Challenge: Daily Poetry 2017

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Contents

Undated 2017

photograph (poem)

NB

wander through, like sunlight on my fingertips
I cast about the empty room,
like a dancer caught in arabesque
frozen in the midst of time
like a photograph in endless light

rush (poem)

NB

softly, we open our mouths and whisper
silence wept beneath the rush
of the silent rushing water
under our bridge — Hush, dear; hush

February 2017

2/8/17

Image (poem)

NB [Tumblr]

Moments pass in crystal mirrors
shining in another's eyes
Catch the sun and make it shimmer
cast it back into the light
I will be your bright reflection
if you will be my inner sight

Who Do You Think I Am? (poem)

NB [Tumblr]

Who do you think I am? the daughter of pain
Once upon a time I knew my name
You think I am the monster in the night
And never asked who taught me how to fight

Who do you think I am? I could be yours
The changeling child stol'n away in night hours
I was raised by military hands
On your behalf, I have razed foreign lands

Who do you think I am? your conqueror
Though I have deposed your emperor
Thrown down those I know have spilled your blood
But isn't it easier 'stead to blame us?

Who do you think I am? the daughter of pain
This blood I can't wash out has made a stain
Upon my soul and conscience, the price for life
That I should be the weapon out of sight

Who do you think I am? I could be yours
I wanted to be someone's, like before
Before I was a weapon, I was a child
I was not a monster nor born wild

Who do you think I am, your conqueror?
I took my freedom, but did not defer
Yours or bring down powers innocent
Of the blood of children that they spent

Who do you think I am? the daughter of pain
Once upon a time I knew my name
And one day, I vow, I'll find again
Who I always knew I might have been

like the lightning (poem)

Kiss me like the lightning
Make my insides spark so bright
Let your fingertips like thunder
Make a rumbling throughout
Stare at me like stormclouds
Fix me with your nimbus gaze
Make everything around me
But you to fall away

lumen (poem)

the light plays music
across my fingers
golden notes
like dawn, my hope

Spilt (poem)

All I hoped for, all I wanted
Right in front of me
I knocked it over, poured it out
I spilled the cup of tea
I sniffed, I sopped, I mopped it up
I sighed most wistfully
But, alas, resigned myself
It wasn't meant to be

Mystique (poem)

For R

blood is silent, yet it cries
it whispers in your foreign eyes
the worlds are spinning on your tongue
are you ancient; are you young?

We (poem)

love is a heart that bleeds
when yours is hurt
love is a soul that aches
when yours is burned

love is a hold that warms
when you are cold
love will stand behind you
when you're bold

love is the shout of joy
in your success
love is happiness when
your dreams are met

love is two hands twined
the eyes that meet
and speak without our words
all that we need

restless (poem)

quiet moves in quiet places
unstill, unwhispered, full of faces
they open up their silent mouths
a room unempty of quiet shouts

dreams remembered (poem)

I've forgotten how to dream
once I knew, I'm sure I knew
you know the vivid way it seems
that life is seeping out and gleams
that is how I always dreamt
I never wondered what it meant
that I could wake from such a life
it shook me up, it made me cry
I used to try so hard to lose
the things I dreamt, I'd gladly choose
to walk away into my day
so hard, so fast, it fell away
I realized once not long ago
that all the dreams I used to know
that used to burn in me, aglow
seem like photographs so old
I've forgotten how to dream
I used to know, I'm sure it's so
do you remember how they gleamed
vivid, seeping from their seams

2/9/17

The Daily Shuffle (poem)

The daily shuffle

back and forth,
forward and back—

Mind the track! I feel the pain

within my throat,
within my chest—

the daily grind,

it never ends.

2/19/17

Know It Is (poem)

Life is a shattered mirror
spiderweb memories fragile
like ice after a hoarfrost night
before it is thick enough to hold
our weight—just hold my hand
I won't let go
I know it's cold
I know you see your breath and
know it's going to be a long way down
but that is life

March 2017

3/1/17

light goes spinning (poem)

The light goes spinning around and 'round
I close my heart, but it makes no sound
I open it up to Your great light
That my heart may joy and faith 'come sight

3/3/17

(haiku for ice)

the top of the world
seems lonely, wind cutting ice
tears from my lashes

3/5/17

(haiku for sunlight)

catch morning sunlight
waking my eyes—sharp, gentle.
forgive winter's bite

3/12/17

The Way She Moves (sonnet)

For S and M

The way she moves, all confidence and grace
The fire's dance compared is commonplace
Her violent touch to conquer foreign land
Is gentle when she touches me again
I touch her warmth and trace her many scars
Against the softest skin, cascade of stars
Her voice is low, a rasp within my ear
Like shivers in the thunder that I hear

They say my lover's ruthless and she's harsh
They say she knows no mercy nor no fear
They say that they can see the scathing arch
Her eyebrows make and all her coldness hear
They've never felt the way she clings to me
Nor understood what is necessity

3/29/17

fruit of joy (poem)

light
is the
song on my lips,
the fruit of our joy
in each other,
is us

shining bright (poem)

Joy,
the light
within your
beautiful eyes
shining bright
at me—
my.

April 2017

4/26/17

Together (poem)

early this morning, I thought of you
you by my side when the sky was blue
you at my back when the clouds are grey
never without me walking away

Tenderly (poem)

Croon to me a love song
Soon into my heart and
Save me very tenderly
Brave my heart tonight

Under the bridge (poem)

it’s water under the bridge
just water
you can tell me over and over again
it’s just water
and I’ll cry my tears
and I’ll drown your pride
and in the end, stand by your side
it’s just water

May 2017

5/1/17

Autumn (poem)

months pass; leaves fall
little children grow so tall
footprints damp in rampant piles
colors bright for just a while

5/3/17

Seed (poem)

there’s beauty in the silences
that swirl ’round my room
that enter into distances
that flirt with the monsoon
there’s something deep inside of me
the eye, a growing storm
I keep it close, this light you see
to spark me bright and warm

Burning (poem)

I feel the light,
burning in the distance—
It's the light of a thousand fires,
the light of a hundred candles,
the light of a thousand souls
burning in a hundred hearts
(Can't you feel the light,
not only in the distance?)—
but also in my heart.

June 2017

6/4/17

True (poem)

today is quite a lovely day
in the most significant way
the way that means I spoke to you
and knew again our friendship true

6/6/17

Arm in Arm (poem)

Joy is when we say hello
We breathe the air another breathes
We wrap our arms, for as we go
We are one in everything

Happiness is the way we walk
The road together where’er it leads
We laugh at night, by day we talk
And always care for the other’s needs

Friendship is how we live our lives
We’ve known each other since we were small
Complementary as cream and chives
And love each other best of all

June 20-21 START OF SUMMER

July

7/9/17

Adoption (poem)

Heaven would be ours
should we know our powers,
for heaven is within
and to the Lord we're kin
if we take His name,
let His adoption claim
change the name we hold
into His like and mold.

Heartbeat (poem)

There's a song in my heart
O the mercies I chart
In the soul of my God
In the depths of His love

When anxiety frays
My peace and it sways
My soul from its course
I command, Light, come forth!

For the power of Christ
Is the song of my life
It is pounding in me
The true heartbeat of me

Another word for (poem)

Technical difficulties
Is another word
For universe having a laugh

there's water (poem)

there's water under the bridge
it's gone, long gone, by now
but there's a channel in the earth
of our history and a bridge

dawn echo (poem)

echoing into the darkness
shines the light
open my eyes to brightness
newness of sight
shake out my newborn wings
and rise in flight

7/18/17

If I Can Find a Way (poem)

If I can find a way
to shove it under the bridge,
I will.
If I can find a way
to drown it under the bridge,
I will.
If I can find a way
to throw it under the bridge,
I will—
every time
you did not understand,
every time
we did not get along,
every time
we could not cross the bridge—
because I know
our love remains strong.

7/24/17

Burning Bridges (poem)

Yesterday, a bridge
Today, the ashy water
Pours out of my mouth
Like a mighty river

Feathers (poem)

Two broken wings
Taped together
Maybe we can't fly
We keep each other warm

7/25/17

Transcend (poem)

Look into my butterfly heart
Look beneath my tight furl'd wings
In the cocoon, that dark, close part
There transcend terrestial things
I'll wake soon
And leave cocoon

7/28/17

May (poem)

I am grateful for the sun
It may be hot, but I am warm

I am grateful for the wind
It may be cold, but I can breathe

I am grateful for my friends
They may tease, but I am loved

I am grateful for the day
I may be tired, but I'm alive

The Heart and the Spark (poem)

Every once in a while
Someone falls in love
It couldn't be me, it wouldn't be me
But knowing it isn't enough
You can't just think it is true
Or feel it deep down in your bones
Your heart and the spark
Must ever apart
Remain or bam! you're in love

Uncertain Date

Prayer 010. Remind Me (poem)

Today, remind me who to be
A child of God in everything
To hold to You, O Lord, and cling
To the love of Christ in me

August

8/1/17

Culminate (poem)

You taught me joy in darkest hours
Filled me, touched me, made me love
The way we are before our powers
End the world: it is enough

Moon Bright (poem)

Moon bright
Moon light
Shines into
My room tonight
Kisses me
Upon my head
Sending sleep
Into my bed

8/2/17

(haiku for tea)

morning tea steaming
snowy white porcelain cup
breaking tide of peace

(haiku for tea)

evening tea heating
warm hands, warm soul; day's frost thaws
rest easy tonight

With You (poem)

Joy is the way you kiss me

You fill my heart with warmth

Love is the way you hold me

Through every violent storm

Peace is the way it feels to

Hold your hand in mine

As we rest together

Our hearts in perfect time

8/11/17

Daybreak (poem)

Morning breaks the night
Dawn shatters in light
Hours passed like dreams
Nothing what it seems

8/15/17

(for me)

broken eggshells
my heart
emptiness inside

this too (poem)

this too shall pass
even this
tomorrow it
will not be missed

where I've been (poem)

tell me where I've been
I've been hiding out for a while
hiding in the bottom
of my quiet, shivering heart
tell me what to say
what you will believe
I promise nothing but
an ever tighter weave

running like a mind (poem)

there's water under the bridge
it's running like a mind
ahead of the briar thorns
of memory in my spine
there's water under the bridge
it's drowning like a lie
beneath relentless truth
when nothing left can hide

8/16/17

burden (poem)

we are tired
of the heavy places,
the deep tirades,
required graces,
every word
you ever spoke
from the day
my eyes awoke

8/17/17

dance our war (poem)

we conquered cities
we stomped our feet
danced our war
to every beat
of our twin hearts
and no retreat
cry, my love
the taste is sweet

8/21/17

sometimes, you lose (poem)

Sometimes, you lose a poem
It falls from your mind like drops of sunlight
Pouring molten into the next
At least, you pray, it'll have a good rest

This Time (poem)

This isn't the first time you've done this
Disappointed me in my grief
This isn't the first time you've brought me
To tears and to disbelief
But I will find from inside me
The strength to give praise to my God
For even from this, He can save me
Even from this, can bring good

Light (poem)

Moonlight, starlight, sunlight
Last light, first light, bright light
You are the light of day to me
You are the glow over tides I see
You are the brightness before the dawn
I stare at you through the eclipse — you're gone

kiss me goodnight (poem)

kiss me where the blood runs down
where water flows and floods the town
where right is left and up is down
where angels drench their wings and drown

dance me in the brightest light
where sun is flaming into night
burning as it falls from sight
the end of all, eternal night


8/22/17

A Cat (poem)

Some days I think
To myself on the brink
Of another load
Of work, O to be
A cat!

Sky (poem)

flowers bright and warm
their brilliant colors waving
in gentle summer breezes
beneath a cloud-full sky

the way the sun rises
against the golden tide
cresting a deep blue ocean
guided by evening star

the way the sun sets
over the nimbus hues
of vivid pink and scarlet
my Colorado skies

Shadow (poem)

shadow on the wall
you step so quietly
catch me lest I fall
through the heart of everything

Lock and Key (poem)

you're the lock, I'm the key
together we are everything

wild flower (poem)

Robe the fields in scarlet
Array them in peony red
Run through the nodding flowers
And kiss them upon their heads

8/23/17

green (poem)

green pastures
soft meadows
trees shelter
wild flowers
sun shining
blue water
new summer
leaves growing

in whispers (poem)

somebody tell me in whispers
the way that the world turns
won't fly out like a flare
from the sun and be lost in the earth
somebody hold me in silence
breathe comfort into my back
that the end of all things is not here yet
that there is still time to grow yet

Sacrifice (poem)

Burn the road behind my path.
Unwind the yarn before me.
Let the bridges fall in charred
ashes upon the creek.
Only one of us shall step
into the dark, cold breach.
I know you want to sacrifice,
but I love you. It's going to be me.


8/24/17

Mine (poem)

Tell me what is mine

your heart?

I've never counted time

by mine

but I will count your breaths

and breathe

though I may roam (poem)

new house, new home
though I may roam
your heart will be
true north to me

day and night (poem)

morning, wake
within your arms
I lean on you
your shoulder's warm

by day, we're working
side by side
my many plans
in you confide

evening rest
finds me at last
asleep with you
our troubles past

Contentment (poem)

Warm fuzzies
Loud purr
Cat paws
Soft fur

claim (poem)

they tell me she won't love you
no one ever taught her how
they tell me she will kill you
should you ever let her down
they haven't seen her spear me
with her steady, certain gaze
nor felt her hand like iron
as she claims me in all ways

8/25/17

Prayer 011 (poem)

Lord, the day before me

is beautiful and bright

Lord, the work before me

is heavier than I'd like

But You, O Lord, are perfect

and, Lord, You are my strength

Carry me and guide me

today in everything

chambers of my heart (poem)

plant a seed of love

and kindness blooms

fill with tenderness

these empty rooms

the chambers of my heart

where hope still looms

avenue (poem)

an avenue of autumn trees
the faintest chill upon the breeze
revel in the falling leaves
flaming bright before they freeze

8/27/17

Moving (poem)

Today, we pack
Tomorrow, we load
The day after that,
The movers come in
All because
The home that we chose
Is lovelier far
Than the one that we're in

Blame (poem)

You throw around blame
Like it's all a big game
There's no equity in your name
Your reputation
Is built on lies
All your gold is but false prize

September 2017

9/1/17

A Grain of Faith (poem)

There is light at the end of this very long tunnel
There is hope at the top of this very tall funnel
Though a grain of faith is what reaches me
That's enough to bring eternity

Enough To (poem)

Got enough sorrows to drown in
Got enough prayers I must pray
Got enough words in my heart now
That are too heavy to say
But I open my mouth to a song and
I lift up my hands as I sway
If I can just find room to dance now
I will feel better today

and I (poem)

somebody tell me why
you are the reason why
my heart beats in my chest
and I
can't seem to make it
beat without you

scorn (poem)

The Database (Character)

you ask me why I'm caustic
you ask me why I'm harsh
you ask me what's my problem
but I'm barely getting warm

have you seen my future
or have you seen my past
if you had looked at either
you would never have to ask

alas, my friend (poem)

there will be other moments
and other conversations
there will be other heart-to-hearts
you are not two nations
your minds will meet again
you will again be friends
this isn't where it ends
you're just too strong to bend

excuses (poem)

don't bother me with excuses
don't trouble me with your lies
I can read the truth myself
from right within your eyes

9/3/17

seeking wisdom (poem)

wisdom guards the steps of those
who turn to you, who listen with their ear
to that quiet voice of stillness
inside us, for Your voice is very near

though our breath is near us, though our tongues
speak the words we hold within our cheek
nearer yet is precious Holy Spirit
Yours the voice and words I truly seek

A Day (poem)

This has been a day

You had one too

(not that You are finite)

I know You

had patience as I learned

to ever praise

through the very worst

of my bad days

Prayer 012 (poem)

You take charge and
You make plans
Let me follow
Your commands
I give all
My steps to You
Guard them, Lord,
And keep me true

count (poem)

count me in;

count me out

every moment adding up
I'm in twice;

I'm out twice

bring me in and fill my cup
you are home;

I am yours

surely, that should count for two
I will wait;

I'm with you

nothing else will ever do

silver (poem)

Canon: The Mirror

silver beckons
over hands
silver slips
in gleaming strands
I whisper silver
do my will
it shifts, obeys
and then lies still

A Treat (poem)

blow me kisses
make them sweet
seeing you
has been my treat

9/5/17

winter fire (poem)

Tell me what you think
of me
on winter nights, when skies are cold
and blue;
you touch me like I'm made of fire
holding hands
to keep you warm.

Everything (poem)

Everything I ever wanted
Everything you meant to me
Castles in the sky you promised
But you the ground beneath my feet
All I dreamed of, all I hoped for
Was your arms to comfort me

this my land (poem)

beauty
the eye of the beholder
wonder
the ear of the one who hears
behold
my skies, the mountains rising
here
from the earth I call my home

glitch (poem)

The cat, she naps;
Her baleful eye
is on me if I twitch
She shifts, her claws
are on me! I
cry protest at the switch.
Barely disturbed,
she purrs to sleep,
as though 'twas but a glitch.

Shadowed (poem)

Inkblot shadow
You curl around my edges
I nudge the window
Open. Breathe
You touch my mouth instead

Troth (poem)

I will burn like wind
Blown from the sun
Bear my light and heat
Or you must run
Thus then I may know
If you're the one

9/6/17

little songbird (poem)

little songbird,
wander far
but remember who you are
precious child,
spread your wings
fly and then come home to me

9/7/17

How Fly the Hours (poem)

How do the hours fly by so quickly?
Like wind in my hair, not slow sands dripping
Through time's turning glass, through the hours slipping
My hands in its mane, sweaty and gripping
Time seems to fly if our mouths are laughing
And doesn't slow down when we fall to weeping
Ride, bright stallion, into the bright sun
I'll see you when the day is done

too bad (poem)

shut up
you tell me who I am
you tell me who to be
you tell me who I was raised to be
but this does not define me
I am who I am
and who I choose to be
and if you think the world don't like that
too bad, I'll still be me

rust (poem)

I will survive
though I drown in the dust
though you beat me and fail me
though the air turns to rust
Yes, I will survive
though the night chills to cold
my wounds will heal over
the blood will grow old

I am sharp edges (poem)

My bones dance

I am sharp edges

You are the whetstone

of my face

The sun flames

like a bright spotlight

Watch me dance

in this harsh place

9/8/17

Tell Me Now (poem)

Tell me who I ought to be
I'll tell you who you are to me
Tell you all the things I knew
When you and I were only true
In friendship and platonic love
When you and I were still enough
I'll tell you all the roads we went
And all the dreams we ever spent
Do you know the paths we walked
The memories we never talked
About and all the hopes so sweet
Until they faltered underneath
The bruising years that lay ahead
And now behind us that lay dead
Tell me who I ought to be
Now that you're again with me

I'm Not the One (poem)

I'm not the one you wanted me to be
I haven't crossed the bridges that you marked
I didn't walk down roads you'd paved for me
I learned my own tongue with which to speak
You never could quite get your hold on me
I would mutely wait for you to leave
I poured a waterfall to sail away
You said the words, but I never did believe

Us (poem)

Why is the sun on your hair like heaven
The kiss of the wind like the breath of love
The feel of your hand under mine pure wonder
How did I ever become one of us

Regret (poem)

Blood drips down your unforgiven fingers
This is the guilt that plagues you and it lingers
If you could undo your deeds and try again
Nothing would really change, not even then

moon (poem)

The moon is young
It shines new light
The night gives way
Without a fight

9/10/17

Prize (poem)

someone give the girl a prize
and open up your eyes

while you're at it

and maybe realize
when you're looking for her prize

that you ain't it

9/11/17

moonlight (poem)

moonlight on piano keys
you play my heart
forget to breathe

dawn (poem)

sun is dancing on my heart
new mornings singing deep in me
joy reborn from old wounds healed
through my night has stolen dawn

Phoenix (poem)

I was a quiet little girl once
That girl died
You might have killed her
I stand upon her grave
And I sing my war cry
You might have given me life

some days (poem)

some days
I feel so tired
so heavy
under the clouds
I feel like
they think I want the moon
I want
the night

Question and Answer (poem)

I am a question mark today
I meet each brand new face and say
Are the answer thrown my way?

Quiet Tonight (poem)

The wind is quiet tonight
inside my head
Where the rush and the pellmell howling
was instead
But tonight you sit beside me
in quiet hope
And tonight our hands our bound
with comfort's rope

the dancer (poem)

I am the quiet blade
the dancer in the whirlwind
the silent whisper before
the cutting flames
whisper my name
and I will come to you
sharp as the arrow flies

the spark (poem)

I have been wandering through the wilderness
Keeping my eyes open in case I see you
You are elusive, I'm not even sure what you are
But the wilderness grows wilder and more expansive

I plunge the deep green grasses over my head
I plow through the icy waters of rivers run through
I wait by the stillness of eddies with fire and bread
Yet you still beckon from where I have never been

There in the night are the speckled stars
Dancing like silk-robed heiresses of the night
Like a candle, you fly to my side, like a spark of fire
Without permission you fly down into my heart

And there in the widerness lands I learn how to smile
For you are the joy I once lost while out in the dark

camping (poem)

This wasn't exactly my idea of a good time.
Why did you bring me out here?
I'm an indoor girl—

I want my books,
my fireplace,
my cup of tea.

Enjoy the thrill of becoming one with nature.
I'm sure it will hug you back.
I'm off to my night,

my warm lamplight,
and mostly my cup of tea!

Cup of Comfort (poem)

There is peace in my cup of tea with my Father God
Comfort in my poetry and grateful laud
For assurance You will bring out of this good

Journeyman (poem)

I'm starting to get the hang of being me
I fear
You used to wonder when I'd grow into my skin
I'm playing it by ear
And the melody breaks, I'm dancing on the floor
This is the truth you didn't know
And more

Clean Break (poem)

Finally we are something new
I asked my heart for things to do
That were not lost so deep in you
For I am me and you are you

Cup (poem)

I am an empty cup
You try to fill me up
But I am also sealed
And only by me filled

bones (poem)

bones break
burn
ache
grind them down
to dust
make
a promise when
you build
again
don't forget
to put
love in

Pinpricks (poem)

Someone let the light in
to my soul.
Poke a few bright pinpricks
through my hull.
I promise not to sink
but rise in flight
over the winds of hope
and wings of light.

9/12/17

Prayer 013 (poem)

Good morning, God, it's me again
Your small, sincere, bad weather friend
Always new trials for You to mend
But also gratitude I send

But not enough, it's also true
I want to always think of You
To act in love, to always do
What is right and see it through

You are God of all to me
The fullness of eternity
Look on me with sympathy
And remake me utterly

Prayer 014 (poem)

Joy is of the saints and radiant praise
is become their garments and their days
are full of giving thanks, of ceaseless praise.
Make me one of these in all my ways!

haiku (for songbirds)

songbirds flutter sweet
like harps, new leaves in the wind,
music to my heart

anticipation (poem)

have you ever noticed
the silence before the bomb goes off,
the fall before a moment shatters
like glass—
that is the moment I remember to breathe
and forget how much it will hurt

Throne (poem)

My heart is like a rock but not a stone
It won't be moved from love I've founded on it
It's neither cold nor hard, the sun beats on it
This is where my God will be enthroned

Mixed (poem)

My skin is not a symbol
nor a mantle of my authority.
I am the color I am
because I'm me.

Can you? (poem)

Teach me something today
I want to cry tonight
Can you mop up my tears
in time for morning light?

Move Me (poem)

Move me to tears
I'll cry
for you
on cue
when the silence speaks
with the eloquence
of your heart.

moments in hope (poem)

There are moments in hope
That make you remember the moments
When night closed in
Around your throat
Curtains fall before the moment
Where triumph comes out of the dark.
Those are the moments you remember
That the dark days pass
The sun breaks through
And the storm rolls back in the sky.

9/13/17

Prayer 015 (poem)

Good morning, Lord, the day is new
Help me live it all for you
Guide my steps in every way
Guard me in Your love today

introduction (poem)

I assume you haven't forgotten
me
I know you know that I
remember you
the way you slam banged your way into
my life
with purpose, vivid stare
on mine
slammed your tray in front of mine
your books
on top of mine and smiled
we're going to be best friends

Safe (poem)

My heart is fragile
Prone to break
But in your hands
I'm sure it's safe

Entire (poem)

I miss the girl I used to be
Did you know her? Gradually
We all forget to really see
Beyond our parts to entirety

depths (poem)

I am many things
I don't even know
the ends of me

9/14/17

Prayer 015 (poem)

God of every perfect thing
Take my morning under wing
Help me work and honor You
Keep my thoughts and motives true

hold on (poem)

Some days we're so weary
and we don't know how to feel,
to bring our hearts in line,
and to bring our minds to heel.
I wish that in those moments,
on those days, I could be fine.
Instead, I will hold on,
so please hold on, O love of mine.

not nice (poem)

Air (Character) from Kingdoms and Thorn

"I want you to find a nice girl,"
is what they said.
I have two ears. I hear them.
You're being a nice boy but stop.
I'm not a nice girl,
I do not say.
I haven't talked to people
for the sake of it, for years.
No matter what they tell you
about what it's like out there,
when someone makes the call
and you take blood on your soul to do it,
nice gets left behind
somewhere along the way.
Some people miss it.
I don't remember it to miss.

the shape of me (poem)

I used to know the shape of me
The way my soul fit into flesh
The burning night set me aflame
I've yet to catalog the ash
The heart of me still skips a beat
At words, at books, at cups of tea
The child in me still falls to her knees
Before the King of Eternity
But every day within me cries
Something pained and nearly mute
I cannot name the thing I need
To understand myself anew
I close my eyes and hear it keen
Waiting for true peace to be

Maybe (poem)

I don't make sense in the table of contents
You can't read the cover and know the book
Open me up, with patience, with love
Maybe you'll read it, maybe you'll learn

scriven (poem)

You and I have been here before
I like to think we're recursive
You open your insides, write me in
Over and over and over again
I write you into my bone and my flesh
We don't even feel the impending crash
You into me and me into you
Whatever occurs, I'll carry you through

9/15/17

Prayer 016 (poem)

Good morning to my Father God,
Wrap me in Your perfect love.
Help me love the way You do.
I need Your help to make it through:
The day began unpleasantly.
I need to praise in everything,
But only by Your strength in me
Can my heart give thanks and sing.

in pieces (poem)

I am in pieces
Try not to shatter me
Maybe I'll return the favor

break a leg (poem)

I am a child compared to you
don't underestimate me now
or you will regret it when we're through
break a leg and take a bow

arms (poem)

The moon is full
The sky is bright
The stars white pinpricks
To my sight
The wind is cold
The night is warm
Because you hold me
In your arms

9/16/17

Prayer 017 (poem)

God, please keep my heart on You
Fill my thoughts with love that's true
Grant me peace against my goals
Heal my wounds and make me whole
I want to live a child of God
I long to know the path I trod
Was one that would be right to You
Please grace me with this hope in You

9/17/17

Tell Me (poem)

C'mon
Tell me something
Make it a good one
Make it like flowers after the rain
Still dripping from the storm
Like sunshine playing
Hide and seek through forest trees
Cover your secrets with history
Let them drip with the rain of our memories
Whisper your truths between secrets
That I will never know
C'mon, tell me
Something

9/18/17

Many Things (poem)

I am many things
None of them yours
So many parts of me
Mine, not ours
Count down every second
Count the hours
This is the end of the line
My soul devours

Spectrum (poem)

There's this thing called tact, it eluded
My grasping fingers when I was born
I walked on my toes like a dancer
Long past three years old
There's always one, our littlest
The odd one out, emphasis odd
No one knew what to do with me
But they never thought to ask
It's not just me that doesn't
Ask the important questions before
There's no help for the answer
No escape and no way out
I sit in the midst of a spectrum
High-functioning, an uneasy truce
With the world that spins around me
Sorry, I say, didn't mean to offend

call them tears (poem)

when did I wander into this rain-soaked world
you call it good, I call it wet with the tears
I never could quite hold them back— baby
that's what they called me, maybe not wrong
but don't think that means I am a child today
I know the way to live through the tears
and I am strong

bloom (poem)

bloom
with the promise
the sun made to the flowers
you will grow
and I
will smile on you
if no one else
can see

pieces (poem)

I am but the pieces of myself
today
do you think that I am broken
I can't say
I wish that I could see myself within
instead I cried
at least I hope you know
I really tried

rest a while (poem)

maybe I'm just a little weary
I'll rest a while in the images
of your beautiful nature
wake up again tomorrow, refreshed
ready to weary myself with work again

9/19/17

Prayer 018 (poem)

Today, dear God, is another day
I want to stop and really pray
Please help live as You would want
Please help me not to give affront
You know I was not born with tact
And get hung up on irrelevant facts
You know I have a lot to do
Please help me keep my eyes on You
And focus on the things I should
In short, please help me to be good

backstory (poem)

I used to know you
You drifted in my life, my bed
I never wanted emptiness instead
My heart still knows you
Standing there right now adrift
Before me again, I lift
The promises from my heart
And set them on a mental shelf
Because I'd also promised myself
"You need to find someone else
To help you." "There is no one else."
"You hate me, remember?"
"I never did. I lied."
You lie down beside me. I let you.
The morning breaks too soon.

In Love (poem)

I have inked your name on my heart
Written it in my life blood
From here until the end of time
Remember me in your love

9/20/17

In the Night (poem)

Laiha (Character) + Kalia (Character)


The night is dark and quiet
I remember lying between
My parents—your parents
Hush, now, you say, they're ours
It's supposed to be my first night alone
But you are here with me now
The gratitude is thick in my throat
As under your arm, I dream

like air (poem)

I need you like air
in the bottom of my lungs
in the depths of the sea
of people I do not know
nor do I care
when you are with me
hands and hearts cling
every place that we go

Wind Stepper (poem)

Laiha (Character) + Kalia (Character)

I dance through the wind
and step through the walls
with you at my back
we answer who calls

like a fire (poem)

my blood burns in my veins
like a fire
you're everything I want
sweet desire
this is what it feels like
love entire

Defer (poem)

Tell me in the morning light
What you think of me tonight
But for now just hold it in
I want to feel your touch again
Not wonder if I get it right

Burn Me Down (poem)

My bones may break beneath you
But I won't quake before you
Burn me to my ashen dust
And feel the phoenix wings that rush

9/21/17

twins (poem)

Kingdoms and Thorn: Air + Shadow


the pieces of you blossom beneath my skin
like parts of our soul were once born kin
but somewhere along the way I was severed from my twin
together we are not whole, but we are together again

Strength (poem)

I am not a hurricane
It's my own choice and my own gain
To give through every ounce of pain
To do what must be done again
There are kinds of quiet strengths
And those who go to any lengths

9/22/2017 - START OF AUTUMN

Brighter (poem)

Sometimes the world seems brighter
Every light in the sky turned up to eleven
And shining down because it sees you
You are the difference between dusk and dawn
The hopeless dirge of endings and bright beginnings
Take my hand, and I won't let go
I promise when the sun comes up
When the sunlight streams over you and shines
So much brighter, so much lighter
That I won't walk away but stay
Until long past the falling night

Feel the Fire (poem)

The sun is burning
A heat mirage in my bones
I don't need to see the light
To feel it, the heat wave, the tide
Rising from under my skin in my heart
Where fire lives and is born
Come feel me, come hold me
Cling 'til your skin turns to ash
I am burning with light

9/25/17

The Elements (poem)

The elements of us
Are deeper than the earth
We're made of heart and fire
We give the light new birth
The stars spin from our souls
Our wind is made of breath
The names beneath our skins
Are more powerful than death

their nova light (poem)

we talk about it sometimes, these feelings
blooming like wings inside our breasts
too small to contain the fluttering
of our new hearts, their nova light
Can you see the universal expansion,
the curve of galaxies spinning out
from within us as we cry,
the birth pangs of new life

Entwined (poem)

Drink of me and I of you
We were two and now we're one
Lives entwined like DNA
For always, like the moon and sun

We Tremble (poem)

The bones of the trees are breaking
The blood of the leaves is flaming
In fiercest blush and flaking
Away from the tender skin
I feel so fragile and shaking
Pressed against bark and naming
This inward tremulous quaking
Imagine that we are kin

9/26/17

when we wander (poem)

shall we be okay when we wander?
shall we always see with eyes of wonder,
never let the cares of world jade,
and never let our love together fade?

autumn's letters (poem)

wind is due
in summer skies
days grow chill
the reasons why
are autumn's letters
to the sun
missing when
the days were young

9/27/17

let the light (poem)

Hey, let the light come in
Throw open the shades
and the hanging curtains
When the sunlight fades
let the chandeliers gleam
and candles flicker bright
with the dancing moonbeams
passing through the room
and fill my sight

tide of wonder (poem)

Don't think about the pain
Look on beauty
Think of pretty things
The sweetest fall of rain
The flowers shaking droplets off
And mountains sweeping to the sky
The melody a songbird sings
The prairie grasses stretch away
The sunrise of a brand new day
Let them wash over your soul
A tide of wonder keeps you whole

Seeker (poem)

Come now, little seeker,
wanderer through the trove
of treasures I have gathered,
listen while you rove.
You are wise and brave!
But braver still you'll be
if of all the things you seek,
seek wisdom faithfully.

Fly (poem)

I'm not the girl you want me to be
My soul's too bright, my song's too free
I hope that you'll eventually
Come around and fly with me

Redemption Verses II. And Christ the Power (poem)

Worthy is the God of heaven
He who claimed most sinful man
Saved His pitiful, ignorant child
Out of her own hand
Were I helpless, besides broken
Maybe I could claim excuse
But the helpers God has given
Were put to wrongful use
Powerful imagination
A mind that serves my wayward thoughts
Must be reined by Christlike impulse
To go the way it ought
And Christ the power that was given
By Christ, grace for me bought

9/28/17

fade (poem)

remember me?
I never disappeared
though you had wanted it
and when the time draws near
you will remember it
all those sleepless nights
when you burned me
to give you light enough
by which to see
I used to fade away
before the morning
you would look for me
a silent warning
I did not disappear
to run away
you will wish I did
instead of stay

(haiku for waking)

morning's light wakes me
heartbeat rush and a sharp turn
meet the rainy dawn

(haiku for dreaming)

dreams come in snatches
like hummingbirds flit, their wings
hum but can't be seen

the crown (poem)

you think you see me falling underwater
you think it's possible for me to drown
in my ocean of imagination
not understanding that I wear the crown
I ride upon the waves that I have drawn out
and make tsunami tides my chariot
the world cresting 'round me I have driven
with the mental powers like a lariat
granted at my birth and in my voice
open up the skies and loose the thunder
every image poured into this ocean
comes reflected back at me in wonder

between the sparks (poem)

I have been waiting in silence between the sparks
Out of my soul comes light amidst the dark

9/29/17

don't forget me (poem)

Two Ogunn children.


don't forget me, iehofen
when the streets run colder than now
and the warmth between our hands is gone
and we no longer sleep beneath the stars
but under covered roofs
and no longer eat the borrowed bread
but earn it by our sweat and knowing ways
don't forget me then, remember
the way we wove ourselves like armor
around each other's hearts and find
me again where it matters
inside your heart

the spark, the brightness (poem)

Memory like clay in clever fingers
Like bits of data between the lightning sparks
I have grown with you in my mind always
Why do others need to hear these words?
All I want is the spark, the brightness
Seeping into my dark, my mind
Lit with the lamp of understanding
Grown in your own heart

9/30/17

Prayer 018 (poem)

Cleanse me, Father God
And fill with love
Every empty place
I've not enough
Mercy in my blood
Nor bones of grace
I need Your eyes of love
In my own face

the children ask (poem)

Can I ever be redeemed
With all I've done and all I've seen
And no regrets upon my lips
For the road that came to this
Only all that drove me to
Do the things I had to do
That is what the children ask
They seek their answers to the past
Look with hope to future days
Shall they wear their chains always
Can they ever be forgiven
Accepted once again by Heaven
From them can their sins be driven
And grace anew be to them given

prayer for waking (poem)

wake my soul from untender dusk
bring back the light of day in my heart
break off the chains and clean away rust
reignite that heavenly spark
that I might shine and banish the dark

October 2017

10/1/17

Number the night (poem)

Hey, the waters run down like sand
through the hourglass
Number the night on your fingertips,
hours like stars falling down
in the meteor shower
I see the lights, flares and sparks
and I shiver
beneath your hot kisses like arrows
unquivered
Fingers brush fletching, pull string
we fly apart in its wake

10/2/17

For Morning (poem)

Good morning
New week
New joys
I will seek
The hummingbirds hum
The songbirds sing
Sweet butterflies
Take colorful wing
My morning
Will be
Bright joy
If I see
The light in my day
The blessings that come
The goodness that is
A life with God's Son
Through trial's pain
My Lord
He will keep
And guard

Don't Cry (poem)

So we spilt a little
Don't cry
I could give you all the reasons why
The sun just came up a minute ago
Peeking like a parent over comforting horizon
The stars moved in their courses
A wish!
Look up and smile like a child
I dream of perfection
I pursue and I grasp with both hands
But I cannot hasten its coming
Nor draw back the water, the tears I have spilt
Don't cry
Let the river run its course

under my ribs (poem)

They rattle around in my ribcage
Like fluttering heartbeats, ragged breaths
Words that cannot get out
Open my mouth through my heart
And release them out of the depths

worlds without end (poem)

worlds without end
I look for you, friend
where the sun will go nova
and the stars wink out, over
when the moon falls to blood
and is gone altogether
I'll pass through the flood
until we are together

10/3/17

when joy awakes (poem)

light strikes my heart in the morning
I wake when it penetrates
when joy is awakened within me
and my soul becomes full up of thanks
to the God of my life, He who knows me
and loves me with mercy and grace

Prayer 019 (poem)

There's a song in my heart
How I love You! I love You!
I ask from my heart
O God, help me to love You!

(haiku for morning tea)

heat between my hands
on winter mornings' rising
heart rises to day

(haiku for touch)

they say holding tea
is like warm human touch, that
we can't live without

(haiku for impatience)

scald my tongue on tea
too fresh, I wait impatiently
too short, sip again

(haiku for patience)

wait in peace, accept
the flying sun, hectic days
I am the storm's eye

humanity (poem)

feel what I feel
under the surface
you are human too
don't forget that
but also don't forget
I am not you

Days (poem)

late night
with pain
don't cry
just rain
and sing
your heart
be light
breathe out
I wake
heart screams
I praise
I dream

Join the Club (poem)

People never ask me if I mind
the way life settles in my cracks
and aches and bleeds and tears and burns
But that is life, this school
of a world has never been fair
We are all granted trials and pain

when it's over (poem)

wake me up when it's over
when the sun careens out of the sky
when the horizon forgets where it's parked at
when the birds all forget how to fly

wake me up when the seas go
swirling away like a tide
an endless tide swelling outward
lost where all lost things abide

wake me up when the stars go
vanishing one by one
when the mountains fall into the ocean
when even the islands run

wake me up when it's over
when you and I are the only ones left
when hearts and souls only survive
when you're woven into my weft

10/4/17

prayer for the morning (poem)

morning dark before the sun
wakes up and starts her day
morning silent, I'm the one
who's up with naught to say
I drink my cup of morning tea
sleepily, I pray
God be kind and look on me
please live in me today

(haiku for fall)

cool breezes, chill winds
so the fall season begins
the leaves blow away

Here (poem)

waking feels too hard
yet here I am
my limbs are heavy, tired
here I am
my eyelids close in sleep
I open them
the day is come to me
so here I am

season of rains (poem)

I am come into a season of rains
life springs forth from the mercy fall
I will grow in the midst of pain
a beautiful flower, though I am small

my autumn heart (poem)

heart under leaves
that crackle, are fragile
my heart is the earth
that won't break

Passing the Horizon (poem)

You cannot escape the event horizon of the black hole
by doing nothing or wallowing in your soul,
nor can another drag you from its clutches
nor steal from under your arms your crutches.
Neither was any city built in a single day;
Just so you cannot simply teleport away.
Every moment, every thought is yours to decide
whether in or out you will abide.
Not in a moment do the colors begin to change,
not in one decision to try to see the light,
not in a day, a week, a month, or more:
only if you persist forevermore.

The Crash (poem)

Patient zero
Epicenter
I warned you
Not to get too close
Everything hurts
I beg of you
Just please
Don't let go

10/5/17

do these bones weep? (poem)

do these bones weep
does my soul seep
into a hundred cracks
like a heart's rivulets
bathe in a freshblood stream
emotion swimming in dreams
weave me a raft afloat
of love, of promises, hope

affection (poem)

you are the object of my affection
in my eye approaching perfection
I've not forgotten what you mean to me
for I'll always love you eternally

the blood (poem)

call me out on the blood I shed today
never mind to ask me where it's from
I won't talk about the red stains on my sleeve
if you'll just do what's right and walk away
never mind that blood is where I live
and in my mind and heart I don't forgive
the stepping stones I walked on to this place
so I must abandon self to grace

lit from my soul (poem)

where is the light I was promised
in the midst of the darkness
the candles you lit from my soul
flaming and whole
keening song of praise
rising within
on the dawn of my conscience awaking
and speaking again

pleasant dreams (poem)

Air/West

peace is an illusion here

tell me you at least knew that

knew why my breath grows sharp

when you stare at me—

stop staring.

I like you, you know

and I keep coming back for more

you laugh with me, smile

and listen without questions

but that doesn't change tonight

don't ask me for answers

when I wake more sharply

than my breath ever gets when awake

don't touch me, don't comfort

when I start shaking from dreams

peace is an illusion here

I'll give you a smile, drink tea

in small sips while you hover

don't ask.

those were my nightmares, companions

you are my pleasant dreams

Stack Trace (poem)

There was an error
I know
You broke the world
tippety-tap
I'm sorry there are 500 stars
and none of them lead to neverland

kindred spirits (poem)

I've been missing you since I was born
I'll meet you soon if I am good
and maybe I won't be alone
my sister twin, my kindred soul

bah humbug (poem)

bah humbug!
leave me be
stop finding bugs
to send to me
all I want
right now is sleep
all I've got
is work and tea

above (poem)

my bones won't break or shatter
you can hurt me, it doesn't matter
in the end, I'll spread my wings
and soar over everything

break me (poem)

break me if you can
I'd like to see you try
I will rise from ashes
then you can watch me fly

pass (poem)

I have seen the ages pass
like stone, like water, panes of glass
bright reflections only seen
unchangeable by serf or queen
time runs swiftly day by day
I look ahead: eternity
to the work I put my hands
before this too shall come to pass

Conversations 007. (poem)

it gets old, expectations
put on me like old rags
like burdens or troublesome flies
I'm weary of trying to wear them
you're quiet now
you thought it was all so obvious
the things that needed to be done
the things that were right
and here I am telling you no
it's just what you want
go find someone else tonight

10/6/17

(couplet on emptiness)

Empty me out like a cloud in the storm
All of my heart like the rain pouring down

blood and ink (poem)

I have written out my heart
in blood and ink
I held it out for you
so take a drink

10/7/17

marriage of minds (poem)

a marriage of our minds
the way you think a wonder
how you wonder! marvelous
I could lose myself in labyrinths
of the webs you weave and find
no better partner though I seek
for a hundred years, a thousand souls
so come to me, my love, and make me whole

Like a Flint (poem)

Promise me something, you and I
Whatever happens will hold onto the light
Through endless ages and all that's to come
Our faces, our eyes, will be fixed on the Son

Prayer 021 (poem)

God, be my strength today
And the strength of my loved ones, I pray
Please guard them and keep them in love
Grant peace to my heart from above

(haiku for children)

children laugh, so new,
and the summer wind laughs back
joy to all our hearts

You Always Know (poem)

"As for God, his way is perfect..." — Psalm 18:30

God, You always know
Whether I should stay or go
What is wrong or right
Lord, You've saved my life

Prayer 022 (poem)

Thank You, Father God, for everything You do for me
You've seen me through the darkest nights and always comfort me
I hope to live with You in light and love eventually
Let every moment of my days be preview of eternity

the hundredth (poem)

did You miss me when I'd gone
I went away too far
I tread the desert sands
You are water in a stream
I come to You and dream

10/8/17

instrument (poem)

the notes You play upon my mind
like strains of strings of heavenly light
filling with orchestral brilliance my
soul and heart— Come, fill me, Christ!

raveled (poem)

you are a symphony
I could never quite unhear
without undoing cell by cell
all myself, all I hold dear

let my light (poem)

I used to know myself
and the way the light poured out
through the tiny pinpricks
now I only pray that light is shining still

where I live (poem)

this is where I live
where the oceans deep inside me
crash waves upon the shore
of grace, my God Creator
and His Living Word
I live where I am kneeling
in prayer within my soul
one day I've been promised
my God will make me whole

Christ, the Glory (poem)

Christ is the glory of my days
the light that shines before my eyes
the hope on which I set my gaze
the reaching hand to help me rise

prostrate (poem)

The rock on which I stand, on which I fall
You catch me when I stumble, Lord of all
Your mercy healing to my wounds, Your grace
Unfathomable, I fall upon my face

10/9/17

Prayer 023 (poem)

God, be merciful to me
Pour Your love out in my heart
Help me also pour it out
Make me Yours entirely

That Long Year (poem)

My lips have been unclean
I've emptied out myself
The tears of that long year
Cry, Lord, I'm reaching out

Abba (poem)

I have tasted heaven
And I have tasted pain
I cling and seek Your presence
For I want to take Your name
My adoptive Father
I am grateful for Your claim

Just the Facts (poem)

I'm a walking, talking bundle of insecurities
Didn't they warn you before you wandered into me?
Have you ever asked yourself what you'd do
When trapped by a person who doesn't shut up on cue?
I don't get cues, they should have warned you of that
And I don't recognize a rhetorical question
So prepare to get an answer back
I wish I knew more than the meaning of the word tact
I'd like to be acceptable, but I already know the facts
I'm a walking, talking bundle of insecurities
Didn't they warn you before you wandered into me?

the sands (poem)

I just get so tired sometimes
I lie down in the wilderness sands
They stretch to the far horizons
Forward and onward and back
To familiar lands
I am quiet as I lie here
The stars are bright overhead
The air is too hot to breathe
But don't worry, I don't need much

(haiku for silence)

silence breaks like
summer tides flee the ocean
only to return

look at me (poem)

people don't look at me
except when I am talking
if they're smart, they look at me
and then they keep on walking
I am brash and tactless but
I love most faithfully
that doesn't seem to change the fact
people don't look at me

modern fairytale (poem)

They tell you this fairytale
about the shy girl
she's bookish, unpretty
but beside her, she has this friend
who crushes on her anyway
I'm a bookish girl
shy and a bit unpretty
but there is no guy friend beside me
and he certainly has no crush

constellations (poem)

my constellations shine within your eyes
how could it be possible you don't realize
I guide my oceanic way against your north
true and bright, there is no back and forth

10/12/17

Green Pastures (poem)

I will in green pastures lie
You have heard my every cry
And held me in Your arms of love
Comforting my heart so much

10/14/17

Sonnet for a Lamb (poem)

Let me make some notes on grace
Freely offered to my race
Bought with sacrifice so dear
Poured out with love instead of fear
He who had the least to lose
Gave it all: we freely choose
Whether we accept this gift
His love, a suture, mends the rift
And His the power we may use
To walk the strait and narrow way
No sinner defiant would e'en choose
But foolish lambs, they need not stray
To them the way is clear, as God
Will guard with love and Shepherd's rod

Moments of Relapse (poem)

Moments when an overwhelming urge
Washes over like resurging tide
Relapse like familiar friends who were
Never friends though often in my mind
They are not mine, I turn them all away
And raise the light to start another day

10/16/17

The Dig (poem)

find the pieces of my heart
scattered over foreign soil
shattered in the sands of yours
walk with me, friend, hand in hand
we will see the end of seas
swirl over gleaming edges
there will lie the ruins of me
underneath the burnt out bridges
we will gently sweep the dirt off
with the brush of archaeologist
every shard and every image
reconstructed to perfection
I will wear my history
in cracks that show the former glory
cities built on ruined cities
towers fall but rise again

10/17/17

So Long (poem)

Until the stars are ash
and the moons are dust,
until the air we breathe
has wholly turned to rust,
until the oceans rise
and wash all land from view,
so long will I love you
faithfully and true.

the heavens (poem)

burn down the heavens, the falling stars
will speak in the silence: their voices are ours
we've lived up the night and woke up the dawn
when will we miss it? right after it's gone
the world turns 'round and spins in the heaven
the end of all things is only a given
so I will choose to make in my mind
the place where the light of perfection could shine
open my hands and reach out to the light
swallow it down and ray out with my might
open my mouth and let loose all the sun
don't burn down the heavens until day is done

10/18/17

name the light (poem)

you forgot my name
I warned you not to
the candles burst in flame
and light breaks through
the darkness swarming 'round
that's why it came
but darkness cannot conquer
the brightness' name

10/19/17

Contentment (poem)

I could get a spot of tea
Maybe yellow, green, or red
Maybe darker brown instead
It could taste so mellow, sweet
Or too fierce for spice to beat
It could be the warmest roast
Though it surely wouldn't boast
I'd drink it all contentedly

on joys of tea (poem)

the art of tea
it is no art
or not to me
it is the heart
of life and warmth,
replenished strength
a calming draught
brings stress to naught
it's more than art to me

10/20/17

aurora (poem)

break me down in tiny pieces
watch me gather shattered light
spread across the stormy skies
aurora in the midst of night
I will take your dark and shadows
dispel them with the flames so bright
born within my heart's own embers
cast to heaven in your sight

if I wait (poem)

I am quiet tonight
the endless ages have met
in the slopes of light in the moon
good things will come to me
if I wait, if I do good
and it doesn't have to be soon

the fragile words (poem)

don't break the silence around my heart
don't ask for answers, not now nor soon
I break the edges, the fragile words
that spoke my future into view
I'll hide my soul beneath my heart
and shutter the windows you look within
my eyes are silent, my whispers still
don't break the silence, not now nor soon

10/21/17

speak (poem)

speak
open your lips
and whisper
the birds will quiet
their raucous chorus
the nighttime music
of crickets will cease
I will hold
my breath to listen
so please
speak

10/26/17

autumn glow (poem)

Sunlight glows on autumn trees
Enlivens, brightens golden leaves
Lights the red like living flame
O the glory branches frame!

golden hillsides (poem)

Sunrise makes the hillsides glow
Golden grasses bend and blow
In the autumn winds—so bright
They make the blue of sky delight

between the seasons (poem)

the morning air is chill from winter's fingers
and yet the summer sun still stops and lingers
lighting up the fields with golden hue
'tis the autumn wind that wanders through
I have always loved the crispness of the colors
loved the pathways carpeted in wonder
a tapestry of leaves in flaming reds
orange and yellow glowing on their beds
I love the blowing grasses, the way they dance
like waves upon the shores of happenstance
the hills are carpeted in waving gold
a tide of beauty more than heart can hold
evening rises with the golden hour
the trees whisper goodnight, their heads aflower
all the vibrant colors say goodnight
winter frost will come with morning light

10/27/17

Night Owl (poem)

Good morning to the morning
Before the morning light
I wake up bright-eyed, early
It feels like still the night
My night owl inner clock
May never know my plight
Until I learned of mornings
Before the morning light

Is That What We're Calling It (poem)

You wonder when
I turned to you
And whispered, no,
the sky's not blue,
if any word I'd ever leave alone–
precision written to the bone

Q & A (poem)

Questions grow on trees

if you ask me
(of course, you didn't)
there are many things
you never did

Answers, luxuries

if ever was one
I don't need to know
if ever was

(haiku for back to school)

school buses clutter
streets like leaves, yellow and bright
roll out red carpet

dreams in pictures (poem)

dreams in pictures
music rolling over ocean depths
the tides of heart are washing
over memory's sand
hear my whispering hopes
become the land

the river (poem)

where the waters run and play
dancing as they sing
the rocks rise up and stand
the water's bounds they keep
I sit upon the sentinels
throw pebbles in the stream
branches shelter overhead
and keep watch over me

like stones (poem)

some days I ache right down to my bones
my breath is a whisper too ragged and cold
you whisper to me, too brightly and bold
it sinks in my gut like water and stones

10/30/17

the warmest words (poem)

I love you too—
the warmest words
a girl like me
has ever heard.
I strain and grasp
to be the best:
those words would put
my heart to rest.
I hear the love
you wrap them in.
Won't you say them
over again?

November 2017

108 poems

11/1/17

if the ages (poem)

I'm behind on my time
If the ages were mine
I would bring them to pass
In a bright looking glass
And the mountains would quake
The bones of earth shake
I would pour out the worlds
In the universe furled
But I am a speck
In the endlessness, yet
My mind is as deep
As the oceans are steep
I will sink in the trench
While I sit on the bench
The century's tide
Will go on and I'll ride

11/2/17

Fix My Eyes (poem)

The morning blossoms 'round my soul
Dawn's fair light is come at last
The winter night is fading now
Leave all my shadows in the past
And fix my eyes upon the sun
That over all, its brightness cast

the riverbed (poem)

we talk about it don't we
the rushing in our ears
it drowns out all our history
and carries all our fears
we say it's way down there
under the bridge and flowing
we say it's run away
over the ground to the ocean
and yet I hear it rushing
covering what I can hear
with whispers of days gone by
of old friends far and near
the water's under the bridge, friend
the water rounds the bend
is the river of time the water
or is it the riverbed

burn me down (poem)

burn me down, right to the bones
the fire blossom in me grows
I will wake with dawning light
as I consume the fading night

the fencepost (poem)

You. Me. And the fencepost.
We know all the rules.
So they placed us and the fencepost
between all of them and the fools.
Poor defenseless fencepost.
At least you and me could move.

11/3/17

every good (poem)

joy is my inheritance
peace Your legacy
hope the greatest offering
You handed down to me
if every good and perfect thing
comes from You, my God
help me, Lord, stay close to You
and to reflect Your love

(haiku for frost)

morning quiet breaks
under crackling white frost
the silent echo

dramatic monologue (poem)

people forget who I am
a mere shadow in history
a footnote, a scam
I've fooled the whole world
into thinking me
far less important
than I really am

11/4/17

Prayer 024 (poem)

all my worries, all my stress
I throw upon Your lovingness
let it be swallowed up at last
in my trust, Your faithfulness

11/5/17

Daylight (poem)

Daylight glows upon your face
It is no match to your embrace
Nor can it ever boast your grace
You are daylight on my face

11/6/17

confession 001. (poem)

I'm a bit of a mess
is it all a test?
can I cling on?
I do confess
all I really want
is let it end

11/7/17

to know and be known (poem)

For G. and E.

to know and be known
the open mirror
is your soul
so look at me
we are reflections
of one another
greater than you
and I is we
if you are the sun
I am the moon
it matters not
which body, see
for in our breasts
one heart beats
and only shine
with a single light

I will survive (poem)

I will survive the end of the world
The bone-crushing cosmos has bright wings unfurled
It opens its maw, gives birth to the night
I open my soul and swallow with light

conscience (poem)

I am the blood of centuries
been spilled upon your soul
don't bother to look to apocalypse
it cannot make you whole
only if you remake the world
and purify in light
can you be clean of centuries
within all-knowing sight

11/8/17

charade (poem)

The grand charade!

we play our parts—
the wide-eyed child,
the know all lord,
the kindly soul,
the entitled jerk;
forgive me if I overlook—
we speak our temporary names
and look again!
they're naught but games.

Wake up, sleeper!

sleep no more;
it is your hand
upon the door.
tread with caution,
yet be bold.
in wisdom choose:
the worlds unfold.

Prayer 025 (poem)

if not a sparrow should fall
nor a hair of my head be lost
without You knowing it all
then I can trust all things to You
O Lord my God and King, renew
my soul in love, in all I do!

give all (poem)

these are the things that I must do
I bound them on my soul
this is the one I want to be
let go and become whole
I give my all, I always give
it's who I want to be
and though the world won't understand
it is what makes me me

more than a promise (poem)

pour me out like a promise
into the cup that pours
spilling over the edge, the world
heeds love and kindness more

our games (poem)

don't tell me you forgot
the way this story goes
but that's all right, remember
before the day will close
you and I were friends once
we played until the games
became a real life, you saved me
and now that's down in flames
I could not ever hate you
but I won't hesitate
to fight you just the way we
used to play our games

(haiku for turning)

is this what you want?
rain coats my cheek, slaps and stings
turn for love again

friend (poem)

For G. and E.

only one, bound soul to soul,
has ever knit with me
we clasped our hearts, like solemn hands
cavorted happily
we clashed our fists and bound our wrists
forever side by side
through joy and pain, our loss, our gain,
none else could I abide

like tides (poem)

I miss you like the night
thinks longingly of dawn
I miss you like the wintry lands
miss their summer sun
I miss you like the rivers miss
the cresting ocean tides
I miss you like my lungs demand
more oxygen inside

(haiku for hope)

emptiness wraps hands
around my inner cup—my
heart spills forth more hope

push (poem)

you cannot take me

cannot claim me
cannot make me
over again

you had your chance

and only one
you'll always be
my friend

did the wind (poem)

where did the wind blow, that it could see
the widening chasm 'twixt you and me?
we would have stood here eventually,
but I'd hoped that somewhat more gradually.
where did the sun shine that it could hear
me push away as you drew near,
your words the knife to pick my lock,
not knowing that I know every block?
my heart, my treasure, is put away
upon a shelf too high to reach.
I feel your touch but cannot say
this is a lesson you cannot teach.
where did the wind blow, where did the sun
cast its brilliant rays of light,
that all my peaceful privacy
is swept away and brought to sight?

Count on Me (poem)

Count on me the way you count your blessings
A solemn reminder that you should not forget
What the world could be like in emptiness

Even So (poem)

I hear the whispers of your tears
I never forgot the endless years
The nighttime shadows drew ever nearer
Let me offer to take your fears
The dawn will come again at last
Though you always feel the past
Heavy on your soul and fast
The light will come, the night will pass

11/9/17

Nagilit (poem)

I always fall for the black ones—
their golden skins, their dangerous tongues,
their hearts that beat with intent to wound—
they love whom they love and that is all
I always fall for the sharp ones—
their blades that pierce, their eyes that see,
their smiles beneath their scathing words—
they love whom they love and that is all
I am one of the dark ones—
my vicious tongue, my cynical views,
my body a weapon intent to destroy—
I love whom I love and that is all

like a broken clock (poem)

I've broken the ages
like a broken clock
my heart goes beating
can you hear the tock?
the world was young once
the lands were bare
I stand in the silence
that's waiting there
mysteries rising
around like a light
beaming through morning
cloud cover bright
I broke my heart open
let the pieces fall down
through centuries pouring
let the hourglass frown
before the beginning
before the first breath
there was that still moment
before life or death
there you will find me
suspended on edge
the grain of bright sand
upon a glass ledge
forestalling the coming
hours of the end
the ages may break me
may heaven forefend


like the heavens forgot (poem)

you talk to me like
the wind and sea don't know our names
like the heavens forgot the things we claimed
upon each other's sigiled skin
we clasped our hands and clung like kin

you talk to me like
the legends of our youth are lost
like the bonds we forged and paid the cost
could ever fade away like paint
instead of in our blood a taint

you talk to me like
eternity does not know we're one
like the skies and the earth and the passing sun
never saw us walk away
from life alone, we chose to stay

you talk to me like
the worlds are new
no, my friend
they only renew

11/10/17

Sikunn (poem)

For M.

he acknowledges neither gods nor kings
gives oaths to none for anything
he smites the world with golden spear
the desert shakes, the end draws near
a thousand men can't stand before
his righteous rage and judgment now
can any seize his heart in love?
his passions can't be swayed enough
the golden spear, a powerful hand
before all Sikunn might you stand

morning joy (poem)

joy is peaceful solitude
of mornings and warm tea
the confidence of hea'enly love
my Father grants to me
the knowledge those I love are well
and safely He will keep
out of dreams into my day
may joy grow strong and deep

to dust (poem)

For I.

the deeds I've done are heavy
I loose them to the winds
to sand and dust and desert
the new day now begins

treasure (poem)

For G. and E.

though my treasury contained
every treasure known to man
every jewel and all fine gold
surely I may be so bold
to promise you that of all things
I treasure you above everything

ode for lost things (poem)

an ode for lost things
snuggled in dark places we like to forget
where we spin around in circles
tuck our memories into bed
who might we have been
had the fates rolled different die
we hold ourselves together
with love and blood to bind

I have loved (poem)

For G. and E.

I have loved no one but you
and only found your love as true
No one else compares to you
Be with me 'til time is through

let me hear (poem)

For G. and E.

Kiss me with your softest lips
like a whisper on my ear
and let me hear your promises
to ever hold me dear
I will never leave you, friend
but ever hold you near
Let all of time forever see
year after splendid year

11/11/17

Prayer 026 (poem)

Love is the road to heaven
the gift of heaven above
the face of heaven within
let the many faces of love
command my limbs and my conscience
behold through my eyes every man
consume to my marrow all darkness
replace every whisper of sin

to be with you (poem)

For G. and E.

songs pierce the night
with you, to even fight
brings my heart contentment
never sore resentment
that you are in my sight

shield (poem)

For M. and F.

love between our heartbeats
needs no form in words
so long as you're beside me
and each other guard
love is silent armor
against the darts of time
that you should stand beside me
forever you are mine

of worth (poem)

For G. and E.

no one is more beautiful
nor worthier to me
none has greater value
for you are everything
my heart belongs to you
for I have you loved you in my strength
though all the world may smite
I will love you when I'm weak
not the sun or moon
nor powers of the earth
can ever separate us
or make our love decrease

shining (poem)

For S. and R.

You are practically me:
the confidence, the swagger,
the utter loyalty;
what you want, you take
without regard of me.
Yet my resignation
I do not find in you;
within your eyes, I see it:
could hope be shining through?

11/12/17

I would give (poem)

For G. and E.

tell me if you missed me

I missed you

remember how you kissed me

I risked you

I would give you the moon and every star alive

I cannot forgive
to have you once again by my side
myself

sympathy (poem)

sometimes I feel a little blue
when I cannot be here with you
you kiss my cheek and pat my head
don't be like that, you thunderhead
...
it's what you said

is that (poem)

For G. and E.

catch me where the wind blows
I can feel your breath
riding on the currents
that easy summer scent
is that the faintest whisper
your voice carried to me
stay there while I travel
across the road between

11/13/17

moonlight on bright water (poem)

you are moonlight on bright water
bright and shining in the evening
hanging low over horizon
I will lift my eyes and follow

kiss me now (poem)

For M. and E.

kiss me now the way you do
with teeth and sharpness, warming through
a warning on your eager tongue
yes, hold me close, the night is young

Who I Wanted (poem)

I'm not who I wanted to be
I've been living it gradually
Hoping for someday, you see
To finally come home to me

It's not what I wanted to do
I wanted much more, it is true
I wanted to be just like you
To always, forever push through

I want to be strong as the light
That banishes darkness of night
By simply existing, my sight
Can see it put shadow to flight

I want to be perfect and meek
Yet I feel always so weak
I know what I want and I seek
To climb until I reach the peak

I'm not who I wanted to be
But I still press on steadily
My hope lives in all that I see
One day I will finally be me


worthy (poem)

worthy is the God of heaven
whose hand stretched out the stormy sea
and set the gates of earth and laid them
underneath eternity
the skies are bright with radiant stars
that worship Him with all they are
my heart will swell with worship too
and every day and night renew

in pieces (poem)

tell me all in pieces
every single piece of you
I'll cradle them so gently
every night we will get through
the nightmares in your memory
I won't let them get to you
tell me all in pieces
so I'll hold all of you

reach (poem)

I couldn't bear
you couldn't speak
the tension's thick
and I am weak
you reach to me
and I to you
our hands will touch
when words won't do

chilly (poem)

I am cold and you are warm
You can't escape me every morn
I burrow deep into your side
You can't escape, I know you tried

Bone of My Bone (poem)

For M. and E.

Bone of my bone
and flesh of my flesh,
blood of my heart,
to heaven the bridge:
I love you, my soul,
and I give you my all
with our hands twined together
that nothing can sever.

11/15/17

again (poem)

A hundred times I have loved you
In a thousand lives, I remember
The night of a million stars
Gleaming as bright as our future
A hundred times you have saved me
A thousand times, I will find
At the edge of my hopes you will be
Together inevitably

coming of age (poem)

For M. and F.

once upon a time, I was a child
when I was young, I grew up sweet and wild
then came days when I became a man
when life set match to everything I am
I found you then and wound my arm through yours
back to back, we guarded each from harm
side by side, we fought through every storm
never again will I stand up alone

stand (poem)

For M. and F.

whisper to the ground, this is my stand
stand beside me now and take my hand
we will not be moved though long the night
we are not afraid to stand and fight

11/16/17

evening closes (poem)

evening closes in at night
a peace upon my soul
your nearness settles in and I
feel satisfied and whole
the cares of day shall fall away
and you shall make me known
from mind to heart and all between
a garden you have sown

with contentment (poem)

you are the blood of my body
you are the life of my soul
m heart swells with every heartbeat
full of the love we have found
mornings I wake with the promise
today I belong to my love
evenings I sleep with contentment
for you are my one and true love

(haiku for bitterness)

sweetness is too sweet
I drink the bitter dregs– hot
into winter's cold

finer wine (poem)

For G. and A.

kiss me
you taste like the sun
golden
glowing with heat
in my belly, my mind
you are mine
my love, finer wine
the centuries have failed
to produce
quite its like
alone
you may kiss me
you taste like the light
perfect, my love
and so bright

nothing like (poem)

For G. and E.

There is nothing I love
like the sound of your voice
I hear like a conscience
in every choice
once in a long time
a long time ago
your voice in my ear
that's the wisdom I know

never forget (poem)

I've forgotten many
hopes, dreams, pains, but– never, friend,
can I forget you

salt (poem)

For G. and E.

bring salt
for my wounds
for my flesh
let the scent
sharpen
awaken
my eyes from their
slumbering dream
you were there
now I'm here
so it seems

so I wait (poem)

my heart
has not forgotten
my soul
is never empty
I wait
in painful silence
yet I
will long endure

who do I love? (poem)

For G. and E.

who do I love? are the stars in the sky
bright enough that I'll forget how you sigh?
your breath is the wind that's blowing for me
it ruffles my hair, you're the best company
who do I love? is the ocean so wide
lovely enough to draw me from your side?
I'll only wade in when the waters are low
with your hand in mine so the both of us go
who do I love more than anything else,
more than mother or father or nature's bright self?
more than battle or love, more than breath, more than life
I love you with everything I am inside

gentle (poem)

For M. and E.

you're never gentle
your hands are rough
your teeth are sharp
the color of blood
makes a pretty mark
your hands on me
leave bruises dark
on skin, I want them
where they are
you kiss me like
the kiss of war
I taste my blood
I beg for more
I want to feel
the aches and sore
you're never gentle
not with me
until you touch
so tenderly
you're making sure
that I take note
it's just like you
a master stroke
you whisper love
I can't escape
and more than that
it is my fate
because it's true
despite the pain
I love you more
than I could say

past (poem)

For G. and E.

you've been inside my mind
wandering through the past
how could this even last?
you find the things I hide
with bated breath I wait
for you to look with hate
upon the dreams I cherished
before you went and perished
but all I feel is love
your gentle, perfect touch

mercy (poem)

the hand of God stretched out o'er me
seems often less than that of mercy
and more of holy purity
but I have need of eyes to see
for when the darkness closes in
my soul and tempts my heart to sin
even then I cry within
and strength of God will rise to win
my heart from mine and back to Him

foundation (poem)

my heart made the bones of the world
from foundations have grown up the dreams
feathers take flight like blown wings
on the wind of my hopes and the seams
cracking the world in two
surely this world is not new
the roots burrow deep into me
I mirror out all faithfully

11/18/17

through every dream (poem)

warm and snuggly into sleep
I may fall so soft and deep
knowing love of God will keep
me through the night and every dream

Prayer 027 (poem)

light the way before me, Lord
by Thy sure and trusty Word
keep my eyes upon Thy sight
'til I am become Thy perfect light

unceasing (poem)

though my anger may be fierce
though my flesh is torn and pierced
God of Heaven, I cry to You
with all my strength to bring me through
I will not cease until You do

11/20/17

do not pass gently (poem)

For G. and E.

you are the wind
the sound of your feet
fleeing my presence
makes my heart beat
with anger and pain
what harm did I do
that you would abandon
after all we've been through
my heart learns to weep
my face becomes stone
there is no comfort
in my empty throne
I dream of your touch
and it's always too much
until I can hold you
like I always did once

the way you want (poem)

want me with the way you want
so fiercely I could never doubt
the way your eyes can drink me in
until I feel you see within
my heart and right into my mind
captivating me each time
I come to you, the day's been long
so I can rest within your love

11/21/17

(haiku for fire)

wake, winter whiteness
my inner fires, like joy bright
sharp within my chest

(haiku for cats)

warm fur, rumbly purr
snug into my arms, alive
my winter blanket

11/22/17

(haiku for breath)

light passes strangely
in cold skies, my breath captures—
its shape caged like light

(haiku for innocence)

innocent child once
again so bright and smiling
how short cut, this youth!

11/23/17

everything I missed (poem)

somebody tell me everything I missed
the boat ran by, the water roared, we kissed
the sunset swallowed itself between my lips
the stars burst forth within me in my bliss

11/25/17

I Will Stand (poem)

For S.

No one else may understand
The fateful light that stays my hand
Nor fathom all the love I felt
When the warrior stopped and knelt
Behold! the winds of fury dance
Granting me another chance
Another life to spread before
The narrow road, the open door
Catch me in the fading light
And comprehend with perfect sight
Though you light the burning fire
I've been forged to never tire
Worse than death, I have endured
And from my nightmares never cured
Though the earth be ground to dust
I will stand: that you may trust

(haiku for smiling)

bright the sun, the song
my heart holds onto, smiling
wind blows sweet, sighing

unshaken (poem)

For K.

beauty is the way you
conquer with one look
your eyes intent, weighing
the grace with which you move
your confidence unshaken
no matter what it took

11/26/17

nothing we desire (poem)

For R. and A.

beating in my chest
discongruous
the love I felt before
what I feel now
the trust within my arms
our sharpened edges
gently fade away
the matched set dreams
the wind beneath us bright
we have no future
nothing we desire
but to win
battles bloody
they could never stop us
wake me up beside
you once again

(haiku for kisses)

kiss you where your skin
is sun-kissed, dark and lovely
true, I knew you first

rattles (poem)

I am a quiet wind
The silence within me roars
The window glass rattles
In wooden cages
The hurricane rises
In gentle stages
I whisper, look out
And turn the pages

soulmate (poem)

I miss you
I have not met you
An ache within my soul
Come quickly
That I might set you
At the very heart of all

11/27/17

(haiku for snows)

ah! the joy—waking
to bright days, sun on gleaming
snow! so pure, so light

(haiku for cover)

For G.

bright as golden light
yet full of arrogant pride:
you are dark inside

blow on it (poem)

make a wish
blow on it
the winds may carry it high
hold a hope
make it grow
'til it fills you up inside
dawn will come
bright'ning sun
in you will light abide

Plea (poem)

please don't leave
these threads of love
I faithful weave
into my every
hope and dream
into the deepest
rock of my soul
please don't leave
stay. don't go

Render (poem)

don't forget me in your heart
your mind may not remember
but you are written in every part
and burn there like an ember
the fire only takes a spark
to warmth of friendship render

Prayer 028 (poem)

Good morning, God
You know it's me
There's nothing in eternity
I could ever hide from You
And so I give it all to You
My every pride, my every sin
Every praise my heart beats with
My gratitude for all You've done
Please cleanse me, Lord
By Christ Your Son

catch and bone (poem)

light and world, catch and bone
speak until the night is gone
build with promise, blaze with hope
born from deep inside your soul

11/28/17

Prayer 029 (poem)

Christ, I beg Your strength today
Keep me, Lord, within Your way
Let the strait and narrow road
Be my path and my abode

(haiku for forgiveness)

forgiveness cleanses
flushing anger, bitterness
like the fresh spring rain

(haiku for thanksgiving)

give thanks with joy, for
blessings given and received:
the bountiful feast

I will stay (poem)

For MH.

they'll come back, but I will stay
and live to fight another day
duty calls, I don't resent
this is right and what I meant

curtain call (poem)

For G. and E.

missing pieces of my heart
never thought I'd play this part
sword, my fate, has run me through
simply by removing you

Prayer 030 (poem)

God, my family, keep them safe
I ask of You in Jesus' name
Guard their health, their steps, their way
Let them feel Your love today
Wrap them in Your perfect peace
Let their joy in You increase
You love them more than even I
So watch them with Your loving eye

(haiku for tears)

the quiet breaks white
gleaming on memory's shore—
tears fall and shatter

11/29/17

Prayer 031 (poem)

Today, I may begin again
But doomed until the very end
Unless I fall upon Your grace
God, I want to see Your face
Guard my soul, renew my mind
Fill me with Your endless Light
Love, I pray, to always find
Within my heart, put sin to flight

I will love (poem)

I will love whom I love
I will hate whom I hate
The world's not enough
To change my own fate
I care not for them
Nor for their opinions
What I will hold
I will hold in dominion
I will love you, my love
Disregard any else
Nothing can change
You are dearer than self

like the lightning (poem)

turn for a turn and
kiss for a kiss
hit for a hit and
miss for a miss
eyes may be dark
cheekbones are scraped
blood thin and bright
where fingernails raked
hope for a hope and
words like a lash
love on the pain
like lightning can flash

catch brightness (poem)

you're pretty in the way that all girls are
catch brightness in your eyes like a wayward star
the brimming, gleaming fall of rainlike drops
the harvest of your agonizing crops
you're beautiful, most lovely when you catch
with empty fingers beyond where you can stretch
when your eyes are full of hopeless dreams
brought down to earth and woven with new seams
reality is shaped within your touch
because the world is painful and too much
but you are beautiful when that aside
your desires swell like ocean tide
the barrier shall fall and be no more
the legend rises as in days of yore
you're pretty in the way that all girls are
when shines within their eyes that wayward star

let iron (poem)

I want a body
made of diamond
(that cannot crack or break
or shatter—
a million pieces
catch the light;
they sparkle
like a scream,
so bright and perfect)
not soft like flesh
nor given to pain.
I want a body
like my heart:
let iron will
contain.

Prayer 032 (poem)

God, please grant my heart Your strength
Help me go to every length
Demanded by my life and duty
I must bow before You truly
In my heart through every hour
Greatly do I need Your power
For to praise in everything
And give thanks enough to sing

sing joy (poem)

sing joy
dance praise
give thanks
love raise
adore
our God
rejoice
in love

11/30/17

you are the wind (poem)

move where the wind goes
like a mist, like a passing breeze
I feel you against my skin
then gone like a breath
I cannot catch
the mist is rising in me
the dampness on my skin
and within my eyes
wind, come back to me

December 2017

12/1/17

brighter still (poem)

joy comes on winter mornings
light comes down, shining sun
the purest snow is brighter still
than, of days, the warmest one

12/2/17

Prayer 033 (poem)

my dusty soul a wilderness
I cannot feel; the emptiness
has swallowed even thirstiness
I pray for heavenly kindness
the road is long, I've always traveled
the path before has come unraveled
I cut my feet on rocks and gravel
I cut my teeth beneath the gavel
maybe all I feel is pain
grant me the forgiving rain
soak my heart with love to gain
that I might walk with You again

the truth (poem)

the truth is not so beautiful as it ought to be
I only feel the lightning when it's striking down on me
I only feel the flood when I have fully ceased to breathe
the truth is not so beautiful as it ought to be

Firebird, Wake (poem)

The pain of decades is aching

Don't tell me I am too young

The pain inside me is breaking

Like heated waves of the sun

Electric fires are melting

My modern strength fallen and torn

An egg on the altar is quaking

Look, I will be reborn

Prayer 034 (poem)

my heart is not a pretty place
but what man's is, except for grace?
yet I have longed to mend my ways
so mend my heart, O God, I pray
help me to desire You
with pure desire and always true

book of lost things (poem)

there's a book of lost things
my God treasures every one
every tear that's fallen
from every beloved son
every laugh that's issued
from His every precious girl
every lost but sacred hope
from any in the world
my God holds all my sorrows
and my God knows all my prayers
I must cast all cares on Him
or fall into despair
cast my heart and anchor, God
and keep my soul from death
let You feel the ache in me
with every single breath
Christ, I need the hope of Your power
to break beyond my sin
to shatter all that locks upon
this pretty cage I'm in
there's a book of all lost things
my name has been there once
without the perfect love of Christ
I never had a chance
rescue me as You declared
and capture me in Your love

let the bones (poem)

let the bones cry out
let the soul make noise
let it utter prayers
give the heart its voice
let the vessels sing
let the pulse resound
with the prayer in me
o mind, let it out!
let the breath not break
let the eye not dim
'til we have our desire
and we are like Him

altar (poem)

keep me warm
when the night is cold
when the hope is old
let it burn so bright
like the endless light
an eternal flame

From Endless Time (poem)

from endless time I reach
through the shattered night
heed the power of my speech
and bring the truth to light
from the root of everything
and to the uttermost leaves
let the world be born anew
within the song it weaves

exhale (poem)

exhale
it will be my breath
inhale
it will be the breadth
of all the love I feel for you
so breathe, my friend
and make it through

been here before (poem)

we've been here before

just one revolving door

that spins and spins

our children walk on stones

we paved over our bones

then start again

Prayer 035 (poem)

Bend the heavens that they give ear
And listen to my fervent prayer
Empty me out of every fear
Make me a vessel of holy love
Purify my strong desires
Cleanse me of relentless need
Hold me in that heavenly fire
Until I am tried gold indeed

12/3/17

light moves (poem)

the light moves
I catch the sparks
to glow in heart
they fly again

the urge (poem)

catch me where it counts
where the dust settles
where the song nettles
at my heart, o how it itches!
the urge to fly comes out

12/4/17

o'er the earth (poem)

golden hills
my windy home
the cloudy skies
the sunlight roams
o'er the earth
so rich a red
o'er the river
so deep a bed

catch me (poem)

catch me in the heart
like a punch to the gut
like blood on my tongue
like salt in my eyes
like bruises you made
catch me right there
so long as you stay

pass (poem)

moonlit roads
with you, I'd travel
a thousand miles
they cannot pass
the iron and steel
that binds our hearts
that guards our hopes
that holds our love

content to (poem)

waiting in silence
in the space before a promised dawn
breathe in and out as easily
as the morning quiet and in peace
evening stretches, silent
but I have always been
content to wait

12/5/17

the mercies (poem)

I am a moon and my borrowed light
needs to reflect my God in His might
that others may look and my works in their sight
show off the mercies of Christ

cup poured out (poem)

knock me over
spill my heart
cup poured out
not emptiness
but want

like fire (poem)

breath like fire in my lungs
the night is cold
the day is young
wind that howls through every crack
the mountain seams
the canyon's path
knife of chill within my chest
hold the hope
against my breast
open up the skies above
peel them back
and even shove
let the prophecies rain down
that is where
my hope has flown

dance in light (poem)

I am brightness come to light
I came here but not to fight
Dance away and I'll believe
Wander with you, worlds weave
Painted with our hopes and dreams
Threading joy within the seams
We will dance in golden streams
The radiance of hea'enly beams

12/6/17

Bright Morning, Bright Evening (poem)

Bright morning, bright evening
It shines in the light
Of your consciousness, brilliance
Attuned to your eyes
The sun's not awake yet
The sun's gone to sleep
But my light is still beaming
In wisdom, I seek

the taste of you (poem)

For B. and M.

I wonder at the taste of you
I've never felt it, skies are blue
You have given all I have
And you're the one I cannot have
The winds that blow, I need a guard
You'd provide if e'er you could
I reach to touch, my hand arrests
Knowing what I shouldn't do
I've never felt, it's surely true
But I wonder at the taste of you

12/7/17

something sings (poem)

thick taste under my tongue
the water does not cleanse
it bursts with ancient scents
I feel it hit me, a lingering tide
remember where these feelings hide
the pulse of dances long ago
the rhythm of our stop and go
the prayers that never left my flesh
the wrenching cries and me bereft
the sweetness of another sun
the light that shatters now begun
its weight, its heft, the warmth it brings
in my vessels, something sings
through my blood and to my brain
this living won't have been in vain
I open hands to perfect light
and send my dreams to soaring flight

once the wind (poem)

empty spaces
once the wind to me
the kind that aches and breathes
today the solitude
the quietness that feeds
a soul that aches and needs
I breathe

heart will rise (poem)

did I grow when I wasn't looking?
did something change within me?
stretch its wings, unfurled and bright
did something in my heart take flight?
tell me this is not a phase
a dream, a wish I cannot keep
I need to know I'm not asleep
the heart will rise from oceans deep
and I will feel the light again
healing worked beneath my skin
my eyes find brightness and not flinch
tell me as my fingers clench
learning how to open them
to let go of the wounds and shame
was worth the too abundant pain
lift me up and take my hand
rising from the earth, I'll stand

(haiku for beauty)

moonlit beauty's sum
reflected in your face–so pale
and framed by night–grace

12/8/17

Prayer 036 (poem)

thank You for the healing
the scars that wound are there
they are also scars that heal
over my heart they seal
and You break in
the night is washed away now
You claim me with Your light
Your love has chained my sight
willingly to Your power
in this hour

(haiku for frosted glass)

time slows down, I breathe
cold air, warm voices, and peace
behind frosted panes

wishes (poem)

give me a wish
the silence is strong
too strong
stars race in courses
the light of the sun
is strong
on the plate of the moon

conqueror (poem)

For G.

love shatters the locks
upon the doors where I have placed them
enter into the citadel as I have built it
this, my mind, my heart, imagination
foundation of the life that I have lived
enter, take possession, you who conquered
so gently with your hands to treasure me

daughter of legends (poem)

For E.

you try being the daughter of a legend
you try reaching beyond yourself
fighting long after you're already down
to do any less is to lose all hope
my father the strength of a revolution
my mother most dangerous of all women
he's driven out hordes of marauding raiders
she's razed whole cities down to the ground
and what have I done? been beaten and tossed
training too hard just to match their weak days
bruised by the judgment of those who don't know
I wasn't like them, who as weapons were raised
I was a child and now I am not
I throw my whole body under the spear
teach me the things that you were once taught
make me the child of those who are feared
I am the daughter of my people's own legends
don't worry, my day will be coming near

12/9/17

no power (poem)

wisdom gathers her children together
the winds blow dark, the brewing weather
is cold with frost but bright with hope
the promised sun is bound as with rope
we will wait, watchful, from shelter and warmth
when winter is over, our hearts shall go forth
full of the hope we held close through the night
knowing no power can put out the light

(haiku for honor)

For D. and A.

Honor is a blade—
sharp and worthy of your strength—
our fierce dance and souls.

12/10/17

what help (poem)

what help for lost souls
what prayers for tears
I turned away, friend
for too many years
why wish you forgive me
what hope for all back
that was lost in the country
of my forlorn trek
what help could you offer
that you'd not repent

swallow the flood (poem)

swallow the blood down
swallow the flood
the angels just might drown
the dance is of blood
the canopy's open
to dark skies above
the end of the world
stayed only by love

swallow the bile
put fear on a shelf
don't wait for a while
but sacrifice self
the heavens are open
the prayers cracked them wide
the end is upon us
there's nothing to hide

so open my soul up
with pain and with hope
pour out the full cup
and bind with a rope
eternity's open
the hours are few
before new beginnings
shall all things renew

(haiku for window light)

hope is a light in
a window— like in glass panes
what powerful gaze!

(haiku for questions)

what joy?— have joy! they
speak like an answer— how? ask
the moonlight eclipsed

waters burn (poem)

let the waters burn until they're gone
let the oceans cry 'til they blot the sun
let the dusk fall down across the sky
let lightning strike my questions why
let the earth resound with a greater cry

though none (poem)

shall I beg you to save me
demand you give ear
I'll not be a burden
nor carry this fear
though none may defend me
though my arms cannot hold
though my feet cannot stand
though the enemy's bold
my God shall sustain me
I will rest in His hand
and abandon all to Him
I will trust in His plan

No Hope But God (poem)

I have no hope but God
I have no life but grace
'Tis only by His promise
That I've been made a place
My home is in this heartbeat
My love is in His hand
Upon this firm foundation
Is my only way to stand

Prayer 037 (poem)

Cast me not away, O sovereign God!
Though I can't demand, not of Your love
It's only by Your grace I enter in
And bow my head before You; even then
I feel the weight of mercy on my soul
Echoing within me, Spirit groans
That I might be relieved of mortal flesh
Let light consume me wholly, add the rest

Prayer 038 (poem)

Christ, have I forgotten my childhood dreams
When once I walked with You so faithfully
My innocence lies tattered at the seams
And yet, You hold Your mercy out to me
Abandon all my empty foolishness
Retrun to You, my God; Your holiness
Could condemn my soul, and yet instead
It comforts me and lifts again my head
I have no hope but God
No light but love

Prayer 039 (poem)

Shall I whisper where the wind can't hear me?
Should I ever let the memories come near me?
Once upon a time, I knew my place
Today, I fall again upon Your grace
Will the silences rise and consume me?
Shall I face them yet when no one knew me?
What, these marks I've made upon my soul—
Will You answer me? Can I be whole?
I who knew the name of every promise
Bound them on my soul and in the premise
Of the life I lived, can I return?
Or is my heart the kind that You would spurn?
There is battle fierce, of that I'm told
Relentless weapons trying to take hold
Should this tiny light of my desire
Be flame enough that rescue could inspire,
Will You save me, Lord, out of my hand?
Will You lift me up that I could stand?

12/11/17

His Mercies (poem)

Merciful is my Father
King over all the earth
His fingers made the heavens
His Word has given it birth
His mercies lie upon me
His love my soul renews
All honor, praise, and glory
I give Him as His due

wake me up (poem)

wake me up
with the light
I will keep
You in sight

Prayer 040 (poem)

open up my heart and pour me out
fill my soul with grace, enough to drown
let the flowing tears just pour on down
this is not my battle nor my bout
for justification, that is Yours alone
and saving me reserved for Your own power
so I cast my trust on You this hour
and throw my pain and hopes before Your throne

far as the east (poem)

where the waters run
where the oceans roar
where the waves fall down
upon a far shore
where my heart is deeper
than the depths of the sea
and an ocean of tears
has been wept out of me
where the tides still swell
with the cries of my soul
where the stars in the sky
don't see and don't know
that I am the whole
of a cosmos inside
that in this great flood
no matter how wide
this is truly the place
where I cast all my prayers
to the throne of my God
place my feet on the stairs
towards the heavens above
as I throw off all my pain
to the hands of my God
I am not healed in vain

12/13/17

Prayer 041 (poem)

morning, Father
day has come
I long to feel
the light of Son
Christ the Lord
please reign in me
help me love
You perfectly

Rejoice in Sun (poem)

For Z. and S.

Joy is in your touch
The way you love so much
The skies over your head
And meadows for your bed
How you rejoice in sun
In rain or snow—all one
In place before your eyes
Each day a brand new prize
I joy in you, my friend
Though like the lovely wind
You may fly from me
Yet stay so faithfully
It is your joy I love
Your nearness is enough

Hail (poem)

Faithful to our Prince
And faithful to our King
Christ His holy name
King above all kings
The heart that beats within
By His grace won't fail
Christ our given power
And His name we hail

for His ways (poem)

praise Him always for His ways
that cannot be fathomed nor measured
deeper than my sea
plumb the depths of the heart of God
you can never reach the bottom
of His unconditional love
though hate found home in my breast
though hurt words lingered in memory, flesh
'til the bitter dregs must be expunged by the Surgeon
still He insists upon loving me
though I've fallen in mud
though I'm covered in pain
though the tears I have shed
outnumber the drops of rain
though I've whined and I've crumbled
though I've fallen and grumbled
still He has not let me go

praise the God of (poem)

praise the God of all heavenly things
praise the Creator of rising wings
who made the lion's throat to roar
and taught the eagle how to soar

12/16/17

in emptiness gathered (poem)

For A. and D.

the world is filled with violence
the night echoes with pain
the cries of the hungry masters
thirst for more in vain
here in the emptiness gathered
beside me you understand
a moment of peace in our breath
we will carry on hand in hand

a shadow (poem)

For B. and M.

you are a shadow
I know it; you feel it
each glimpse of you kept
in my secret heart
yet you are a light
shining, I feel it
my hope of salvation
in you I have kept

shield (poem)

For C. and E.

you are my arm and my strength
my shield and my guard when I'm weak
my word that I cannot speak
'til the heavens are burnt unto dust
'til the oceans have boiled away
'til our swords have corroded to rust
I swear on my honor, I pray
I am your arm and your strength
your shield and your guard when you're weak
your word that you cannot speak

12/21/17 START OF WINTER

12/23/17

no ash (poem)

For A. and M.

bright like stars and strong like castles
wake these dreams around us last
wishing stars that never crumble
through the sky to dust, to ash

set the lamps (poem)

winter days and warmest smiles
don't forget the way we love
don't forget too long awhile
return, my friend, as a homing dove
light the candles in the windows
set the lamps to burning bright
clasp our hands once more in joyful
welcome back, a lovely sight

(haiku for beauty)

beautiful, your eyes
your voice, a joy I feel
inside my mind– spark

12/26/17

Wake Up Call (poem)

Brain, wake up!
I've been putting in requests
while you efficiently
keep throwing them out again
What's with you lately?
Things to do,
to be— remember?
Get moving, keep up with me

through the breakers (poem)

quiet things, the world over
spinning like a maelstrom flows
through the vortex, through the breakers
water flows and waters drown
cast the sunlight through the ocean
like the brightness, gleaming tears
beacon shining through the darkness
lighthouse beaming over fears
sit inside a hurricane eye
quiet things, surrounding me
worlds destroyed before the storm
worlds inside my heart are born

12/27/17

pour out (poem)

The bones of the world break
You're everything I never wanted
Let the heavens shake with tremors
Roil with nimbus clouds of light
Let the lightning strike the oceans
Tsunamis quake beneath the seas
Open all the gates of heaven
Pour out all eternity

in between (poem)

in between
you and me
the worlds sing
the ages hush
hearts will blush
no need to look
no need to see
for in between
you and me
is everything