http://continuity.lianamir.com/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=Lianamir&feedformat=atomSeries Bible - User contributions [en]2024-03-28T19:40:06ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.27.1http://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4666Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-09-07T14:17:09Z<p>Lianamir: /* do not linger (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
[https://kingdomsandthorn.lianamir.com/2021/01/05/warm-up-21-001/ WIP]<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801 FFA], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857 FFA], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid<br />
<br />
=== 7/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[down the road (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
today is the day I was born<br><br />
however many years ago<br><br />
they say eventually you'll get<br><br />
wherever you're trying to go<br><br />
if you just keep on traveling<br><br />
onward down the road<br><br />
I hope it's true and live it too<br><br />
carrying my load<br />
<br />
=== 7/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
AIRTABLED<br />
<br />
==== [[Hollow (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
You cannot know me<br><br />
For I walk a road you cannot follow<br><br />
Within my bones, you'll find them hollow<br><br />
I spread my wings, within me soar<br><br />
I promise only inward roar<br><br />
For this you will not see<br />
<br />
==== [[obliged (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am not obliged<br><br />
to be oppressed by pain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to catch a cold in rain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to live my life in vain<br><br />
I stand upon my feet<br><br />
and rise again, again<br />
<br />
==== [[tulip (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have heard the sound of a poem in my soul<br><br />
whispering like trees whisper over the unknown<br><br />
rustling like the gentle breeze, wherever it may blow<br><br />
this life blooming within me is a tulip in the snow<br />
<br />
==== [[Name (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hello, it's you<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your name<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your fame<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your claim<br><br />
Hello, it's me<br><br />
I'll not hand out my true name<br><br />
I'd rather that you do the same<br><br />
I'm someone you never can tame<br />
<br />
==== [[do not linger (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
They say there are answers waiting for those who seek<br><br />
Even if all we do is just take a peek<br><br />
Promise you when I vanish that I am not weak<br><br />
I do not linger in place: I climb for the peak<br />
<br />
== September 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 9/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Grip (BNHA): [https://scribblemyname.tumblr.com/post/661676787772833792/1-7-or-15-for-the-writing-ask-o tumblr]</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4665Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-08-27T02:10:28Z<p>Lianamir: /* Warm Up #21-001 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
[https://kingdomsandthorn.lianamir.com/2021/01/05/warm-up-21-001/ WIP]<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801 FFA], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857 FFA], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid<br />
<br />
=== 7/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[down the road (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
today is the day I was born<br><br />
however many years ago<br><br />
they say eventually you'll get<br><br />
wherever you're trying to go<br><br />
if you just keep on traveling<br><br />
onward down the road<br><br />
I hope it's true and live it too<br><br />
carrying my load<br />
<br />
=== 7/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
AIRTABLED<br />
<br />
==== [[Hollow (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
You cannot know me<br><br />
For I walk a road you cannot follow<br><br />
Within my bones, you'll find them hollow<br><br />
I spread my wings, within me soar<br><br />
I promise only inward roar<br><br />
For this you will not see<br />
<br />
==== [[obliged (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am not obliged<br><br />
to be oppressed by pain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to catch a cold in rain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to live my life in vain<br><br />
I stand upon my feet<br><br />
and rise again, again<br />
<br />
==== [[tulip (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have heard the sound of a poem in my soul<br><br />
whispering like trees whisper over the unknown<br><br />
rustling like the gentle breeze, wherever it may blow<br><br />
this life blooming within me is a tulip in the snow<br />
<br />
==== [[Name (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hello, it's you<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your name<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your fame<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your claim<br><br />
Hello, it's me<br><br />
I'll not hand out my true name<br><br />
I'd rather that you do the same<br><br />
I'm someone you never can tame<br />
<br />
==== [[do not linger (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
They say there are answers waiting for those who seek<br><br />
Even if all we do is just take a peek<br><br />
Promise you when I vanish that I am not weak<br><br />
I do not linger in place: I climb for the peak</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Poetry_2020&diff=4664Challenge: Daily Poetry 20202021-08-26T18:49:34Z<p>Lianamir: /* strange days (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]]<br />
<br />
== January 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/1/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 7 Poems<br />
* 45 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[So Many Things (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/so-many-things-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
So many things that I should write<br><br />
If words would come, my day be bright<br><br />
And shiny then, but now so dull<br><br />
I pray for rain 'fore I must go<br />
<br />
==== [[The Days (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hello there again<br><br />
A new year is come<br><br />
The days are our friends<br><br />
More great than the sum<br><br />
Of hours between<br><br />
Both good and the bad<br><br />
I give thanks and believe<br><br />
In all that I had<br />
<br />
==== [[The Sharp Chill (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N''<br />
<br />
Missing you is a knife-sharp breath<br><br />
Like my lungs on a winter's day<br><br />
Breathing in the sharp chill<br><br />
Where is warmth? Where is love?<br><br />
You were always my fill<br />
<br />
==== [[SPAG (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am asked to punctuate and capitalize properly<br><br />
And there is a part of my heart that just balks<br><br />
There's a breath and a cadence I'm trying to say<br><br />
And hope in between all the words that it talks<br />
<br />
==== [[New Light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning to a brand new year!<br><br />
I say goodbye to all my fear:<br><br />
And leave it as I find new light—<br><br />
The days ahead are shining bright.<br />
<br />
==== [[letters to our (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we write letters to our friends and call it journal<br><br />
these steps along the way of our own journey<br><br />
no one knows our heart but we ourselves<br><br />
but we set them out on fancy shelves<br><br />
and open up the doors and windows—"Shop!<br><br />
and buy my wares, if only you would stop,"<br><br />
we kindly say, our invitation warm<br><br />
and buffer me, we dream, through life's long storm<br />
<br />
==== [[of saints (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
joy is of the saints<br><br />
I theme I find in mind a lot<br><br />
where do I fit within this slot?<br><br />
have I a tongue and does it sing?<br><br />
what happiness do I bring<br><br />
or find is brought to me?<br><br />
there are moments that I see<br><br />
what looks like joy that feints<br><br />
my fingers slip, I need<br><br />
to find another creed<br><br />
that amplifies my hope<br><br />
for this is the way I cope<br />
<br />
=== 1/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 10 Poems<br />
* 52 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[New Start (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A new day breaks<br><br />
Upon my heart<br><br />
A promise here<br><br />
Is your new start<br><br />
And so with open<br><br />
Hands I take<br><br />
My brand new choices<br><br />
Mine to make<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers, Series III, #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I thank You, God of all good things<br><br />
For love, for hope, for family<br><br />
And pray for more of Your great strength<br><br />
To hold me close and grant me wings<br />
<br />
==== [[A Blade of Grass (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hope is a blade of grass, the herb of the field<br><br />
Any scattered seed may grow and find the light<br><br />
Above the dust of the earth, fed by the Spirit<br><br />
Until we reach the sun and linger near it<br />
<br />
==== [[Different (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hope burns in my heart<br><br />
Today will be different<br><br />
My eyes will see a new light<br><br />
And find a new end<br />
<br />
==== [[only for you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
quiet awaits me in moments<br><br />
hidden behind closed doors<br><br />
you draw me out, you wish me<br><br />
to be more like before<br><br />
I open my eyes and whisper<br><br />
only when you's who it's for<br />
<br />
==== [[cold (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not cold, I promise<br><br />
it just hurts<br><br />
I never meant to hurt you<br><br />
forgive me please<br><br />
I never meant to break us<br><br />
or make you leave<br />
<br />
==== [[wake up, my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake up, new day<br><br />
wake up, my heart<br><br />
we watch and pray<br><br />
we make a start<br><br />
upon the way<br><br />
before our eyes<br><br />
we do and say<br><br />
to reach the prize<br />
<br />
==== [[sold (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sold! to the highest bidder—my heart<br><br />
wrap up all the pieces—like shards<br><br />
of precious gems and jewels in the dark<br><br />
gleaming with the light of a spark<br />
<br />
==== [[moments warm (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
golden moments, warm and pure<br><br />
full of love—my family<br><br />
gathered, laughing, groaning with tales<br><br />
funny and punny and true<br />
<br />
==== [[the way the laughter (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I love the way the laughter fills<br><br />
the air, my heart, and lingers still<br><br />
when all of us have gone to bed<br><br />
within my dreams and in my head<br />
<br />
=== 1/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 Poems<br />
* 29 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[my cry (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is my cry for help<br><br />
do you notice me clutching my throat<br><br />
unable to breathe<br><br />
I beg you, please<br><br />
like you notice the changing of leaves<br />
<br />
==== [[software, dear (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you can do it, software dear<br><br />
exert yourself; please make it clear<br><br />
what was done: I need to see<br><br />
your data captured just for me<br />
<br />
==== [[where did you go? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A and LO''<br />
<br />
I saw you fall<br><br />
where did you go?<br><br />
lost? my child<br><br />
know what you know<br><br />
hold to it hard<br><br />
and don't walk away<br><br />
all I have asked<br><br />
ever is stay<br />
<br />
==== [[no sense (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For a flukey bug''<br />
<br />
no sense at all<br><br />
what would it mean<br><br />
you look just like<br><br />
what you're between<br><br />
but one before<br><br />
behaves itself<br><br />
and after you<br><br />
is someone else<br><br />
who's also fine<br><br />
and all the time<br><br />
I say confused<br><br />
no sense at all<br />
<br />
=== 1/4/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 Poems<br />
* 15 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[to pass (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
still awake. at last, at last...<br><br />
the quiet future comes to pass<br><br />
beneath the sun, the bawling wind<br><br />
I find myself and let it in<br />
<br />
==== [[and also pray (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
another Sabbath upon us<br><br />
the presence of God invited in<br><br />
we praise, give thanks, and also pray<br><br />
for Christ in us, our hope begin<br />
<br />
==== [[let me be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keep quiet<br><br />
stop controlling<br><br />
me<br><br />
I wait<br><br />
for a moment<br><br />
when you let me<br><br />
be<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 Poems<br />
* 13 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[for you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
if I hurt, I hurt for you<br><br />
and if I ache, I ache for you<br><br />
that trembling need under my skin<br><br />
hopes for you just once again<br />
<br />
==== [[a singular moment (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
a singular moment<br><br />
captured in time<br><br />
my memory a camera<br><br />
this photograph mine<br />
<br />
==== [[cry (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we cry<br><br />
the heat running up our body<br><br />
the urge sharp behind our eyes<br><br />
and dream of a morning come early<br><br />
when all of this feeling may die<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 Poems<br />
* 20 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[to do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
thoughts and things<br><br />
I wish to do<br><br />
quite so many<br><br />
but I'll get through<br />
<br />
prioritize<br><br />
hope the best<br><br />
reach the prize<br><br />
leave the rest<br />
<br />
==== [[stakes (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
numbers, colors— winning hand<br><br />
pray my heart will understand<br><br />
closing in, the final round<br><br />
unafraid, I still will go<br />
<br />
==== [[make 'em count (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
count 'em up<br><br />
count 'em down<br><br />
when all's done<br><br />
make 'em count<br><br />
number up<br><br />
the days and heart<br><br />
shuffle, cut<br><br />
and now restart<br />
<br />
=== 1/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poems<br />
* 37 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[labels (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/labels-poem/ NB], 14 lines<br />
<br />
I could be bold<br><br />
like the colors of ancient crayons<br><br />
unlikely adjectives sprawled<br><br />
over the yellow labels<br><br />
I peeled them off sometimes<br><br />
and let the hearts shine through<br><br />
like all your labels peel<br><br />
off my heart— the boxes<br><br />
of judgment placed on me<br><br />
the gleaming walls<br><br />
invisible cages<br><br />
off in yellow, birchlike strips<br><br />
I blaze inside, unlikely<br><br />
colors and shine<br />
<br />
==== [[a name (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/a-name-poem/ NB], 19 lines<br />
<br />
call me something, anything,<br><br />
I used to say,<br><br />
as though just having a name<br><br />
was good, though it wasn't<br><br />
a name I would choose for myself<br />
<br />
now, I know better,<br><br />
or so I could hope;<br><br />
feel the flutter— my chest<br><br />
filled with butterflies,<br><br />
their wings never reaching<br><br />
my stomach<br><br />
(they don't look down,<br><br />
but I do; I do<br><br />
whatever it takes<br><br />
to reach up,<br><br />
to pray):<br />
<br />
call me something, anything,<br><br />
but only the names<br><br />
I choose<br />
<br />
==== [[lamp on the wood (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/lamp-on-the-wood-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
bright lamp on the wood beside my window<br><br />
keeping watch with steady eye and yellow<br><br />
warmth throughout my room steadies my heart<br><br />
it's almost time to sleep in cozy dark<br />
<br />
=== 1/8/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poem<br />
* 16 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[beams over me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the days pass<br><br />
light on the walls<br><br />
beams over me<br><br />
and I lie beneath<br><br />
like it's only a dream<br><br />
yet, here, do the math<br><br />
stepping through days<br><br />
'til it all comes to pass<br />
<br />
==== [[goodnight, dear world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
goodnight, dear world; I'll see you soon<br><br />
I pray that I don't sleep past noon<br><br />
but wake before the morning light<br><br />
so I can do and make things right<br />
<br />
==== [[lasso the sun (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A. A.''<br />
<br />
standing on tiptoes, touching the sky<br><br />
never let dreams go passing you by<br><br />
but catch down the clouds and lasso the sun<br><br />
when it pulls ahead, hold on and just run<br />
<br />
=== 1/9/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 29 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[In My Bones (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Sometimes, I'm tired enough to feel it in my bones<br><br />
The effort, pain, and toil just to sit down on these thrones<br><br />
I am the queen of something—my mind, my heart, my deeds<br><br />
Until I cede and abdicate to He who claims my creed<br><br />
And may this meet my needs<br />
<br />
==== [[I wait (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/i-wait-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
cold, I wait:<br><br />
the aches and pains<br><br />
cannot break<br><br />
my spirit nor tame<br><br />
my soul that needs<br><br />
to breathe, be free<br><br />
I hope, I see<br><br />
new light in me<br />
<br />
==== [[we're chosen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we're golden<br><br />
we're chosen<br><br />
we've been here all this time<br><br />
we're purple<br><br />
we're royal<br><br />
we're going to be just fine<br><br />
a promise<br><br />
before us<br><br />
to walk, our hand in Christ's<br><br />
ahead now<br><br />
we're led out<br><br />
of darkness into light<br />
<br />
==== [[the little birdies (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/the-little-birdies-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
the little birdies<br><br />
cheep! cheep! cheep!<br><br />
wonder if<br><br />
their thoughts are deep<br />
<br />
=== 1/10/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 2 poem<br />
* 7 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[adorable (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my sister is adorable<br><br />
and that's the honest truth<br><br />
exuberant and wonderful<br><br />
with all the joy of youth<br />
<br />
==== [[Change (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Today, I don't like change<br><br />
Today, it doesn't matter;<br><br />
I will change<br />
<br />
=== 1/11/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poems<br />
* 16 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[thinking of you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
love bloomed in my heart today<br><br />
put out shoots and petals and swayed<br><br />
lovely colors in breezy winds<br><br />
I think of you, time and again<br />
<br />
==== [[God Save (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
God save my soul<br><br />
For all the ages know<br><br />
I cannot save myself<br><br />
I turn to Someone else<br />
<br />
==== [[but only me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if I hurt and scream and ache and bleed<br><br />
who cares but only me?<br><br />
if in my veins, I feel the need<br><br />
who feels that need but me?<br><br />
and should my pain outgrow the cage<br><br />
of flesh and mind of me<br><br />
then why do I feel all is vain<br><br />
and no one cares but me?<br />
<br />
=== 1/12/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 1 poem<br />
* 8 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Cheer (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I love the morning sunshine<br><br />
It feels like morning cheer<br><br />
Like happiness and comfort<br><br />
Are always drawing near<br />
<br />
I love the glow of daybreak<br><br />
The warmth of radiant sun<br><br />
I feel it in my heartbeat<br><br />
A joy for everyone<br />
<br />
=== 1/13/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 2 poems<br />
* 20 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[New Week (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
New day, new week<br><br />
New hope I seek<br><br />
New joy to be<br><br />
At work, you see<br><br />
And light ahead<br><br />
Is all I said<br><br />
I need but true<br><br />
I also need You<br />
<br />
==== [[you wait for me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A and LO''<br />
<br />
a reaching hand<br><br />
an open heart<br><br />
my eyes too wide<br><br />
to take it in<br><br />
you call to me<br><br />
I turn from you<br><br />
I can't believe<br><br />
this love is true<br><br />
you wait for me<br><br />
too patiently<br><br />
until that love<br><br />
is all I see<br />
<br />
=== 1/14/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 19 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[A Prayer for a Tuesday (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A prayer for a Tuesday, a hope for good things!<br><br />
Rise in my heart and give that hope wings<br><br />
Prayers without words for something to give<br><br />
For better than survival; I just want to live<br><br />
To do all You want and all that I must<br><br />
I give this to You and I let go in trust<br />
<br />
==== [[(haiku for river)]] ====<br />
<br />
Look! water running—<br><br />
River demure, unlike itself,<br><br />
That roars and tumbles<br />
<br />
==== [[I haven't forgotten (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For G.B.''<br />
<br />
cold frosts the windows<br><br />
I haven't forgotten you<br><br />
you feel forgotten, lost in the cold—<br><br />
I'm sorry<br><br />
I love you still,<br><br />
though I cannot be where you are<br />
<br />
==== [[Love Through Me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is a new day<br><br />
Please make it a good one<br><br />
With hope I will now pray<br><br />
Love through me, God's Son<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 12 poems<br />
* 63 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[grace (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my heart receives grace<br><br />
I cannot deserve<br><br />
my God deserves praise—<br><br />
my family, my Love<br><br />
His mercy is mine<br><br />
I've felt His good grace<br><br />
I fall at His feet<br><br />
giving thanks to His name<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers, Series III, #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pray for Holy Love to purge my soul<br><br />
of anything unclean and heal me all<br><br />
of every wound I bear and every scar<br><br />
until I can be holy like You are<br />
<br />
==== [[hold my hand (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
another new morning— again<br><br />
I call out and cry to my Friend<br><br />
Lord Jesus, please take, hold my hand<br><br />
and never let go 'til the end<br />
<br />
==== [[let me be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not another person<br><br />
what works for them might not for me<br><br />
all I ask: the same respect<br><br />
to let it go and let me be<br />
<br />
==== [[to the bright, bright sun (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up to the bright, bright sun<br><br />
white in my eyes and heat on my skin<br><br />
I wait in the light and linger a while<br><br />
that every last drop my heart can drink in<br />
<br />
==== [[screen of death (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
blue screen, grey screen, white screen—<br><br />
getting familiar with all these<br><br />
if only my web<br><br />
would work on its kreb<br><br />
to show me a page and not freeze<br />
<br />
==== [[coping mechanism (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A and LO''<br />
<br />
teach me how to cope with this<br><br />
no one did before<br><br />
no matter how I flailed my hands<br><br />
or begged for something more<br><br />
the love that was denied me once<br><br />
was not requested now<br><br />
so since it has arrived, I need<br><br />
for you to teach me how<br />
<br />
==== [[the blossoms (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
petals full, soft and gentle<br><br />
the pink blossoms decorate a tender breeze<br><br />
I reach out my hand and sigh<br><br />
filled with the beauty I see<br />
<br />
==== [[the tracks of my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
follow the tracks of my heart<br><br />
made through the heartlands of snow<br><br />
did you know heartland was cold?<br><br />
winds sharp like the mountains of childhood<br><br />
howling at night 'round the house<br><br />
there! I left footprints; you see me<br><br />
will you come find, take my hand?<br />
<br />
==== [[bruises (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
bruises yellow my heart organ<br><br />
it beats in my chest with an ache<br><br />
I make with my fingers and cry without tears<br><br />
waiting to see what you'll say<br />
<br />
==== [[sweet things (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For M''<br />
<br />
sweet things<br><br />
milk tea<br><br />
a kitten's mew<br><br />
and soft paws<br><br />
sweet air<br><br />
a soft breeze—<br><br />
we like<br><br />
sweet things<br />
<br />
==== [[the world I remember (prose poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
bold beauty dazzles the eyes, the golden hills that sweep away, their grassy carpet dotted with color—a bush, a flower, a tree<br />
<br />
this is the world I remember from childhood—mountains that climbed to the heights of the sky, the crying of winds in a sound like my soul, the sound fo the stars, the crickets at night<br />
<br />
overcast night, the darkness lit well, for my eyes to read books and my wonder to swell, where the daydreams seem real in the silence of sleep... and we dream, yes, my friend, then we dream<br />
<br />
=== 1/16/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 27 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[hello, world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hello, world!<br><br />
good morning to you<br><br />
I now am awake<br><br />
so what should I do?<br><br />
I open my eyes<br><br />
and reach for the light<br><br />
to stars and my dreams<br><br />
I salute you! goodnight!<br />
<br />
==== [[where we've been (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
love is where we've been<br><br />
I want to be<br><br />
there, your hand in mine—<br><br />
be there again<br />
<br />
==== [[soft words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
soft words<br><br />
grown from fertile soil<br><br />
imagination bright<br><br />
with moving pictures<br><br />
feeling their way to life<br />
<br />
==== [[to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not supposed to want things<br><br />
or like things<br><br />
or be things<br><br />
I'm not supposed to need things<br><br />
to feel things<br><br />
to disagree<br />
<br />
but I've the right to be a person<br><br />
I've the right to speak<br><br />
I've the right to breathe aloud<br><br />
I've the right to be<br />
<br />
=== 1/18/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 6 poem<br />
* 31 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[should have been (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
another cold, bright morning<br><br />
I'm waking into light<br><br />
and suddenly remembering<br><br />
what should've been done last night<br><br />
I breathe, the world comes in<br><br />
I pray the Lord again<br><br />
to save me and my skin<br><br />
and all I should have been<br />
<br />
==== [[(american haiku for sisters)]] ====<br />
<br />
sisters fight sometimes<br><br />
and still we cherish, protect<br><br />
each other from pain<br />
<br />
==== [[free from (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
comes a day<br><br />
when I'll be free<br><br />
from pain, from fear<br><br />
from everything<br><br />
that keeps me, Lord<br><br />
from Thee<br />
<br />
==== [[in Your presence (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''Psalm 16:11''<br />
<br />
joy takes root in my soul<br><br />
when You come over me and You stay<br><br />
at home in my heart for a while<br><br />
I pray that You never let go<br />
<br />
==== [[With Love (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
For Christ is the King and the Lamb and the Son<br><br />
He rises with healing, sends grace like a dove<br><br />
He pours out His mercy and pays with His blood<br><br />
For He holds me to Him and claims me with love<br />
<br />
==== [[Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Days pass by<br><br />
Like beads on a string<br><br />
Each pearl of price<br><br />
A gift I may bring<br><br />
To my Father with love<br><br />
Should I live for my King<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (7) ====<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 1 poem<br />
* 4 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[to breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/to-breathe-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
let me breathe, I need to breathe<br><br />
see the waters boil and seethe<br><br />
and my heart volcanically heaves<br><br />
whenever you say that you will leave<br><br />
<br />
=== 1/20/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 32 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[Joy Comes (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''Psalm 30:5''<br />
<br />
Joy comes in the morning<br><br />
When I open my eyes to You<br><br />
The Sun of heavenly glory<br><br />
Who loves me through and through<br><br />
Who bought me as a treasure<br><br />
Who saves me and my life<br><br />
Beyond what I could measure<br><br />
I pray, fill me with Christ<br />
<br />
==== [[The Father Hears (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A child prays, the Father hears<br><br />
And always stays close and near<br><br />
I nestle in to perfect love<br><br />
And keep my gaze fixed on above<br />
<br />
==== [[teach my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
why am I made welcome<br><br />
when I'm in filthy rags?<br><br />
why am I beloved<br><br />
when I fell down again?<br />
<br />
I pray You never leave me<br><br />
and never let me go<br><br />
teach my heart to love You<br><br />
more than anything I know<br />
<br />
==== [[seed of light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we are golden<br><br />
bright promises<br><br />
I promise in your soul<br><br />
the seed of<br><br />
potential<br><br />
is buried and may grow<br><br />
within us<br><br />
the greatest<br><br />
of things we'll ever know<br><br />
like a candle<br><br />
is burning<br><br />
and soon may light us all<br />
<br />
=== 1/25/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 1 poem<br />
* 4 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[late (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
a moment late<br><br />
don't hesitate<br><br />
nor stand and wait:<br><br />
get through the gate!<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 6 poems<br />
* 55 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[talk to me, my love (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
talk to me, my love<br><br />
let your murmur linger in my ear<br><br />
so my heart can hold you near<br><br />
no matter how the miles between<br><br />
I hear your voice and all it means<br><br />
settles in and meets my need<br />
<br />
==== [[turtle (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
am I a terrible person<br><br />
for locking myself away?<br><br />
I'm supposed to be with you<br><br />
at some point today<br><br />
I feel l'm never enough<br><br />
even if you won't say<br><br />
I could be more loving<br><br />
and surely I could stay<br />
<br />
==== [[Most Faithful (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good afternoon! It's evening soon:<br><br />
Did I accomplish all I wish?<br><br />
I know it's true, so much to do—<br><br />
The lists we know are never through...<br><br />
And yet my heart cannot depart<br><br />
From knowing love must be enough<br><br />
To hold to me most faithfully,<br><br />
Though I'm not what I should be.<br />
<br />
==== [[do you love me? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For M''<br />
<br />
love<br><br />
do you love me?<br><br />
I wander too long on this question—<br><br />
back and forth<br><br />
like a sidewinding road<br><br />
"We take the scenic route"<br><br />
I remember your laugh<br><br />
how it tickled my insides<br><br />
with delight in the joy of your presence<br><br />
is this the way it's supposed to be?<br><br />
when I lie here awake<br><br />
and the night feels less warm than it did<br><br />
I wonder sometimes if it all<br><br />
was the product of imaginations<br><br />
of course not<br><br />
of course it was not<br><br />
it'd just be easier if it were<br />
<br />
==== [[like red (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For C and D''<br />
<br />
a crimson tide— your bloodstained hands<br><br />
a glass of wine, to taste your mouth<br><br />
I wonder at the shades of red<br><br />
the flaming hair upon your head<br><br />
the faintest smile, stained like you<br><br />
with all the darkness that you do—<br><br />
it is not black inside like me<br><br />
but red like blood, like blood should be<br />
<br />
==== [[grit my teeth (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
watch me be stubborn<br><br />
I know how to do that<br><br />
watch me hold on<br><br />
with nails, gritted teeth<br><br />
the end of the world<br><br />
is not here, not yet<br><br />
so I'll carry on<br><br />
as I must, until dawn<br />
<br />
=== 1/28/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (3) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my heart contains multitudes<br><br />
good and bad and true<br><br />
if I long for purity<br><br />
then what's a girl to do?<br><br />
I take these crowds within me<br><br />
and give them all to You<br />
<br />
=== 1/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[again (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am quiet again<br><br />
today<br><br />
the house is still<br><br />
I fell down again<br><br />
this happens too often<br><br />
wondering when<br><br />
like everyone else<br><br />
I'll walk<br />
<br />
=== 1/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (3) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[to everything there is a season (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
snow upon my soul<br><br />
to make me clean<br><br />
new life to spring and grow<br><br />
a carpet green<br><br />
that I might bear much fruit<br><br />
within the Vine<br><br />
and all the dead leaves fall<br><br />
'til glory's mine<br />
<br />
== February 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poem<br />
* 14 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[New Week (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
New days ahead, new week, new bread<br><br />
To fill me up and brand new cup<br><br />
I drink it down, the days that pass<br><br />
Like sands that slip through hourglass<br />
<br />
==== [[Sometimes I Wonder (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
The truth is, sometimes I wonder<br><br />
Why anyone loves this wayward heart<br><br />
The fact that I seem a blunt hammer<br><br />
Even when I'm trying to love<br><br />
I fall upon the mercy of<br><br />
My God and hope I'll be enough<br />
<br />
==== [[the new day (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
new morning catch me by surprise<br><br />
just as I open up my eyes<br><br />
and feel the new day flood my limbs<br><br />
and so I rise up once again<br />
<br />
=== 2/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 36 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[a step of faith (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning is a step of faith<br><br />
A carried hope within my breast<br><br />
That every song the songbird trills<br><br />
Really sees some future joy<br />
<br />
==== [[Time Understands (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I don't tend to look backwards—<br><br />
Well, I do—but not the way you think<br><br />
I don't look at the old things,<br><br />
The days past, because nothing lasts<br><br />
That we can clutch within these hands<br><br />
Time knows and understands<br><br />
That nothing real has happened yet<br><br />
Nor is it real what shall become<br><br />
The only thing that I can have<br><br />
Is this new moment—just this one<br />
<br />
==== [[postage stamp (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my life does not fit on a postage stamp<br><br />
my heart can't be contained within these lines<br><br />
I feel you look at me—it's cold and damp<br><br />
that's just when winter happens in these times<br><br />
I feel the heat of spring; my heart unthaws<br><br />
and tentatively I shoot out my leaves<br><br />
wondering if I'll be snapped in jaws<br><br />
or find myself pressed down between the leaves<br><br />
another book is writ: I'll take the pen<br><br />
it was never if but only when<br><br />
I'll know the warmth of summer, come what may<br><br />
it is the truth that I have some to say<br><br />
and let the ice fall from me, broken shards<br><br />
off this heart of flesh, once cold and hard<br />
<br />
==== [[poems for the ages (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
these are not poems for the ages<br><br />
they're to break and empty cages<br><br />
that try to shroud my heart<br><br />
I've known them from the start<br><br />
surely there are words to answer<br><br />
and powers and mercy that conquer<br><br />
break every chain with freedom<br><br />
come out, by grace, and run<br />
<br />
=== 2/24/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Hope (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning again, O brand new world—<br><br />
A brand new day made just for us.<br><br />
I feel it in my bones, the world<br><br />
Waiting for me, new, untouched.<br><br />
Is it wrong for me to hope<br><br />
And pray and dream and mostly hope<br><br />
That this new day would so unfold<br><br />
That I'll look back, pleased, tomorrow?<br />
<br />
==== [[To Success (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm a little behind on some things<br><br />
That shouldn't ever stop me<br><br />
From carrying onward, forward<br><br />
And rising ever upward<br />
<br />
==== [[To Pray (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For G''<br />
<br />
I hope you have a lovely day<br><br />
I miss you and I pause to pray<br><br />
That God will hold you in His heart<br><br />
And comfort you throughout your way<br />
<br />
==== [[For Family (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Thank You, Lord, for family<br><br />
A great gift that You've given me<br><br />
Those who also walk with You<br><br />
And somehow always love me too<br />
<br />
==== [[Hold Fast (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For B and G''<br />
<br />
These are the days burning bright in us<br><br />
Can we hold on through all too much<br><br />
Hold fast to all the promises?<br><br />
I'll walk with you and this we'll do<br />
<br />
=== 2/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poems<br />
* 16 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[with love (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
with love He has drawn me<br><br />
near to His heart<br><br />
with mercy poured out<br><br />
His light in my dark<br><br />
changed all my visions<br><br />
my hopes and my dreams<br><br />
even transformed<br><br />
my reality<br />
<br />
==== [[drastic measures (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
drastic measures<br><br />
come to me<br><br />
my eucalyptus<br><br />
and I breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[in precious moments (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
joy in precious moments<br><br />
between the longer days<br><br />
love and sharing memories<br><br />
with you—so warm today<br />
<br />
== March 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (1) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[so much (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
How can my heart hurt?<br><br />
—so much, so much<br><br />
How does my heart cry?<br><br />
—so much, so much<br><br />
I don't deserve to<br><br />
cry all these tears<br><br />
How do I live now?<br><br />
—so much, so much<br />
<br />
== April 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[A Winter Day (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N''<br />
<br />
A winter day–<br><br />
how my heart hurts:<br><br />
I think and pray,<br><br />
remember love–<br><br />
remember days<br><br />
I heard your voice,<br><br />
felt warm embrace<br><br />
around me close,<br><br />
and then I say,<br><br />
I give You thanks<br><br />
for every moment<br><br />
she was mine.<br />
<br />
==== [[catch me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N and for F and Y''<br />
<br />
catch me when I'm waking<br><br />
up from an endless dream<br><br />
and hold me when I falling<br><br />
into an endless scream<br><br />
for all my days are empty<br><br />
when they are void of you<br><br />
and there is no one else<br><br />
and nothing else to do<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken record (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I feel like a broken record<br />
:: some days<br><br />
broken in so many ways,<br><br />
like the sunlight breaking through my<br><br />
walls was just a joke I made,<br><br />
I played–<br><br />
do you understand the roles we play?<br><br />
in this game we call<br><br />
a thing I won't invoke<br><br />
I feel it down in my bones<br><br />
and I'm asking you to know<br><br />
the person I am<br />
:: who I could be<br><br />
before I enter eternity<br />
<br />
=== 4/10/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[heart unawares (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so mark me down as one who cares<br><br />
you catch my heart down, unawares<br><br />
where all can see how open and<br><br />
feel what they don't understand<br />
<br />
== June 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[in a temple (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my heart lives in a temple<br><br />
the ceilings tall and white<br><br />
arcing over above me<br><br />
glowing in sunlight<br />
<br />
my soul rests on an altar<br><br />
within the fires bright<br><br />
here the warmth will hold me<br><br />
ever in the light<br />
<br />
==== [[so often (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
once upon a time, I wrote so easily and so often<br><br />
the words danced on my tongue and spilt in ink— I hear the bells<br><br />
chiming out the songs and melodies within my heartspace<br><br />
and filling all my mind with all that was and what can be<br />
<br />
==== [[loud and clear (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
I hear you<br><br />
loud and clear<br><br />
you claim you do not<br><br />
want me near<br><br />
and yet you linger<br><br />
so close to me<br><br />
as if demanding<br><br />
that my eyes see<br />
<br />
==== [[For One Thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Today, I hope for one thing<br><br />
To catch up to myself in flight<br><br />
Where my wings went out ahead of me<br><br />
To carry me into the light<br />
<br />
==== [[in order (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I don't write in order<br><br />
but I don't care<br><br />
I do not do it right<br><br />
not unaware<br><br />
but watch me weave my words<br><br />
and mark it well<br><br />
when one day you fall under<br><br />
my own spell<br />
<br />
=== 6/8/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[see notebook (4)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have cried so many tears<br><br />
It's time to put away my fears<br><br />
And look ahead to coming years<br><br />
With hope in Christ, so I draw near<br />
<br />
== July 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/25/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[in the end (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1002/in-the-end-poem/ SMP]<br />
<br />
I am not broken<br><br />
I wrote some years ago<br><br />
that is not how I feel today<br><br />
trust not feelings<br><br />
many say<br><br />
and I'm still one of those<br />
<br />
I trust in the Hand<br><br />
that carried me down<br><br />
two sets of stairs alive<br><br />
safe in a bubble<br><br />
as head over heels<br><br />
I tumbled and crashed—I tried<br><br />
to know this feeling<br><br />
deeper than bones<br><br />
through the slow-eroding flood<br><br />
to know in my heart<br><br />
to write in my blood<br><br />
that I shall emerge in the end<br />
<br />
=== 7/28/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (5) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[tonight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am quiet tonight<br><br />
I say again<br><br />
as if I were not quiet<br><br />
every other night<br><br />
and as if the stars don't twinkle<br><br />
up in the deep blue sky<br><br />
more quiet than my softest<br><br />
deepest sigh<br />
<br />
== August 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 8/9/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[in quietness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/in-quietness-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
in quietness I wait<br><br />
and here I stay<br><br />
where hope and light have burned<br><br />
seems for always<br><br />
they guide me through the<br><br />
darkness and the deep<br><br />
and keep me when I wander<br><br />
through my sleep<br />
<br />
=== 8/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[seems not intuition (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/9a72274ed2a8420eaf99aed49c24711b Maker], 8 lines<br />
<br />
=== 8/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[He Calls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1006/he-calls-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
the quiet lingers<br><br />
in my bones<br><br />
I hear the voice<br><br />
my soul still knows<br><br />
He calls, He calls<br><br />
with love to me<br><br />
and to His home<br><br />
my heart will flee<br />
<br />
==== [[heartsore (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1012/heartsore-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
bruised and broken, heartsore, torn<br><br />
though I cry as if newborn<br><br />
and though my skin is new and red<br><br />
as though with blood, I'm bound to tread<br />
<br />
yet and still, my God believes<br><br />
in who I am if I receive<br><br />
the plan He once laid out for me<br><br />
I reach to Him and He to me<br />
<br />
==== [[a little songbird (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1015/a-little-songbird-poem/ SMP], 12 lines<br />
<br />
there's a little songbird in my heart<br><br />
you hear that clear, sweet melody? so far<br><br />
beyond the urge within me to lie down<br><br />
ashamed enough that I would go to ground<br />
<br />
I hear the echo clearly in my soul<br><br />
of Light shining so brightly, as if I know<br><br />
a secret I have only just forgot<br><br />
the One who saw my fully and who bought<br />
<br />
my life with Love so perfect, for His love<br><br />
laid down His own and bought me with His blood<br><br />
this the source of that small, perfect song<br><br />
I listen to the songbird and go on<br />
<br />
==== [[candles (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1017/candles-poem/ SMP], 4 lines<br />
<br />
we wait, like little children<br><br />
candles in the night<br><br />
shining for our Father<br><br />
that others see His light<br />
<br />
==== [[the golden sea (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/the-golden-sea-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
the golden sea within your eyes<br><br />
an innocence devoid of lies<br><br />
a perfect love I've never seen<br><br />
how could I not love all you've been?<br />
<br />
==== [[let this be known (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/let-this-be-known-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
fire and light within my soul<br><br />
stand by your side, let this be known<br><br />
for any who would mean you harm<br><br />
shall face me first, this I have sworn<br />
<br />
==== [[a kind of lightning (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/a-kind-of-lightning-poem/ NB], 24 lines<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
there's a kind of lightning in the tongue<br><br />
fired up when hea'en and earth were young<br><br />
a light that shines but only in a heart<br><br />
a passion that can pierce the fiercest dark<br />
<br />
there's a kind of love that beats anew<br><br />
with every pain and trial we've been through<br><br />
a desperate loyalty that knows no cure<br><br />
and never wants but for it to endure<br />
<br />
there's an open question in your eyes<br><br />
a broken invitation we realize<br><br />
burnt into the pattern of our lives<br><br />
we clasp our hands together in the light<br />
<br />
there's a bond that's older than the earth<br><br />
a blood far deeper than the blood of birth<br><br />
a covenant between your heart and mine<br><br />
there is no line between us and that's fine<br />
<br />
there is an end of battle on the field<br><br />
an enemy we promised to make yield<br><br />
a victory that's sweeter for the sharing<br><br />
we never learned a song where we weren't caring<br />
<br />
for there's a friend that's closer than a brother<br><br />
and family that's dearer than our mother<br><br />
and that which can't be broken in our lives<br><br />
nor in worlds beyond still in our eyes<br />
<br />
== September 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 9/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the one (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
I see you in the stars above<br><br />
bright shining in the dark I loved<br><br />
before my eyes could see the sun<br><br />
because of you: you are the one<br />
<br />
==== [[crystal (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
moments broken and shattered like crystal vases<br><br />
fallen from their heights, spilled out of cages<br><br />
cherished songbirds locked between the bars<br><br />
free at last, the price of endless wars<br><br />
if my heart could capture in these phantom<br><br />
images refracted, glowing bright<br><br />
all the moments crystalline and perfect<br><br />
that carried me through battlefields at night<br><br />
then maybe I would hold too close to vases<br><br />
full of glitt'ring memories like flowers<br><br />
and maybe images would be my master<br><br />
instead of lending me their inward powers<br><br />
and so I stretch my fingers out—a songbird<br><br />
spreads her wings and flies away at last<br><br />
I spread my arms, my eyes upon the sunset<br><br />
and walk away from all the roads I passed<br />
<br />
=== 9/5/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[like the sun come down (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For L and D''<br />
<br />
you look at me<br><br />
I stretch out my legs, to look at you slowly<br><br />
is to burn like the sun come down<br><br />
out of its heavens and perch on my sill<br><br />
you're there at the window<br><br />
jabbering like the dark jays, flirting their wings<br><br />
and jawing their little beaks<br><br />
full up of things to say and also<br><br />
of too many things to eat<br><br />
I feel a hunger inside me<br><br />
to taste all the words in your mouth<br><br />
and the smile flashing like sunlight<br><br />
over your face, strike me like beams<br><br />
golden and bright and a little too warm<br><br />
I look at you<br><br />
the same way you look at me<br><br />
when you think I'm not looking<br><br />
for friendship blossomed between us<br><br />
too long ago to turn back now<br><br />
too far ago and too rooted<br><br />
to burn it all down and start over<br><br />
but every evening the sun goes down<br><br />
and every morning the sun rises up<br><br />
I think to myself if I push under horizon<br><br />
that maybe the morning will come<br />
<br />
=== 9/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[strange days (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I have strange days—<br />
:: that's what they feel like<br />
:: burning under pain and a tingling, ravaged feeling in my chest<br><br />
this is not the end of the road<br><br />
and wouldn't it be nice to know when that will come?<br><br />
but I promised my sister, my very best friend<br><br />
that so long as she's on the road<br><br />
I'll be there too<br><br />
I feel it on these days when wings almost wake inside me<br><br />
beating within my breast like a captured song<br><br />
begging to be released<br><br />
when I feel the heat<br><br />
burning up under my skin and I cry<br><br />
with the cries of a thousand birds within the cage<br><br />
of my body, my tongue, my life<br><br />
this is the day I look to the heavens and pray<br><br />
for wings that break through cocoons and shatter the wind between them<br><br />
send life through my veins, and stiffen me up<br><br />
so I can take to the skies<br />
<br />
=== 9/9/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[smoke and ash and dust (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have burned to pieces<br><br />
been broken and distraught<br><br />
felt cities walls come crashing<br><br />
where my heart has bled and fought<br><br />
until the sands were stained<br><br />
with evidence of tears<br><br />
and the night was covered<br><br />
with the leavings of the years<br><br />
smoke and ash and dust<br><br />
cascading through the air<br><br />
I have learned to trust<br><br />
for you still found me there<br />
<br />
=== 9/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[what I can take (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do not bruise me<br><br />
do not make me ache<br><br />
please<br><br />
there's only so much that I can take<br><br />
the shivering leaves<br><br />
in bristling winds<br><br />
the breezes blow<br><br />
my breath begins<br><br />
I feel it there<br><br />
the steady pounding<br><br />
thrumming, drowning out my thoughts<br><br />
in time with you<br><br />
your tongue<br />
<br />
=== 9/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[don’t always (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[https://scribblemyname.tumblr.com/post/630741924075175937/dont-always-poem tumblr]<br />
<br />
I don't always talk a lot<br><br />
sometimes I talk too much<br><br />
I never say the things<br><br />
festering inside my heart<br><br />
the color of rain that breathes<br><br />
out my sorrow and fear<br><br />
the sweetness of every moment<br><br />
I forget that you're not here<br />
<br />
== October 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 10/6/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== see notebook ====<br />
<br />
=== 10/11/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm lost<br><br />
And the trees have withered<br><br />
Paid the full cost<br><br />
To carry me hither<br><br />
I wanted to know<br><br />
More than I contain<br><br />
Full to the brim<br><br />
What I cannot explain<br />
<br />
=== 10/13/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[I have words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have feelings<br><br />
I have words<br><br />
where do I put them?<br><br />
why aren't they heard?<br><br />
they look at me<br><br />
disappointed eyes<br><br />
I turn away<br><br />
and look at the sky<br />
<br />
=== 10/20/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[illusion (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/10/illusion-poem/ NB] [Tumblr], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''for F and Y''<br />
<br />
There's a moment, beautiful and new<br><br />
Where I open my eyes and see you<br><br />
I reach out my hands, as if I could touch<br><br />
Dispel the illusion–I miss you so much<br />
<br />
=== 10/21/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[The Day I Wake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Today is the day that I wake<br><br />
Feel the decisions I'll make<br><br />
The day that's before me can quake<br><br />
The heart that's within me won't shake<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayer # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
God of our Fathers, I pray You this day<br><br />
To open the eyes of Your children who pray<br><br />
And open the ears of all who may say<br><br />
Thy will be done– Lord God, have Your way!<br />
<br />
==== [[see the tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is a new day, a new morning,<br><br />
breaking upon me like dawn on the sea.<br><br />
See the tides washing over me–<br><br />
a sea of possibility<br><br />
lies open before me,<br><br />
a horizon of sun.<br />
<br />
== November 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 11/1/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[biting at my insides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I feel it<br><br />
biting at my insides<br><br />
like sunlight chewing on the underside<br><br />
of a dark horizon<br><br />
just before it consumes it all<br><br />
in light<br><br />
this is not a bad thing<br><br />
the itch to change<br><br />
to be someone I want to be<br><br />
someone I am not now<br><br />
but somehow someone<br><br />
I can become<br />
<br />
==== [[legendary (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''for K and B''<br />
<br />
this is the history of us<br><br />
we were legendary once<br><br />
for all the wrong reasons<br><br />
did they know you changed the world<br><br />
overwrote my history<br><br />
with futures beyond imagining<br><br />
if only "I" was "we"<br><br />
you went beyond the story<br><br />
a hero from my dreams<br><br />
I followed and I'll follow<br><br />
you're legend still to me<br />
<br />
=== 11/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[The Color of Silence (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What is the color of silence?<br><br />
Purple and dusky, I'm thinking<br><br />
Of you and all of our memories,<br><br />
Waiting outside in the grass,<br><br />
Cool water under my footsteps<br><br />
From sprinklers in the hot summer.<br><br />
I'm sure there was ambient music<br><br />
Of crickets that sang in the fields,<br><br />
But all I remember is silence:<br><br />
Purple toward the late evening,<br><br />
Blue as we passed into morning,<br><br />
Orange with the light of the dawn,<br><br />
And green in the yard where we played in<br><br />
The grass—our laughter a song.<br />
<br />
==== [[Turtle (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[Tumblr]<br />
<br />
There are things I need to do:<br><br />
I know it,<br><br />
So don't bother me about it.<br><br />
I'll get there when I get there,<br><br />
When my body<br><br />
Stops fighting me so hard and mostly winning,<br><br />
When I feel the rising urge in me toward victory.<br><br />
Patience, turtle—that's what wins the race.<br />
<br />
=== 11/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[my pen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not waiting the way you think I am<br><br />
I'm lying still, anticipating<br><br />
brightness breaking; I move my pen<br><br />
for this is where the light comes in<br />
<br />
=== 11/18/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Sense of Self (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
There are bruises on my sense of self<br><br />
In the shape of footprints where you have walked<br><br />
I do not blame you or anyone else<br><br />
I put salve on my wounds and refuse to back down<br />
<br />
=== 11/21/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[no peace (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/11/no-peace-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
There is no peace today<br><br />
No empty winds in which to pray<br><br />
No silence to allow a song<br><br />
No one to ask just what went wrong<br />
<br />
=== 11/24/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[a good start (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the light is beautiful each morning<br><br />
I wake to brand new brightness in my heart<br><br />
call upon the mercies of the Father<br><br />
this is what I call a good start<br />
<br />
==== [[not the end (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning to my heart again<br><br />
please remember, sensitive friend<br><br />
this is not at all the end<br><br />
carry on; I'll see you then<br />
<br />
=== 11/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[God Bless (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1029/god-bless-poem/ SMP], 12 lines<br />
<br />
God bless you, morning<br><br />
God bless you, day<br><br />
God bless each person<br><br />
On my way<br><br />
God bless those working<br><br />
And those at play<br><br />
God bless those crying<br><br />
With aught to say<br><br />
God bless those seeking<br><br />
With what they need<br><br />
And those in chains<br><br />
That they be freed<br />
<br />
==== [[for the light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1031/for-the-light-poem/ SMP], 4 lines<br />
<br />
I pray for the light<br><br />
with open hands<br><br />
and open mind<br><br />
to understand<br />
<br />
==== [[a bright light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1033/a-bright-light-poem/ SMP], 5 lines<br />
<br />
hope is a bright light<br><br />
beams traveling over my heart<br><br />
by hours<br><br />
to see it, to touch it, <em>believe</em> it<br><br />
my powers<br />
<br />
==== [[my heartbeat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/11/my-heartbeat-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
an ageless question I ask myself<br><br />
who am I if I'm without<br><br />
your matchless love alive in me<br><br />
as real, as needed as my heartbeat<br />
<br />
== December 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 12/1/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (4) ====<br />
<br />
=== 12/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[The Rule (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am a blank book somedays<br><br />
Open up my pages; I will write<br><br />
Ink between the nonexistent lines<br><br />
You cannot see the rules I use to guide<br />
<br />
I feel it, as a writer does, the rules<br><br />
Are only there to serve me, not be served<br><br />
There is only one rule still reserved<br><br />
For use: whate'er you do, it has to work<br />
<br />
==== [[with words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
open days before me, writ in simple ink<br><br />
there are things I speak and do, and there are things I think<br><br />
we open hearts with promises, we open minds with words<br><br />
by hearing comes the faith that breathes with all our hearts have heard<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers for the New Year # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning again to the bright come morning, soon upon the horizon<br><br />
I wake, I open my eyes to see, as the new day is arriving<br><br />
Within my heart, a simple prayer is born and spreads its wings<br><br />
May God above within me live and fill up everything<br />
<br />
==== [[this scribbling thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a while, you see<br><br />
since we did this scribbling thing<br><br />
I take up my cup of tea<br><br />
and bruise the paper with ink<br><br />
I open my eyes to see<br><br />
the jet trails through my heart<br><br />
and dutifully scribble them down<br><br />
before the day can start<br />
<br />
==== [[I miss the days (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N''<br />
<br />
I feel the pain of walking alone,<br><br />
where once there was love my heart had known,<br><br />
a listening ear, an open hand,<br><br />
one who would often understand–<br><br />
I miss the days when you were here<br><br />
and feel it when memory draws near:<br><br />
I push away the nascent pain,<br><br />
wake up, and do it all again<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers for the New Year # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Dear God, I pray for peace today<br><br />
For strength to walk within Your way<br><br />
For hope to guide my wayward heart<br><br />
To Your light through any dark<br />
<br />
==== [[We Rise (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
We rise, we shine– Pray, shine the light<br><br />
Over here where lingers night<br><br />
And open hearts ablaze with hope<br><br />
For all that God can do: we know<br><br />
That bright upon that ancient day<br><br />
When tyranny still held its sway<br><br />
When Christ's own servants turned to pray<br><br />
And took up arms to free and save<br><br />
Our God was with us! We were freed<br><br />
From the chains of tyranny<br><br />
Which bore down on our conscience and<br><br />
Refused to represent our land<br><br />
Patriots! Rise up and speak<br><br />
Do not let what made us free<br><br />
Fall to silence nor be lost<br><br />
No matter what shall be the cost<br><br />
Whether our names in infamy<br><br />
Are writ upon dark histories<br><br />
Whether we lose all fortune or name<br><br />
Now is the time to victory claim!<br />
<br />
==== [[A Poem for Thanksgiving (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Give thanks to the God of heaven for<br><br />
The love He pours out on us<br><br />
Give thanks to the God of mercy who<br><br />
For us went to the cross<br><br />
Give thanks for the love that brought us through<br><br />
With mercy through this year<br><br />
For all the ones whom our hearts love<br><br />
For all that we hold dear<br />
<br />
=== 12/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK ====<br />
<br />
==== [[tears (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
tears<br><br />
I don't have time for tears<br><br />
or maybe fears<br><br />
stop up the way<br><br />
with stones<br><br />
lying in the path<br><br />
through my stomach, my heart<br><br />
I feel<br><br />
the brimming wave within<br><br />
the depthless tide<br><br />
the pouring rain<br><br />
tsunami high<br><br />
and yet don't cry<br />
<br />
<br />
=== 12/6/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[breaking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
moments breaking<br><br />
like tidal waves<br><br />
all the thoughts<br><br />
I didn't capture<br><br />
let them wash up<br><br />
on their way<br><br />
to distant shores<br><br />
I cry no more<br />
<br />
==== [[hereafter (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I live hereafter<br><br />
the storm, the rain<br><br />
the ruthless pain<br><br />
that stills my heart<br><br />
then beats again<br><br />
if I could start<br><br />
where all things did<br><br />
would I run where<br><br />
this road has led<br />
<br />
==== [[lit fuse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
burning in my chest<br><br />
the lit fuse glow of all my pain<br><br />
beating and thrumming, a livid dance<br><br />
I cry, release, and dance again<br />
<br />
==== [[balm be in Gilead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I feel the light bursting within me<br><br />
and pray for the cool of heavenly mercy<br><br />
let balm be in Gilead and salve on my heart<br><br />
heal me lest I be consumed in the dark<br />
<br />
==== [[swallow (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I break me down in pieces<br><br />
to be easier to swallow<br><br />
this is just preparing<br><br />
for a new and old tomorrow<br><br />
every day and every week<br><br />
I carry on; there's more to follow<br><br />
never can give up<br><br />
I'll not surrender for forever<br />
<br />
==== [[for sale (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
it's a word I use sometimes<br><br />
it used to mean the thing I wasn't<br><br />
but now I wonder<br><br />
though I shouldn't<br><br />
if ideas giving birth<br><br />
to reality when I buy them<br><br />
means to leave them on the shelf<br><br />
unless I want to try them<br><br />
and what I want right now<br><br />
is just not to be broken<br />
<br />
=== 12/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the spoken (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am feeling lost and a little broken<br><br />
had plans on my mind and now they're spoken<br><br />
that is when they start to feel too hard<br><br />
I hide away inside: we'll try tomorrow<br />
<br />
=== 12/27/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Upon a Time (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, I was a writer<br><br />
And once upon a time, I was a fighter<br><br />
Once upon a time, the world seemed brighter<br><br />
Now it doesn't seem it's getting lighter<br />
<br />
Break it into pieces, all the old things<br><br />
And raze it to the ground when I am crying<br><br />
Don't you know that in my heart I'm trying<br><br />
I promise some tomorrow I'll be flying<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, I felt it burning<br><br />
Words alight with promise, ever churning<br><br />
Now and then I feel the world turning<br><br />
Do you understand that I am yearning?<br />
<br />
We do not forget the times we lived through<br><br />
There is all and then some still to give you<br><br />
I have not poured out yet in the deep blue<br><br />
Every short and long stick that I drew<br />
<br />
See you on the morrow, that's a promise<br><br />
Words upon my tongue, no doubting Thomas<br><br />
I believe what I've not seen...</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4663Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-25T01:38:05Z<p>Lianamir: /* 7/24/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801 FFA], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857 FFA], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid<br />
<br />
=== 7/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[down the road (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
today is the day I was born<br><br />
however many years ago<br><br />
they say eventually you'll get<br><br />
wherever you're trying to go<br><br />
if you just keep on traveling<br><br />
onward down the road<br><br />
I hope it's true and live it too<br><br />
carrying my load<br />
<br />
=== 7/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
AIRTABLED<br />
<br />
==== [[Hollow (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
You cannot know me<br><br />
For I walk a road you cannot follow<br><br />
Within my bones, you'll find them hollow<br><br />
I spread my wings, within me soar<br><br />
I promise only inward roar<br><br />
For this you will not see<br />
<br />
==== [[obliged (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am not obliged<br><br />
to be oppressed by pain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to catch a cold in rain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to live my life in vain<br><br />
I stand upon my feet<br><br />
and rise again, again<br />
<br />
==== [[tulip (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have heard the sound of a poem in my soul<br><br />
whispering like trees whisper over the unknown<br><br />
rustling like the gentle breeze, wherever it may blow<br><br />
this life blooming within me is a tulip in the snow<br />
<br />
==== [[Name (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hello, it's you<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your name<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your fame<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your claim<br><br />
Hello, it's me<br><br />
I'll not hand out my true name<br><br />
I'd rather that you do the same<br><br />
I'm someone you never can tame<br />
<br />
==== [[do not linger (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
They say there are answers waiting for those who seek<br><br />
Even if all we do is just take a peek<br><br />
Promise you when I vanish that I am not weak<br><br />
I do not linger in place: I climb for the peak</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4662Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-25T00:30:08Z<p>Lianamir: /* 7/18/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801 FFA], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857 FFA], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid<br />
<br />
=== 7/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[down the road (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
today is the day I was born<br><br />
however many years ago<br><br />
they say eventually you'll get<br><br />
wherever you're trying to go<br><br />
if you just keep on traveling<br><br />
onward down the road<br><br />
I hope it's true and live it too<br><br />
carrying my load<br />
<br />
=== 7/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Hollow (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
You cannot know me<br><br />
For I walk a road you cannot follow<br><br />
Within my bones, you'll find them hollow<br><br />
I spread my wings, within me soar<br><br />
I promise only inward roar<br><br />
For this you will not see<br />
<br />
==== [[obliged (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am not obliged<br><br />
to be oppressed by pain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to catch a cold in rain<br><br />
and I am not obliged<br><br />
to live my life in vain<br><br />
I stand upon my feet<br><br />
and rise again, again<br />
<br />
==== [[tulip (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have heard the sound of a poem in my soul<br><br />
whispering like trees whisper over the unknown<br><br />
rustling like the gentle breeze, wherever it may blow<br><br />
this life blooming within me is a tulip in the snow<br />
<br />
==== [[Name (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hello, it's you<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your name<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your fame<br><br />
I haven't forgotten your claim<br><br />
Hello, it's me<br><br />
I'll not hand out my true name<br><br />
I'd rather that you do the same<br><br />
I'm someone you never can tame<br />
<br />
==== [[do not linger (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
They say there are answers waiting for those who seek<br><br />
Even if all we do is just take a peek<br><br />
Promise you when I vanish that I am not weak<br><br />
I do not linger in place: I climb for the peak</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4661Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-18T19:22:53Z<p>Lianamir: /* July 2021 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801 FFA], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857 FFA], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid<br />
<br />
=== 7/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[down the road (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
today is the day I was born<br><br />
however many years ago<br><br />
they say eventually you'll get<br><br />
wherever you're trying to go<br><br />
if you just keep on traveling<br><br />
onward down the road<br><br />
I hope it's true and live it too<br><br />
carrying my load</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4660Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-17T22:57:36Z<p>Lianamir: /* 7/4/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801 FFA], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857 FFA], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4659Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-17T22:57:05Z<p>Lianamir: /* 7/4/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [FFA https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [FFA https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857], 158 words<br />
<br />
=== 7/17/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[vivid (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
maybe I'll bloom in the wasteland<br><br />
maybe my light will be hid<br><br />
in the desperate depths of obscurity<br><br />
but never under a lid<br><br />
perhaps you've heard that old saying<br><br />
perhaps you never did<br><br />
security through obscurity is not<br><br />
security— I am still vivid</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4658Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-04T19:43:20Z<p>Lianamir: /* 7/4/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [FFA https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801], 200 words<br />
# Sword Dancer (Solo Leveling): [FFA https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004335857#cmt3004335857], 158 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4657Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-07-04T19:33:32Z<p>Lianamir: /* somebody told me (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound<br />
<br />
== July 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Only Fair (Solo Leveling): [FFA https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/498929.html?thread=3004211185&posted=1#cmt3004322801], 200 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4656Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-06-27T03:34:20Z<p>Lianamir: /* do you (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you<br />
<br />
==== [[somebody told me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
somebody told me, don't play around<br><br />
somebody once said that I went to ground<br><br />
somebody asked where I could be found<br><br />
I in myself did not make a sound</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4655Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-06-27T03:33:22Z<p>Lianamir: /* 6/26/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start<br />
<br />
==== [[do you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do you understand me?<br><br />
no<br><br />
do you think you do?<br><br />
maybe<br><br />
should I even care?<br><br />
no<br><br />
I'll do me and you<br><br />
do you</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4654Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-06-27T02:06:14Z<p>Lianamir: /* don't ask (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went<br />
<br />
=== 6/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[pretend (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pretend to sleep<br><br />
so maybe then that I could leave<br><br />
and you won't ask of me<br><br />
if you could always see<br><br />
leach my heart of color<br><br />
like the fading leaves<br><br />
hide my soul and windows<br><br />
like the widow grieves<br />
<br />
beneath the quiet stillness<br><br />
below and in the dark<br><br />
there perhaps some person<br><br />
still could hear my beating heart<br><br />
I do not want a part<br><br />
of all of this performance art<br><br />
I want a future far<br><br />
ahead of me and start</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4653Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-06-24T19:01:29Z<p>Lianamir: /* somethingness (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings<br />
<br />
==== [[when (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am supposed to work now<br><br />
I'm not above working<br><br />
under the weather with me now?<br><br />
I'm sorry, you have my sympathies<br><br />
I used to overachieve then<br><br />
remember that talented when<br><br />
wish it had been timeless<br><br />
so it didn't have to end<br />
<br />
==== [[How to Breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A life of chronic things,<br><br />
Forgetting how to breathe.<br><br />
Don't stop to walk with me,<br><br />
Or you might not leave.<br><br />
I used to be a queen<br><br />
Of making things get done.<br><br />
I used to win the prizes<br><br />
And calculate the sums.<br><br />
Now I live in moments,<br><br />
Drifting through my days,<br><br />
Praying for survival,<br><br />
Enduring once again.<br />
<br />
==== [[don't ask (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't ask me when I changed: I do not know<br><br />
don't ask me where the time went: do we grow<br><br />
when no one else is looking? only then<br><br />
don't ask me why it's gone or where it went</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4652Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-06-24T18:39:28Z<p>Lianamir: /* Can't Say No (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe<br />
<br />
== June 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/24/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Cost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Do you know the way that I should go?<br><br />
Or the feelings that I feel?<br><br />
Do you understand the wounds on me?<br><br />
Do you have a way to heal?<br><br />
For all that's broken, all that's lost,<br><br />
It is not lost on me<br><br />
That I have paid a terrible cost<br><br />
To have these eyes that see.<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I've been a broken thing,<br><br />
dancing on broken wings<br><br />
on the covert, quiet breeze—<br><br />
no one ever told me please, I—<br><br />
feel it in our bones and<br><br />
feel it where we stand— don't<br><br />
think I will let go<br><br />
now that I'm whole and know<br />
<br />
==== [[somethingness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
give voice to these thoughts inside me<br><br />
words take shape in the nothingness<br><br />
somethingness born out of feelings<br><br />
this is the sound of my breathings</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4651Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-05-28T03:11:41Z<p>Lianamir: /* To Do (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[More To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4650Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-05-28T03:11:30Z<p>Lianamir: /* To Do (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know<br />
<br />
==== [[Can't Say No (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
Put the brakes on; I can't say no to you<br><br />
There's only so much I can take, and only so much to do<br><br />
I promise my heart won't break, so long as you stay by me<br><br />
I promise I won't walk away, lest I forget how to breathe</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4649Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-05-28T03:08:51Z<p>Lianamir: /* 5/27/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have more writing to do<br><br />
In the dark night<br><br />
Don't come in here to wake me<br><br />
Just stay out of my sight<br><br />
Until the tip, tap, tapping<br><br />
Brings in computer glow<br><br />
The words my heart is fighting<br><br />
To let the world know</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4648Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-05-28T03:04:04Z<p>Lianamir: /* 4/21/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21<br />
<br />
== May 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 5/27/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Queen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Honey, do you understand I am a queen?<br><br />
This is my world I made, just look between<br><br />
Those lines, that ink, the words I do not say<br><br />
Are where my heart and feelings love to play<br><br />
Do not deny my kingdom nor my might<br><br />
To rule when imagination takes its flight<br><br />
On soaring wings— O let my heartache roar<br><br />
Until what brought me here can speak no more</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4647Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-23T11:11:43Z<p>Lianamir: /* Fanfic, 4/21/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4646Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-23T11:11:37Z<p>Lianamir: /* 4/18/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4645Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-23T11:11:26Z<p>Lianamir: /* 4/21/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic, 4/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4644Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-23T11:11:14Z<p>Lianamir: /* 4/18/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic, 4/18/21 ====<br />
<br />
# We Get What We Deserve (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30616820 AO3], 6196 words<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4643Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-23T11:09:26Z<p>Lianamir: /* a nod (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud<br />
<br />
=== 4/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Four Part Harmony (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30740069 AO3], 5072 words - 4/21/21</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Poetry_2020&diff=4642Challenge: Daily Poetry 20202021-04-22T11:35:30Z<p>Lianamir: /* legendary (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]]<br />
<br />
== January 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/1/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 7 Poems<br />
* 45 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[So Many Things (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/so-many-things-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
So many things that I should write<br><br />
If words would come, my day be bright<br><br />
And shiny then, but now so dull<br><br />
I pray for rain 'fore I must go<br />
<br />
==== [[The Days (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hello there again<br><br />
A new year is come<br><br />
The days are our friends<br><br />
More great than the sum<br><br />
Of hours between<br><br />
Both good and the bad<br><br />
I give thanks and believe<br><br />
In all that I had<br />
<br />
==== [[The Sharp Chill (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N''<br />
<br />
Missing you is a knife-sharp breath<br><br />
Like my lungs on a winter's day<br><br />
Breathing in the sharp chill<br><br />
Where is warmth? Where is love?<br><br />
You were always my fill<br />
<br />
==== [[SPAG (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am asked to punctuate and capitalize properly<br><br />
And there is a part of my heart that just balks<br><br />
There's a breath and a cadence I'm trying to say<br><br />
And hope in between all the words that it talks<br />
<br />
==== [[New Light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning to a brand new year!<br><br />
I say goodbye to all my fear:<br><br />
And leave it as I find new light—<br><br />
The days ahead are shining bright.<br />
<br />
==== [[letters to our (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we write letters to our friends and call it journal<br><br />
these steps along the way of our own journey<br><br />
no one knows our heart but we ourselves<br><br />
but we set them out on fancy shelves<br><br />
and open up the doors and windows—"Shop!<br><br />
and buy my wares, if only you would stop,"<br><br />
we kindly say, our invitation warm<br><br />
and buffer me, we dream, through life's long storm<br />
<br />
==== [[of saints (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
joy is of the saints<br><br />
I theme I find in mind a lot<br><br />
where do I fit within this slot?<br><br />
have I a tongue and does it sing?<br><br />
what happiness do I bring<br><br />
or find is brought to me?<br><br />
there are moments that I see<br><br />
what looks like joy that feints<br><br />
my fingers slip, I need<br><br />
to find another creed<br><br />
that amplifies my hope<br><br />
for this is the way I cope<br />
<br />
=== 1/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 10 Poems<br />
* 52 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[New Start (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A new day breaks<br><br />
Upon my heart<br><br />
A promise here<br><br />
Is your new start<br><br />
And so with open<br><br />
Hands I take<br><br />
My brand new choices<br><br />
Mine to make<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers, Series III, #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I thank You, God of all good things<br><br />
For love, for hope, for family<br><br />
And pray for more of Your great strength<br><br />
To hold me close and grant me wings<br />
<br />
==== [[A Blade of Grass (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hope is a blade of grass, the herb of the field<br><br />
Any scattered seed may grow and find the light<br><br />
Above the dust of the earth, fed by the Spirit<br><br />
Until we reach the sun and linger near it<br />
<br />
==== [[Different (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Hope burns in my heart<br><br />
Today will be different<br><br />
My eyes will see a new light<br><br />
And find a new end<br />
<br />
==== [[only for you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
quiet awaits me in moments<br><br />
hidden behind closed doors<br><br />
you draw me out, you wish me<br><br />
to be more like before<br><br />
I open my eyes and whisper<br><br />
only when you's who it's for<br />
<br />
==== [[cold (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not cold, I promise<br><br />
it just hurts<br><br />
I never meant to hurt you<br><br />
forgive me please<br><br />
I never meant to break us<br><br />
or make you leave<br />
<br />
==== [[wake up, my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake up, new day<br><br />
wake up, my heart<br><br />
we watch and pray<br><br />
we make a start<br><br />
upon the way<br><br />
before our eyes<br><br />
we do and say<br><br />
to reach the prize<br />
<br />
==== [[sold (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sold! to the highest bidder—my heart<br><br />
wrap up all the pieces—like shards<br><br />
of precious gems and jewels in the dark<br><br />
gleaming with the light of a spark<br />
<br />
==== [[moments warm (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
golden moments, warm and pure<br><br />
full of love—my family<br><br />
gathered, laughing, groaning with tales<br><br />
funny and punny and true<br />
<br />
==== [[the way the laughter (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I love the way the laughter fills<br><br />
the air, my heart, and lingers still<br><br />
when all of us have gone to bed<br><br />
within my dreams and in my head<br />
<br />
=== 1/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 Poems<br />
* 29 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[my cry (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is my cry for help<br><br />
do you notice me clutching my throat<br><br />
unable to breathe<br><br />
I beg you, please<br><br />
like you notice the changing of leaves<br />
<br />
==== [[software, dear (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you can do it, software dear<br><br />
exert yourself; please make it clear<br><br />
what was done: I need to see<br><br />
your data captured just for me<br />
<br />
==== [[where did you go? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A and LO''<br />
<br />
I saw you fall<br><br />
where did you go?<br><br />
lost? my child<br><br />
know what you know<br><br />
hold to it hard<br><br />
and don't walk away<br><br />
all I have asked<br><br />
ever is stay<br />
<br />
==== [[no sense (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For a flukey bug''<br />
<br />
no sense at all<br><br />
what would it mean<br><br />
you look just like<br><br />
what you're between<br><br />
but one before<br><br />
behaves itself<br><br />
and after you<br><br />
is someone else<br><br />
who's also fine<br><br />
and all the time<br><br />
I say confused<br><br />
no sense at all<br />
<br />
=== 1/4/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 Poems<br />
* 15 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[to pass (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
still awake. at last, at last...<br><br />
the quiet future comes to pass<br><br />
beneath the sun, the bawling wind<br><br />
I find myself and let it in<br />
<br />
==== [[and also pray (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
another Sabbath upon us<br><br />
the presence of God invited in<br><br />
we praise, give thanks, and also pray<br><br />
for Christ in us, our hope begin<br />
<br />
==== [[let me be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keep quiet<br><br />
stop controlling<br><br />
me<br><br />
I wait<br><br />
for a moment<br><br />
when you let me<br><br />
be<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 Poems<br />
* 13 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[for you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
if I hurt, I hurt for you<br><br />
and if I ache, I ache for you<br><br />
that trembling need under my skin<br><br />
hopes for you just once again<br />
<br />
==== [[a singular moment (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
a singular moment<br><br />
captured in time<br><br />
my memory a camera<br><br />
this photograph mine<br />
<br />
==== [[cry (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we cry<br><br />
the heat running up our body<br><br />
the urge sharp behind our eyes<br><br />
and dream of a morning come early<br><br />
when all of this feeling may die<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 Poems<br />
* 20 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[to do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
thoughts and things<br><br />
I wish to do<br><br />
quite so many<br><br />
but I'll get through<br />
<br />
prioritize<br><br />
hope the best<br><br />
reach the prize<br><br />
leave the rest<br />
<br />
==== [[stakes (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
numbers, colors— winning hand<br><br />
pray my heart will understand<br><br />
closing in, the final round<br><br />
unafraid, I still will go<br />
<br />
==== [[make 'em count (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
count 'em up<br><br />
count 'em down<br><br />
when all's done<br><br />
make 'em count<br><br />
number up<br><br />
the days and heart<br><br />
shuffle, cut<br><br />
and now restart<br />
<br />
=== 1/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poems<br />
* 37 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[labels (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/labels-poem/ NB], 14 lines<br />
<br />
I could be bold<br><br />
like the colors of ancient crayons<br><br />
unlikely adjectives sprawled<br><br />
over the yellow labels<br><br />
I peeled them off sometimes<br><br />
and let the hearts shine through<br><br />
like all your labels peel<br><br />
off my heart— the boxes<br><br />
of judgment placed on me<br><br />
the gleaming walls<br><br />
invisible cages<br><br />
off in yellow, birchlike strips<br><br />
I blaze inside, unlikely<br><br />
colors and shine<br />
<br />
==== [[a name (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/a-name-poem/ NB], 19 lines<br />
<br />
call me something, anything,<br><br />
I used to say,<br><br />
as though just having a name<br><br />
was good, though it wasn't<br><br />
a name I would choose for myself<br />
<br />
now, I know better,<br><br />
or so I could hope;<br><br />
feel the flutter— my chest<br><br />
filled with butterflies,<br><br />
their wings never reaching<br><br />
my stomach<br><br />
(they don't look down,<br><br />
but I do; I do<br><br />
whatever it takes<br><br />
to reach up,<br><br />
to pray):<br />
<br />
call me something, anything,<br><br />
but only the names<br><br />
I choose<br />
<br />
==== [[lamp on the wood (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/lamp-on-the-wood-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
bright lamp on the wood beside my window<br><br />
keeping watch with steady eye and yellow<br><br />
warmth throughout my room steadies my heart<br><br />
it's almost time to sleep in cozy dark<br />
<br />
=== 1/8/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poem<br />
* 16 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[beams over me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the days pass<br><br />
light on the walls<br><br />
beams over me<br><br />
and I lie beneath<br><br />
like it's only a dream<br><br />
yet, here, do the math<br><br />
stepping through days<br><br />
'til it all comes to pass<br />
<br />
==== [[goodnight, dear world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
goodnight, dear world; I'll see you soon<br><br />
I pray that I don't sleep past noon<br><br />
but wake before the morning light<br><br />
so I can do and make things right<br />
<br />
==== [[lasso the sun (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A. A.''<br />
<br />
standing on tiptoes, touching the sky<br><br />
never let dreams go passing you by<br><br />
but catch down the clouds and lasso the sun<br><br />
when it pulls ahead, hold on and just run<br />
<br />
=== 1/9/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 29 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[In My Bones (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Sometimes, I'm tired enough to feel it in my bones<br><br />
The effort, pain, and toil just to sit down on these thrones<br><br />
I am the queen of something—my mind, my heart, my deeds<br><br />
Until I cede and abdicate to He who claims my creed<br><br />
And may this meet my needs<br />
<br />
==== [[I wait (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/i-wait-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
cold, I wait:<br><br />
the aches and pains<br><br />
cannot break<br><br />
my spirit nor tame<br><br />
my soul that needs<br><br />
to breathe, be free<br><br />
I hope, I see<br><br />
new light in me<br />
<br />
==== [[we're chosen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we're golden<br><br />
we're chosen<br><br />
we've been here all this time<br><br />
we're purple<br><br />
we're royal<br><br />
we're going to be just fine<br><br />
a promise<br><br />
before us<br><br />
to walk, our hand in Christ's<br><br />
ahead now<br><br />
we're led out<br><br />
of darkness into light<br />
<br />
==== [[the little birdies (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/the-little-birdies-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
the little birdies<br><br />
cheep! cheep! cheep!<br><br />
wonder if<br><br />
their thoughts are deep<br />
<br />
=== 1/10/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 2 poem<br />
* 7 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[adorable (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my sister is adorable<br><br />
and that's the honest truth<br><br />
exuberant and wonderful<br><br />
with all the joy of youth<br />
<br />
==== [[Change (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Today, I don't like change<br><br />
Today, it doesn't matter;<br><br />
I will change<br />
<br />
=== 1/11/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poems<br />
* 16 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[thinking of you (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
love bloomed in my heart today<br><br />
put out shoots and petals and swayed<br><br />
lovely colors in breezy winds<br><br />
I think of you, time and again<br />
<br />
==== [[God Save (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
God save my soul<br><br />
For all the ages know<br><br />
I cannot save myself<br><br />
I turn to Someone else<br />
<br />
==== [[but only me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if I hurt and scream and ache and bleed<br><br />
who cares but only me?<br><br />
if in my veins, I feel the need<br><br />
who feels that need but me?<br><br />
and should my pain outgrow the cage<br><br />
of flesh and mind of me<br><br />
then why do I feel all is vain<br><br />
and no one cares but me?<br />
<br />
=== 1/12/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 1 poem<br />
* 8 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Cheer (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I love the morning sunshine<br><br />
It feels like morning cheer<br><br />
Like happiness and comfort<br><br />
Are always drawing near<br />
<br />
I love the glow of daybreak<br><br />
The warmth of radiant sun<br><br />
I feel it in my heartbeat<br><br />
A joy for everyone<br />
<br />
=== 1/13/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 2 poems<br />
* 20 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[New Week (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
New day, new week<br><br />
New hope I seek<br><br />
New joy to be<br><br />
At work, you see<br><br />
And light ahead<br><br />
Is all I said<br><br />
I need but true<br><br />
I also need You<br />
<br />
==== [[you wait for me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A and LO''<br />
<br />
a reaching hand<br><br />
an open heart<br><br />
my eyes too wide<br><br />
to take it in<br><br />
you call to me<br><br />
I turn from you<br><br />
I can't believe<br><br />
this love is true<br><br />
you wait for me<br><br />
too patiently<br><br />
until that love<br><br />
is all I see<br />
<br />
=== 1/14/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 19 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[A Prayer for a Tuesday (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A prayer for a Tuesday, a hope for good things!<br><br />
Rise in my heart and give that hope wings<br><br />
Prayers without words for something to give<br><br />
For better than survival; I just want to live<br><br />
To do all You want and all that I must<br><br />
I give this to You and I let go in trust<br />
<br />
==== [[(haiku for river)]] ====<br />
<br />
Look! water running—<br><br />
River demure, unlike itself,<br><br />
That roars and tumbles<br />
<br />
==== [[I haven't forgotten (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For G.B.''<br />
<br />
cold frosts the windows<br><br />
I haven't forgotten you<br><br />
you feel forgotten, lost in the cold—<br><br />
I'm sorry<br><br />
I love you still,<br><br />
though I cannot be where you are<br />
<br />
==== [[Love Through Me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is a new day<br><br />
Please make it a good one<br><br />
With hope I will now pray<br><br />
Love through me, God's Son<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 12 poems<br />
* 63 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[grace (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my heart receives grace<br><br />
I cannot deserve<br><br />
my God deserves praise—<br><br />
my family, my Love<br><br />
His mercy is mine<br><br />
I've felt His good grace<br><br />
I fall at His feet<br><br />
giving thanks to His name<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers, Series III, #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I pray for Holy Love to purge my soul<br><br />
of anything unclean and heal me all<br><br />
of every wound I bear and every scar<br><br />
until I can be holy like You are<br />
<br />
==== [[hold my hand (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
another new morning— again<br><br />
I call out and cry to my Friend<br><br />
Lord Jesus, please take, hold my hand<br><br />
and never let go 'til the end<br />
<br />
==== [[let me be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not another person<br><br />
what works for them might not for me<br><br />
all I ask: the same respect<br><br />
to let it go and let me be<br />
<br />
==== [[to the bright, bright sun (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up to the bright, bright sun<br><br />
white in my eyes and heat on my skin<br><br />
I wait in the light and linger a while<br><br />
that every last drop my heart can drink in<br />
<br />
==== [[screen of death (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
blue screen, grey screen, white screen—<br><br />
getting familiar with all these<br><br />
if only my web<br><br />
would work on its kreb<br><br />
to show me a page and not freeze<br />
<br />
==== [[coping mechanism (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For A and LO''<br />
<br />
teach me how to cope with this<br><br />
no one did before<br><br />
no matter how I flailed my hands<br><br />
or begged for something more<br><br />
the love that was denied me once<br><br />
was not requested now<br><br />
so since it has arrived, I need<br><br />
for you to teach me how<br />
<br />
==== [[the blossoms (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
petals full, soft and gentle<br><br />
the pink blossoms decorate a tender breeze<br><br />
I reach out my hand and sigh<br><br />
filled with the beauty I see<br />
<br />
==== [[the tracks of my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
follow the tracks of my heart<br><br />
made through the heartlands of snow<br><br />
did you know heartland was cold?<br><br />
winds sharp like the mountains of childhood<br><br />
howling at night 'round the house<br><br />
there! I left footprints; you see me<br><br />
will you come find, take my hand?<br />
<br />
==== [[bruises (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
bruises yellow my heart organ<br><br />
it beats in my chest with an ache<br><br />
I make with my fingers and cry without tears<br><br />
waiting to see what you'll say<br />
<br />
==== [[sweet things (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For M''<br />
<br />
sweet things<br><br />
milk tea<br><br />
a kitten's mew<br><br />
and soft paws<br><br />
sweet air<br><br />
a soft breeze—<br><br />
we like<br><br />
sweet things<br />
<br />
==== [[the world I remember (prose poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
bold beauty dazzles the eyes, the golden hills that sweep away, their grassy carpet dotted with color—a bush, a flower, a tree<br />
<br />
this is the world I remember from childhood—mountains that climbed to the heights of the sky, the crying of winds in a sound like my soul, the sound fo the stars, the crickets at night<br />
<br />
overcast night, the darkness lit well, for my eyes to read books and my wonder to swell, where the daydreams seem real in the silence of sleep... and we dream, yes, my friend, then we dream<br />
<br />
=== 1/16/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 27 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[hello, world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hello, world!<br><br />
good morning to you<br><br />
I now am awake<br><br />
so what should I do?<br><br />
I open my eyes<br><br />
and reach for the light<br><br />
to stars and my dreams<br><br />
I salute you! goodnight!<br />
<br />
==== [[where we've been (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
love is where we've been<br><br />
I want to be<br><br />
there, your hand in mine—<br><br />
be there again<br />
<br />
==== [[soft words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
soft words<br><br />
grown from fertile soil<br><br />
imagination bright<br><br />
with moving pictures<br><br />
feeling their way to life<br />
<br />
==== [[to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not supposed to want things<br><br />
or like things<br><br />
or be things<br><br />
I'm not supposed to need things<br><br />
to feel things<br><br />
to disagree<br />
<br />
but I've the right to be a person<br><br />
I've the right to speak<br><br />
I've the right to breathe aloud<br><br />
I've the right to be<br />
<br />
=== 1/18/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 6 poem<br />
* 31 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[should have been (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
another cold, bright morning<br><br />
I'm waking into light<br><br />
and suddenly remembering<br><br />
what should've been done last night<br><br />
I breathe, the world comes in<br><br />
I pray the Lord again<br><br />
to save me and my skin<br><br />
and all I should have been<br />
<br />
==== [[(american haiku for sisters)]] ====<br />
<br />
sisters fight sometimes<br><br />
and still we cherish, protect<br><br />
each other from pain<br />
<br />
==== [[free from (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
comes a day<br><br />
when I'll be free<br><br />
from pain, from fear<br><br />
from everything<br><br />
that keeps me, Lord<br><br />
from Thee<br />
<br />
==== [[in Your presence (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''Psalm 16:11''<br />
<br />
joy takes root in my soul<br><br />
when You come over me and You stay<br><br />
at home in my heart for a while<br><br />
I pray that You never let go<br />
<br />
==== [[With Love (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
For Christ is the King and the Lamb and the Son<br><br />
He rises with healing, sends grace like a dove<br><br />
He pours out His mercy and pays with His blood<br><br />
For He holds me to Him and claims me with love<br />
<br />
==== [[Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Days pass by<br><br />
Like beads on a string<br><br />
Each pearl of price<br><br />
A gift I may bring<br><br />
To my Father with love<br><br />
Should I live for my King<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (7) ====<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 1 poem<br />
* 4 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[to breathe (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/01/to-breathe-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
let me breathe, I need to breathe<br><br />
see the waters boil and seethe<br><br />
and my heart volcanically heaves<br><br />
whenever you say that you will leave<br><br />
<br />
=== 1/20/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 32 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[Joy Comes (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''Psalm 30:5''<br />
<br />
Joy comes in the morning<br><br />
When I open my eyes to You<br><br />
The Sun of heavenly glory<br><br />
Who loves me through and through<br><br />
Who bought me as a treasure<br><br />
Who saves me and my life<br><br />
Beyond what I could measure<br><br />
I pray, fill me with Christ<br />
<br />
==== [[The Father Hears (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A child prays, the Father hears<br><br />
And always stays close and near<br><br />
I nestle in to perfect love<br><br />
And keep my gaze fixed on above<br />
<br />
==== [[teach my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
why am I made welcome<br><br />
when I'm in filthy rags?<br><br />
why am I beloved<br><br />
when I fell down again?<br />
<br />
I pray You never leave me<br><br />
and never let me go<br><br />
teach my heart to love You<br><br />
more than anything I know<br />
<br />
==== [[seed of light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
we are golden<br><br />
bright promises<br><br />
I promise in your soul<br><br />
the seed of<br><br />
potential<br><br />
is buried and may grow<br><br />
within us<br><br />
the greatest<br><br />
of things we'll ever know<br><br />
like a candle<br><br />
is burning<br><br />
and soon may light us all<br />
<br />
=== 1/25/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 1 poem<br />
* 4 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[late (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
a moment late<br><br />
don't hesitate<br><br />
nor stand and wait:<br><br />
get through the gate!<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 6 poems<br />
* 55 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[talk to me, my love (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
talk to me, my love<br><br />
let your murmur linger in my ear<br><br />
so my heart can hold you near<br><br />
no matter how the miles between<br><br />
I hear your voice and all it means<br><br />
settles in and meets my need<br />
<br />
==== [[turtle (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
am I a terrible person<br><br />
for locking myself away?<br><br />
I'm supposed to be with you<br><br />
at some point today<br><br />
I feel l'm never enough<br><br />
even if you won't say<br><br />
I could be more loving<br><br />
and surely I could stay<br />
<br />
==== [[Most Faithful (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good afternoon! It's evening soon:<br><br />
Did I accomplish all I wish?<br><br />
I know it's true, so much to do—<br><br />
The lists we know are never through...<br><br />
And yet my heart cannot depart<br><br />
From knowing love must be enough<br><br />
To hold to me most faithfully,<br><br />
Though I'm not what I should be.<br />
<br />
==== [[do you love me? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For M''<br />
<br />
love<br><br />
do you love me?<br><br />
I wander too long on this question—<br><br />
back and forth<br><br />
like a sidewinding road<br><br />
"We take the scenic route"<br><br />
I remember your laugh<br><br />
how it tickled my insides<br><br />
with delight in the joy of your presence<br><br />
is this the way it's supposed to be?<br><br />
when I lie here awake<br><br />
and the night feels less warm than it did<br><br />
I wonder sometimes if it all<br><br />
was the product of imaginations<br><br />
of course not<br><br />
of course it was not<br><br />
it'd just be easier if it were<br />
<br />
==== [[like red (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For C and D''<br />
<br />
a crimson tide— your bloodstained hands<br><br />
a glass of wine, to taste your mouth<br><br />
I wonder at the shades of red<br><br />
the flaming hair upon your head<br><br />
the faintest smile, stained like you<br><br />
with all the darkness that you do—<br><br />
it is not black inside like me<br><br />
but red like blood, like blood should be<br />
<br />
==== [[grit my teeth (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
watch me be stubborn<br><br />
I know how to do that<br><br />
watch me hold on<br><br />
with nails, gritted teeth<br><br />
the end of the world<br><br />
is not here, not yet<br><br />
so I'll carry on<br><br />
as I must, until dawn<br />
<br />
=== 1/28/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (3) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my heart contains multitudes<br><br />
good and bad and true<br><br />
if I long for purity<br><br />
then what's a girl to do?<br><br />
I take these crowds within me<br><br />
and give them all to You<br />
<br />
=== 1/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[again (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am quiet again<br><br />
today<br><br />
the house is still<br><br />
I fell down again<br><br />
this happens too often<br><br />
wondering when<br><br />
like everyone else<br><br />
I'll walk<br />
<br />
=== 1/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (3) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[to everything there is a season (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
snow upon my soul<br><br />
to make me clean<br><br />
new life to spring and grow<br><br />
a carpet green<br><br />
that I might bear much fruit<br><br />
within the Vine<br><br />
and all the dead leaves fall<br><br />
'til glory's mine<br />
<br />
== February 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poem<br />
* 14 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[New Week (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
New days ahead, new week, new bread<br><br />
To fill me up and brand new cup<br><br />
I drink it down, the days that pass<br><br />
Like sands that slip through hourglass<br />
<br />
==== [[Sometimes I Wonder (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
The truth is, sometimes I wonder<br><br />
Why anyone loves this wayward heart<br><br />
The fact that I seem a blunt hammer<br><br />
Even when I'm trying to love<br><br />
I fall upon the mercy of<br><br />
My God and hope I'll be enough<br />
<br />
==== [[the new day (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
new morning catch me by surprise<br><br />
just as I open up my eyes<br><br />
and feel the new day flood my limbs<br><br />
and so I rise up once again<br />
<br />
=== 2/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 4 poems<br />
* 36 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[a step of faith (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning is a step of faith<br><br />
A carried hope within my breast<br><br />
That every song the songbird trills<br><br />
Really sees some future joy<br />
<br />
==== [[Time Understands (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I don't tend to look backwards—<br><br />
Well, I do—but not the way you think<br><br />
I don't look at the old things,<br><br />
The days past, because nothing lasts<br><br />
That we can clutch within these hands<br><br />
Time knows and understands<br><br />
That nothing real has happened yet<br><br />
Nor is it real what shall become<br><br />
The only thing that I can have<br><br />
Is this new moment—just this one<br />
<br />
==== [[postage stamp (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my life does not fit on a postage stamp<br><br />
my heart can't be contained within these lines<br><br />
I feel you look at me—it's cold and damp<br><br />
that's just when winter happens in these times<br><br />
I feel the heat of spring; my heart unthaws<br><br />
and tentatively I shoot out my leaves<br><br />
wondering if I'll be snapped in jaws<br><br />
or find myself pressed down between the leaves<br><br />
another book is writ: I'll take the pen<br><br />
it was never if but only when<br><br />
I'll know the warmth of summer, come what may<br><br />
it is the truth that I have some to say<br><br />
and let the ice fall from me, broken shards<br><br />
off this heart of flesh, once cold and hard<br />
<br />
==== [[poems for the ages (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
these are not poems for the ages<br><br />
they're to break and empty cages<br><br />
that try to shroud my heart<br><br />
I've known them from the start<br><br />
surely there are words to answer<br><br />
and powers and mercy that conquer<br><br />
break every chain with freedom<br><br />
come out, by grace, and run<br />
<br />
=== 2/24/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Hope (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning again, O brand new world—<br><br />
A brand new day made just for us.<br><br />
I feel it in my bones, the world<br><br />
Waiting for me, new, untouched.<br><br />
Is it wrong for me to hope<br><br />
And pray and dream and mostly hope<br><br />
That this new day would so unfold<br><br />
That I'll look back, pleased, tomorrow?<br />
<br />
==== [[To Success (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm a little behind on some things<br><br />
That shouldn't ever stop me<br><br />
From carrying onward, forward<br><br />
And rising ever upward<br />
<br />
==== [[To Pray (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For G''<br />
<br />
I hope you have a lovely day<br><br />
I miss you and I pause to pray<br><br />
That God will hold you in His heart<br><br />
And comfort you throughout your way<br />
<br />
==== [[For Family (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Thank You, Lord, for family<br><br />
A great gift that You've given me<br><br />
Those who also walk with You<br><br />
And somehow always love me too<br />
<br />
==== [[Hold Fast (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For B and G''<br />
<br />
These are the days burning bright in us<br><br />
Can we hold on through all too much<br><br />
Hold fast to all the promises?<br><br />
I'll walk with you and this we'll do<br />
<br />
=== 2/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
* 3 poems<br />
* 16 lines<br />
<br />
==== [[with love (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
with love He has drawn me<br><br />
near to His heart<br><br />
with mercy poured out<br><br />
His light in my dark<br><br />
changed all my visions<br><br />
my hopes and my dreams<br><br />
even transformed<br><br />
my reality<br />
<br />
==== [[drastic measures (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
drastic measures<br><br />
come to me<br><br />
my eucalyptus<br><br />
and I breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[in precious moments (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
joy in precious moments<br><br />
between the longer days<br><br />
love and sharing memories<br><br />
with you—so warm today<br />
<br />
== March 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (1) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[so much (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
How can my heart hurt?<br><br />
—so much, so much<br><br />
How does my heart cry?<br><br />
—so much, so much<br><br />
I don't deserve to<br><br />
cry all these tears<br><br />
How do I live now?<br><br />
—so much, so much<br />
<br />
== April 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[A Winter Day (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N''<br />
<br />
A winter day–<br><br />
how my heart hurts:<br><br />
I think and pray,<br><br />
remember love–<br><br />
remember days<br><br />
I heard your voice,<br><br />
felt warm embrace<br><br />
around me close,<br><br />
and then I say,<br><br />
I give You thanks<br><br />
for every moment<br><br />
she was mine.<br />
<br />
==== [[catch me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N and for F and Y''<br />
<br />
catch me when I'm waking<br><br />
up from an endless dream<br><br />
and hold me when I falling<br><br />
into an endless scream<br><br />
for all my days are empty<br><br />
when they are void of you<br><br />
and there is no one else<br><br />
and nothing else to do<br />
<br />
==== [[a broken record (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I feel like a broken record<br />
:: some days<br><br />
broken in so many ways,<br><br />
like the sunlight breaking through my<br><br />
walls was just a joke I made,<br><br />
I played–<br><br />
do you understand the roles we play?<br><br />
in this game we call<br><br />
a thing I won't invoke<br><br />
I feel it down in my bones<br><br />
and I'm asking you to know<br><br />
the person I am<br />
:: who I could be<br><br />
before I enter eternity<br />
<br />
=== 4/10/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[heart unawares (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so mark me down as one who cares<br><br />
you catch my heart down, unawares<br><br />
where all can see how open and<br><br />
feel what they don't understand<br />
<br />
== June 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 6/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[in a temple (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
my heart lives in a temple<br><br />
the ceilings tall and white<br><br />
arcing over above me<br><br />
glowing in sunlight<br />
<br />
my soul rests on an altar<br><br />
within the fires bright<br><br />
here the warmth will hold me<br><br />
ever in the light<br />
<br />
==== [[so often (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
once upon a time, I wrote so easily and so often<br><br />
the words danced on my tongue and spilt in ink— I hear the bells<br><br />
chiming out the songs and melodies within my heartspace<br><br />
and filling all my mind with all that was and what can be<br />
<br />
==== [[loud and clear (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For F and Y''<br />
<br />
I hear you<br><br />
loud and clear<br><br />
you claim you do not<br><br />
want me near<br><br />
and yet you linger<br><br />
so close to me<br><br />
as if demanding<br><br />
that my eyes see<br />
<br />
==== [[For One Thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Today, I hope for one thing<br><br />
To catch up to myself in flight<br><br />
Where my wings went out ahead of me<br><br />
To carry me into the light<br />
<br />
==== [[in order (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I don't write in order<br><br />
but I don't care<br><br />
I do not do it right<br><br />
not unaware<br><br />
but watch me weave my words<br><br />
and mark it well<br><br />
when one day you fall under<br><br />
my own spell<br />
<br />
=== 6/8/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[see notebook (4)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have cried so many tears<br><br />
It's time to put away my fears<br><br />
And look ahead to coming years<br><br />
With hope in Christ, so I draw near<br />
<br />
== July 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 7/25/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[in the end (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1002/in-the-end-poem/ SMP]<br />
<br />
I am not broken<br><br />
I wrote some years ago<br><br />
that is not how I feel today<br><br />
trust not feelings<br><br />
many say<br><br />
and I'm still one of those<br />
<br />
I trust in the Hand<br><br />
that carried me down<br><br />
two sets of stairs alive<br><br />
safe in a bubble<br><br />
as head over heels<br><br />
I tumbled and crashed—I tried<br><br />
to know this feeling<br><br />
deeper than bones<br><br />
through the slow-eroding flood<br><br />
to know in my heart<br><br />
to write in my blood<br><br />
that I shall emerge in the end<br />
<br />
=== 7/28/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (5) ====<br />
<br />
==== [[tonight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am quiet tonight<br><br />
I say again<br><br />
as if I were not quiet<br><br />
every other night<br><br />
and as if the stars don't twinkle<br><br />
up in the deep blue sky<br><br />
more quiet than my softest<br><br />
deepest sigh<br />
<br />
== August 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 8/9/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[in quietness (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/in-quietness-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
in quietness I wait<br><br />
and here I stay<br><br />
where hope and light have burned<br><br />
seems for always<br><br />
they guide me through the<br><br />
darkness and the deep<br><br />
and keep me when I wander<br><br />
through my sleep<br />
<br />
=== 8/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[seems not intuition (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/9a72274ed2a8420eaf99aed49c24711b Maker], 8 lines<br />
<br />
=== 8/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[He Calls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1006/he-calls-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
the quiet lingers<br><br />
in my bones<br><br />
I hear the voice<br><br />
my soul still knows<br><br />
He calls, He calls<br><br />
with love to me<br><br />
and to His home<br><br />
my heart will flee<br />
<br />
==== [[heartsore (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1012/heartsore-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
bruised and broken, heartsore, torn<br><br />
though I cry as if newborn<br><br />
and though my skin is new and red<br><br />
as though with blood, I'm bound to tread<br />
<br />
yet and still, my God believes<br><br />
in who I am if I receive<br><br />
the plan He once laid out for me<br><br />
I reach to Him and He to me<br />
<br />
==== [[a little songbird (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1015/a-little-songbird-poem/ SMP], 12 lines<br />
<br />
there's a little songbird in my heart<br><br />
you hear that clear, sweet melody? so far<br><br />
beyond the urge within me to lie down<br><br />
ashamed enough that I would go to ground<br />
<br />
I hear the echo clearly in my soul<br><br />
of Light shining so brightly, as if I know<br><br />
a secret I have only just forgot<br><br />
the One who saw my fully and who bought<br />
<br />
my life with Love so perfect, for His love<br><br />
laid down His own and bought me with His blood<br><br />
this the source of that small, perfect song<br><br />
I listen to the songbird and go on<br />
<br />
==== [[candles (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1017/candles-poem/ SMP], 4 lines<br />
<br />
we wait, like little children<br><br />
candles in the night<br><br />
shining for our Father<br><br />
that others see His light<br />
<br />
==== [[the golden sea (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/the-golden-sea-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
the golden sea within your eyes<br><br />
an innocence devoid of lies<br><br />
a perfect love I've never seen<br><br />
how could I not love all you've been?<br />
<br />
==== [[let this be known (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/let-this-be-known-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
fire and light within my soul<br><br />
stand by your side, let this be known<br><br />
for any who would mean you harm<br><br />
shall face me first, this I have sworn<br />
<br />
==== [[a kind of lightning (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/08/a-kind-of-lightning-poem/ NB], 24 lines<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
there's a kind of lightning in the tongue<br><br />
fired up when hea'en and earth were young<br><br />
a light that shines but only in a heart<br><br />
a passion that can pierce the fiercest dark<br />
<br />
there's a kind of love that beats anew<br><br />
with every pain and trial we've been through<br><br />
a desperate loyalty that knows no cure<br><br />
and never wants but for it to endure<br />
<br />
there's an open question in your eyes<br><br />
a broken invitation we realize<br><br />
burnt into the pattern of our lives<br><br />
we clasp our hands together in the light<br />
<br />
there's a bond that's older than the earth<br><br />
a blood far deeper than the blood of birth<br><br />
a covenant between your heart and mine<br><br />
there is no line between us and that's fine<br />
<br />
there is an end of battle on the field<br><br />
an enemy we promised to make yield<br><br />
a victory that's sweeter for the sharing<br><br />
we never learned a song where we weren't caring<br />
<br />
for there's a friend that's closer than a brother<br><br />
and family that's dearer than our mother<br><br />
and that which can't be broken in our lives<br><br />
nor in worlds beyond still in our eyes<br />
<br />
== September 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 9/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the one (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
I see you in the stars above<br><br />
bright shining in the dark I loved<br><br />
before my eyes could see the sun<br><br />
because of you: you are the one<br />
<br />
==== [[crystal (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
moments broken and shattered like crystal vases<br><br />
fallen from their heights, spilled out of cages<br><br />
cherished songbirds locked between the bars<br><br />
free at last, the price of endless wars<br><br />
if my heart could capture in these phantom<br><br />
images refracted, glowing bright<br><br />
all the moments crystalline and perfect<br><br />
that carried me through battlefields at night<br><br />
then maybe I would hold too close to vases<br><br />
full of glitt'ring memories like flowers<br><br />
and maybe images would be my master<br><br />
instead of lending me their inward powers<br><br />
and so I stretch my fingers out—a songbird<br><br />
spreads her wings and flies away at last<br><br />
I spread my arms, my eyes upon the sunset<br><br />
and walk away from all the roads I passed<br />
<br />
=== 9/5/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[like the sun come down (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For L and D''<br />
<br />
you look at me<br><br />
I stretch out my legs, to look at you slowly<br><br />
is to burn like the sun come down<br><br />
out of its heavens and perch on my sill<br><br />
you're there at the window<br><br />
jabbering like the dark jays, flirting their wings<br><br />
and jawing their little beaks<br><br />
full up of things to say and also<br><br />
of too many things to eat<br><br />
I feel a hunger inside me<br><br />
to taste all the words in your mouth<br><br />
and the smile flashing like sunlight<br><br />
over your face, strike me like beams<br><br />
golden and bright and a little too warm<br><br />
I look at you<br><br />
the same way you look at me<br><br />
when you think I'm not looking<br><br />
for friendship blossomed between us<br><br />
too long ago to turn back now<br><br />
too far ago and too rooted<br><br />
to burn it all down and start over<br><br />
but every evening the sun goes down<br><br />
and every morning the sun rises up<br><br />
I think to myself if I push under horizon<br><br />
that maybe the morning will come<br />
<br />
=== 9/7/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[strange days (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I have strange days—<br />
:: that's what they feel like<br />
:: burning under pain and a tingling, ravaged feeling in my chest<br><br />
this is not the end of the road<br><br />
and wouldn't it be nice to know when that will come?<br><br />
but I promised my sister, my very best friend<br><br />
that so long as she's on the road<br><br />
I'll be there too<br><br />
I feel it on these days when wings almost wake inside me<br><br />
beating within my breast like a captured song<br><br />
begging to be released<br><br />
when I feel the heat<br><br />
burning up under my skin and I cry<br><br />
with the cries of a thousand birds within the cage<br><br />
of my body, my tongue, my life<br><br />
this is the day I look to the heavens and pray<br><br />
for wings that break through cocoons and shatter the wind between them<br><br />
send life through my veins, and stiffen me up<br><br />
so I can take the skies<br />
<br />
=== 9/9/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[smoke and ash and dust (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have burned to pieces<br><br />
been broken and distraught<br><br />
felt cities walls come crashing<br><br />
where my heart has bled and fought<br><br />
until the sands were stained<br><br />
with evidence of tears<br><br />
and the night was covered<br><br />
with the leavings of the years<br><br />
smoke and ash and dust<br><br />
cascading through the air<br><br />
I have learned to trust<br><br />
for you still found me there<br />
<br />
=== 9/29/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[what I can take (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
do not bruise me<br><br />
do not make me ache<br><br />
please<br><br />
there's only so much that I can take<br><br />
the shivering leaves<br><br />
in bristling winds<br><br />
the breezes blow<br><br />
my breath begins<br><br />
I feel it there<br><br />
the steady pounding<br><br />
thrumming, drowning out my thoughts<br><br />
in time with you<br><br />
your tongue<br />
<br />
=== 9/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[don’t always (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[https://scribblemyname.tumblr.com/post/630741924075175937/dont-always-poem tumblr]<br />
<br />
I don't always talk a lot<br><br />
sometimes I talk too much<br><br />
I never say the things<br><br />
festering inside my heart<br><br />
the color of rain that breathes<br><br />
out my sorrow and fear<br><br />
the sweetness of every moment<br><br />
I forget that you're not here<br />
<br />
== October 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 10/6/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== see notebook ====<br />
<br />
=== 10/11/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lost (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm lost<br><br />
And the trees have withered<br><br />
Paid the full cost<br><br />
To carry me hither<br><br />
I wanted to know<br><br />
More than I contain<br><br />
Full to the brim<br><br />
What I cannot explain<br />
<br />
=== 10/13/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[I have words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I have feelings<br><br />
I have words<br><br />
where do I put them?<br><br />
why aren't they heard?<br><br />
they look at me<br><br />
disappointed eyes<br><br />
I turn away<br><br />
and look at the sky<br />
<br />
=== 10/20/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[illusion (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/10/illusion-poem/ NB] [Tumblr], 4 lines<br />
<br />
''for F and Y''<br />
<br />
There's a moment, beautiful and new<br><br />
Where I open my eyes and see you<br><br />
I reach out my hands, as if I could touch<br><br />
Dispel the illusion–I miss you so much<br />
<br />
=== 10/21/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[The Day I Wake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Today is the day that I wake<br><br />
Feel the decisions I'll make<br><br />
The day that's before me can quake<br><br />
The heart that's within me won't shake<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayer # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
God of our Fathers, I pray You this day<br><br />
To open the eyes of Your children who pray<br><br />
And open the ears of all who may say<br><br />
Thy will be done– Lord God, have Your way!<br />
<br />
==== [[see the tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is a new day, a new morning,<br><br />
breaking upon me like dawn on the sea.<br><br />
See the tides washing over me–<br><br />
a sea of possibility<br><br />
lies open before me,<br><br />
a horizon of sun.<br />
<br />
== November 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 11/1/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[biting at my insides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I feel it<br><br />
biting at my insides<br><br />
like sunlight chewing on the underside<br><br />
of a dark horizon<br><br />
just before it consumes it all<br><br />
in light<br><br />
this is not a bad thing<br><br />
the itch to change<br><br />
to be someone I want to be<br><br />
someone I am not now<br><br />
but somehow someone<br><br />
I can become<br />
<br />
==== [[legendary (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''for K and B''<br />
<br />
this is the history of us<br><br />
we were legendary once<br><br />
for all the wrong reasons<br><br />
did they know you changed the world<br><br />
overwrote my history<br><br />
with futures beyond imagining<br><br />
if only "I" was "we"<br><br />
you went beyond the story<br><br />
a hero from my dreams<br><br />
I followed and I'll follow<br><br />
you're legend still to me<br />
<br />
=== 11/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[The Color of Silence (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What is the color of silence?<br><br />
Purple and dusky, I'm thinking<br><br />
Of you and all of our memories,<br><br />
Waiting outside in the grass,<br><br />
Cool water under my footsteps<br><br />
From sprinklers in the hot summer.<br><br />
I'm sure there was ambient music<br><br />
Of crickets that sang in the fields,<br><br />
But all I remember is silence:<br><br />
Purple toward the late evening,<br><br />
Blue as we passed into morning,<br><br />
Orange with the light of the dawn,<br><br />
And green in the yard where we played in<br><br />
The grass—our laughter a song.<br />
<br />
==== [[Turtle (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[Tumblr]<br />
<br />
There are things I need to do:<br><br />
I know it,<br><br />
So don't bother me about it.<br><br />
I'll get there when I get there,<br><br />
When my body<br><br />
Stops fighting me so hard and mostly winning,<br><br />
When I feel the rising urge in me toward victory.<br><br />
Patience, turtle—that's what wins the race.<br />
<br />
=== 11/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[my pen (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm not waiting the way you think I am<br><br />
I'm lying still, anticipating<br><br />
brightness breaking; I move my pen<br><br />
for this is where the light comes in<br />
<br />
=== 11/18/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Sense of Self (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
There are bruises on my sense of self<br><br />
In the shape of footprints where you have walked<br><br />
I do not blame you or anyone else<br><br />
I put salve on my wounds and refuse to back down<br />
<br />
=== 11/21/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[no peace (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/11/no-peace-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
There is no peace today<br><br />
No empty winds in which to pray<br><br />
No silence to allow a song<br><br />
No one to ask just what went wrong<br />
<br />
=== 11/24/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[a good start (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the light is beautiful each morning<br><br />
I wake to brand new brightness in my heart<br><br />
call upon the mercies of the Father<br><br />
this is what I call a good start<br />
<br />
==== [[not the end (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning to my heart again<br><br />
please remember, sensitive friend<br><br />
this is not at all the end<br><br />
carry on; I'll see you then<br />
<br />
=== 11/30/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[God Bless (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1029/god-bless-poem/ SMP], 12 lines<br />
<br />
God bless you, morning<br><br />
God bless you, day<br><br />
God bless each person<br><br />
On my way<br><br />
God bless those working<br><br />
And those at play<br><br />
God bless those crying<br><br />
With aught to say<br><br />
God bless those seeking<br><br />
With what they need<br><br />
And those in chains<br><br />
That they be freed<br />
<br />
==== [[for the light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1031/for-the-light-poem/ SMP], 4 lines<br />
<br />
I pray for the light<br><br />
with open hands<br><br />
and open mind<br><br />
to understand<br />
<br />
==== [[a bright light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1033/a-bright-light-poem/ SMP], 5 lines<br />
<br />
hope is a bright light<br><br />
beams traveling over my heart<br><br />
by hours<br><br />
to see it, to touch it, <em>believe</em> it<br><br />
my powers<br />
<br />
==== [[my heartbeat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2020/11/my-heartbeat-poem/ NB], 4 lines<br />
<br />
an ageless question I ask myself<br><br />
who am I if I'm without<br><br />
your matchless love alive in me<br><br />
as real, as needed as my heartbeat<br />
<br />
== December 2020 ==<br />
<br />
=== 12/1/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK (4) ====<br />
<br />
=== 12/2/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[The Rule (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am a blank book somedays<br><br />
Open up my pages; I will write<br><br />
Ink between the nonexistent lines<br><br />
You cannot see the rules I use to guide<br />
<br />
I feel it, as a writer does, the rules<br><br />
Are only there to serve me, not be served<br><br />
There is only one rule still reserved<br><br />
For use: whate'er you do, it has to work<br />
<br />
==== [[with words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
open days before me, writ in simple ink<br><br />
there are things I speak and do, and there are things I think<br><br />
we open hearts with promises, we open minds with words<br><br />
by hearing comes the faith that breathes with all our hearts have heard<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers for the New Year # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning again to the bright come morning, soon upon the horizon<br><br />
I wake, I open my eyes to see, as the new day is arriving<br><br />
Within my heart, a simple prayer is born and spreads its wings<br><br />
May God above within me live and fill up everything<br />
<br />
==== [[this scribbling thing (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a while, you see<br><br />
since we did this scribbling thing<br><br />
I take up my cup of tea<br><br />
and bruise the paper with ink<br><br />
I open my eyes to see<br><br />
the jet trails through my heart<br><br />
and dutifully scribble them down<br><br />
before the day can start<br />
<br />
==== [[I miss the days (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For N''<br />
<br />
I feel the pain of walking alone,<br><br />
where once there was love my heart had known,<br><br />
a listening ear, an open hand,<br><br />
one who would often understand–<br><br />
I miss the days when you were here<br><br />
and feel it when memory draws near:<br><br />
I push away the nascent pain,<br><br />
wake up, and do it all again<br />
<br />
==== [[Prayers for the New Year # (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Dear God, I pray for peace today<br><br />
For strength to walk within Your way<br><br />
For hope to guide my wayward heart<br><br />
To Your light through any dark<br />
<br />
==== [[We Rise (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
We rise, we shine– Pray, shine the light<br><br />
Over here where lingers night<br><br />
And open hearts ablaze with hope<br><br />
For all that God can do: we know<br><br />
That bright upon that ancient day<br><br />
When tyranny still held its sway<br><br />
When Christ's own servants turned to pray<br><br />
And took up arms to free and save<br><br />
Our God was with us! We were freed<br><br />
From the chains of tyranny<br><br />
Which bore down on our conscience and<br><br />
Refused to represent our land<br><br />
Patriots! Rise up and speak<br><br />
Do not let what made us free<br><br />
Fall to silence nor be lost<br><br />
No matter what shall be the cost<br><br />
Whether our names in infamy<br><br />
Are writ upon dark histories<br><br />
Whether we lose all fortune or name<br><br />
Now is the time to victory claim!<br />
<br />
==== [[A Poem for Thanksgiving (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Give thanks to the God of heaven for<br><br />
The love He pours out on us<br><br />
Give thanks to the God of mercy who<br><br />
For us went to the cross<br><br />
Give thanks for the love that brought us through<br><br />
With mercy through this year<br><br />
For all the ones whom our hearts love<br><br />
For all that we hold dear<br />
<br />
=== 12/3/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== SEE NOTEBOOK ====<br />
<br />
==== [[tears (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
tears<br><br />
I don't have time for tears<br><br />
or maybe fears<br><br />
stop up the way<br><br />
with stones<br><br />
lying in the path<br><br />
through my stomach, my heart<br><br />
I feel<br><br />
the brimming wave within<br><br />
the depthless tide<br><br />
the pouring rain<br><br />
tsunami high<br><br />
and yet don't cry<br />
<br />
<br />
=== 12/6/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[breaking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
moments breaking<br><br />
like tidal waves<br><br />
all the thoughts<br><br />
I didn't capture<br><br />
let them wash up<br><br />
on their way<br><br />
to distant shores<br><br />
I cry no more<br />
<br />
==== [[hereafter (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I live hereafter<br><br />
the storm, the rain<br><br />
the ruthless pain<br><br />
that stills my heart<br><br />
then beats again<br><br />
if I could start<br><br />
where all things did<br><br />
would I run where<br><br />
this road has led<br />
<br />
==== [[lit fuse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
burning in my chest<br><br />
the lit fuse glow of all my pain<br><br />
beating and thrumming, a livid dance<br><br />
I cry, release, and dance again<br />
<br />
==== [[balm be in Gilead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I feel the light bursting within me<br><br />
and pray for the cool of heavenly mercy<br><br />
let balm be in Gilead and salve on my heart<br><br />
heal me lest I be consumed in the dark<br />
<br />
==== [[swallow (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I break me down in pieces<br><br />
to be easier to swallow<br><br />
this is just preparing<br><br />
for a new and old tomorrow<br><br />
every day and every week<br><br />
I carry on; there's more to follow<br><br />
never can give up<br><br />
I'll not surrender for forever<br />
<br />
==== [[for sale (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
it's a word I use sometimes<br><br />
it used to mean the thing I wasn't<br><br />
but now I wonder<br><br />
though I shouldn't<br><br />
if ideas giving birth<br><br />
to reality when I buy them<br><br />
means to leave them on the shelf<br><br />
unless I want to try them<br><br />
and what I want right now<br><br />
is just not to be broken<br />
<br />
=== 12/15/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the spoken (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am feeling lost and a little broken<br><br />
had plans on my mind and now they're spoken<br><br />
that is when they start to feel too hard<br><br />
I hide away inside: we'll try tomorrow<br />
<br />
=== 12/27/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Upon a Time (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, I was a writer<br><br />
And once upon a time, I was a fighter<br><br />
Once upon a time, the world seemed brighter<br><br />
Now it doesn't seem it's getting lighter<br />
<br />
Break it into pieces, all the old things<br><br />
And raze it to the ground when I am crying<br><br />
Don't you know that in my heart I'm trying<br><br />
I promise some tomorrow I'll be flying<br />
<br />
Once upon a time, I felt it burning<br><br />
Words alight with promise, ever churning<br><br />
Now and then I feel the world turning<br><br />
Do you understand that I am yearning?<br />
<br />
We do not forget the times we lived through<br><br />
There is all and then some still to give you<br><br />
I have not poured out yet in the deep blue<br><br />
Every short and long stick that I drew<br />
<br />
See you on the morrow, that's a promise<br><br />
Words upon my tongue, no doubting Thomas<br><br />
I believe what I've not seen...</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4641Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-21T02:55:02Z<p>Lianamir: /* coin of the world (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything<br />
<br />
==== [[a nod (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am what I am<br><br />
that is, odd<br />
<br />
I like what I like<br><br />
that's a nod<br />
<br />
my bruises are all open<br><br />
up to God<br />
<br />
you are what you are<br><br />
I applaud</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4640Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-20T11:17:30Z<p>Lianamir: /* get up (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light<br />
<br />
=== 4/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Bright String of Pearls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Mornings are for waking up,<br><br />
Pulling together—<br><br />
Being strong<br />
<br />
Endure the days that come along<br><br />
(Bright and shining,<br><br />
A pearly string)<br />
<br />
Chained together... everything<br><br />
My eyes could see,<br><br />
My heart could be<br />
<br />
==== [[a chance (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
you never spoke my name so sweetly<br><br />
endless days in spiral dance<br><br />
around my heart, its painful beating<br><br />
waiting: please give me a chance<br />
<br />
==== [[coin of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the coin of the world spent<br><br />
on wasteful things<br><br />
the hope another coin<br><br />
arriving brings<br><br />
take the sun in hand<br><br />
don't mind the stings<br><br />
day after day, just one<br><br />
for anything</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4639Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-18T12:42:14Z<p>Lianamir: /* 4/12/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds<br />
<br />
=== 4/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[choring (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake<br><br />
I'd rather not be<br><br />
it's time to get up<br><br />
do what we must: we<br><br />
are walking in circles<br><br />
going 'round constantly<br><br />
all that's been done<br><br />
must be done again<br />
<br />
==== [[the things I say (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I like to say the things I say<br><br />
sometimes, but mostly don't<br><br />
my active tongue since I was young<br><br />
is just a thing I won't<br><br />
e'er be free of, if you know me<br><br />
it's something I have honed<br />
<br />
==== [[get up (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
time to get up! said the little bird<br><br />
wings all a flutter and bright<br><br />
time to get up! go away, I said<br><br />
but could not escape the light</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4638Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-13T03:05:51Z<p>Lianamir: /* 4/8/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes<br />
<br />
=== 4/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[something in the daylight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I breathe<br><br />
there's something in the daylight<br><br />
waiting for me<br><br />
singing bright<br><br />
like the sweet song<br><br />
of morning birds<br><br />
like gently floating<br><br />
cloud herds</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4637Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-08T11:09:37Z<p>Lianamir: /* April 2021 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/4/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Another Fine (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Another fine morning! How do you do?<br><br />
Hope you understand that I'm praying for you,<br><br />
Rooting you on, hope you make it through<br><br />
Another fine day, like you always do<br />
<br />
==== [[Droplets in a Cup (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Small things add up<br><br />
Droplets in a cup<br><br />
My cup may overflow<br><br />
With these moments that I know<br />
<br />
==== [[bring treasure (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm up! to the bell, I sing<br><br />
I hope the new day will bring<br><br />
Goodness, even treasure<br><br />
Like peace beyond all measure<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4636Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-04-08T10:51:20Z<p>Lianamir: /* 3/28/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me<br />
<br />
== April 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 4/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[brilliant with light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I am awake, alive, in the cold dark halls of myself<br><br />
I am brilliant with light, burning high up on a shelf<br><br />
I carry the candle back down into my heart, like or else<br><br />
has finally ended the night where I slept until you were felt<br />
<br />
==== [[in the quiet parts (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
wake me up in the quiet parts of the day<br><br />
when words well up within me, with more than I say<br><br />
when all is unfolding, in its own bright way<br><br />
when the weight of the world is beginning to weigh<br />
<br />
==== [[to find words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
keeping silence is my way of not needing to find words<br><br />
needle sharp in the dark, pinpricks of light that burn<br><br />
upon my open palms, leaving prints against the night<br><br />
cascading blooms of color, fading in my eyes</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4635Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-28T19:45:53Z<p>Lianamir: /* Devotionals, 3/22/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/28/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Meant to Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
What if I could teach you how to say these things?<br><br />
Give your feelings wings?<br><br />
Maybe feel relief?<br><br />
Promise you that there is nothing wrong with you<br><br />
When the things you do<br><br />
Are what you should do<br><br />
Promise you that you were meant to be<br><br />
The one I always see<br><br />
Looking back at me</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4634Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T11:02:46Z<p>Lianamir: /* Wrong (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when<br />
<br />
==== Devotionals, 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Every Morning: [https://maker.sermoncentral.com/build/f8f8f23591864381b978db79a9805004 Maker], 310 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4633Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T10:27:06Z<p>Lianamir: /* Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
==== [[reel with it (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I'm not feeling it<br><br />
don't really want to reel with it<br><br />
my very body's feeling it<br><br />
the weight of the new day<br />
<br />
I'm up but I'm not dealing yet<br><br />
the cards bound to my hands and then<br><br />
a clock sounds off, no healing it<br><br />
it's time to start this day<br />
<br />
==== [[someone tell me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
someone tell me there's a light at the end of this tunnel<br><br />
I swear, I'll believe you<br><br />
I just need to hear the words from another's mouth<br><br />
I just need to know that I might have some worth<br><br />
that maybe my existence is not a problem<br><br />
a problem to me or a problem to you<br />
<br />
==== [[Wrong (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Maybe we started off wrong,<br><br />
A discordant song—<br><br />
Forgive me please,<br><br />
I'm sure it won't take long<br><br />
Before we part our ways again and then<br><br />
You can forget I ever<br><br />
Was back when</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4632Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T10:19:07Z<p>Lianamir: /* Fanfic */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Reaction Shots, 3/21/21 ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
=== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4631Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T10:18:53Z<p>Lianamir: /* These Walls (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are<br />
<br />
=== Reaction Shots: 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Believe Me Now? (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30197748 AO3], 100 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4630Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T10:11:40Z<p>Lianamir: /* the sound of (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard<br />
<br />
==== [[These Walls (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Eventually, maybe you realize that I am a mess<br><br />
That all this pushing away is not just a test<br><br />
But walls I live behind to keep me safe<br><br />
Is not a way to decide who goes or stays<br><br />
You and I with laughter make like friends<br><br />
I hope these days of laughter never end<br><br />
But in between the hours, I hide my heart<br><br />
A turtle in her shell: the way things are</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4629Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T10:09:12Z<p>Lianamir: /* Lie Beside Me Still (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.<br />
<br />
==== [[off my chest (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
sometimes I've gotta get this poetry off my chest, so I can breathe<br><br />
only then can I capture another sense in relief<br><br />
only then can my eyes believe and properly heart receive<br><br />
a different taste and masquerade to bite between my teeth<br />
<br />
==== [[the sound of (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the sound of a pot of tea<br><br />
singing it is done<br><br />
I hear the quiet rush next door<br><br />
of a fan still left to run<br><br />
I hear the click, the clack of keys<br><br />
to words upon more words<br><br />
the ambience of a new morning<Br><br />
in all the things I've heard</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4628Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-22T10:05:53Z<p>Lianamir: /* Fanfic */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/22/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Lie Beside Me Still (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For GSD & ZSY''<br />
<br />
Take a moment. Stay with me. Be with me. Just breathe.<br><br />
Lie beside me still, while the song keeps playing.<br><br />
Don't pay attention to the words I'm saying.<br><br />
I dip my toes in the pool of you: the water isn't warm.<br><br />
I never met a body of water I couldn't swim in, if you'd just swim it too.<br><br />
You don't have to love me, for my heart will still survive,<br><br />
if only you just look at me and let me look at you.</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4627Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-21T22:11:44Z<p>Lianamir: /* between (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between<br />
<br />
==== Fanfic ====<br />
<br />
# Come to Me (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30186837 AO3], 100 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4626Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-21T12:48:46Z<p>Lianamir: /* 3/14/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/21/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[because I must (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm awake and I don't want to be<br><br />
I'm up because I have to be<br><br />
the day that stretches over me<br><br />
feels just too big to see<br />
<br />
I open heart because I must<br><br />
surrendering because I trust<br><br />
left regrets within the dust<br><br />
and walk this road I see<br />
<br />
==== [[instead (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
good morning, world and family<br><br />
and brand new day: I want to be<br><br />
tucked away in comfy bed<br><br />
but here I am, awake instead<br />
<br />
==== [[between (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hand me a map of the world<br><br />
between the geographical center<br><br />
of all the known lands where we must work<br><br />
and the edge of it all where "here be dreams"<br><br />
I find myself in between</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4625Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-15T11:02:44Z<p>Lianamir: /* To Do (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/to-do-poem/ NB], 12 lines<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4624Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-15T00:07:49Z<p>Lianamir: /* 3/12/21 */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]<br />
<br />
=== 3/14/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Tell It Like It Is (We Best Love): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/30048321 AO3], 300 words</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4623Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-14T17:32:49Z<p>Lianamir: /* 100 words of AWOL */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Where, O Where Could He Be? (Riftspace): [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/03/where-o-where-could-he-be/ NB]</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4622Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-13T01:27:37Z<p>Lianamir: /* Warm Up */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.<br />
<br />
=== 3/12/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== 100 words of AWOL ====<br />
<br />
# Riftspace ficlet: [https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/479994.html?thread=2881089274#cmt2881089274 FFA]</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4621Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-09T12:10:31Z<p>Lianamir: /* Okay (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up ====<br />
<br />
Hope was one of those things that woke her up in the morning, got her out of bed, and made light the troublesome load of dreams she had to shake off. She sipped on her tea, warmth settling through her limbs, as she shifted weight from one foot to the other in the kitchen, back and forth, an eternal dance.<br />
<br />
This was habit. She had a lot of those. Life could be run on habits.</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4620Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-09T12:06:02Z<p>Lianamir: /* heart beat (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me<br />
<br />
=== 3/9/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[To Do (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Things that I'm supposed to do:<br><br />
I drink a cup of tea<br><br />
Before I start the brand new day<br><br />
(This thing I do for me),<br><br />
I open up my eyes and heart<br><br />
To do the things for you,<br><br />
I put out fires one by one<br><br />
As we all must do.<br><br />
I hope your day is lovelier<br><br />
Than mine promised to be,<br><br />
Because, my dear, you are more dear<br><br />
Than I am here to me.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #002 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, world: I see the list<br><br />
Unwinding before my eyes already<br><br />
I feel a need to grasp God's hand,<br><br />
Lest things get unsteady<br><br />
And so I pray, good morning, God<br><br />
Please grant me a little peace<br><br />
And guide my steps within Your love<br><br />
Through every coming thing<br />
<br />
==== [[Okay (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
This is the thought that brightens my day:<br><br />
I know in my heart that I will be okay<br><br />
If God brought me through the rest of my past<br><br />
Then He's got my future, from now 'til the last</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4619Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-09T00:39:08Z<p>Lianamir: /* like an earthquake (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last<br />
<br />
==== [[heart beat (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
yes,<br><br />
tell me all about it<br><br />
the best<br><br />
moments don't stop beating<br><br />
your heart,<br><br />
my heart, they're keeping time now<br><br />
please<br><br />
keep dancing here with me</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4618Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-09T00:33:02Z<p>Lianamir: /* a wall (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe<br />
<br />
==== [[words (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
so many words<br><br />
I'm full of them really<br><br />
perhaps you'll forget me<br><br />
forget all the things<br><br />
I said and regret me<br><br />
I stand here in silence<br><br />
and silently mouth<br><br />
all the words still within me<br><br />
they never run out<br />
<br />
==== [[like an earthquake (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
it's been a drought and I've been quiet<br><br />
pandemonium broke up my thoughts<br><br />
like an earthquake shaking me<br><br />
shaking my world<br><br />
richter can't measure it<br><br />
the earth was in tatters<br><br />
tumbled and battered<br><br />
my heart and its matters<br><br />
a new mountain range<br><br />
this feeling so strange<br><br />
the magma within me<br><br />
poured out over forests<br><br />
poured out into oceans<br><br />
boiled the earth and<br><br />
I have been quiet<br><br />
the drought lingering gently<br><br />
like whispers on breezes<br><br />
and now here I am<br><br />
unshaken at last</div>Lianamirhttp://continuity.lianamir.com/index.php?title=Challenge:_Daily_Inventory_2021&diff=4617Challenge: Daily Inventory 20212021-03-09T00:27:52Z<p>Lianamir: /* a wall (poem) */</p>
<hr />
<div>[[Category:Challenge]][[Category:Poetry]][[Category:Warm Ups]]<br />
<br />
== January 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 1/5/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-001 ====<br />
<br />
He murmured sweet nothings against her temple. She just huffed and burrowed against him.<br />
<br />
"I'm cold." She was wearing a coat, but frankly, this hometown of his was coated in deep drifts of snow and much colder than winter at their own house.<br />
<br />
His arms came around her and held her close. For a few moments, neither of them said anything at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, "You're different here."<br />
<br />
He drew back, looking at her with a glint in his eye.<br />
<br />
Now that she thought about it, she remembered that glint. He'd been quieter than even now when she first met him, more liable to express his emotions with a fist or a harshly delivered but kind gesture.<br />
<br />
"It's not bad, you know," she added on further consideration, "to change."<br />
<br />
Noah blew out a sigh. "What makes you think I've changed?"<br />
<br />
She slugged his shoulder gently with one mittened fist. "Take the compliment."<br />
<br />
"Was it one?" But the amusement was back in his voice.<br />
<br />
She leaned up on her tiptoes against him and kissed him.<br />
<br />
=== 1/6/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[the tenor (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
there is silence in the quality of your demeanor<br><br />
and stillness in the tenor of your voice<br><br />
and grace in every movement and expression<br><br />
a calming peace to make the heart rejoice<br />
<br />
I take comfort in this reassurance<br><br />
I find relief within your warm embrace<br><br />
when your arms will hold me or your gaze<br><br />
shower on me that sweet and perfect grace<br />
<br />
==== [[God of impossible (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
hope comes up out of nowhere<br><br />
springing to life in my heart because<br><br />
my God is the God of impossible things<br><br />
no matter how dark before dawn<br />
<br />
==== [[where my heart (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
don't tell me where my heart lies<br><br />
or steal my voice for yours<br><br />
I will not lie down nor die<br><br />
but rise in prayer, stand forth<br />
<br />
==== Warm Up #21-002 ====<br />
<br />
The night was unseasonably warm, stars twinkling overhead in the canvas of darkness, moon scudded behind a cloud, its dim light barely enough to see by.<br />
<br />
Mayati picked her way across the encampment, caught with an undefinable restlessness.<br />
<br />
==== Blue and Gold, or Interlude 21-001 ====<br />
<br />
Fandom: Tower of God<br />
<br />
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/28822308 AO3] [http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/blue-and-gold/ NB], 184 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Golden moments strung together, sweet and glowing in the light of every good memory Khun had.<br />
<br />
He didn't usually let himself think of himself as a kid, but he knew that's how others saw him then—a seventeen-year-old member of the Khun family, sheltered in his own way from life outside of the Ten Families, experiencing the Tower for the first time.<br />
<br />
It was nothing. It was bloody and ruthless, weapons and sharp edges, strategies and broken rules. He'd lived that life from before he was ten, fought for survival and the right to call himself a Khun. He'd <em>earned</em> his name, and betraying his sister couldn't change that. Betrayal was in his blood.<br />
<br />
No. That wasn't the new, the fresh, the shocking. That was the warmth of brown eyes, a gentle trusting voice, a determined naive boy who'd looked at Khun and called him friend.<br />
<br />
Khun hugged Rachel, cold ice in his veins. She was blue and blood in his heart—the same ruthless life and death dance he was born to.<br />
<br />
Because she was the reason Bam's golden warmth was only memory.<br />
<br />
=== 1/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[hard to be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I'm alive<br><br />
sometimes that's a hard thing to be<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I'm a hard thing to see<br><br />
sometimes—<br><br />
I feel I hardly breathe<br><br />
the air in my lungs<br><br />
it's been getting kinda weak<br><br />
have you seen<br><br />
inside my brain this week?<br><br />
it's looking for the oxygen<br><br />
before the day they all cried when<br><br />
before the day the sun again<br><br />
went behind the clouds<br />
<br />
you figure it out.<br />
<br />
==== [[pour out (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
this is the life I live<br><br />
I've got something to give<br><br />
I open my soul, pour out<br><br />
will you catch me now?<br />
<br />
==== [[sunlight (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/sunlight-poem/ NB], 8 lines<br />
<br />
catching sunlight<br><br />
on my fingers<br><br />
in my mind<br><br />
the moment lingers<br><br />
light displayed<br><br />
and frayed and mingled<br><br />
over the canvas<br><br />
feel: it tingles<br />
<br />
=== 1/17/20 ===<br />
<br />
==== Focus on What is Possible (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1057/focus-on-what-is-possible/ SMP], 226 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"But Jesus looked at them and said to them, With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" — Matthew 19:26 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to see all the obstacles in our way when looking ahead to our day or week, instead of knowing what it is we feel God has moved us to do and accepting that it is Christ who provides the strength and resources to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:13 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It is the Holy Spirit who provides the wisdom and guidance on how to do it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' Whenever you turn to the right hand Or whenever you turn to the left." — Isaiah 30:21 NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
It's easy to get locked into our human ways of thinking that are not like God's ways of thinking [Isa. 55:8] and forget that He is "able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think" [Eph. 3:20 NKJV].<br />
<br />
So this week is a time to focus on remembering who our God is, that Christ is the power working within us, and that if He has given us aught to do, then it is God who will make the way. And knowing this:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>"If God is for us, who can be against us?" — Romans 8:31b NKJV</blockquote><br />
<br />
<br />
==== The Right Eye of God (ficlet) ====<br />
<br />
Canon: Lineage<br />
<br />
[http://notebook.lianamir.com/2021/01/the-right-eye-of-god/ NB], 155 words<br />
<br />
----<br />
<br />
Light burned the backs of her eyelids. She squeezed her eyes even tighter shut against the approaching armies marching toward her village. She clenched her fingers around the stone, and hissed sharp, painful breaths in and out between her teeth.<br />
<br />
She could do this. She could do <em>this!</em><br />
<br />
She had to.<br />
<br />
Naikuro was of the chosen lineage, touched by the god her clan served. She saw with the right eye of god.<br />
<br />
She opened one eye and looked through brilliant blue brightness, felt the pain of visions intruding upon her brain beyond what humans were ever designed to handle— Devastation. A wilderness of her homeland. Her people staring back at her horrified and equally devastated, but... Alive! Their homes gone, charred trees scarring the sky, the earth broken beneath their feet, but alive!<br />
<br />
Naikuro felt it bubbling within her flesh like smoke and opened her other eye, black and burning. The right eye of god.<br />
<br />
=== 1/19/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[keep on walking (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1072/keep-on-walking-poem/ SMP], 8 lines<br />
<br />
I really am a lot of things—<br><br />
but one thing I have learned:<br><br />
never let go of your dreams<br><br />
nor the miles you've earned!<br><br />
Walk and walk and keep on walking<br><br />
forward through the night,<br><br />
because if you just fail to stop,<br><br />
one day you'll reach the light!<br />
<br />
=== 1/20/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[ (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
see notebook<br />
<br />
==== Still We Trust (devotional) ====<br />
<br />
[http://smeganpayne.com/1094/still-we-trust/ SMP]<br />
<br />
see link<br />
<br />
=== 1/26/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== We Are Queens (fanfic) ====<br />
<br />
# We Are Queens (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29026908 AO3], 562 words<br />
<br />
=== 1/31/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[What May Be (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
A book of what may be<br><br />
What ifs inside of me<br><br />
Mirror hopes and dreams<br><br />
Printed out in reams<br />
<br />
==== [[too closely (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
best not to look at me too closely<br><br />
to ask too pointed questions with your tongue<br><br />
to breach the veil of memory of young<br><br />
minds yet to have blossomed in the sun<br />
<br />
== February 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 2/1/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== On a Dark and Stormy Night (MCU) ====<br />
<br />
[https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/1368465.html?thread=7629457#cmt7629457 DW]<br />
<br />
It was a dark and stormy night. Maria Hill, Deputy Director of the world security organization which knew not sleep, entered her apartment with a tired sigh and saw what looked like a dark figure in the flash of lightning that suddenly brightened the living room.<br />
<br />
She was too tired to be scared, too tired to care much at all. She picked up the baseball bat she left conveniently by the door for such a time as this and swung.<br />
<br />
"Whoa! Maria!" Thankfully for their very young relationship, Steve Rogers was very good at dodging flying objects.<br />
<br />
Much more awake now, Maria flicked on the light switch and shot him a baleful stare. "Are you trying to get yourself hurt?"<br />
<br />
"I was trying to surprise you." He looked rather cute and innocent and puppy dog eyes in his...<br />
<br />
"Are you wearing an elf hat?" Maria blinked. The whole outfit was rather Christmassy. She thought she had a few more days before the day itself to sort out the right kind of thing to give your boyfriend on your first Christmas together.<br />
<br />
"I made dinner."<br />
<br />
Now that he mentioned it, something smelled rather good. She leaned over the counter to glance toward a table set for two. Candles out. Candle <em>lighter</em> out.<br />
<br />
"You should light the candles before you turn off the lights. Fire safety." But Maria couldn't help the little grin on her face as she let him help her out of her coat and offer a massage after if she was still awake. A questionable proposition at best.<br />
<br />
And really, it was a pleasant surprise after all.<br />
<br />
=== 2/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box Treating ====<br />
<br />
* How Does Your Garden Grow (Original): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29272182 AO3], 1350 words<br />
* The Sharp End (My Next Life as a Villainess): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29274312 AO3], 680 words<br />
<br />
==== Commission ====<br />
<br />
* Interlude in a Library (Queen's Thief): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275992 AO3], 816 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/11/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# Conversations Without Words (K): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371215 AO3], 932 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/13/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# As All Can See (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29418504 AO3], 836 words<br />
# For Good, Logistical Reasons (Scholomance): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419044 AO3], 608 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/15/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== Chocolate Box ====<br />
<br />
# They Fought or They Dated, or It's Complicated (BNHA/BSD): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29476608 AO3], 2642 words<br />
<br />
=== 2/18/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Point and Shoot (MCU): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29549658 AO3], 626 words<br />
<br />
== March 2021 ==<br />
<br />
=== 3/3/21 ===<br />
<br />
# Underwater (No. 1 for You): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834379 AO3], 100 words<br />
# Greater than the Sum (TOG): [https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835363 AO3], 640 words<br />
<br />
=== 3/7/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[Between Apocalypse (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Perhaps we die<br><br />
Perhaps we cry<br><br />
Our voices lifted<br><br />
To a sky<br><br />
Painted with<br><br />
A brassy sheen<br><br />
The sunset color<br><br />
In between<br><br />
One apocalypse<br><br />
And the next<br><br />
Written in<br><br />
An ancient text<br><br />
Perhaps we live<br><br />
Perhaps we give<br><br />
Our hearts, our souls<br><br />
Just to forgive<br />
<br />
==== [[Undefended (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Bridges built, so quickly mended<br><br />
Things once thought but not defended<br><br />
Hopes and dreams of sometime peace<br><br />
But never letting go to cease<br />
<br />
==== [[Ringing Me Back (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hear the chime of the bells<br><br />
Ringing me back to my chains<br><br />
Calling my duties out loud<br><br />
I take breathing moments in vain<br><br />
For just when I find me to breathe<br><br />
It's time to go swimming again<br />
<br />
==== [[tides (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
waves in, waves out<br><br />
the tides of my mind<br><br />
flow as they flow<br><br />
until a new find<br />
<br />
==== [[you find me (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
''For K and B''<br />
<br />
broken<br><br />
in pieces you find me<br><br />
gather my heart and draw me<br><br />
I can't walk away<br><br />
do I want to?<br />
<br />
save me<br><br />
do you know that you saved me?<br><br />
and then you were torn from my arms<br><br />
and I need you to save me again<br />
<br />
quietly<br><br />
I'm lying in wait like a lion<br><br />
biding my time for destruction<br><br />
dreaming of you<br><br />
and only your face<br />
<br />
==== [[honey (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
the honey-colored sweetness<br />
::::a taste of nuts and chicory:<br><br />
the lightness on my tongue,<br />
::::a hint of what could be—<br><br />
the words that trip around<br />
::::rich and dark beneath<br><br />
the truth of what I mean<br />
<br />
==== [[if you think (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
if you think that you can break me, guess again<br><br />
I know we used to call each other friend<br><br />
but I have walked this splintered road alone<br><br />
and ne'er forgot the way to go back home<br><br />
home is where my heart is and my soul<br><br />
for these things always, ever are my own<br />
<br />
==== [[over the bones of the world (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
draw me, sketch me out—<br><br />
like the backbone of a poem<br><br />
over the bones of the world<br><br />
light me and shade me with color—<br><br />
nerve endings bright with the knowledge<br><br />
shared between all at my fingertips<br><br />
and the soul of my brain—<br><br />
I hold out a light, not in vain<br />
<br />
==== [[adapt (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
truth is not flexible<br><br />
but it adapts<br><br />
I sink onto stone and I wait<br><br />
anchored for whatever comes next<br />
<br />
=== 3/8/21 ===<br />
<br />
==== [[let there be light (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I will not weaponize my soul, my pain<br><br />
I will not hold you accountable for my name<br><br />
I will not be taken without a fight<br><br />
And through the darkest hour, let there be light<br />
<br />
==== [[Gatekeeper (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Soul whispers quietly: do I hear it?<br><br />
Yes, but let me tell you I don't fear it,<br><br />
For I am the keeper of keys and 'tis my tongue,<br><br />
Decides what shall not pass, though it is young.<br />
<br />
==== [[In the window (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Light in the window burning,<br />
::yearning,<br />
::::turning<br><br />
toward me where I can see it,<br />
::touch it,<br />
::::hold it<br><br />
in my soul as though in my hand.<br><br />
Do you understand—?<br><br />
The light fills my eyes<br><br />
and colors my night<br><br />
and opens my life:<br><br />
it is so bright<br><br />
to cast out the pain<br><br />
of another day<br><br />
and another year<br><br />
of lessons gained,<br><br />
to hold to the good<br><br />
and let go the bad.<br><br />
Light in the window<br><br />
was all we had.<br />
<br />
<br />
==== [[Did I forget...? (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Guess I didn't actually forget<br><br />
how to write a poem: I<br><br />
was wondering that.<br><br />
It's been so long since ink on my hands<br><br />
wandered by way of the poetic,<br><br />
since thoughts in my head<br><br />
felt something not eidetic<br><br />
nor delightfully fictive.<br><br />
Am I broken record?<br><br />
I said to myself just the other day<br><br />
and did not turn to go myself<br><br />
out by another way—<br><br />
this is the sort of thing that drives me<br><br />
to open up windows and gates,<br><br />
peek outside and look in the mirror,<br><br />
to see if the feeling abates.<br><br />
You remember the way we always<br><br />
used to talk, my soul.<br><br />
You always questioned; I always answered:<br><br />
the truth was (not) always known.<br><br />
And never forget the whole of equations:<br><br />
For You, O Lord, I give the throne.<br />
<br />
==== [[Morning Prayers #001 (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
Good morning, bright world! Good morning, my God,<br><br />
The light of my life and the source of true love:<br><br />
I feel it inside me, the beat of my heart<br><br />
Tuning me gently and helping me start.<br><br />
A new day is dawning; I need to love You<br><br />
And my fellow man in all things that I do.<br><br />
And Lord, I pray, help me to keep pushing through.<br />
<br />
==== [[a wall (poem)]] ====<br />
<br />
I hit a wall and here I stop<br><br />
to lean<br><br />
against the brick-strong hard defense<br><br />
against me<br><br />
I can live with this I think<br><br />
if I can rest<br><br />
::...finally...<br><br />
this is what it looks like when<br><br />
I'm made to stop to breathe</div>Lianamir