like touch
something that sinks beneath my skin
I wonder what tenderness feels like
but no one takes my hand in theirs
I take no hand in mine
I wrap my palms around this cup of tea
and do not wait for another

the odd one (poem)

maybe I'm the odd one
or the odd one out
but nothing seems to pierce my skin about that
for I've always been "there's always one"
and there's nothing new to hurt

3/30/19

a single sunbeam (poem)

joy in even little things
beauty in such tiny wings
as the hummingbird that flies
or butterflies take to the skies
a single sunbeam's brightest gold
outshines the night, however bold
and lodges in my heart to stay
a small, light joy—mine for always

do answers (poem)

do answers await me
I keep silence
I wonder
but here, I do not speak
I wait and let another

sun in soul (poem)

light, a promise
sun in soul
joy in sorrow
with Christ I'm known
cast me not
from perfect light
grant Your mercy
faith, be sight

follow through (poem)

tell me something new,

something true

tell me what's a girl to do

to get through
I'll follow You.

there's a quiet voice inside—

I will hide

all my need and trust in You

pray anew,

follow through.

had I restrained (poem)

For K and M

did you ever think of me unless I asked?
I know so many times I took to task
but do not think that means I loved you less
no matter how much strength or stubbornness
were yours in all those moments, all those fights
the violent ends you used to put to rights
protect the ones I gave into your charge
sometimes it seemed the number was too large
had I restrained myself from sharing you
and kept your heart for mine and our friend too
would you have stayed for me when he was gone
and I'd not be alone for quite so long?

April 2019

4/1/19

to start the morning (poem)

a morning cup of tea
yes, that's the plan for me
joy in just a sip
pleasure in the deep
I feel it to my toes
doesn't everyone know
to start the morning right
just God and tea in sight

light me up (poem)

light me up: a robe of color
glamoured 'round my tembling limbs
breathe the colors of the sunrise
with heaven's glory, hem and trim
may my visions hold fast to me
that clothed in light, I may begin

4/3/19

Prayers for the New Year 019 (poem)

light and promises
morning visions
pray Your name
they see fruition
through the pain
I ask You keep
my heart from straying
my will from sleep

it's time (poem)

clock chimes
it's time
I rise
feel the light
sun root
its heart in me
raise my song
eternally

God is Good, The Father (poem)

The God of all the universe,
All power and majesty,
Takes the care and time to watch
Over one like me

The mess I've made of everything
Needs mercy constantly,
And all my pain is not yet gain—
Why love a one like me?

But God is good, the Father of
You and you and me:
He loves His children ever so,
Even one like me

4/5/19

enough to count (poem)

enough to count
hello, hello
my heart, it is enough
I do not fight
or e'en display
against some other one
enough to be—
to live, to thrive
hello, hello for me
my soul it is enough
I fly
and soar above myself

overflows for me (poem)

pour out a cup for me, for me
pour out a cup for me
remember me to my friends, and love
flows over the brim for me

from horizon's edge (poem)

golden light that warms the land
rising from horizon's edge
spreads across the deep blue sky
brightens morning star's white eye
look upon a newborn day
within my heart, I praise and pray

4/6/19

The Hole in my Heart (poem)

They say I am not grieving,
But is that so?
I say I am not grieving,
But I know
The hole in my heart still hurts—
I let it go.
And yet it does not leave,
Only outflow.

4/7/19

socks (poem)

mismatched socks
hidden by shoes
I need a spot of bright in my life
pink at the heels
pink at the toes
I wriggle my pink
that nobody knows

4/8/19

breakfast (poem)

water warm to take the scent
wash away, a step forewent
the taste is fine
I'm not that fussed
for a perfect meal, however sussed

mornings not so friendly (poem)

sisters care for sisters
I'm grateful still
despite my tried demeanor
and stubborn will
in mornings not so friendly
not until
I've shaken off the quiet
and had my fill

I am a planet (poem)

For F and Y

we shine
with a brightness that exceeds the heavens
I could drown in your love
like the stars in the sky
so you shine in my eyes
though the galaxies turn
around us in beauty
I stretch out my hands
draw them into your light
still you should know
I am a planet
and you are the sun
I hold in my sight

coming of the blood (poem)

I am many things, right now a mess
tell me we are kings, I don't believe
until my heart is cleansed beneath the flood
I must wait the coming of the blood

4/9/19

Prayers for the New Year 020 (poem)

morning joy
a cheerful song
the voice that moves
my heart along
please wake me out
of fitful sleep
and through this day
my heart-soul keep

things to do (poem)

things to do
I pray to You
the God of all
please break my fall
and guide my mind
and guide my hands
that I may run
and finally stand

means to me (poem)

sister precious
means to me
more than almost
anything
I thank You, Lord
for one like her
I pray love grow
crowd out all hurt

The House of Tap (poem)

The House of Tap
The way they moved
It's wrong they did not win
The silent moment
Just their taps
And every perfect spin

turn circles my heart (poem)

breathe
turn circles
my heart ever inward
composed of spiraling dances
cast off
my cares, my worries
lift my skirts and twirl
in joy
we join the dance

things I didn't know (poem)

wisdom sweet and bitter too
things I didn't know but do
hope to reach that coming day
when everything will be okay

4/10/19

an odd week (poem)

an odd week
the storm comes
the tide rolls
we hope to eat
it's all just
a case of timing—
without trial
what would we be?

4/11/19

this hope (poem)

For GP

we have this hope
that the God of all hope will comfort us
restore us to live and heal us—
for our hearts have been burdened with pain
He will relight them again

toward the throne (poem)

what we leave behind matters
not just in the end, but now
how we treat our friends matters
and how our enemies this hour

who we are inside matters
what we do when all alone
all we choose to be matters
let every deed a step be toward the throne

4/12/19

Meaningful (poem)

What is meaningful?
This feeling inside?
I hope for a promise—
Within me abide
The Word of my Father
The Light of His Christ
And glory eternal
Came into my life

4/13/19

that thing I wrote (poem)

that thing I wrote, why thank you so
I've written better, don't you know?
but truly I give thanks for you
for loving anything I do

4/14/19

springtime in colorado (poem)

the birds are back
the snow is too
I thought this was a spring milieu?
what happened here?
the fields in white
is such an odd, if pretty, sight

when all is quiet (poem)

wake me tomorrow
when all is quiet
when the snow is gentle
on the green grass below
when the stars are whispering
in bright chorus
and the sun has risen
with softest glow

cold days (poem)

cold days
I praise
though I wish
for other ways

should I wish
to overcome
then trials must go
and trials must come

catch me praying (poem)

catch me praying
catch me hoping
through the tears
the pain, the fears
I won't give up
rest a while
bear my strength
then rise to power

4/15/19

sun shine brighter (poem)

golden sunrise
joyous sun
shines in heart
a day begun

sun shine brighter
through each day
the light of that Son
reveals His way

in good company (poem)

joy is something precious
chosen in good company
in eyes set on the good things
showered out on me

as something new (poem)

For F and Y

warm me up
put arms around
my heart, where memory
can be found
the place where you
and I were born
as something new
no longer torn

please don't cry (poem)

little bird fly
but please don't cry
it hurts my heart
to hear you start

like glowing tides (poem)

light sweeps the heavens
like glowing tides wash the sand
until my heart is clean

give them room (poem)

green leaves, yellow blooms
open heart to give them room
show the words I cannot say
the gift to hold my love today

the whole way down (poem)

it scalds the whole way down
this life I live
the words another speaks
instead of gives
the hearts that burn near mine
and I can pray
but nothing quite reacts
to words I say

eyes so clear (poem)

For S and W

you are an open book to me
your eyes as clear as skies we see
the sun that rises when you see me
I barely understand but need
to know you hold me with your gaze
and give myself to you always

if friendship be true (poem)

thinking of you
if friendship be true
then you are the truest friend
with love in my heart
and right from the start
we'll be there beyond the end

you left (poem)

For F and Y

you left me
you left me alone
don't you know me?
you knew me once
you were there
when I felt betrayed
you were there
when I could not save
we promised
we would do all things
together
yet you left me

4/16/19

I had a dream (poem)

For N

I had a dream then I woke up
the day was warm, a warm full cup
my heart was full, my joy was sweet
because your love was still with me

where you find it (poem)

Tumblr, 5 lines

love is precious where you find it
when you find it, hold on tight
when the night comes, cling to love
when the day comes, spread your heart wide
let the love grow full inside

open (poem)

I'm open
my heart is open
the door is open just for you
come in now
enter in now
I've laid a welcome out for you
I love you
I will say it
let all know that I love you
I'm open
my soul is open
please come in and walk on through

I breathe (poem)

softly I breathe
in the morning air
new
it is what I need

everything hurts (poem)

everything hurts
I hope, I need
everything hurts
I ache, I bleed
the hours pass
the days are full
I cry my heart
what should I do

the bridge (poem)

For C and D

water under the bridge
you're water under the bridge
you were the flood I drowned in
before you went over the edge
now I'm walking the river
and going over the bridge
you did not burn it with fire
but you're water under the bridge

page load (poem)

impersonate
another one
and wait until
page load is done
how long, how long!
I seem to wait
yes, just how long
will this thing take?

4/17/19

support (poem)

Tumblr, 5 lines

fight me, she says
just a little thing
cheerful and ready to go
surrounded by warriors and strong men
behind her just daring you to

keep me moving (poem)

slow start today
I stop to pray
please keep me moving
but in Your way

the busy bees (poem)

the busy bees
together—hear!
the mighty roar
of buzzing breeze
conversations rise like haze
of pollen—swells
just like the seas

move my heart (poem)

For F and Y

move my heart
it feels like stone
but even mountains move
I feel you here
I'm not alone
there's nothing left to prove

4/18/19

rejoicing in newness (poem)

For A

bright mornings, new days
new reasons to praise
I'm alive, I'm awake
new choices to make
I'm praying, I'm hoping
and I'm giving thanks
rejoicing in newness
as yet, no mistakes

love your enemies (poem)

have you thought about love?

instead of hate

have you thought about prayer?

and patient, wait

have you considered all?

that you could do

to reconcile others

as you should do

bring me to rest (poem)

evening falls
the close of day
it always seems to be this way

I trust in You
who carried through
and brought me to
my rest—I stay

all the peace (poem)

night closes her curtains around
my sleepy eyes and sleepy mind
within the arms of God my Father
is all the peace that I could hope to find

This is Hope (poem)

hope can be a quiet thing
the simple beating of my wings
trust that I will stay afloat
that I am loved—yes, this is hope

4/20/19

the gentle chimes (poem)

Tumblr, 4 lines

hear the bells
the gentle chimes
ringing out
ungentle times

glory in my eyes (poem)

glory turns like golden skies
when heaven's light stays in my eyes
when heaven's crown, the holy prize
remains my aim and at all times

Prayers for the New Year 021 (poem)

God, I pray You cleanse my heart
change my longest lived desires
that only You might light the fires
that burn where all my visions start

Prayers for the New Year 022 (poem)

hold me in Your love
forgive me for my failings
draw me with Your mercy
and cleanse me by Your healing

4/23/19

so many things (poem)

Tumblr, 4 lines

I feel so many things right now
the pain of knowing that somehow
I must rise, though I might break
this is why I am awake

4/24/19

Kings (poem)

Tumblr, 5 lines

kings in their own country
emperors here in ours
we dance to the beat
of the rhythm—a treat
and the music takes root in our hearts

that morning glow (poem)

Tumblr, 8 lines

golden mornings
vivid skies
orange like fire
blue like night
stars above
that morning glow
my heart so warm
and full below

I take my rest (poem)

Tumblr, 8 lines

evening comes
I take my rest
poured out now
like this is best
the void my heart
be filled with You
'til coming day
like light shines through

a joyful thing (poem)

Tumblr, 8 lines

hope is a joyful thing
that gives me wings
I feel it in my chest
when I take rest
like butterflies that rise
when my heart cries
and I will not let go
'til joy I know

love is the sort (poem)

Tumblr, 4 lines

love is the sort of things that burns inside
no matter how deep the roots will grow and hide
it's more affection waters that they thrive
and selfless works the sun where they abide

because of You (poem)

I am grateful for Wednesdays
so full—I'll make it through
because of You

like candles (poem)

light shines like candles
my heart is bright
with the gleam of a thousand verses
that shining light
the Word made flesh within me
and in my sight
visions of holy splendor
beloved Christ

Pillar (poem)

raise the banner high
I do not want to cry
I want to see Your light
shining through my night

like fire, pray, come down
and cover, hallow ground
that I might follow You
the whole way out and through

I Will Trust (poem)

this is a good thing
remind me:
this is a hope thing
don't fail me
I will trust in everything
that You will come through

where my hope grows (poem)

tell me where the wind blows
I need to feel its breath
tell me where my hope grows
its width, its height, its depth
I feel the Spirit in me
across the inner sea
there I plant my promise
one my God gave to me

4/25/19

Prayers for the New Year 023 (poem)

kiss me with the light of day
right upon my heart, I pray
and cleanse me with Your perfect fire
let it burn—my heart's desire
fill my vision full until
my eyes are set upon Your will

(haiku for joy)

Tumblr, 3 lines

joy is letting go
earth—falling up into sky—
wings spread, heart alight

(haiku for wind)

Tumblr, 3 lines

wind rush by the fields,
the home—rattled glass, my heart
beating with its flow

cleansing my heart (poem)

I breathe in the light of a new day
let it root in my veins and my arteries
beat in my blood with its purity
cleansing my heart in Your mercy

joy come back (poem)

Tumblr, 7 lines

blossoms of hope
bright flowers
I think of you and love
bright bowers
of joy shining above me
once
joy come back to me

collect myself (poem)

Tumblr, 7 lines

collect myself,
my scattered pieces,
off the floor—
I dropped them good.
hold out hands and open breezes
from my heart
will blow right through.

4/26/19

in His hand (poem)

like a sparrow, in God's hand
so for this I try to stand
for all the arrows aimed at me
cannot harm if He is for me

Prayers for the New Year 024 (poem)

morning comes; I wake
I offer up my heart
I fix my gaze on You
Lord, show me what to do

write the book (poem)

write me a story
engraved on my soul
the beginning is history
and history is known
the ending is open
and I want to see
the end of the journey
unfolding for me

I hurt, I cry (poem)

I hurt, I cry—
there are reasons why
don't talk about
and don't find out
the word is gone
out from my soul
I've hurt so long
don't want to know

am I supposed to breathe (poem)

am I supposed to breathe
in all these reasons
and find a way to maintain
through all these seasons
and somehow must sustain
the life I'm living
find some ounce of strength
to keep on giving

creed of the hundredth (poem)

I'm quiet and in need
though I have not forgot my creed
seems to me I went astray
and pray don't lose my way
fall down and then get up
overflows the Christian's cup
but never lie down still
or give up that holy will
until the light shall fill

4/27/19

quake (poem)

For C.

I am burning up inside
shall you quake before my light?
so certain I am strong
but that I don't belong
you plow me with your power
stand up in your ivory tower
confident at peak
that compared to you, I'm weak
but feel the light of fire
as I wreak my bright revenge
and hurt when I shall crush you
for some things never change
I am burning up inside
and you cannot stem the tide
nor open my eyes wide
when you wake me by your pride
I will cast you from your tower
I will shake the earth with rage
I will overcome your power
maul, destroy your gilded cage
there is nothing else in sight
now then quake before my light

wait for love (poem)

For C

love is a word I taught myself
in hopes of something missing now
I guard, protect, care, deflect
surely that's why they give respect
I wait for love but give it out
as though it's all that I'm about
it never comes, this love I need
though I brand it as my creed
until the day they do betray
and at last I walk away

Quarter 001. break me down (poem)

break me down
to my bones
build up
anew

Quarter 002. wrap me up (poem)

wrap me up
pour in love
and fill
me full

Quarter 003. destruction (poem)

destruction
creation
two sides
one coin

4/28/19

I need You (poem)

I am not always wise
so I need You
I am not always bright
so please shine through
sometimes my heart is aching
I beg, renew
the light inside my soul
and make me new

4/30/19

love is the warmth (poem)

love is the warmth of a brand new morning
a note of love from one held dear
the joy in finding and holding and keeping
close in your heart, and also near
hope is the knowing that you'll be together
day after day and year after year

Quarter 004. heart in mouth (poem)

cold as north
warm as south
my heart
in mouth

Quarter 005 (poem)

joy in Christ
life in Light
bright dawn
leaves night

touch gently (poem)

softly
I tread with soft feet
and soft hands
touch gently
quietly I wait
answers bubbling
inside of you
not ready to come out

we move; I speak (poem)

For K and N (C8)

we move; I speak
just take a peek
into my heart
into my world
come within
I can't come out
lean in my friend
close to my mouth
I have to whisper
I cannot shout

a game of love (poem)

challenge me to a game of love
drive me to thanksgiving of
the kindest depth and deepest kind
available to heart or mind

my weary heart, it bleeds (poem)

For N

my weary heart—it aches, it bleeds
there's so much now that my soul needs
I need the love I gave to you
within my heart to warm me through

May 2019

5/1/19

In Christ (poem)

NB, 12 lines

In Christ my joy
In God my peace
In love my hope
May it never cease

In hope my light
In Spirit my hope
In praise my lifeline
Unbreakable rope

In joy I praise
In peace I sing
I hold to Christ
To God I cling

That I May Love (poem)

NB, 4 lines

Christ, my love be in sore need
I pray Your love for humanity
Grow deep and wide and true in me
That I may love with constancy

(haiku for morning)

NB, 3 lines

morning breaks the night
in fractured pieces—mirrored
dreams give way to light

a gentle friend (poem)

NB, 4 lines

night closes in, a gentle friend
soothing all my nerves—alone again
snuggled in the warmth of comfy bed
spending time with You and words instead

5/2/19

don't fly away (poem)

NB, 6 lines

hello, new year!
don't fly away
so quick, so fast
keep new days near
and hold my hand
don't disappear
before my work is done

love is the tie (poem)

NB, 4 lines

love is the tie that binds
the wandering child to its home
and draws me back again no matter
how far the heart may roam

Prayers for the New Year 025 (poem)

Isaiah 55:8-9

God, to You my heart commends the impending day
I bow my head, that wandering heart, and with my spirit pray
keep me from the path of fear and help me not to stray
I want to walk this day in love and in Your higher way

dappled (poem)

For D and C

we move
the light
dances across our skin
like the shadows
dappled
dance behind it
and here
your hands
are tangled in mine
and I whisper
your name
you're mine

5/4/19

pretend that all is well (poem)

put on your face, put on your smile
it needs must last for quite a while
go out there and shine so bright
and this is the important step
whatever else, just don't forget
pretend that all is well
no matter how it hurts, I say
pretend that all is well

the masquerade can only thrive
if we could play with all our lives
commit to it and make it truth
with all the mph of 'passioned youth
whatever else, just make it so
pretend that all is well
and never let another know
pretend that all is well

I cannot recommend this path
but I have walked it 'til I can't
pretend that all is well
until my heart has nothing left
pretend that all is well

too many! (poem)

too many pills—

too many!

maybe I'll cry—

too many!

maybe I'll try—

just maybe—

to do something else.

too many!

(haiku for tea)

joy inside my cup
dark and warm with roasted tea
against cold weather

interests (poem)

I am a girl of simple interests—
stories, dance, cats, and tea,
words unfolding like a yarn
guide to lead me forward

(haiku for hope)

hope comes in pieces
greater in their wholeness—a
vision—than each part

5/5/19

I am golden (poem)

I am golden like the sun
passerby, the game is won
while I look in golden glow
impassive, yes, I told you so

5/6/19

Prayers for the New Year 026 (poem)

All these things to do!
God, please help me through
It all; keep me with You!
My heart love please renew!

spilt spaghetti (poem)

don't cry over spilt spaghetti

(I cried)

hang on to your composure

(I tried)

praise the One Who loves you

(He died—

but did not cease His praising

of God)

by surprise (poem)

joy can take you by surprise
if you choose to live with open eyes
then look for joy in tiny things
and find in all your hidden blessings

good morning, world (poem)

good morning, world
good day to you
I'll see you as I'm passing through
I thank my God
for all of you
and pray one day He'll make you new

5/7/19

A Way Before Me (poem)

Thank You, God, for quiet mornings,
Brand new days in which You live
You have made a way before me
All Your love, You always give
Help me, Lord, to walk within it
To love, give thanks, and to forgive

pictured artwork (poem)

For U.LA.

joy in motion
name of gold
pictured artwork
living bold

like the light (poem)

For E and A

grace and beauty like the light
a waterfall of colors bright
they move like breezes, swaying trees
rustling their newborn leaves
watch them blossom, cherry blooms
warm the hearts within the room

I trust (poem)

I don't know what to do
I trust in You
the God of all that lives
can get me through
You will not leave me helpless
I trust You

my heart must (poem)

moments when my heart must praise You
though the mind may disagree
in this moment, I will thank You
for the answer I don't see

5/8/19

may the love (poem)

morning beckons
bright new day
may the love
of God hold sway
may my heart
walk in Your way
and cleanse my soul
make pure always

before the dawn (poem)

little birds sing
it is still dark
for morning's sun has come
within their hearts

one of those things (poem)

hope is one of those things
where light burns in the dark
where candled hearts keep shining
keeping sending up their sparks
where prayers become the incense
and fervent selfless love
opens doors of heaven
and pours out from above

5/9/19

Prayers for the New Year #026 (poem)

Good morning, God, You're always there
There for me and always care
I'm sure I don't deserve Your grace
Having been of human race
I've fallen down again, again
Forgotten You have saved me, then
Forgotten who I'm s'posed to be
And yet, You've not forgotten me
Could any but eternal love
Divine and holy, tried and true
Ever hold to me enough
Through all my failing to get through
I cry for mercy, praise Your grace
Before Your love, fall on my face

to bow (poem)

rather than back
a fall
of disgrace
to bow
is to fall forward
into grace

murmured rain (poem)

soft sounds
around the house
drop and murmured pattern
the rain's make

take joy (poem)

take joy in the light
feel warmth on your face
fix eyes on God's grace
take strength in doing what's right

like the light (poem)

we burn like the light
it's a beautiful sight
flaming in gold
unburnt, bright, and bold

Note to Self 003 (poem)

courage is rising each morning
determined to try this again
I'll give you the answer you're seeking
walk closely and cling to God's hand

the frosted fields (poem)

the frosted fields
beneath the fog
this is springtime
write in the log

the snow comes down
such gentle cold
this is springtime
or so I'm told

5/10/19

known to fly (poem)

castles, towers— rising high
above the clouds
we're known to fly
and ride the storm
on eager wings
for with the lightning
passion sings

when the winds
blow out the gale
home we fly
to tell the tale

fresh time (poem)

a cup of tea
fresh time for me
the morning glow
of what I know

5/11/19

from endless wells (poem)

hope springs eternal
from endless wells
the vision of my soul
the depths of heart
I cast my eyes on God
and see so far

5/12/19

no hesitation (poem)

quiet focus
concentration
reach with heart
no hesitation

5/13/19

to write the song (poem)

to write the song
we get along
to sing it out
we cannot shout
to lift our praise
our hearts we raise

for all I hope (poem)

so much to do
so much to see
and someone who
I want to be
I give You thanks
for all I hope
and pray, dear God
that I may know

where you are (poem)

just begin
where you are
take a step
you'll go far

I'd rather not (poem)

sometimes I feel things
I'd rather not
sometimes I cry tears
I'd rather not
but better to feel things
than bury inside
and better to cry out
than forever to hide

early morning rising (poem)

morning flits in, like a bird
my heart keeps its time with the clock
I am awake—where's the sun?
sleeping still in the warm earth

5/14/19

joy is of (poem)

Joy is of the saints and who can put it on but they?
I feel I am no saint, but I have been out to joy's way—
wrapped in that warm feeling when I know that I am loved,
despite being unworthy of regard from God above.
Enter in His presence! Sing for praise and shout for joy!
Give thanks in every trial, every moment—find my joy
in looking at my blessings, overflowing from His grace.
Keep my eyes on glory and thus fixed upon His face.

good morning, time (poem)

good morning, time,
dear friend of mine
please be okay
for all today

before us now (poem)

good morning to this bright new world
brand new day before us now
may your heart be love unfurled
banners of thanksgiving—how
I carry on is only through
and seeing God in all I do

5/15/19

need (poem)

For F and Y

I want things
I need things
I need you
to feel me
to hear me
just please
be near me
I can't forget you
how much I
leant on you
I need you
I want you
please come back to me

5/16/19

Prayers for the New Year #027 (poem)

You have a plan
O Lord of all
I ask of You
please make the call
and Holy Spirit
guide my way
help me to listen
to all You say

things to do (poem)

things to do
it's true
hang on
we'll make it through

some say (poem)

you've heard some say
we can't make it
you're not worth it
just remember
there's nothing you can't do
and I love you

wait (poem)

For F and Y

wait for me
I'll wait for you
draw you close
when all is through
melt away our ancient pain
love you with my heart again

Prayers for the New Year 028 (poem)

sometimes my Grandpeer sits
with his heart upon his face
I pray to God in heaven
I pray for healing grace
defend him from his sorrow
pour comfort in its place
guard all his tomorrows
with joy and love and peace

5/17/19

awake (poem)

morning comes and I'm awake
if that is what we want to say
pray God fill my whole day through
and make me more, O Lord, like You

stars in my heart (poem)

For M and T

I am in motion now
I breathe in the night air
and the twilight
glows ethereal around us
night fog, night blue
stars overhead
and bursting like nova lights
in my heart where you burn

5/19/19

Your Light (poem)

My heart is full of the warmth of Your light
You fill me like candles that banish the night
To edges of shadows, for joy fills our sight
Beloved God, thank You; please always shine bright

so many pieces (poem)

I am what I am
so many pieces of myself
I do not fit
I don't make sense
I should just keep me on the shelf
I have no choice
the world is bright
it demands my fullest self
I lay me down
I pick me up
I keep on going, no one else

deep enough to see (poem)

glory in the joy
of holy presence
glory in the peace
that now increases
reach up open hands
and claim the mercies
favored love and grace
that lovingkindness
deeper than the ages
than our failings
deep enough to see
the tiny child
a flame of light so bright
that we could be

this spirit (poem)

broken down in pieces
so build me up in light
save me from my feelings
until there's hope in sight
my heart is often failing
it beats sometimes with fright
O take this spirit from me
and come, Spirit of Christ

(haiku for birds)

soft bird feathers puff
and ruffle—prancing across
like a tiny king

hurt (poem)

I hurt, I hurt sometimes
the wings of my pain surround me
fly away, fly away and return to me
with treasure once buried beneath

5/20/19

Prayers for the New Year #029 (poem)

God, to You I give this day
help me walk within Your way
cling to love with stubborn hands
and do all Your will commands

5/22/19

love me (poem)

love me in the morning
when all the day is new
and I cannot have started
on ever failing you

love me in the evening
when all the day is through
whoever else has loved me
I will come right back to you

Prayers for the New Year #030 (poem)

good morning, God
forgive me, Lord
for all my failings
and my flaws
the brief forgotten yesterdays
the stamp they made
upon today
and may this be
different, I pray
my heart be new
and cleanse my way

(haiku for tulips)

I have been buried
within deep snows—like tulips
I can be raised up

5/24/19

morning's new (poem)

evening's passed
morning's new
this is me
right here with you

flowing in
my heart so true
we greet the day
and carry through

verses (poem)

Once I wrote things—

bright and flowery,
like a tower I
rose to the occasion

now I break out simple things
words and thoughts reflect my deeds—

open promises,
hope, expectations—
fulfillment in just a path walked.

they say (poem)

mind me not
this passes
or so—
that is what they say

5/27/19

Prayers for the New Year 031 (poem)

I am grateful for the sun

warm upon my face

and I'm grateful for Your love

the hope of Your bright grace

You strengthen me and take my hand

I bow upon my face

I don't deserve this endless love

or such an honored place

I wait for you (poem)

For F and Y

I wait for you to come to me
heartbeat loud and strong
every breath desperate for you
so do not wait too long

5/29/19

why does my heart (poem)

For N

why does my heart hurt?
why does my soul ache?
where does the wind blow
when it takes you away?

I trust (poem)

I trust You
for You are the God of all distant places
and all that are near
or nearer to me:
You founded the heavens,
put stars in their places—
lit the bright candle
or soul that is me

So I will trust You
and bow down before You,
unclench my tight fingers
from all that I need,
for You are my Father;
so Father, I beg You
please help me surrender
and remember me

hunger pangs (poem)

hunger pangs
twinge and burn
I cannot spurn
the light You are

pour out light (poem)

heal my broken places
pour out light within me
burn away all darkness
trying to consume me

fall away (poem)

I have hope
when I think of You
the bad things fall away
at last
from my weary heart

5/30/19

Prayers for the New Year 032 (poem)

good morning, God, it's been too long
since always, ever, I sang my song
once-planted seed, grow deep in me
bloom into truth and set me free

Quarter 006 (poem)

with love, I rise
the new day flies
before me
Christ, show me

nor always hide (poem)

I have seen hope
it does not always hide
in rocky places
nor always run
when my heart draws near
my hand in God's hand
the pain presses deep
but heaven is near
and so I grasp hope
without any fear

5/31/19

the bedrock (poem)

you lose everything sometimes
and when you get down to nothing
beneath may find something
the bedrock of faith

enough for the weather (poem)

God, make me strong
enough for this weather
I fix sight on You
to pass over water

washes over (poem)

I am quiet
in my heart
the sea-tide swell
washes o'er all

I did too (poem)

did you miss me?
I did too
I'm only myself
when I'm with you

talk about (poem)

we talk about things
and give thoughts wings
not thinking they'll fly
with voices, they sing

Prayers for the New Year 033 (poem)

guard my tongue and mouth from me
and guard my heart in Your mercy
and hold me in Your perfect hands
God, speak through me, the light I see

but that's okay (poem)

I am not okay, but that's okay
sometimes in this rough world, we feel this way
our hearts broken in pieces and I say
hold on, my friend, to light 'til the new day

June 2019

6/1/19

Note to Self 004 (poem)

the world is not over yet
occupy until I come
love with both hands open
keep shining when it's done
be light so bright in darkness
be light in midst of light
always continue seeking
until your faith is sight

in troubled times (poem)

I have hope
in troubled times
for light
still shines
its breath
makes end
of night

(haiku for blooms)

soft blooms, raise your heads
nod with sunlit breezes—be
happy and alive

Prayers for the New Year 034 (poem)

I am peace and quiet in the night
—this night
there are days this is not so
days my heart is weary and weeping
days that seem not worth the keeping
may the Comforter draw me close

things to do (poem)

things to do
it seems to me
are ever with us
constantly

truly worth
the heart we give
are those with which
we love and live

so open up
and look around
for not in work
is true worth found

6/2/19

grace (poem)

unmerited favor
this grace that grants me strength
each morning
I pray desperately for wisdom
to understand what I must do
to have the strength of Christ—
to do it

6/3/19

wake my heart (poem)

wake me up
and wake my heart
it's time to rise
and time to start
time to greet
the brand new day
commit to walk
a higher way

white as winter (poem)

I am white as winter, and as cold
my heart once beat within me, bright and bold
but icy winds enshroud me, and I shiver
keep my eyes from gifts and on the giver

winter's child (poem)

I am not a winter's child
summer sun, the coast as mild
as a child could hope to have
yet my heart feels cold at last

where I'm hurting (poem)

warm me where I'm hurting
I pray for peace within
for everything is aching
like blood beneath the skin

6/4/19

I remember the light (poem)

For N

love is the moment
I care about
when darkness falls
and the lights come up
like lightning spread
across a crimson sky
I remember the light
the way you looked at me
the words found in my heart
rooted there to be
to blossom into life
to glow with fervent blooms
with all the things you taught
I live within this room
and hear my heart, its beat
lifted on your wings

tell me where (poem)

For T. S.

tell me where my dreams go
somewhere that you don't know
inside me are the depths
and you do not know what's left
my breath like ice that ever grows
beyond the flames your mind knows
unbroken and unwavering
you'll never know my everything

a case of the mondays (poem)

ten minutes to say hello
to my brain again
where did you go?
I need you out of the bed you're in
because I'm here at work

breathe a moment (poem)

breathe a moment
think a moment
hold your reflex
in your hand
rein your anger
blow out fear
a sigh of hope
and try again

hold fast (poem)

move my heart
my mind is full
hold me fast
'til we get through

6/5/19

did you miss (poem)

For F and Y

did you miss me?
I ache for you
did you think of
all we'd do
when we were together
and had been through
did you miss me?
I still miss you

burden my heart (poem)

For C and D

don't burden my heart with your love
your need and your fire were enough
to haunt all my dreams; I wake up
wrapped up in you, like as not

a candle (poem)

breathe like you mean it
you feel it
it burns in your heart
feel like you need it
you're burning
a candle in the dark

6/6/19

the gift of Christ (poem)

morning greets me with the bells
within my heart, the music swells
and so I rise, my hands hold light
the gift of Christ, it shines so bright

help me sing (poem)

Christ, help me sing
through all troubles
with love and peace

the winters go (poem)

cold and snow
the winters go
around my skin
but not within
for in my heart
the warming glow
of home and hearth
and love I know

6/7/19

to care (poem)

There are things I care about,
but this really isn't one.
I used to figure out
a way to feel it; now,
I'm feeling burned inside,
and I cannot help nor hide
that I'm feeliing rather done.
I don't care if we have won.

halves (poem)

For T.S.

flames in my fist
ice in my kiss
an eye on the cold
an eye for the light
brighten my heart
as I open my mind
release all I hold
let it fill all my sight

6/11/19

the fuzzy birds (poem)

the fuzzy birds
they flutter and fly
to reach the oatmeal
piled high
to feed so happy
and give thanks
God cares for them
and me always

Note to Self 005 (poem)

good morning, I say
good morning
hold on there, I say
hold to Him
and go through the day
with hope now
good morning, I say
good morning

take time (poem)

I love the new day
when I take time to pray
find peace in my heart
let fear wash away

6/12/19

They (poem)

They—

cold faces, cold hands
eyes too hard, you understand

They—

ruled our lives, raised us up
watched over missions and our loves

They—

means a certain people set

Them—

is not a compliment
don't forget
we count on fingers, make a list
count memories and future plans

They—

haven't run away just yet
this they will regret

6/13/19

under the glass (poem)

For C

sorrow cages me in under the glass
there is power in this
I bare my hands, my teeth in a smile
I am unconquered territory
though many have walked this land

how far must we fall (poem)

For D and C

how far must we fall into the ocean
the waters are deep of emotion
our words dwell in the shallows

child, my child (poem)

For K and C

child, my child
not of body but blood
I've wept blood for you
you are mine
I am yours

6/14/19

alive (poem)

For G and S

you are quiet
my mouth is on your shoulder
your breath is in my heart
slow and steady
you live despite the fire
that burned your face
the fall of your hair like silk
beneath my touch
the heat of your chest
it moves with breath
your hand is on my back
and I lie quiet beside you
feeling the life within

the rhythm of your heartbeat (poem)

For G and S

I take solace in the rhythm of your heartbeat
under my fingers
the warmth of your body heat and your breath
fills me and lingers
this quietude we share burns within me
steady bright embers
ready to fan into flame
each time we remember

6/17/19

long day (poem)

I return from a long day,
a long day ahead of me
I gather my things to work and
I get a warm cup of tea
the cup of tea in my hand now
feels like a small part of me
a grace that is worthy to help me
as work spends an evening with me

where have we been (poem)

tell me where have we been this day
down the paths of promise and roses
where the briars grow over the stones
I step with my cautious feet now
and look up for ahead are the thrones

things to do (poem)

things to do
and some for you
the way I love
is to follow through
for if I know
the things you need
and can help
then there I'll be

half and half (poem)

bright roses
over the garden path
their heady blooms
and thorns' small wrath
mind with beauty
its other half

6/18/19

find me waiting (poem)

love to find me waiting
see, light within your eyes
your hand is warm in mine
we stay to watch the starlight
and wait for sun to rise

6/19/19

Prayers for the New Year 035 (poem)

glory and power and honor are Yours
I kneel down before You, put head to the floor
and fall on Your mercy: please help, I implore
guide me and lead me; I need follow more

all love (poem)

For B and G

all love to you
today and through
the days ahead
by hope be led
and I shall pray
with strength—my all
for perfect light
to fill you full

6/20/19

the early prayers (poem)

the early prayers that rise to You
from in my heart, they feel more true
than when I'm at the end of self
begging mercy, for nothing else
could save me from the pain I feel
in either case, my heart shall kneel
and mind relinquish in my praise
my ways in favor of Your ways

my light (poem)

John 1:5

grant me peace, I pray,
to face this day
with peaceful heart,
my light in dark

moments like this (poem)

moments like this
come upon us
it is how they find us
that matters in the end
not that they found us—
again

shut the door (poem)

I am quiet
I've said it before
my heart is full
but I shut the door

6/21/19

provide (poem)

God will provide
I cannot hide
my aching need
I pray; I see

We Do Our Best (poem)

We do our best and pray the rest
Works out as hoped because we know
There's only so much one can do
Before results are up to You

6/22/19

family is (poem)

Sweetness, warmth,
hope, and love—
family is
a treasure chest of.
I've seen the name
on family tree,
but those above
are family to me.

6/23/19

give home (poem)

cold whispers
bright colors
give home
a wide berth
come here, love
fly forward
to my arms
the warm earth

6/24/19

rooted deeper (poem)

joy is not a cloak I wear
but something rooted deeper
under heart and memory
under hope, as under sea
beneath imagination's ocean
beneath the ice floes of my doubts
beneath the turning of my soul
where light burns bright, its candle glow
foundational— I won't let go
until it fills me all

wind is born (poem)

little bird sing,
my heart you are
you flutter now
your flightless wings
until wind is born
and feathers woven
from the light,
the love you learn
to sing

rhythm and beat (poem)

hear the rhythm, hear the beat
the desert sun shines down on me
within the wildness I bloom
my roots grow deep
oasis water welling up
and brings new life to me

6/25/19

the mod (poem)

I am the mod
it is my job
to make things go
and let all know
the rules we use
the stories we choose
to ask and tell
so all stays well

in the morning sun (poem)

joy comes in the morning
sun upon my face
I bask in the light of grace
give thanks this is my place

my sister's voice (poem)

joyful singing
my sister's voice
warms my heart
that I rejoice

6/26/19

Prayers for the New Year 036 (poem)

God bless you and keep you.
May His love go with you,
Through good times and hard times,
All through this day.

the green fields (poem)

the green fields that roll away
dotted with trees that stand and sway
in every breeze that blows all day
in its fragrant floral way

where worlds lie hidden (poem)

I am lost sometimes
in the woods
beneath the greening trees
where my heart lies open
bark peeled back
they say there are worlds in the acorn
and countries lie hidden in the seed
beneath the bright cocoon there beats
a heart like mine
the blooms unseen imagination promises
I am waiting to become

heart home (poem)

For F and Y

my heart has found its home—in you
I find unknown what I should do
should not this feeling beat in me
instead it beats in you, I see
and what they say, the words seem true
I follow my heart: it leads to you

with each other (poem)

For GP

my heart aches for your heart
please know that I love you
could I find a cupful of joy
I'd spill it within you
I share all the love that I have
I can't be another
but though we feel so alone
we're alone with each other

supposed to breathe (poem)

For N

Am I supposed to breathe? I'm told it's true:
This feeling in my chest when I think of you
Is supposed to go away eventually,
But how can it when you are not here with me?

6/27/19

roll with (poem)

so many days
the way they pass
like lights in the heavens
flying by
the seasons go
like leaves on the trees
like cars on a highway
or rolling seas
the tides turn over
my rolling heart
with the punches of life
I'll rise and restart

those things (poem)

For S

a little bird told me
it's not as bad as it could be
I am grateful for good things
you are one of those things

some of the time (poem)

most of the time, it's not a big deal
what I need or can't do
what I can't call to heel
but some of the time
this thing I should do
matters so much, God
so I give it to You

quiet (poem)

I am quiet
I start so many poems with these words
but I am quiet
my heart up on the shelf
I don't take it down
but in the quiet moments when my heart screams
when the world no longer needs the space
then I am not quiet nor am stillness
then I let my heart out, feel again

6/28/19

(haiku for sunrise)

sunrise pinks blue sky
night falls away, gold rises—light
wakes the spring songbirds

tell you why (poem)

don't ask me to tell you why
no reasons are needed to cry
I feel the bright wave and I sigh
I miss you, that is all—why

the new cup (poem)

morning breaks inside me
on a tide of tea, like water
on a tide of hope, like ocean
I sip the new day, the new cup

good morning! (poem)

good morning to you
good morning we say
I pray that God bless you
and guide you today
I pray He protect you
make for you a way
good morning to you
good morning I say

6/29/19

no words required (poem)

love is a quiet moment
heart to heart
no words required
to feel the depths of joy

bloom in my heart (poem)

good hopes for you
bloom in my heart
I hold you close
than watch you soar

together conquer (poem)

For B

remind me who we were and who we are
best sisters and best friends forevermore
I love you and you love me to the end
together conquer all while hand in hand

until they hold (poem)

butterfly wings unfold
I beat against the pain until they hold
bright breezes 'neath my heart and colors clear
spread on sky to see from far and near

for love is not (poem)

remember me in pictures taken
of all the good times, things that warmed our hearts
remember me, for love is not forsaken
even if I'm not quite where you are

under my pen (poem)

crackle of paper under my pen
my heart must spill forth, again and again

mantle (poem)

should I pray a mantle down from heaven
or left to my shoulders those once worn before
take the torch and carry on yet further
or hold my hands to God and ask for more?
I know not seeds once planted by another
that I might harvest if I faithful walk
I only know this cross, this love, this mantle
is the words I write and that is all

July 2019

7/1/19

twittering (poem)

twittering birds—
that cheerful sound
up above and all around
I hear their song:
it warms my heart
here is where the summer starts

the end of hope (poem)

hope is a small seed
but at the end of hope, the tree

Prayers for the New Year 037 (poem)

good morning, God! I pray to You
fill me with Your love all through
my every thought, my every act
so 'I'm Your child' is clearly fact

black and white (poem)

For S

I've heard stories: black and white
in my future; in the fight
I'm only painted silver, red
because I'm living now instead

color my heart (poem)

For T.S.

color my heart like yours
color my face, my eye, the light
I wash away the side of me
that isn't colored like you

to be good (poem)

I want to be a good girl
you know what I could be
if only I was healed
and if only I could see
if only I weren't crying
in a room without a view
instead if I were clinging
with my heart and soul to You
breathe in me Your mercy
I pray to be set free
from every cage I've built up
in bars surrounding me

7/2/19

my God, my friend (poem)

joy is in the little things
the little moments of our lives
the hopes and dreams and reasons why
we keep on going—in the end
joy is in my God as friend

the weight of my waiting (poem)

NB, 6 lines

bones settle into silence
with the weight of my waiting
there are answers drifting in stillness
if only I catch them
here on my outstretched fingers
the hope of my praying

winds blow (poem)

cold winds
blow sometimes
my hat right off my head
my heart beats in my chest
I blow with windy tread

like a flame (poem)

hope is a funny thing
not subject to logic
a feeling within me
it burns and it grows like a flame
I have seen there in the sky
in the dark early morning
a star shining on me
bright vision within my eye
I tell myself nothing's impossible
all's possible to me
if only I carry right onward
into the light

I buried my heart (poem)

For F and Y

bury my heart
in you, in you
like a seed I left it
buried in you
now here I wait
with heart in my hands
broken and hurting
'til you come again

the only one (poem)

I am pain
don't ask my heart
where is my healing
I cling to one
who is my strength
the only one
who can save me
this is trust
for I am pain
and still I cling

wait me out (poem)

wait me out
hope to hear
my captured words
I cannot speak
let silence tell
my secrets now
and let my heart
find yours in peace

7/3/19

that's a thing I do (poem)

I hope
that's a thing I do
I should
and I'll pull through

Note to Self 004. The Cost of Doing Business (poem)

The cost of doing business:
put a smile on your face;
don't forget to act in grace,
with your word both kind and guileless
and your tactfulness in place;
and if you must, you brace
yourself to be accountable
to love, e'en in the face
of those who are not loving.
Peace passes understanding
when the source is Christ's own grace:
before you start—reach out, embrace
the Father's love within yourself
to give away to someone else.

beyond the stormclouds (poem)

we wait in peace
we hope for light
and keep the heavens
in our sight
beyond the stormclouds
radiance
streams down like glory
the consequence
of shining bright
in circumstance

promise me (poem)

For E and A

promise me something
promise with words
come back to me
and into my arms

red and blooming (poem)

For C and D

blossoms in the snow
where love lies red and blooming
on a bed of cold
I try to forget on the other end
of this feeling lies someone like you

7/4/19

only grace (poem)

hopes and dreams—and promises
my heart made one to me
but only grace of God can keep
I pray so constantly

Like to Birds (poem)

Hope is one of those things
Granted like to birds, wings
Each our measure fully
If we treasure truly
Our hope will lift us high

7/5/19

on heaven and earth (poem)

God is the God over all
He has no need of my worship
He does not need my acknowledgement
to rule over heaven and earth
He asks for my love for a purpose
He asks my obedience only
because He longs for my happiness
both on heaven and earth

7/6/19

hope blooms (poem)

cold breeze
say please
warm me in
my soul tonight
hope blooms
empty rooms
filled with love
and joy tonight

(haiku for a squirrel)

on a yellow line
the squirrel stops, waits, looks both
ways before crossing

(haiku for sisters)

joyous laughter—this
is a moment for sisters:
I hold it close, warm

miss my heart (poem)

For N

the flowers bloom
within my soul
bright memories
to keep me whole
I miss my heart
I gave to you
but God, His love,
will get me through

wish I could take (poem)

For G

wish that I could take the pain from your heart and carry it
your love for God is not in vain: I know that you will conquer this

7/8/19

in the new day (poem)

good morning to a brand new day
a brand new week: the things I say
are not weighed down by past mistakes
so rise again whate'er it takes
this is the thing I stop to pray
and hope anew in the new day

(american haiku for thirst)

water for thirsty
aching souls—my parched tongue cries
for a spirit whole

small packages (poem)

good things, small packages
hope brings good promises
home to my softest heart
joy can be both strong and quiet

with open arms (poem)

I wait
with open arms
trusting You

a road (poem)

there's a road home I travel
off into tomorrow
but when I reach it, now
is where I'll walk somehow

on wind (poem)

borne up on wind
the wind so cold
it makes my heart
both bright and bold
to ride the skies
on eagles' wings
as in my soul
a new song sings

a day brings (poem)

the birds cry
the heart sings
pain and joy
a day brings
my shoulders bear
the endless weight
wings bear up
and fly straight

just got to make it (poem)

I just got to make it up
inertia handles the rest
I just got to make it out
by giving forth my best

the golden hour (poem)

the golden hour
falls around
my quiet soul
don't make a sound

relieve the burdens
of the day
and on the wind
let drift away

7/10/19

what lies before (poem)

what lies before
in days ahead
the coming storm
its certain tread
o'er horizon
feel winds blow
hold onto me
and don't let go

winter quiet (poem)

winter quiet, like spring snow
tends to settle in my soul
so still, so pure, a certain peace
when all the noise around can cease
and I can look upon the white
soothing blanket, mirrored light

through the trees (poem)

needles of green, so bright and clean
their piny scent rides on the breeze
and hear the wind, its howling path
around the house and through the trees

7/11/19

whatever you whisper (poem)

write me a poem
speak a good word
whatever you whisper
will somehow be heard

find root in my heart
won't you open my ear
I promise to listen
and more, to stay near

nothing (poem)

I promise nothing
a simple word
when asked how I am
but simply said
I promise to love you
I promise to care
about my own circumstance
there's just nothing there

strike (poem)

mornings lie in wait
to see which way you'll strike
a shadow creeping through
or a blow for light

tea goes down (poem)

tea goes down
warm my gullet
warm my heart
and break the silence
ice cracks over
a weary mind
just enough to
let in light

wish me blessing (poem)

wish me blessing
not just luck
a hand to guide me
love to hold
mercy, power
hope, and strength
Christ in all things
flow through me

seasons of hope (poem)

seasons of hope

of promise
of rain

carry through heartache

through hurt and
through pain

Spirit, move in me

and fill me
again

through joy and through sorrow

through loss and
through gain

7/12/19

physics (poem)

keep me in motion
the wheel must keep turning
and I must keep learning
with earnest devotion
hearts will keep turning
rewards we'll keep earning
an equal reaction

time my mind (poem)

time is a harsh mistress, but a servant strong
it's time my mind and I just got along
a series of answers to questions I don't speak
it's only in the silence I am weak

(haiku for morning)

morning joys—simple:
for love of sun, tea within,
birdsong, I will wake

answers (poem)

some of us don't have answers to all questions
it's better this way
when asking, understanding requires putting away of self
to listen is to shut the mouth to answering
ask questions, learn the wisdom
found in someone else's head

7/13/19

prod (poem)

you poke, you prod
it hurts but no
how dare I say
you're even that way
how hurtful I am
to you

lay down the gun (poem)

wisdom says
lay down the gun
remember, dear heart
your weapon is love

echoes (poem)

For N

once upon a time, I heard your voice
with human ears instead of just my mind
we promised for forever, but now I find
my heart still echoes with the memories

water cooler (poem)

birdsong
they strut around the seeds
and twitter
like water cooler chat

after the rain (poem)

help me find peace again
for a weary heart in pain
and find the beams of sunshine
after the rain

skin to skin (poem)

For TS and AG

quiet moments, quiet breaths
skin to skin, in love and let
each other closer than our hearts
beating fiercely—so we start

keeps on hoping (poem)

love hopes and keeps on hoping
through the darkest night so long
until the light is shining on us
then will love keep going strong

7/16/19

your love (poem)

For GP

I love you like you may not know
with every breath, I feel it so
this gratitude so deep inside
that in your love my heart can hide
that solid rock you are to me
is still my own by Father's mercy
I lean; your strength, it reassures
and comforts me—we shall endure

chinks of light (poem)

joy comes in tiny pieces
glimmer of perfection near
chinks of light, the Christ so dear
His love, forgiveness never ceases
and His blessing e'er increases
though I may not understand
the workings of His might hand
I'll see His glory in the end

we wait for (poem)

there are moments we wait for
light that we hope for
shine like bright candles
and show us the way forward
the promise we live for

welcome home (poem)

beside me sits the rock of ages
steadfast presence, never failing
unworthy, yet I cuddle in close
knowing I am welcome home

things I learned (poem)

things I learned from those who loved me
taught me wisdom, raised me well
to stand, press onward, ever onward
to think, to pray, to learn: I will

all of them hurt (poem)

I am a lot of things
and all of them hurt
but I'll see what tomorrow brings
look forward with hope

7/17/19

little bit of love (poem)

my cup overflows
that's the way joy goes
a little bit of love

7/19/19

hide behind teeth (poem)

I am a whisper
the quiet at night
I am a loud cry
under daylight
hide behind teeth
all the words I would say
better the whisper
no matter the day

Heaven to Gain (lyric)

Memories, they ache and bleed
Every single part of me
Feels the loss of you
I think that I am finally through
Then it's all this need for you
They say it could be forever...

But I'm not good with that
There's more to me than hurting
I will not turn back
From all that lies before me
Look unto the light
And find me there
On wings
Woven of this pain...
Heaven to gain

There's a race, and the race goes to the runner
There's a hope hidden in my wounds
For the peace I cannot feel inside me
I'll keep running and never cease to move

The prize lies at the end of a long road
Received by the finisher of the race
The thorns buried in my side, they say
Wait, but you know I cannot wait

I'm not good with that
There's more to me than hurting
I will not turn back
From all that lies before me
Look unto the light
And find me there
On wings
Woven of this pain...
Heaven to gain

It's not about the journey
But the destination
It's not about the journey
Only if I get there at last
It doesn't matter
If I move slow or fast
Reaching for the end of the road

I'm good with that
There's more to me than hurting
I will not turn back
From all that lies before me
With heaven to gain

only God (lyric)

only God can heal our wounds
only love can make us new
that's what I pray for you, you, you

I feel it in my own heartbeat
every breath, every pain
but your prayers are not in vain
your blood is crying in my soul
my heart is praying, don't you know

my heart aches with the same pain
tears pouring down like rain
I lost her too
but I'll get through
'cause I know it's true

no prayer goes ever unanswered
though years I may wait the fulfillment
oh I know it's true
as much as my heart is full
God loves you more than I do

7/20/19

light of hope (poem)

joy, the light of hope, of Christ
freedom from the sins that plague me
every weakness, every failing
lifted from me by His light

7/21/19

the smallest joys (poem)

happy moments
breathe them in
grateful for
the smallest things
glory in
the smallest joys
and carry them
into the day

dryers (poem)

dryers with a mind
of their own
should mind
my better plans

Note to Self # (poem)

mind your manners
mind the date
consider tactful
ways to state
things you know
that you must say
let etiquette
infuse your day

when the tea kicks out (poem)

that moment when the tea kicks out
I've been know to whine and pout
do I pour more from the spout?
or off to bed and do without?

7/22/19

on one (poem)

the fate of hundreds lands on one decision
one light to make the shadows fade away
one heart to hold the fullness of the vision
one voice to say the words that we must say

fill it with hope (poem)

it's a new morning
fill it with hope
that joy may renew in the heart

light in every place (poem)

light shines in every place
the eye can see; it is God's grace
to grant us visions bright
if we will just hold to the light

Prayers for the New Year 038 (poem)

busy day ahead of me
I pray to God: please grant me peace
much wiser than the thoughts I think
and help me praise You constantly

one of many (poem)

For GP

you make me smile from my heart
and fill my mouth with laughter true
and that is only one of many
reasons that I love you

7/23/19

we praise (poem)

we praise the Lord for morning sun
light before us, days begun
we praise Him for the falling rain
new life breathed in earth again
we praise Him for the winter breeze
for though it's cold, we do not freeze
His hand shall keep me every day
if I but walk within His way

(american haiku for love)

joy comes quietly
in that moment I realize
that I am still loved

it's time (poem)

it's time to wake
new choices make
so hope will lead
and Christ my creed

like a river (poem)

I want to say so many things right now
heart full to overflowing
out my mouth
like a river pouring but I bite
down the flood and swallow
drink it back like the earth
swallows the water
bide silent in the shallows
waiting

broke in pieces (poem)

I broke in pieces in the light
swept away by wind in flight
met Your hands, they eased my plight
and held me close through all the night

7/24/19

before the glory (poem)

Good morning, world and soft-spoke songs
of birds that fly to me along
the predawn paths of breath and air,
making all my heart aware:
before the light, as songbirds raise
their heads and voices, so I praise
before the promised glory shows,
for it will not fail, my memory knows.

morning like this (poem)

morning like this—
warm inside with the draught of another cup,
quiet inside with hope and sleepiness,
aware of work to roll up my sleeves—
I sink into His arms and in His peace
find strength to stand, rise up, and carry on

trust (poem)

small sounds
shivers and cracks
I trust and pray
God watches my back

the race (poem)

rise and shine and greet the day
stand up, stand strong, and watch and pray
the race is on, the prize to stay
in heavenly light and joy always

Prayers for the New Year 039 (poem)

kiss me, sun,
with light and heat
fill me, Christ
my heart Your seat
my mind your throne
inside of me
I ask of You
please grant to me

the books of our DNA (poem)

open the books of our DNA
our hearts and our minds hold even less
than the testimonies of inward spirals
the libraries beyond ourselves
ages encoded into flesh
glories yet to fully unfold

mine's the heart (poem)

For F and Y

in liminal light
between the worlds
there lies my heart
in fire unfurled
revealed within
a crystal hue
too cold to stay
even with you
you wipe your eyes
it's mind should be
stained with all
our misery
and mine the heart
that's going to bleed
when you are sundered
away from me

when all seems lost (poem)

hope remains
when all seems lost
the chips are down
we count the cost
but somehow now
a heavenly power
and holy grace
takes judgment's place

O cup of tea! (poem)

wake me up, O cup of tea!
you're supposed to do a work on me
I sip another, drink it up
hope for brightness in my cup

7/25/19

lights go out (poem)

the lights go out
we say goodnight
find peace and warmth
and cease to fight
and rest in arms
of love tonight

coming day (poem)

it's quiet now
but coming day
feels over loud
it comes this way
I stir, I wake
I open eyes
and fix them on
the lovely light

wish you could know (poem)

For B

I love you so
wish you could know
how much you mean to me
how wonderful
and strong you are
and that your eyes could see
how valuable
how beautiful
you are to God and me
there's nothing wrong
with you 'cause you're
who God made you to be

7/26/19

a cup of love (poem)

a precious cup
made of love
my sister gave to me
to warm my heart
each morning new
I fill it with warm tea
I drink the love
I drink it down
deep inside of me

where we're going (poem)

For N

tell me where we're going
and why
I'm trying really hard to
not cry
take me to my shelter
by and by

Reminds Me (poem)

For B

Yes, you look like Nomi and learned her grace
Your voice reminds me sometimes and your face
When you smile is bright the way hers was
And I love you so, no matter what

hope blossoms (poem)

hope blossoms like a tulip in spring snow
within its heart the sun beats and I know
on the other side of the storm, its light will show

along with the beat (poem)

don't stop the music
don't stop—
the dance keeps spinning
hold on
let the life fill you
and sing
along with the beat
love brings

bright and shining (poem)

NB, 12 lines

I am bright and shining.
Is that okay to say?
My heart is warm and quiet;
It's supposed to feel this way.
I know my nerves still jangle—
I take up too much space,
And yet never do enough now:
At least I feel that way.
But sometimes I remember
The good things I have done
And feel it burning in me:
It feels like I have won.

bruises (poem)

NB, 14 lines

For F and Y

I feel bruises
on my heart
that's where you used to live
and where the fire started
just beneath the crest
of collarbone
buried in my flesh
just like my beating love for you
stronger than my heartbeat pulse
but every word you took to me
like knives and wounds you beat on me
bruised my heart
and now it cries
for you

my best (poem)

promise in the evenings
of hope and peace and rest
a weekend lies before me
I gave my work my best
I saw mistakes get by me
put quality to test
I give it all to You now
and pray for what comes next

like small promises (poem)

evening falls, a comfort around me
the night sky closes in and stars above
twinkle like small promises, tiny glories
I warm my heart on them, it is enough

inward I fly (poem)

mind turns to evening at close of day
a long hard slog of work has earned this turn
inward I fly on eager, tired feet
to shelter in Your rest as I have learned

don't (poem)

awkward and ungainly
my words lurch to and fro
please do not hate me, friend
and please—don't go

full up! (poem)

full up, she cries; full up!
the floodgates open up and pour me out
pray, do not mind the torrent from this spout
full up, she cries, until it all comes out

The Evening Grind (poem)

I pray the evening grind, that all's accomplished
I give You all my time, dear sovereign Lord
Let all things work together and Your triumph
Conquer all my plans; I prefer Yours

7/27/19

wisdom hides (poem)

Prov. 1:20

wisdom hides in open places
buried right before our eyes
the truth is in our hearts and faces
if only we'll let go of lies
and rise to take our rightful places
at wisdom's feet: we heed her cries

(haiku for a birdfeeder)

lined up like clothespins
on a line—songbirds ruffle
feathers over seeds

step (poem)

hope is getting out of bed
and taking one more step
after another
and another again
knowing somehow in the end
it will be worth the effort
of that step

on desert places (poem)

we cry for rain
on desert places
breathing life
into our hearts
poured from heaven
mercy, graces
this is where
the healing starts

not over yet (poem)

the month's not over yet
so don't give up
victory lies before
if you persist

even if (poem)

For K7S

I cannot live without regret
nor in a world where I forget
the joys, the loves that I lived through
even if I could have you

an endless flame (poem)

For K.I.

bold and bright, bring love to light
an endless flame wrapped in your name
my loves so dear, would you stay near?

cry (poem)

For K.I.

I do not cry until my heart
has no recourse, no one needs
my will to be both strong and fine
but now, my friends, my heart must cry

how worth it (poem)

For K, M, and T

remember the good times along with the bad
remember the laughter, the joy that we had
remember the silly days when were just friends
remember how worth it before it all ends

implacable horseman (poem)

evening comes
implacable horseman
the wheels turn
and won't be held still
riding nearer
I brace up against wind
hold on and catch hold
we ride for the hills

I put away (poem)

at end of day, I put away
my pain and fears and weary work
for in the evening, I must rest now
heal and sleep, then rise again

7/28/19

Prayers for the New Year 040 (poem)

make my mind that I might learn
open doors before my eyes
grant me vision, I pray You, Lord
that I might live and never die

7/29/19

do the math (poem)

count them up and make them count
tell me what you figure out
hold fast to hope and do the math
to step upon the higher path

this is how (poem)

For B and K

the golden prince
the foreignborn son
this is how the war was won
with kiss, with fist
with burning trysts
of anger swelling, love begin

until the morn (poem)

writer the words and say goodnight
time to turn out all the lights
snuggle close in covers warm
safe and sound until the morn

goodnight, dear God (poem)

goodnight, dear God
my heart gives thanks
for all our victories
and for Your great
mercy, patience, love, and peace
poured out on me—

now, I sleep

7/30/19

I love you more (poem)

say goodnight
I love you more
than all the stars
that cover sky
love their midnight
bed of black
I look at you
and can't turn back
goodnight, I whisper
snuggled close
and drift to dreams
that our hearts know

in the eye (poem)

good morning with my cup of tea
my armored heart of desperate need
hushed and quieted, like a child
I'm in the eye of storms gone wild
calm within my secret place
held in love and by God's grace

I'll drink to that (poem)

I'll drink to that:
a happy day!
to all my friends
who pass this way

I raise my cup
of steaming tea
and wish good blessings
on you and me

evening storm (poem)

evening storm—a rush of rain
cleanses heart and mind again
wash across my senses now
and wash away the day somehow
I close my eyes and hear the wind
the dance of storm and sky begins

in you (poem)

my comfort is in you
the heat of your arms contains me
and the beat of your heart embrace me
in that ever-present love

the stars will tread (poem)

the sun will leave us soon
and go to bed
the stars will rise again
together tread
the heavens of night
beneath a moonlit glow
when morning come again
then off they go

the fields (poem)

green the fields and gold the grass
on every hill we travel past
green trees thickly point to sky,br> ruffled by wind as we go by

7/31/19

new visions (poem)

joy comes in the morning, they say
relief of the weary feet, the weary heart
it's a new day
yesterday's mistakes have gone to sleep
and are buried
let them sleep the day away
and don't go digging
lift up new eyes to a new sun and sky
and set new visions up on new heights

(american haiku for weekend mornings)

singing loudly while
washing up and cleaning up
special morning joy

the promised music (poem)

the rhythm moves and breathes
a cadence in the weave
of dance and word and life
keep footsteps light
and feel the music promised
come inside

stargazing (poem)

cold winter nights
turn out the lights
let the stars' glow
be the brightness we know

hope beats (poem)

hope beats between my ribs
caged by my bones, faint pain
that promises birth

August 2019

8/1/19

Wake Up! (poem)

the birds are singing frantically
outside my window fast and free
as if their chiming is to me
Wake up! Wake up! most patiently

in the rain (poem)

burning fire uncontained
smothered in the pouring rain
until it finally washed away
and left the light of a new day

even for me (poem)

even for me, even for me—
there is hope for me
I fall on Your love, I fall on Your Word
Lord, will You make me free?

(american haiku for gratitude)

prayer fills my
heart like water—rising flood
of full gratitude

8/2/19

Soulmates, Black (poem)

For Double Black

He dreams, in silence wakes
And there the stakes
Are rendered bright, as if in blood
They drown the flood
Their hands are tied
Their hearts are intertwined
And woe to all on which they dined

raindrops (poem)

raindrops on the window panes
on my head, my leg bone's pains
are nothing but drops down the drain
into the deep whence feelings sprang

sweet relief (poem)

the cool of evening
sweet relief
noontime's heat gone
thank you, thief

are power (poem)

words are power
words that sing
in this hour
and with them bring
into our life
everything

evening glow (poem)

evening glow
the gold upon the hills
a green sea, the small brown heads pop upward
the fluffy twitching tail
of a rabbit flying for cover
in taller grasses
the dips and hollows of earth
I drink my fill

8/3/19

green (poem)

hi, hello, the new one here
never quite sure when I'll turn brown
right now, all green and fresh for you
please point the way, and I'll get to it

the end (poem)

the end of the world
as we know it
watch me laugh
and just not show it

prayer for peace (poem)

pray for peace
within my home
and heart come back
from whence it roamed

8/4/19

vision (poem)

Proverbs 29:18

whirlwind that falls upon us
swirls up the good and bad
I look up and ask my Father
is this all I'm meant to have?
I know the answer deep inside me
as all do who only ask

(american haiku for heart)

dry in the hearts, no
rain from skies will water them—
only from heaven

water from heavens (poem)

water from heavens
cover my soul
flood me with waters
heal 'til I'm whole

stars above (poem)

music moves, the heaven's spheres
stars above both far and near
heaven's light falls on our face
a benediction, precious grace

8/5/19

the mob (poem)

my heart cries out
the mob's mean shout
whoe'er it's about
has terrible clout
break all its chains
on the horde and the vain
'fore they do it again
and hurt with dark pain

the hundredth (poem)

I cry to You
my God, my rock
please find me, keep me
safe in Your flock

the gentle chimes (poem)

the gentle chimes
"Awake! Awake!"
what a difference
their song can make

give the tatters (poem)

cold winds blow
my heart in pieces
give the tatters
to Your hand
stitch them up
mend the wounds now
I ask of You
my loving friend

8/6/19

write your name (poem)

tell me another
write down your name
right on my heartbeat
I'll keep it like flame
a thousand bright candles
will someday run out
but you will keep beating
right there in my heart

blessings to you (poem)

hello, good morning, God's blessings to you!
to keep you and help you in all you must do
to love you and hold you in all you go through
I love you so much, and God loves you too!

a gathering of birds (poem)

the chipper birds cheep happily
fluttering wings so easily
they gather around to chat and feed
their happy faces, I smile to see

towering (poem)

castles tow'ring high above
encircled with a moat of love
here I live above the clouds
and no, my friend, I won't come down

8/7/19

dearly (poem)

I love you dearly, sister
my heart is warm for you
I pray that God will bless you
in everything you do

Prayers for the New Year 041 (poem)

good morning to my wakeful self
and bless my body with good health—
I pray the Lord who cares for me,
that I can be who I should be—
and strength to do the things I must,
relying on the Lord in trust

before light (poem)

Luke 19:13

'tis the middle of the week and I'm awake
the morning isn't light but I shall take
the reins of day and guide it with my hands
for "Occupy" the word the Lord commands

to find me (poem)

glory to my God above
I glory in His matchless love
who leaves the hundred to find me
and bring me home in great mercy

(american haiku for love)

love is knowing home
in another's eyes, heart—without
needing the right place

(american haiku for love)

love is knowing warmth
in cold storm winds because one's
heart—one's friend—is close

possibilities (poem)

thoughts like wind
rustle the leaves
of imaginations
I give them wings
to fly afar
come home to me
and open my eyes
possibilities

all will be fine (poem)

my heart hurts sometimes
in the wilting heat of another's words
they strike my marrow where hope lies
next to an anxious hope my fears aren't real
but that is why I must heed my mind
that tells me all will be fine
even these things can be fixed

in painted colors (poem)

joy comes in painted colors
whispering love with silent art
taught to say all that I came for
all I pray for you, how good you are

8/8/19

Prayers for the New Year #042 (poem)

good morning, God, I pray for strength
in height, in depth, and every length
of road that You have set before
and every shut or open door
to do all that You'd have me do
and Lord, I pray, please get me through!

don't turn back (poem)

we're an interesting lot
nothing wrong with that
we hope and we dream and we don't turn back
and the light in our hearts
burns like the sun
as we run a good race to horizon

that moment when (the new day comes) (poem)

that moment when the new day comes
and all you want is back the night—
to cuddle after too long days
or even weeks—but you must rise
and go about in morning's light

set down my heart (poem)

write a poem, that's the plan
set down my heart with ink and pen

color me (poem)

color me gold
like promises
sung from the throats
where masses roar
out of depths
the sea tide swollen
with promises
from sun and from sky
their colors on me

a whisper of frost (poem)

winter catches my soul by surprise
I breathe out the cold, like a whisper of frost
and the stars open up, bright snowflakes on dark
I wait at the foot of the stairs of their light

like the sun (poem)

For K and B

I want you like I want the sun
warm upon my skin, I run
to meet you with my outstretched arms
and hold you with me, close and warm

(haiku for trees)

the birch trees shiver
asleep in their bark skins
but spring will come soon

8/9/19

of joyful things (poem)

my heart is full of joyful things
they lift me up, they give me wings
the sight of bunnies, fluffy, sweet
nestling in the grass so green
the sound of songbirds as they gather
on white fences to chatter away
before they feast at the small feeder
taking turns 'fore flying away
the warm heartbeat of my sweet sister
friendship carries me through the day
a cup of tea to smooth it over
the pain I can't quite put away
but even this will keep me flying
over the storm and ride the wave

born to fly (poem)

we hope
for we were born to fly
over rough winds
beneath our wings

call me in the morning (poem)

call me in the morning
out of the sleepy night
let sunlight sit on my eyelids
and draw me up to the light

the song (poem)

count me in as days grow long
I pray to God, I sing that song
that binds the spinning worlds in place
that binds my soul and offers grace
the song that all the heavens sing
true perfect love in everything

move me (poem)

move me
my heart if you can,br> me out of the way
if you must

the same air (poem)

we all live together
breathing the same air
and better if whenever
we can, we show we care

after the fire (poem)

I've been burned
I don't like to think of it
easy to live
without dwelling on ash
caught on my fingers
falling and sifting it
there is the sprout
the seed I once had

8/11/19

(haiku for songbirds)

songbird throat open
carries the sun on bright wings—
bearer of morning

(american haiku for sisters)

sweetest of sweet peas
dance for happiness with me
for sisters, friendship

(haiku for evening)

evening falls slowly
shading from blue to gold to
deeper blue, white stars

8/12/19

tasks (poem)

morning comes
new tasks begun
old to complete
I can't compete
but by Christ's strength
there's victory

day breaks (poem)

day breaks
night splintered by sun
until the whole world
is bright to horizon

weather (poem)

promise me something
that things will get better
I'm waiting so patient
for a change in the weather

8/13/19

hope as stubborn (poem)

hope as stubborn as life itself
beats in my breast as easy as breath
I don't have to think, I don't have to help
just refrain from holding it still in my chest

build castles (poem)

we build castles
every day
watch the floods
come wash away
I build my castle
out of stone
these dreams will last
until I'm home

heart moves (poem)

as water flows
my heart moves
in gentles breezes
God has planned

8/14/19

SEE NOTEBOOK (3)

introvert: brazen (poem)

I am brazen when I have to be
sometimes I have to be
it's a thing you don't quite see
that underneath I'm constantly
quiet and wishing that I could be
somewhere else with only me

SEE NOTEBOOK (1)

8/15/19

the field (poem)

grasses green and gold that spread
over the great, wide hollow and swells
proud trees raise their piney heads
a flash of yellow and purple tells
where the flowers hide in the sweep
of rustling grasses, soft and deep

Broken Heart (poem)

I am broken sometimes,
but I take the splintered pieces
up into the light of His hands,
and mercy finds me there; it takes
the smatterings of my heart,
with love binds them and heals the lines
with true gold, the gold that's tried:
I hear it beating again.

my dreams (poem)

NB Graphic NB, 4 lines

morning wakes my dreams again
can't I take the world by storm?
I ache to be more, fluttering hard
against this silk cocoon

8/22/19

wake (poem)

NB, 6 lines

wake me now, open my eyes—
my heart and mind feel locked inside,
and somewhere where my dreams are kept
is also where my light has slept
so wake me up, just as the sun
right before the day's begun

the light inside (poem)

break me open wide
and find the light inside
I open up my eyes
and there, the wondrous bright

we were friends (poem)

For F and Y

we were golden, best of friends
the kind you know will never end
now I'm red and you are blue
our shared blood, was it ever true?
did you want me like I did you?

8/25/19

we hope things (poem)

we hope things, so many times
and claim wings—the air we climb
and upward soar until in time
we reach the heights we had in mind

8/26/19

soft things (poem)

soft things grow
after the rains
come down in my soul
and find me again

forever (poem)

winter does not last forever
nor are we forever lost
for Christ will find me, yes, wherever
my weary soul had thought to roam

reweave (poem)

cold nights, long dreams
I pick apart upon the seams
all the threads I must reweave
this I do 'cause I believe

waiting here (poem)

promises burn within my belly
where my hope, like a candle, lives
I look up and feel it coming
yet I'm waiting here like this

8/27/19

What to Show (poem)

A year half gone, and what to show
For things I did and all I know
My heart cries out, what could have been
But I give thanks to You again
For I am loved and that is much
And pain may come but that is such
A part of life: it helps me grow
If I will live the truth I know

impossible things (poem)

some of us hope
some of us dream
some of us pray
for impossible things

I pray for you
please pray for me
someday we'll reach

cold nights (poem)

cold nights
they shiver my skin
my heart is warm
'cause love beats within
I think of your love
I feel it again
I'm not alone
however it seems

September 2019

9/1/19

clockwork (poem)

ho! a season new upon us
months that turn like clockwork gears
faithful rhythm quite relentless
days and weeks and months and years
pass like sands fall through the distance
grow like trees and fall like tears

(haiku for butterflies)

hope beats newborn wings
orange and black, monarch rises
earth gives way to sky

God knows the number (poem)

I am a speck, a grain of sand
but God knows the number and shape of each one
I am a light— minute, far away
but God named the stars and placed them with love
I am but a thread in the weave of His plan
but God made the pattern and has it in hand

remember me gently (poem)

remember me gently
in ages to come
for tender, I love you
when all's said and done

the fire (poem)

For V.E.

the fire in my soul has not gone out
nor have I been pulled out of the flame
but love has poured its balm into myself
and I grow slowly into my new name

the glue of (poem)

For F and Y

You left me,
forgot me—
I crumbled
in pieces,
for love is
the glue of
the gauze on
my wounds.

one (poem)

For F and Y

hold me in your love
and I'll not leave
for our souls are one
and so shall cleave

9/2/19

with the name (poem)

my heart afire
may Your name
take root within me
set soul aflame
with heavenly light
as You became
when first You took
that anointed name

(haiku for the golden hour)

heavenly splendor
golden sun, its liquid warmth
melts over the clouds

things I did not need to know (poem)

For F and Y

things I did not need to know
your heart is not among them
every seed we did not sow
I thought that you were happy
the lengths you know that I would go
to make it right and hold you close

9/3/19

in the morning (poem)

For F and Y

kiss me in the morning
when my will is weak
I forget that we were fighting
love takes a hold of me
let's wash away our sorrows
the small annoying things
be grateful for tomorrows
and all the joy love brings

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

hold me close in heavenly arms
through life's deep pains and raging storms
keep my heart both safe and warm
and keep my soul from deadly harm

that is grace (poem)

I do not deserve to ask—
but that is grace
I bow before You now—
I know my place
and pray for mercy's power:
cleanse my face

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

good morning, says my beating heart
my eyes can see another start
I beg the Lord for light of love
and grace and strength, I'm in need of

summer (poem)

golden promise in the air
sunshine heat upon my heart
gentle breeze, a blessed friend
so I lean into the wind

a seed (poem)

hope is a seed that's planted
in the earth of our hearts— hold fast to it!
water it with your attention
pray for its certain creation
the tree will come forth at last

9/5/19

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

new mornings—beginnings
I could use one of those
please help me to use it
the way that I hope
please bless me with strength, God
to live as You showed

9/6/19

to those who wait (poem)

joy comes to those who lie in wait
expectantly for hope and those whose deeds
reflect the beating hope within their chest
until the promise filled may find its rest

rise into light (poem)

I am not a child
so rise I must—come storm, come shine—
into (and be) light

for rainy days (poem)

thank You, God, for rainy days
to lie so quietly and give praise
in simple things, much needed rest
I trust Your will; Your will is best

9/7/19

that tool (poem)

we hope, we wait, we use our brains
to plot and plan and think our ways
but truly, heart and will they rule
when applied after that tool

to Him who sees (poem)

I could hold forever
within my heart a plan
in a single moment
all changes yet again
but I commend my will
to Him who can see all
and plan it for my good
in part and also full

where my heart lives (poem)

cause me joy
where my heart lives
I am thankful for you
in all things

9/8/19

quiet roads (poem)

quiet roads we travel down
find our way to our hometown
where friends and family, love and warmth
cradle us through life's long storms
where hope is like a candle bright
through the length of the long night

in all things (poem)

thankfulness in all things
doesn't mean in nice things
or counting what the day brings
to see how good it is

thankfulness in all things
means even what the storm brings
and in the Lord, I'm trusting
He has a plan for good

in pieces (poem)

joy comes to me in pieces
like sunlight through a stained glass
the image of the moments
making up my life

9/9/19

the civilized (poem)

warm me up!
a full teacup
within my hand—
you understand:
the civilized
have long realized
a cup of tea
is just the thing

a spot of whimsy (poem)

perhaps a spot of whimsy
to go with things you think
I ought to make poetic
instead of what I drink
but take the sip of tea— I
choose not to live without
life is what I'm writing
all these words about

to work again (poem)

hope turns my steps to work again,
puts hand to the till, puts hand to the wheel—
we turn into the wind

9/10/19

summer light (poem)

summer light upon my face
feels like just a touch of grace
mercy like the summer rains
upon the stretch of golden plains

newborn daylight (poem)

light dawns anew
my heart years and catches
on newborn daylight
glimmering like hopes
that are fulfilled

visions cast (poem)

I wish sometimes
but more I hope
with action put
to visions cast
and here I'll stay
upon this hope
until its life
has come to pass

9/11/19

reset (poem)

quiet spaces
in my heart
echo chambers
hit restart
flush the cache
begin anew
or tell me, Lord
what else to do

(haiku for memory)

mountains rise from earth—
memories—they break the storms—
past, present—in two

don't wait (poem)

don't wait for me
the light you see—
eternal glow—
don't cease to go

beneath (poem)

aches and pains
bubble beneath
a shallow skin
I can't take off

9/12/19

so thankful (poem)

For G

lucky me that I have you
so thankful God has kept us through
the pain we feel, struggles we know
even when we can't let go
I'm grateful for the moments we share
that you are here and that we care
my heart is full of love for you
I know that God will bring us through

wings (poem)

we are flaming, beautiful things
no matter how transient these wings
but I shall tell you something new
there is more that we can do
should we die in the cocoon
our wings may fly forever—soon

don't make me go (poem)

For F and Y

tell me all the secrets that you know
did I ever say, don't make me go
I say it now, don't shove my heart away
I'd do whatever if you'll let me stay

an ode to tea (poem)

an ode to tea
I often speak
welcome soothing
calming heat
I feel it deep inside of me
a steady glow
for just a beat

another day (poem)

it's another day, another light
in the morning as it hits the sky
with golden glow and draws my eye
to thank the Lord for morning time

that grow (poem)

these words that grow in my heart, like seeds
I planted from the memory of ancient feelings, thoughts—
come up like tulips through the thick bright snow
and wave their lovely heads within the light
like flowers, words and poems spring from my earth
and somewhere in my soul, my heart gives birth

burdens (poem)

bearing burdens
we weren't made to bear
there's a part of me
that declines to care
and yet, a deeper part
I carry still
demands in soul-wrenched cries
for something else

we make rainbows (poem)

we make rainbows of our tears
we make courage of our fears
because the light of God is near
within His spirit, vision's clear
His warm, bright presence brings me there

to dust (poem)

bones ground to dust
I give the Lord in trust
that He can make me new
no matter if I am through

unceasing (poem)

hope springs eternal in my breast
as the songbird wakes me from my morning rest
unceasing speaks its beauty to the sky
that is what I want for you and I

(haiku for birds)

unburdened by pain
little birds flit through branches
winter dead 'til spring

9/13/19

before the turn (poem)

happy surprises
getting the story
before the turn of the day

a gift of tea (poem)

tea, warm and special
gifts freely given
from an abundant heart

burnt (poem)

burnt to pieces
like the sun
is blazing high
upon the one
part of me
not wrapped in you
feel the cool
when night blows through

where my heart goes (poem)

feel me
where the wind blows
hold me
where my heart goes
flying
o'er stormclouds
fleeing
to you

white letters (poem)

there are white letters
written down the ages
unspoken and uncared for
important nonetheless
I feel like I am written
within the white letters
this is not a bad thing
consider me blessed

(haiku for dusk)

evening falls—lovely
dusk gathers dark tresses 'round
her face, so graceful

presence (poem)

I feel your nearness in the house
family close, it means so much
to know that just a step away
is love and warmth, then I'm okay

9/14/19

a path to mine (poem)

For F and Y

another moment, another day
could it be another way
to find your heart, a path to mine
opens like a friendship line

the sound of heartbeats (poem)

For F and Y

hear the sound of heartbeats beating
like adrenaline, pulse pounding
that you smiled once just for me
a sight that no one else can see

reach out (poem)

For F and Y

love is that moment you reach out
and on the other side of an infinite gap
another reaches back

gathering dust (poem)

For F and Y

broken pieces of my heart
left forsaken, gather dust
hold them gently when it's through
even then, I still love you

when the storm rolls in (poem)

For F and Y

missing you is like a living thing
an ache that settles into my chest and bones
when the storm rolls in and the wind is cold
I feel the beating memory of you
make it hard to breathe, to move
until warmth comes again

the final act (poem)

night draws its curtains round
the final act of day is closed
a robe of stars sings out the show
blows last kisses farewell

heart on sleeve (poem)

For B

a heart on a sleeve is no bad thing
and seeing yours makes my heart sing

9/15/19

later (poem)

I'll be better later
I'm sure
sometime in the future
or so
there will be a moment
a light
when everything that's wrong now
will be right

days we hope (poem)

days we hope for
days that pass
like light gone by
through window glass
hold the sunlight
with my eyes
and with the daybreak
I will rise

that He should love (poem)

I feel the light upon my face
another whisper, remembered grace
that He should love me in this place

within my home (poem)

within the home, a cozy light
and nearby sister, all feels right
knowing warmth within my home
an evening filled with love I know

9/16/19

mirrored in you (poem)

For L and L

that playful gleam within your eye
when times are good and smiles we wear
the tears that glimmer when I cry
mirrored in you—I know you care
the sea, the salt, the wind and air
they all remind me you are there

summer crescendo (poem)

hot days
summer plays
crescendo of
the morning sun

I've missed you (poem)

it's good to see you again
a smile returns unbidden
I've missed you in my own way
waiting 'til end of day

9/17/19

open eyes (poem)

NB Tumblr, 4 lines

wake me early to Your presence
open up unseeing eyes
let me gaze upon Your glory
let it cleanse me, live inside

for another (poem)

For N

there is an ache for another
missing that loving heart
someday we'll see each other
I pray that it not be too far

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

heal me of my grief, my sin
the things I wish for that just hurt me
clean me out, renew within
until Your light is all I see

the edge (poem)

take the edge off
blow a kiss
feel the lightning
just like this

9/18/19

an inner door (poem)

NB, 6 lines

the clock chimes
the hour speaks
an inner door
within me creaks—
swings open wide
lets heaven inside

upon us (poem)

NB, 4 lines

new days come upon us and find us waiting
hope springs anew within our beating hearts
that today, the daylight finds us saving
all our dreams, and promises come through

dream of you (poem)

NB, 4 lines

For F and Y

I dream of you when I shall sleep
and in my heart, all memories keep
of every day you loved me too
I will not stop from loving you

right at home (poem)

For F and Y

right at home with you I am
right at home right here
where love warms both of our soft hearts
and I can keep you near
where visions shared we spin and make
adventures we hold dear
I am right at home with you
yes, this one thing is clear!

mountains made (poem)

mountains made for climbing
for victory and joy
for standing on the heights
admiring the view

(haiku for joy)

joy comes in small bites—
glow of dawn, of stars, of lakes
reflecting the bright sun

daylight (poem)

For F and Y

I think of you at dawn when morning comes
because to me your smile was like the sun
your eyes so bright whenever they looked at me
was all the daylight I could ever need

roots and wings (poem)

For N

love moves my heart in circles
over the courses of memory
back to the root, I flutter my wings
both of them came from you

diamonds scattered (poem)

evening glitters before me
diamonds scattered across the sky
so many lights to shine on me
such a gift from You

(haiku for evening)

evening flies down like
a drifting bird, wings outspread—
last glow of the sun

every sense (poem)

For F and Y

whisper something in my ear
however quiet, I will hear
my every sense is tuned to you—
all you say and all you do

whisper of grace (poem)

wind in my hair and the sun on my face
feels like a promise, a whisper of grace
reach up my hands and bask in the light
keeping this moment in my inner sight

9/19/19

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

joy comes in the morning, they say
it is the wide-eyed moment—I pray
let Your light shine on me, this day
heal all the way through me, You may

for the strong (poem)

kneeling is for the strong
who knows whence strength comes
love is never weak
if true love it be

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

make me holy, that I pray
cleanse my heart and words I say
fill my heart with love for You
help me know what I should do

love in between (poem)

love in the moments between
more important than what they seem
not just romantic gesture
but daily thought and investment
respect and support and caring
it's a whole life we are sharing

gentle place (poem)

quiet me now
quiet me down
lie down in waters
still as the depths
feel the bright sunlight
warm on my face
rest in the quiet
of this gentle place

9/20/19

wake! (poem)

hello, joy!
wake girl! wake boy!
and open eyes
with morning light—
on that new day,
the Son will shine,
so rise and say,
wake up, O light!

soft word (poem)

love is a soft word:
you matter—
let me help you—
I'm here

such promise (poem)

morning starts with such promise
hold me, O God
that I might deliver
in You

in my bones (poem)

I feel it in my bones
the music dips and twirls
my heartbeat whirls
with the beating day
thrumming through the rush, the way
we hurry to and fro with pain
on the path to greater gain

the need (poem)

I'm feeling the need
to breathe
in and out like a tide
what a ride
this heartbeat inside me too fast
don't pass
and leave me out on the sea
...
please

make me cry (poem)

catch me, make me cry
don't ask me why
the end of roads
feels like a blow
and I won't wake
'cause I can't take
if you are gone again
if this, the end

mind the seasons (poem)

For A and H

healthy reasons
mind the seasons
love not lost
but worth high cost

like water (poem)

fill my heart like water
fills the ocean full
with love so overflowing
each tide wash over you

9/21/19

bold of you (poem)

bold of you to state
as though your heart could know
the pain that my heart feels
what ails my fraught mind so
I know you have felt pain
and hurt to let things go
but you are not myself
nor could my heart you know

(haiku for wings)

bold as vibrant wings
crossing the air, stable as
earth beneath one's feet

can't but pray (poem)

I know that words are power
and I not always best to wield
but somehow in this hour
I can't but pray our wounds are healed

my soul does not deserve (poem)

For F and Y

touch my heart with your gaze
that sees through me and your love
my soul does not deserve
but I cannot get enough

moments beautiful (poem)

moments beautiful
to hearts so fine
filled with history
of love divine
and filled with promise
of hope in time
feel this moment
bright in light

9/23/19

all be fine (poem)

heart hurt
falls behind
tell me it
will all be fine
into Your hands
I give my time
and pray for grace
that I will find

eyes to see (poem)

may we
open our
eyes to see light
and hearts to
live love

cusp of light (poem)

day breaks open
like a newborn from its shell
I stand at the cusp of light
and drink from heaven's well

Prayers for the New Year # (poem)

focus my heart today
on love
the outstretched hand to another
the putting their needs first
on joy
and finding good in all comings
and leaving good in my wake

Sentence Case (poem)

I used to use a proper sentence case,
With capitals that would begin each line
And proper punctuation at the end,
But now I write whatever comes to mind.

9/24/19

I speak (poem)

I speak sometimes
I breath— decline
to speak my mind
at other times
this hope of mine
is not sublime
to free myself
from social fines
because my words
seem never right
and I do not
like starting fights

the golden hills (poem)

the golden hills lit by the sun
of an autumn afternoon
the grasses rippled by the wind
as though a sea without an end

9/25/19

love the king (poem)

praise be to God of everything
on heaven, on earth, the holy king
who loves us more than we have earned
(this does not matter to Him, we've learned,
for mercy and an infinite grace
is poured on those who seek His face)
and I shall love in turn the king
who is my all, my everything

worth the waking (poem)

a spot of tea
a ray of hope
is worth the climb
from sleep to go

claim promise (poem)

new days hold promise
that I shall claim in the Name
by a power above all else
the power to overcome—
by the grace of God

I pray the Lord (poem)

weak limbs, gasp again
pray upon my God, my friend
start of day—to reach the end
I pray the Lord, for I need Him

incumbent (poem)

the glowing sun on fields of green
presides as though the summer queen
I bask in light and feel the heat
the season holds its reigning seat

9/26/19

Glass (poem)

AO3, 58 lines

For C

I remember glass—
lights on the other side of nothing
shadows passing through like
memories that pass through time:
back and forth, back and forth
meaning absolutely nothing
sealed away as shadows are

nothing cracks
glass unbroken
words unspoken
faces pressed as if to pray
gazes set in a curious way—
darkness wrapped around in peace
all is quiet until it cease

need
want
unquiet desire
emotional fire

glass removed
(I am the glass)—
a hand outstretched
the prayers come in
a desperate thing

come forth!
wake up!
and wake the one
I really want

I remember the broken quiet
I remember endless power
no need to stretch forth my own hands
to leave the dark and rise again
but choice was not my own and then
the night erupts in red-black flames
my nameless self awakes, I came
to life again above the sea
gasp for air and then I breathe

I am not broken
am not shattered
the glass is gone
my heart is battered

memory comes back to me
the quiet dark
surrounding me
the nascent power
inside of me
but naught at all
of only me

I open my eyes and remember the glass
I raise my hands and look at them
the god that I was and the person I am
no longer one and the same
and the hand, the outstretched hand is gone
the earth in upheaval, black flames in my palm
my fingers embrace, distant lights go out
I stand in the wind
I stare at the sea
I am the glass
the god lies quiet in me

the quiet waits (poem)

the quiet waits my heart to fall to silence
into the presence of rest from woes and weariness
where God reigns over all

sometimes myself (poem)

I am not myself sometimes
struggling in moments your eyes don't see me
to find who I wish to be

I wait for you (poem)

come to me
I wait for you
through endless ages
'til the world is through

there is light (poem)

NB, 4 lines

the stars along their endless track
shine over ages cut through time
shine in my heart and shine on my eyes
no matter how dark, there is light

9/27/19

upon the sea (poem)

NB Tumblr, 13 lines

open my eyes to see
there's a new sun shining
in an open sky, and the sea
of my imagination gleaming
over the banks of a broader stretch of sand
than I would like to admit
my mind could fathom

and here in this still, quiet morning
on the shore of my preconceptions
I stand within my footprints
the horizon outstretched before me
with the faith of a child, my heart beats
and out on the water I go

He Keeps Me (poem)

NB, 4 lines

Where faith has led me, I will go
Where Christ has beckoned, I will follow
By His grace and by His will
Onward, forward, He keeps me still

Within My Depths (poem)

I am not just a quiet child, nor am I a quiet soul
But something lies within my depths now
Where my wayward heart can go
To find its rest and even strength! How
Christ lives in me, I don't know
But I give thanks unto His mercy
And pray the Spirit shine and flow

with waiting (poem)

did you forget me here? I'm weary with waiting
but I will wait forever if you will come
I will wait 'til the stars are no longer shining
if only I know you'll meet me at end of time

the end of summer (poem)

the end of summer is warm and full of promise
heat washing over the skin and face and eyes
from the light of a sun not ready yet to weaken
beneath leaves unready to loose themselves and fly

tears (poem)

put my tears beneath a scope
and tell me what they are
so I can know what feeling now
just met me at the door

9/29/19

Who Saw the Light (Sonnet)

AO3, 14 lines

For K

When once I loved a man who saw the light,
Allowing him to lead me out of night,
I thought to wash my robes once drenched in blood
And only stained them with his own—a flood
That washed my heart with hopelessness and fear.
A brother now! I hold him close and near.
A sister too, so young, in so much pain.
But I cannot protect—I try in vain.
Ah, my little sister, do not forget!
All that I have done, I did for you:
I harmed the ones you loved at first, and yet,
It was the only thing that I could do—
For should the cost of love be blood again,
It shall not be your own, not now, not then.

9/30/19

to climb (poem)

is it really the end of another long month?
the days do fly, like lightning pass
in an arc over mountains too long to climb
but I shall make it in due time

but a flicker (poem)

Romans 8:22

ages but a flicker in Your eye
waiting for the newborn child's cry
the whole earth groans; when will it come, be born?
I await a beautiful new morn

let hope (poem)

let hope take root
and with heart shoot
new leaves and grow
until we know

let hope take wing
with visions fixed
in everything
live out unmixed

He's Waiting (poem)

new mornings, like this, remind me
that all is not lost, nor over
a new day awakes; He's waiting
with open hand out just for me

October 2019

10/1/19

breathe love (poem)

golden heartbeats
I breathe your love
my lungs are full
it's in my blood
let mercy flow
and wash me clean
that I become
and then I be

wake the heart (poem)

wake up the heart that slumbers!
raise up the hands that are weak!
sort out the times and the numbers
climb upward again toward the peak
forget not the end of the journey
but fly it as fast as you can
for this is the race: we are chosen
now run by His grace in His plan

I lie in wait (poem)

AO3, 12 lines

For K

I lie in wait
a sword above me,
wings outspread
behind my back;
should you draw near,
my enemy,
or should my weapon
not mind me,
I do not fear:
my knife is quick,
my eyes is sharp,
and I am not weak.

10/3/19

SEE NOTEBOOK

so I'm the dragon (sonnet)

AO3, 14 lines

For A

The person that I killed over again
Night after night, the supper offered me
Was not a person: I was told this then,
And with each conversation, I believed.
The girl's determination passed my own,
The weapons that she used grew stronger still
And yet could not unseat me from my throne
Nor keep herself from falling, body chill.
A doll! She bleeds, she barely understands
That I will truly kill her with these hands,
And though she runs away, it's not to leave—
Was I to blame for all that I believed?
She turns to me, a human in her eyes.
She lives, and everything within me dies.

10/4/19

End of an Era (poem)

For N

It's the end of an era
My heart swept in light
Forgot all the pieces
That broke in our flight
The door lies before me
My hand reaches out
But you are not with me
I cry and go out

All My Pain (poem)

For N

You noticed that I wrote down all my pain
Suggested that it might come 'round again
But since I cannot cry, I must spill out
In ink and word until I'm empty now

Miss the Person (poem)

I miss the person that I used to be
I miss the person that may live in me
If only I could tread that way again
And be the person that I could be then

10/6/19

SEE NOTEBOOK

Hold Back the Tide (poem)

I feel the tears I do not cry
I wonder but do not ask why
This feeling stays so deep inside
Too easy to hold back the tide

10/8/19

Creed (poem)

I hurt in ways the world hurts
It is no crime that I should bleed
For on the rocks, we all must fall
Stand up, rise up, and walk—our creed

I wish in ways we all may wish
And dream of things we all have need
Of—love and worth and something more
Than just to carry on—our creed

But Christ was hurt as we are hurt
And how can we forget He bled
For us and even died instead
Of leaving us to our own need

And when I lie upon the rocks
It's God that reaches to lift up
And hold my hands to help me walk
And hold my heart—unfailing love

I hurt in ways the world hurts
I cry and ache with burning need
But in His love, I place my pain
That I might heal—this is my creed

10/9/19

SEE NOTEBOOK (4)

Here is Love (poem)

Behold! The Lamb!
Before His throne
Our hearts will kneel
For we are known
By Him who knows
All things He made
He knows our faults
Loves anyway

I enter in
His shining light
And feel the joy
Within me bright
That here is love!
And so I pray
Let me remain
Forever stay

10/13/19

when you put me to the test (poem)

somebody tell me when you put me to the test
you won't lay my body down to rest
and bury me beneath the depths
that indeed, I'll live to breathe
find one day some relief
and this is not the end of the best

break me (poem)

I break in pieces
break me down
I feel my bones
and in the ground
the winds so cold
the earth that shakes
the difference one
bad thing can make

overhaul (poem)

preserve me, clean me my heart and make me new
I need an overhaul, just through and through
and if all that I am should fade away
then all I ask is for a brighter day

10/16/19

for love (poem)

For A

some days, the world burns
tell me, can I ever learn
before comes home the things I earned
I cry at last for love I spurned

spinning (poem)

the world spins
my heart does too
I will have
to trust in You
I know the Lord
will keep my soul
if I relinquish
to His own

broken down (poem)

I've been broken down, and perhaps could want to fall
and never rise again, but this is not a known
for I could never wish, nor could my heart accept
when I've been taught to go until the goal is met

load time (poem)

spinning, waiting for the load
a page appears! a miracle
patience is a virtue, dear
even when computer's near

and all (poem)

For A and LO

cold breaks
heart makes
ice shiver
ice fall
warm hands
understands
who I've been
bad and all

there's a reason (poem)

For A and LO

I love the way you look at me
I cannot see what your eyes see
but in my heart I can believe
that there's a reason you love me

something I can hold (poem)

tell me something I can hold
when nights are long and very cold
when I am broken, only tears
something warm against my fears

miss me twice (poem)

miss me once
miss me twice
please be kind
more than be nice
I wish to be
your own again
love me now
as you did then

can't bear (poem)

For A and LO

do you know me? feel my pain
so much loss should not be gain
don't forgive me; I can't bear
your eyes on mine, love shining there

seems to break (poem)

I care
I'm supposed to anyway
does anybody know if I do?
I hurt
everything seems to break
maybe fade away
my heart can't keep up
'til it breaks

hope lies (poem)

cold
quiet
buried under silence
there
my hope
lies

lines (poem)

a penny for a line
a penny of mine
and yours! and yours!
let's get in line
we stomp our feet
and double our ranks
just because!
and then give thanks

break (poem)

a break! a break!
the briefest break
the very thought
makes my heart ache
a hope! a hope!
don't give me a rope
to hurt myself
lest I elope

10/17/19

SEE NOTEBOOK (4)

10/18/19

those lovely hours (poem)

castles bright
gleam in the light
I carry on
with them in sigh
their shining towers
my heart's powers
are to reach
those lovely hours

taste and see (poem)

Ps. 34:8

tea and crumpets
tea and grace
carry sweetness
into place
find my pleasure
in that taste

10/19/19

peaceful laps (poem)

silent, still, the quiet rests
upon my soul; I like it best
when peaceful laps against the shore
a wave of hope, and nothing more

snow flowers (poem)

winter blossoms—snow flowers spread their icy wings
into the cold, blue sky we gaze
and give thanks, for the beauty winter brings

mega (poem)

cheerful, chipper, name-calling sister
mega-, insert fun item here
I sigh, exasperated but
full of love and hold her dear

10/21/19

that good word (poem)

we hope, we dream
we do not cease
until our joy
at last increase
with satisfaction
come— reward
and so we wait
for that good word

sing hope (poem)

relief breezes through
on quiet wings
for I have heard the songbird
that hope sings

these the jewels (poem)

overhead, the stars look down
from the hem of night's dark gown
gleaming like the diamonds bright
these the jewels of lovely night

10/24/19

a little late (poem)

a little late
just a wee
I pray again
for Your mercy
that I might find
eternity
to be lived
with you and me

or two to wake (poem)

a cup of tea for sleeping
a cup or two to wake
I can't explain the difference
my precious tea can make!

the newborn sky (poem)

little birds wake me with their soft voices
it seems a light now dawning
is why my heart rejoices
come, hear the sounds arising
from their lovely choruses
and see the stars above us
melt into the newborn sky

can be (poem)

I can be brazen;
just try me later
I can unfreeze
my heart from this terror
I can wake up
and open my eyes
softly awaiting
whatever the prize

10/27/19

Shall We Dance? (poem)

For A

What do you know of me,
of the way my heart beats?
What can you think of me,
so ignorantly?
Tell me what power infuses
my hands and my feet.
Tell me what power without
I cannot defeat.
You raise up your hands against me,
not knowing what doom
falls upon those who would enter
such a dark room.
I open my eyes to see you,
just wishing for once,
that someone like you would listen
and save us this dance.

10/29/19

SEE NOTEBOOK (3)

Beautiful Are the Feet (poem)

Beautiful are the feet of them who bring glad tidings!
Lovely are the voices of happy things—
The joy that beats in my breast is given wings
When I hear the news of God my King!

Love Is the Way (poem)

For B

Love is the way you speak to me
When my heart is hurting
Your eyes so soft, how they hold me
To ease the quiet aching
For there are tears I cannot cry
Too many reasons, don't ask why
But in the end, I do realize
Your love is near and with me

further still (poem)

count out the grains of sand
across a hundred beaches
so many instances of love
and further still, God reaches
into my heart, my life, my all
and practices what He teaches

10/30/19

early (poem)

NB Tumblr, 8 lines

wake me early
the sky is dark
my heart is calm
before the dawn
what lies before me:
a new day
that is much
and so I pray

the grand design (poem)

NB Tumblr, 4 lines

we think in little pieces of the big picture
the grand design that only God can see
I hope and pray that I complete my role here
and make some difference to eternity

worth (poem)

NB, 4 lines

what is the worth of a poem, caught in the hand
the words that tumble over and over themselves
poured out of a heart that's too full, a mind that's too loud
maybe someday, somehow I'll figure it out

catch it (poem)

NB, 4 lines

joy is one of those things
you have to reach out and catch it
remember the things that you love
in the moments that don't feel enough

a happy word (poem)

NB, 4 lines

For A and LO

forever—
such a happy word
if forever spent
with you

there are things (poem)

there are things that bring me joy
a spot of tea, a bright new day
the songbirds perched upon the fence
a smile, a word, and you always

stars turning (poem)

For A and LO

cold blossoms blooming
my heart goes
to the rhythm
of your heart throes
open up my eyes
I feel the stars
turning overhead
and now they're ours

my lightning heart (poem)

For A and LO

fill my soul, my lightning heart
transform, renew these wings of dark
and turn this pain and guilt to light
for those I love, I want to fight

November 2019

11/4/19

Good Morning (poem)

Good morning to a brand new world!
Made each day, as if anew—
The mercies of my God show through,
So I will praise and pray unto
The plan He has for me and you.

I Have Found (poem)

Rejoice!
The sun has woken again
And I have found a friend
In the twittering songbird and light
That banishes my old night

Classes (poem)

NB, 5 lines

Remind me tomorrow
When weariness passes
And when all my classes
Are geared toward the doing
And less the get throughing

11/7/19

Total: 26 lines

now (poem)

NB, 8 lines

wake me now
the world's all up
sun in the sky
and tea in my cup

slow down now
and play that song
the song that carries
my heart along

sunbeam (poem)

NB, 4 lines

drink down the sun, like a golden
beam seeping into my heart
play it again in the morning
draw it back up and restart

Gasp (poem)

NB, 4 lines

I gasp for air, a nameless cry
The tears that will not spring to eye
The groans unspoken, breaking free
I swallow them back down in me

Broken Once (poem)

I was broken once;
tell me I'm not broken now,
and I'll believe the craziest things
if I can reach the end somehow—
unbroken, not cast away,
with something left but life to pay
for all my heart has ever done wrong:
this I've cried for all along.
Just tell me once I can be new,
and not forever shattered through.

11/10/19

The World (poem)

The world is cold and cruel,
But this doesn't apply to you—
The warmth of a word called friend
And you loving me 'til the end
Could carry me all of my days,
Even if we part ways.
This is the love you have taught,
And the hope in my heart you have wrought.

11/15/19

SEE NOTEBOOK (3)

Today, My Heart (poem)

Today, my heart be given to praise
Let me admire Your wonderful ways
Sovereign of all, Creator, Great Love!
Lift up my eyes to heaven above
That I might forever keep You in my sight
That is a future forever so bright!

11/24/19

We Wake (poem)

NB, 6 stanzas

We dream of things. We all do, sometimes. We all wake up from worlds without end, often without remembering what made them so wonderful.

There's something in my hand—like a stone, a jewel glinting in the darkness, or a ball of yarn unwinding down the path toward treasure...

You know what that is, right? Treasure, gleaming in the light of our dreams, in the heat of the dragon's flames that coats it with its guarding breath. For what are dreams without their treasure? and what is treasure without its guardian?

I am not an adventurer. I strap on my sword and sling—the one that slew a giant (shall I cross over a river along my way? for hiding in the stream is the key to life)—and lo, I'm off on the road we all must wander down, for the race did not ask the racer if they should run, nor did the starting shot at the mark request our presence when we drew our first breaths and cried...

There is treasure under the rainbow, they say; treasure in dreams and down the road we all must walk, forward or backward—if I must walk, walk forward, I say, no matter how hard the road. Look! There's a dragon! I think it looks a lot like me. Behold! In the face of the gold, I see my own.

We dream of things. We wake, we breathe, and perhaps I see the glimmer of flames in that early morning breath and inhale the golden sun, its gleam familiar in the light of day, like a jewel that glints or a stone in my hand— Who gives their child a stone? I wake. There are worlds without end. I remember— I remember what made them so wonderful.

feeling (poem)

NB, 18 lines

I'm feeling a little broken
right now
I'm sure there are better things
to focus on
do you remember the time
we used to play at being better
and I always thought I could

funny what a dozen years can do
to a heart held shut with super glue
I see the lines of tape and gauze
I don't forget the original cause

I'm feeling a little broken
right now
I'm sure you can patch me up
another time
if I hold out my hands to you
and offer the pain I've hidden away
will you save me again

Silence (poem)

NB, 4 lines

In silence, I grasp my heart
Take it in hand and shape it
Into a new thing, bright and gleaming
A container to hold the light

I promised you stories (poem)

NB, 12 lines

I promised you stories—
visions of golden light,
right out the gate—
can you see them,
glinting in the bright sun,
or hear their whispers
on the flowing breeze
streaming over your ears
and into your heart—
listen! I say, just listen
a little while to the sound of my heart
whispering into your own

a poem (poem)

NB, 4 lines

I guess I had a poem inside me
aching to get out
I open my mouth, my pen, my soul
and let it come about

December 2019

12/1/19

What It Takes (poem)

Show me the light before I break
Show me the distant rippling wake
Of the lifeboat heaven flies
Through the golden, burning skies

I will follow, I will rise
If that is what it'll take

12/8/19

Oh My Heart (poem)

Oh, my heart! I'm all a'tremble!
I feel cast down beneath the rubble
Of an earthquake deep in me,
Feelings that my mind can't see!

Opinions (poem)

Some of us have opinions
We do not make our minions
Or care to find another
Though this can be a bother

It's Been A While (poem)

It's been a while
Do you remember
The way we used to write
When these things mattered?
I feel my heart is battered
And my head is light
With the glowing ember
Returned to sight

Christ Alone (poem)

Christ alone can save my soul
Can heal these wounds and make me whole
Renew the broken parts of me
And cleanse my heart to set me free

Though I Speak (poem)

Though I speak with the tongues and voices
An angel might use when heaven rejoices
Only the love that blooms in my soul
Can make me like God: I give Him control

12/12/19

SEE NOTEBOOK

to home (poem)

we pack up and then we go
not wind nor rain nor driving snow
can keep me from the home I know
so wait for me; I love you so

here I lie (poem)

breath comes in fits and starts
downstairs, the call of duty rings
and here I lie in the spinning dark
wishing for what morning brings

some mercy (poem)

I pray to be saved
some mercy to find
like water, like grace
it's all in my mind

in pieces (poem)

I am in pieces
look for me under the sun
where the great stones warm themselves
and the brook streams quietly by

12/17/19

SEE NOTEBOOK

for centuries (poem)

Don't call me yet
I need to collapse for centuries
Or at the very least, a few years
But wait for me
Just another moment, a day
I'll find you on the other side of this pain

12/18/19

rough to me (poem)

the end of day
seemed rough to me
but I will trust
whate'er I see
that God Himself
has plans for me
He'll bring me through
most faithfully

12/26/19

above (poem)

morning comes
most graciously
does not demand
my RSVP
just waits above
so cheerily
above my sleep
above my dreams

keep it down (poem)

silence in my throat
please keep it down
I know you want to dance
around the town
but I would rather like
to go to ground
and feeling better, lie
my whole self down

careful (poem)

careful what you blow to kingdom come
you might just find it later—everyone
has that which hangs around after it's gone
just a thought: be careful what you've done

be fine (poem)

everything's going to be fine
I tell myself
while feeling quite the other
but Someone else
has the world in hand
and should I trust
my whole world to Him
be fine it must

instead (poem)

reality streams around me—a constant noise
born without the graces—without poise
I fumble through the streams and drop the threads
for all that lies beneath them—instead

to survive (poem)

I refuse to believe I'm foolish now
for trying to figure out
how to survive myself
when I don't know how

12/30/19

Another Year (poem)

Another year ends
I say my prayers
The new won't catch me unawares
But that I'll walk
In faithfulness
And all my days the Lord would bless

Good Morning, World! (poem)

Good morning, world! I say hello
It's good to see you once again
I thought the bed an unwelcome friend
When nothing in me seemed to go
Stop and rest, good advice tells
But wake and do, my instinct fights
I kept this day within my sights
Now just to feel alive and well!

Gut Punch (poem)

For F and Y

Missing you is like
Breath punched from my lungs
And hope torn from my gut
And a heart that's beating too fast
My hand outstretched, then you're past

A Thousand (poem)

Did I write a thousand?
I wonder in my heart
I need to count these piles
I wonder where to start

A Thousand Ways (poem)

For F and Y

A thousand ways to love you, a thousand days to sing
That you have stayed with me and made my heart to ring
With bell-like chimes so joyous in their melodies
A thousands years can't tell you how much you mean to me

12/31/19

Good Night, Old Year (poem)

Good night, old year! Sleep well, move on
Into the light of a brand new dawn
The new year comes! We shout and sing
Wondering what this year will bring

like you mean it (poem)

kiss me like you mean it, and I'll hold you in my heart
I feel it when you're near me like a candle in the dark
melt my frozen heart with the way you keep me warm
cast out all the darkness, oh my sun after the storm!

again (poem)

hope awakes again, another time—
my faithful friend
for mercies are renewed, and maybe now
now I can do
the things I want to be, so good and true